Buns Again

[Ejeff]

Buns, so very glad your knee checkup went well. It’s wonderful you have some activities you enjoy everyday and can fit into your routine. That’s so great you are learning Spanish too.

Hope your week ahead is great and you can enjoy some more leaves on your walks.

Erin

[VegSeekingFit]

Hey Heidi,

So glad that your knees are doing well! That is amazing!!!

❤️ that you are learning Spanish! So fun and it is definitely helpful for increasing cognitive abilities. I loved studying Spanish in school --- took it from 5th grade all the way through high school. A bit rusty now, but I use it when I can!

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday!
Stephanie

[bunsofaluminum]

Hi Erin and Stephanie. Thanks for stopping by I'm actually practicing getting on the floor and back up again. Adding it to my dailies. Oh! I also started doing 25 pushups off the kitchen counter every morning while my coffee makes Upper body, FTW.

Today I have obesity on my mind. I stepped on the scale this morning, and I've gained weight. Last weigh in the summer I think and I had taken some off. Not a whole lot, but enough to think moving my body, trying to avoid fats, and not overstuffing at meals was working. But yeah...seeing the pounds up today has me frustrated, ticked off at myself, sad, angry. I never thought I would EVER be at this weight again, wearing the same jeans size I was 20 years ago. My own lack of discipline and consistencey has brought me here and I'm super pissed at myself. But that is NOT what I wanted to talk about. I'm going to guard my self talk and move on. Right?

Obesity. There's this lie going around "It's okay to be fat as long as you're otherwise healthy" ... well let me tell you what, if you are obese you ARE NOT HEALTHY even if you don't have high BP (I never have had), even if you are active and mobile (I have been up to the last couple of years) (well...mobile. I am a couch potato by nature so I can't say I'm active). I saw a picture posted on FB, statues of two Rubenesque women with rounded bellies and thighs. They were plump and naked and beautiful. So I posted a pic of the Venus von Willendorf with the caption "Yeah, but my statue is more like this"



and someone said "well, as long as you're healthy."

I want to SCREAM! If you are THIS FAT, you are NOT HEALTHY no matter what your "numbers" indicate. My blood work comes back every time with everything normal. My most recent had slightly elevated glucose but never in my life have I had any "other indicators" ... In my 30's, when I was at my absolute heaviest, I was climbing trees, getting in tickle fights with my kids and my siblings, raising my family, active in my church, etc. I've taken long LONG walks every day of my life (minus the recent knee years which are turning around) and so forth. A "weight loss specialist" (really a drug pusher who wanted to "cure" my obesity with anti-depressants...oh yeah. Depression is one illness I've dealt with my whole life as well, but I don't know that is related to the obesity. Probably) told me "I can't figure out why you're overweight. Your numbers are perfect" well MADAME what if I eat more than I should and don't move enough? Could that be the sitch?

sorry. A bit of a rant here.

My reply to that comment on FB was "Well, as you get older it is a genuine problem. My advice is to get fit and stay fit" or some such.

My sister is a trim athlete in her 50's, also vegan but does consume some whole fats (avocado, nuts, etc) (because she is no higher than an 18% body fat, lower I'm sure) but she's constantly moving and she is still climbing rocks, paddle boarding, hiking, skiing, running, backpacking, playing golf, etc. She says "Use it or lose it" and she's right. We spent a week at her property in McCall ID last August and I was appalled at my complete inability to walk so much as a half mile. I wrote about that in this journal. Everything had deteriorated and I've had to gradually build it back up: My core, my quads.

Frankly I am in sad shape, bordering on dangerously unwell from OBESITY. Obesity is my illness and it is making me sick. It is slowing me down, preventing me from doing things, sucking my energy, keeping me sad and still...sedated?...causing aches and pains, impacting my quality of life.

As I was doing my yoga this morning...oh, here's another thing. I vowed to do yoga every morning for the rest of my life? Well, I haven't. I skip days. Skip walks, too. SO pissed at myself.

As I was doing yoga this morning, I was crying. I don't want to be obese. I want to be trim and healthy, energetic, active. Wish I hadn't gotten on the scale...but now that I know the truth, eh?

Okay so. Obesity is my illness. I need to treat it like a FREAKING ILLNESS. If I had Cancer I'd get treatment. If I had Type 2 Diabetes, I'd find out how to help myself (and get treatment). I'd see a specialist. Absolutely. Obesity is NOT "okay as long as you're healthy" because if you are obese YOU. ARE. NOT. HEALTHY. I'm obese. Not healthy.

Well, got it off my chest a bit I suppose. Now what? This is going to be a fight, it isn't going to be easy...fighting cancer is hard, and so is fighting any life-threatening disease... like obesity.

1) a counselor/therapist to start with. It's been 15 years since my divorce and I had a year of therapy that was SO GOOD.
2) show UP for petesakes. Dammit, do my FREAKING YOGA, every day! Walk or pedal EVERY DAMN DAY. Period. End of report. No excuses.
3) get serious about my food. Gawd, what's it gonna take? Quit buttering everything, HEIDI. Quit having "just a few" mini muffins or almonds or "just one piece" of avocado toast.
4) find some role models.

There's a 90 year old woman who can stand up from the floor without using her hands to prop herself. She does yoga, works out at the gym, goes up and down stairs without hand rails, drives herself wherever she wants to go.
There's a gramma who started out obese and started getting fit. Took off around 100 lbs, who now goes to the gym, rides bicycles with her grandkids and wears tank tops and shorts.
There's another woman, in her 70's who started doing weights and now is RIPPED.
There's this gal on YT, HeidiSue who used to post videos of her yoga routines and other goofy stuff. Check HER out, HEIDI.

5) a personal trainer? Yeah. Probably after the New Year's rush to the gym is over.

I don't want to have to fight, but guess what. Life is a fight. If I back off from one fight, another fight is gonna find me. Might as well fight for something that I know will help me in every way.

[bunsofaluminum]

A Few More Thoughts on the Health Risks of Obesity

Avoidance of going out and doing things because it's embarassing. My fat butt, in view while we're cutting a rug? No thanks. Thus reducing activity levels.

Difficulty in getting up because inertia and fat hold you to the couch. This results in less movement/less activity and adds to the inertia and doesn't burn calories, etc, etc.

Not moving as much, period. When you are fat your feet hurt, so you don't walk as much, which piles on the lack of activity, which adds to the inertia, which doesn't burn calories.

Personal hygiene (maybe TMI but...) It isn't as easy to wipe after using the restroom. Also, the sweat and other ick gathers where skin touches skin resulting in discomfort at the very least and in some cases a rash or other skin symptom develops.

You avoid going to the doctor because it's embarassing. It might not even be weight related, but you don't want anyone looking at you in all your flab.
Case in point: a yeast infection that developed under my panniculus (fat apron). They had to look at it, so I had to lift up my fat apron and show them. BLECH And now I have occasional/rare "flank pain" but I'm ignoring it because I don't want to step on their scale and be examined. (I am changing my mind on this, but I've been putting it off and the reason is due to my obesity)

Mental health issues. It's hard to be confident when you know the first thing anyone thinks when they see you is "look at the fat lady" SMH

I could go on, but I think I've made my point. Now that I've gotten some of this out by writing, I'll move forward. I've got some steps lined up and I'll be taking the first one very soon. Therapy.

[bunsofaluminum]

There's an ad or possibly a PSA on FB about getting up off the floor. I am able to do so...get on all fours like table pose, and push up onto my feet, butt up in the air like down dog, then walk my feet closer to my hands and stand. Wouldn't it be amazing to stand up without that awkwardness, but isn't it GRAND to know I can get up from the floor. I practice it several times a week.

but the comments accompanying that FB ad: "I have to crawl close to a piece of furniture because my arms are so weak I can't use them to help me from the floor level." "If only! I don't know what I'd do if I did fall" etc. Those comments, no lie, inspired me a couple of months ago to do 25 pushups a day. I do them from the kitchen countertop while my non-coffee is heating up. It's pretty much every day, though I missed a day over the weekend. Consistency. I'm not doing power pushups, and I'm not doing a whole lot (though I started at 10 a day back when I started) but the habit of 25 pushups every day is strenthening my arms. Yoga, walking, and pedal thingy are strengthening my legs. Maybe I'll slow down muscle loss, eh?

I'm in my early 60's and keeping an eye on people...like Dick Van Dyke who is celebrating his 98th bday this week. He works out every day with sit ups and pushups, and goes to the gym three times a week. Of course there are plenty of videos out there of grammas who turned things around when they started moving their bodies. But I have another hero, a man who posted a video of himself standing up, with the goal of standing for five minutes. He weighs probably close to 500 lbs and maybe hasn't stood up for a while. And here he was, starting a fitness regimen by simply standing for five minutes. I wish I could find him again, because I want to follow his journey.

My most recent post was kind of maudlin, and I apologize. I was just SO ticked off at myself...and I'm over it. In that state of mind it would be easy to wallow in depression and self- pity but that's SO BORING. It's much more exciting to get on the floor and back up again or to feel the thigh burn when I pedal my pedal thingy. So yeah. I am obese, but I'm gonna keep doing regardless of the freaking scale.

[Matcha]

hi buns,

good that you are exercising getting off the floor. that is something we take for granted when we were young. when my back hurts, it's torture getting off the floor. Are your meals all ready for the day? when i first lost weight, i only concentrated on eating right, zero exercise. in hindsight, i should have exercised to keep muscles as I lost weight.

You got this.

[VegSeekingFit]

Hi Heidi!

I think it is great to work on strength, balance, and flexibility to make sure that we do all that we can to remain independent as we age. Awesome that you are practicing the getting up off the floor and doing yoga!

From your prior post and mention of therapy, from my experience it has been amazing and I think everyone could benefit!!!

Hope that you have a wonderful holiday season!!

Best,
Stephanie