**NOTE: edited after I realized I had omitted one of my question & answers. **
WOW! The quality of the discussion over the course of this week really knocked me off my feet! Thank you to everyone who participated for all your amazing responses! If you haven't taken the time to go back and peruse the discussion, I really encourage you to do so (
here's a link to where wildgoose started things off). I found reading through everyone's thoughts about "success" to be a truly profound experience. Something that seemed particularly significant to me: while there were many different ideas, measures, and situations described, ALL of them seemed completely appropriate and relevant to that person, and IMPORTANTLY, to my mind they all describe a very healthy and reasonable assessment of what "success" looks like. That feels important.
As promised, my own responses are below. I want to note explicitly that these are just my personal thoughts and ideas, and not necessarily any kind of "model" for anyone else. I think you all gave some of the best answers I could imagine, and you've certainly inspired me in a powerful way.
I am so thankful to be a part of this group.
What does "success" look like to you?With respect to my health and behavioral pattern/choices, my model of "success" is pretty simple and surely familiar:
SUCCESS = ADHERENCE + TIME
Jeff often refers to the MWL program as the program for Maximum Health, and I sincerely believe this to be true (at a minimum, it seems true for me in particular), so my mental picture of "success" is occupied by that pattern of behavior, now and on into the future. I also try to keep in mind Jeff's "
health formula":
Health = CR-ON + appropriate exercise/fitness + adequate rest, relaxation & sleep + adequate sunshine + emotional poise + pure air + pure water
That is pretty expansive, right?!? Speaking more generally, and more from the "emotional side of things," a lot of my thoughts about how to frame success, and particularly how to differentiate that frame from my, sometimes maladaptive, inclinations toward perfectionism are discussed in
this post.
The earlier discussions of direction, mindset and motivation are spurring me to share some thoughts on the perspective I use in driving myself forward and encouraging ongoing progress.
My personal default tends to be aiming toward perfection, but that path is clearly fraught with troubles; we humans are imperfect by our very nature, so if our goal is perfection we are guaranteed to fall short. Circumstances also sometimes intervene, making perfection unattainable despite all our efforts. Often the very best we can do still won't measure up against "perfect."
It seems advantageous to me to forfeit perfection as a goal, and instead pursue excellence. I can put forward my best efforts each week to do an excellent job working on the fundamental principles, behaviors and skills that are important and relevant to me. When I inevitably make mistakes, I try to exercise self-compassion, recognizing it's OK not to be perfect and that mistakes are a natural part of the learning process, as Jeff has so eloquently said.
JeffN wrote:5) BE PERSISTENT AND WORK HARD: Success is a marathon, not a
sprint. Never give up.
Like in all things, there will be some setbacks on the road to
health, and some difficult times ahead. This IS part of the
process. Relapse/setbacks do not equal failure, they are part
of the process of change (and success) that we all go through.
You will also encounter some obstacles. These are not there
as a sign for you to quit, but as a challenge to strengthen
your commitment to reaching your goals.
I think perhaps the difference between the pursuit of excellence vs. perfection is differentiated in our response to mistakes and obstacles - when I was seeking perfection, and made a mistake I often tended to "knock over the table" and give up for that day (or days or week
). That usually left me depressed, with a lot of practice at giving up, but very little practical experience overcoming obstacles or learning how to mitigate future mistakes.
In pursuing excellence, mistakes and failures can provide an opportunity for growth; I can learn something each time, surmounting that obstacle (usually not on the first attempt) and be better for it. That feels like the path to mastery - not being perfect or free from mistakes, but navigating situations with confidence and poise, knowing how to apply the fundamentals, recognizing what "doing the best I can" looks like in a given situation, and striving to do even better next time. That may be a goal that is always just out of my reach, but I find the chasing of it inspiring.
What markers, milestones, or other signifiers do you use to view your progress?For me, the fundamental answer for this question is fully summed up in
this post.
JeffN wrote:There are many biomarkers used to help determine/evaluate someones health.
These include (but not limited to)
BMI,
Waist Circumference
Waist to hip ratio
Waist to height ratio
Percentage Body Fat
Total Cholesterol
LDL
HDL
LDL/HDL
Total Cholesterol/HDL
Triglycerides
Blood sugar
insulin
Etc, etc
BMI is just one marker, as are all of the rest, and no one marker alone can predict someones health outcomes. And, they are just markers.
Or as the old saying goes, they are "fingers pointing to the moon" but not the "moon" itself.
I still think the "plate test" is the best test there is
Particularly, that very last bit. For me, the "plate test" is paramount.
JeffN wrote:But what is more important and what I feel to be the most important test, is what I call the "plate test." Very few people know about it yet it is one of the most effective tests and simple and easy to do and very inexpensive. You can even do it at home.
Here is how you do it.
When you sit down to eat each meal, look at your "plate" and see if it passes this "test", the "Plate Test."
Are at least 95% of the calories on your plate coming from unrefined unprocessed fruits, vegetables, starchy vegetables, intact whole grains and/or legumes? Are there at least 12-15 grams of fiber coming from whole natural foods? Does it meet my guidelines for sodium? Are any "exceptions" being kept to less than 5% of calories?
If your meal passes this "Plate Test", then I think that is the most effective test you can ever have done and the best indicator of your future health and longevity.
That is my favorite metric, largely because I tend to frame any of these "fingers pointing to the moon" in terms of "what would this information cause me to do differently?" It is my belief that the pattern of behavior described in the MWL 10-Point Checklist is the very best for maintaining my health and well-being, so if I have ADHERENCE through the passing of TIME, what would I want to change? (Assuming I am happy, feeling well, maintaining positive relationships, &c.)
I would be remiss if I didn't also mention that, in my case, another measure that I can't realistically ignore (even if I might like to sometimes) is the state of my disease progression/remission. As I've mentioned in the past, CRPS/RSD has no known cure at present, and very few treatments that are scientifically proven to be effective. Sadly, diet doesn't seem to be a curative, either; however, maintaining my adherence to MWL DOES seem to make it much easier for me to control and manage my symptoms and achieve something like a "normal" life (at least normal for me
). I have good times and bad times, and I've had to come to a kind of "radical acknowledgement" that "doing my best" still doesn't always mean I will be free from the effects of this disease. But IT DOES make that much more likely, and that is important. SO - a pretty powerful motivation for me.
In what context do you situate your goals, achievements and struggles?For me, the most important context at present is my overall health and happiness, informed by my past experience with this way of living and my current sense of self-efficacy (if that makes sense). I try to view things not in terms of "how much I can get away with" or "the least restrictive," but rather "what pattern of behavior do I believe, informed by an understanding of the best applicable science of which I'm aware, is most likely to deliver health and well-being?" I also try to situate all my efforts within the context of what feels challenging but achievable for me at present, trying to be mindful of the fact that I do have a chronic illness with which to contend. It isn't always easy, but I try to treat myself compassionately under any circumstance I'm facing. I attempt to frame challenges as opportunities to learn, and struggle as a force that strengthens my practice.
How does it feel like you are doing at the present moment, and what informs that feeling?I guess I feel like I'm doing pretty well! All my biomarkers fall in a healthy range, my MWL 10-Point Checklist is 10/10, and I'm passing the plate test everyday. My pain is minimal and I experience very few symptoms from my disease. I feel healthy, fit and capable. Perhaps most importantly, I'm happy! I feel connected and loved in my daily life, I feel like I make a positive contribution to my "tribe", and I really enjoy my daily routine. I have things to which I'm looking forward, and new goals toward which I aspire. All in all, I can't think of much more that I would ask for than all of that.
Again, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your generous and open participation in the discussion. You're the best!
Have an amazing week, take care & be well!