Journal of my journey

[Morris]

January 8, 2018

Well, I ended up getting the bug my mom had. I spent all day in bed yesterday. So, I don't have a report as to what I ate because I did not eat anything except for some peanut butter toast and a cup of tea.

Hopefully, things will be back to normal today.

[Morris]

January 9, 2018

Well, my appetite is back after being sick for a day or two. Turns out my grandson has the flu. My daughter had to take him to the emergency room because she could not get his fever down and his little heart was racing. I went along to watch my granddaughter and she kept sticking her face in mine and breathed on me. I hope she wasn't carrying the virus. I don't think I had the flu bug. Thinking well and strong immunity thoughts.

I had a big bowl of greens and an apple for breakfast. Yum!

[Morris]

January 10, 2018

Well, I am only .2 pounds away from my second goal weight. I am working on those numbers from the ideal weight calculator, but have this current number as a short-term goal. The numbers on the ideal weight are what I got down to when I was on the paleo type diet years ago. I want to see if I can reach it on a starch based diet.

Hubby had a goal to reach for today but did not reach it and, of course, it is my fault. Yep, he blamed me for his not reaching his goal. He said my cooking was too good and he eats too much of it. Funny, how I lost weight and he gained. But, then, I cut out a lot of the junk food I was eating and he is still buying and eating chips and cookies. Plus, he is eating eggs, smoked salmon, sausage, etc. But, it's the whole food no oil cooking that is causing him weight gain. -- so frustrating

The other day, while at Costco, they had a1c testing. I had a 5.6, just at the top of the normal range. I was told to lose weight and that diet and exercise could bring the number down, and to eat a lot of fiber. Seriously? I need to eat more fiber?? I am already exercising and have lost some weight. But, he did tell me that I was normal. Whew! that's a relief, a crazy lady eating whole food plant based is still considered "normal".

What I am eating:
I made Brand New Vegan's Cauliflower Taco Mix the other day and served it with whole wheat pita, added hummus, avocado, black olives, lettuce, tomato
carrot cake overnight oats
Salad - spring mix (lots of it)
Sweet Kale Mix (from Costco - love that mix)
pumpkin seeds
craisins
roasted potatoes and carrots
apple
banana
peanut butter on multigrain bread

[Morris]

January 11, 2018

Whoo! Hoo! I update my little weight ticker to now reflect my final goal weight because I passed the goal I had. 4 pounds to go to the next one.

Yesterday, I had to go to town to take hubby to doctor and stop at my parents to see if they needed any help. My mom requested I make her some butternut squash soup so they could have some in the freezer. We decided that we would have lunch there, so before we left home I made a batch of Kim Campbell's New England No-Clam Chowder to have for lunch in addition to the squash soup.

That chowder was a big hit. My dad's comment, "What are you trying to do, change the way I eat?"

Who says no oil food is boring or tasteless?

I went off plan yesterday. The doc my husband sees always thinks of me when hubby has the appointment and brings me some dark chocolate. Plus, for lunch white bread was served and I ate a couple of slices.

I also had some of the carrot cake over night oats for breakfast, but added pineapple to it. I am liking these overnight oats, but I have to preplan and make it at night.

I managed to get some exercise on the treadmill when we returned. It was a late run of 4 miles. I seem to sleep better when I run at night, but sometimes get too tired that I don't bother.

[Morris]

January 12, 2017

Oh man, that chocolate kicked in cravings. I ended up eating a bag of nougats - ugh! Now, I have to start over with overcoming the cravings. My motivation is my husband's condition. He is so overweight and in so much pain and I recall how much I hurt when I was at my heaviest. I don't want to go down that road again.

Sometimes he pretends he is asking my opinion as to what to eat. But, then he does the opposite. Just the other day, he was telling me how successful he was at losing when he would eat the fried chicken nuggets from Walmart at least twice a week and going out for burgers once a week because he would eat salads a couple times a week. Whatever! I just waved my hand and told him he can do whatever he feels he'll be successful at but I am going to continue to cook the way I am.

My latest sneaky attempt to get him to eat my way is that I keep reminding him how we lost so much weight doing that paleo (keto)- type diet years ago and now I want to see if the weight will come off doing a starchy whole food plant based diet. Too be honest, when I leave the junk food alone and just eat food that is as close to how nature provides it, that is when the scale lowers the number.

But, hubby is so passive aggressive that anytime I suggest doing WFPB he'll increase his animal intake. I now keep my mouth shut. Plus, he takes no responsibility or accountability for his actions. Here's an example, the other day, he was mentioning how much more he is aching. I mentioned that perhaps it is because he is still eating meat and has too much inflammation. His response, "Well, I don't eat as much as other people." -- I am not sure how other people's diets fit in with his chronic pain, but that's how he wants to justify what he eats.

He said I was making it sound like he eats way too much meat. It was useless at that point for me to go on. He got too defensive. If I would have continued the conversation, he would have made it a point to eat more. It is so stupid.

It's almost as bad as me justifying why I just have to buy that bag of candy or chips. All rightie, I think i am seeing the stupidity of my actions now.

[Morris]

January 13, 2018

I have been thinking about how I am maintaining this being under my first goal weight (which was my early adult weight) and am wondering if I can get down to the next one. That next goal is the one set by the ideal weight calculator. I remember when I dropped down to that about 8 years ago and I was amazed that I got down to that.

I still have the size jeans I fit into back then. I told myself that I'd not gain the weight back. Ha! I ended up gaining 20+ pounds. But it was from eating junk food. It is hard to stay away from the junk food because it is everywhere, even in places you would not expect it to be. I once saw a display of 2 aisle of candy in an auto part store. It must not have went well, because that store no longer has that big of a display.

Hubby tells me that the reason the keeps eating the junk is because I am not making imitation food to match the flavor. I told him that I am not even going to try to match it because that is not the point of eating plants and he needs to adjust his tastes.

I am realizing that my siblings are watching me and what I eat. My brother is even trying some of my dishes and liking them. I think that whole food plant based way of eating would make a louder statement if hubby would get on board and stop eating so much junk.

Sometimes I'll track my food just to see what I am eating and the percentages. It never ceases to amaze me at how low the calories are until I add in the junk food. Those numbers jump up so fast and without the increase in the vitamins and minerals. But the % of fat will skyrocket. Weight gain = eating overly processed fat-and sugar-laden food-like items.

What i ate yesterday:
banana blueberry overnight oats (I am getting into making these if I plan ahead)
salad (Romaine and the sweet kale mix, with apple)
banana
mashed potatoes with mushroom gravy (i make mine with onion, celery and carrot.)
malt-o-meal with cashew/hemp milk
peanut butter on whole grain toast
chocolate covered mango (I found a bag in the cupboard and heard them calling my name. They were there for a while because I bought them to take to Christmas dinner last month.) [I'll admit they were pretty tasty to me and I'll need to exercise self control, but, hey! it's fruit]

[Morris]

January 18, 2018

Wow! 5 days have passed since my last entry. I don't know where the time has gone or what I was doing. But the time is gone, never again to experience. Ugh!

Yesterday was an off-day. I started out compliant, but then went off plan, way off. I am so frustrated. This morning, I saw my pack of notecards from my Beck Diet Solution days off in a corner on my desk. There is my list of advantages for eating whole food plant based. I need to get back to keeping my "whys" in the forefront of my thinking. My #1 is "I only live once and I want the most out of my life." And I am not going to get the most out of my life if I keep eating junk.

My motivation is (I hate to say it, but...) when I look at hubby and see all that extra weight he is carrying and think about how much he complains about hurting; then I remember all the aches and pains I had when I was at my heaviest --- that is not getting the most out of my life.

My goal for the year is to do that Engine 2 7-Day Rescue 100% for 7 DAYS. So, every day, I will work toward that goal until I do it, 100%.

I need to plan and prepare. Lacking in both those areas is what is causing me to fail. How does that saying g? "Failing to prepare is preparing for failure"? So true.

[Morris]

January 20, 2018

Well, I am holding my second goal weight, even with not being consistent with the plan. I must be eating consistent and moving enough for my body to hold it there. Have I mentioned that my goal for this year is to make it through that Engine 2 Seven-Day Rescue the whole 7 days? -- no off plan. I love eating whole foods -- I cannot figure out why I keep giving in to junk. Yesterday was Mom's Cinnamon Roll and Glazed Donuts (that was through the whole day not at once) Lunch was eating out and compliant - steamed veggies

I think I see my problem - I did not eat enough before and after the lunch. That cinnamon roll was too late for breakfast and too early for lunch. The glazed donuts were for a craving -- I was craving a Dairy Queen Peanut Buster parfait. I even stopped at the DQ on the way home, but they were busy and it gave me time to repent. But then I had to stop for gas and the half price donuts called out to me. I failed to plan, therefore I planned for failure. Hubby asked me if I made it through the day staying on plan. I lied, well, I omitted the truth and simply stated, I had steamed vegetables for lunch.

So, I am now lying about what I am eating in secret. It was his tone that made me do it to him. He was going to make fun of me for not staying on plan. I do not need that extra frustration. He is going to focus on my erroring ways because he cannot get with eating healthy foods so he will pick out my errors. Why do people do that? Does it really make them feel better? I feel worse when I do that, because I at least admit to myself what I am doing and know it makes me more of a jerk.

So, i am coming clean here in my journal. I am trying hard to stay positive and focus on what is right for me. So, today is day 1 on the 7-Day Rescue again! Plus i am going to do a 10k on the treadmill. Go Me!

[Morris]

January 21, 2018

Yesterday was a bad day for eating. I had an insomnia night and the grandsons spent the night. I was tired and stressed. I found myself ripping into a couple of snack size chips and that bag of marshmallows. And no exercise. When we took one of the grandsons home, on the way there, I told my husband that I wanted to get back right away so I could get a run on the treadmill before 7 o'clock. But on the way home he said he wanted to get out and walk a bit at Wallyworld. -- So by the time we got home, I was way to tired to even try to do a small run.

My weight is up a bit this morning -- I'll be honest and say that I really have not been eating the best these last couple of days. My meals are good, but that snacking on junk has got to stop. I need to grab some fruit or a vegetable instead if I really feel the need to eat.

If I choose better, I'll feel better.

It is grey and gloomy outside. I think I'll pick a beach route on my ifit for my treadmill run this morning.

And need I say it? But, starting over again, and today is day 1 of the Seven-Day Rescue. (I will make it 7 consecutive days before the year is finished)

Oh, what i have been eating is Spaghetti sauce -- I saw the ingredients of an Engine 2 sauce that had carrot and sweet potato puree in it and I thought I could make something like that. Wouldn't you know, I went shopping for that sweet potato and couldn't find one. So, I used a yukon Gold potato.

Ingredients used: onion, carrot, celery, orange bell pepper, mushrooms, garlic, Yukon Gold potato diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, tomato paste, Italian seasoning, parsley, and kale -- then blended it up and served over whole grain noodles.

[Morris]

January 24, 2017

I have been logging my food into chronometer to see the good, the bad and the ugly. Not too bad, except for last Thursday when I binged on brownies. 10 minutes of stuffing my face and there was a day's worth of calories and a week's worth of saturated fat. I did it to see if I was getting enough of the essential amino acids and although I was not seeing 100% on each individual day, I was over that in all but 2 (Lysine and Methionine).

I saw an interview on youtube with some guy who was anti-vegan and it was interesting to hear his argument, his real faulty arguments. He started rambling on about how the low-fat craze was so full of processed sugar. Okay, so what does that have to do with a vegan diet being bad for you? I couldn't listen, it was too stupid even for me.

I found an website site for Below the Line and it is a challenge to live on $1.50 a day for your food. There was a blog where this guy was thinking about doing it and was asking his readers what he could buy for the challenge. He made a list of potatoes, rice, beans, bananas, carrots, etc. And one of the comments was, "Don't do it, you'll ruin your health".

My daughter made a comment to me that she is so broke that all they are eating is rice and beans. I know that is not true because I went to visit the other day and they had about 3 store bought pizzas that they were having for dinner. My other daughter had a flare-up and for dinner that night they had chicken nuggets and french fries.

And the commenter on that blog was concerned about someone risking their health by eat potatoes, rice, and beans? Man, the food industry has us so brainwashed. On the positive side, I am seeing the food industry jumping on board with providing healthy choices. That is exciting to see. Our local Walmart is even carrying some "weird" items, like green banana flour.

I signed up for the UCDavis Integrative Medicine challenge a while back and for a sweet thickener they have a green banana biomass, which is a blended up green banana with water. I have not tried it, but that is why I was amazed to see a green banana flour in the local Walmart.

I have been eating better, but not well enough to say I completed day 1 of the Engine 2 Seven-Day Rescue. It is challenging for me here at home because the more determined I am to get through the seven days, the more hubby eats the animal products and junk food. He keeps leaving his junk food out where I can see it (that is his passive aggression way of sabotaging my efforts). It is so sad because he needs the challenge more than I do. It would be so much easier if we both supported each other. But, he says grains cause him to gain weight. --Whatever!--

So, what I have been eating lately (more than one day):
coffee
mixed greens Salad along with the Sweet Kale Mix (cranberries and pumpkin seed included)
Romaine lettuce
Bean Soup (made with onion, carrot, celery, and potato)
Split pea Soup (made with onion, carrot, celery and potato)
popcorn (not compliant because I used oil to pop)
Dave's Killer Multigrain Bread
peanut butter
apple
banana
pineapple
blueberries
Lunch out at a Mexican Restaurant- had a veggie bowl (rice, beans and topped with fresh vegetable choices)

I see I could add more low-starch vegetables in place of the peanut butter bread and popcorn. I started today with mixed greens and split pea soup after I had my coffee.

[bunsofaluminum]

Hi There!

I see you're following the Engine 2 plan...they have some VERY GOOD recipes. One of my all time favorites is the Mac N Not Cheese made with cashews and fire roasted red peppers. It's high fat so only for a feast, but DANG it's good. Too bad your hubby isn't being nice My feller doesn't eat the way I do, but he doesn't tempt me, either. In fact, when I mentioned that he had cookies and potato chips in the house, making it a little tempting for me, he said JUST DON'T EAT IT...which became my motto. And I don't, honestly. He has a couple varieties of cookies on top of the fridge, and I just don't eat them! ha!

anyway, sorry about the non-support. Good for you, keeping on with the effort. Have you tried cooking a bunch of potatoes and keeping them on hand for snacks? that worked for me when I first started this.

keep up the hard work!

[Morris]

January 25, 2018

Thanks you for your kind words. I need to hear some support every now and then. I have tried batch cooking, but ended up not eating what I cooked and threw out so much of it. I prefer to cook for a couple of days and then eat that.

I need to adopt your motto: "Just don't eat it." Often when I get a craving for a chocolate covered chocolate donut, I'll look at the ingredient list and realize that "it is not food", and that helps me put that package back on the shelf.

My problem is I have not fully committed to giving up the junk food. Residue issues of my childhood when I'd eat all my candy in one sitting just so my sister wouldn't find it and eat it. You should hear me when hubby eats my stash. Ridiculous. I ought to look at it as, oh, well at least now I don't have to eat that junk.

Years ago, I did a challenge with my daughter, that she would stop smoking and I would stop buying and eating candy bars. She lasted 1 day and I lasted 1 month. I believe that it was at that time I discovered that most of those candy bars that are screaming, "Buy me! Buy me!" at the checkouts really taste nasty. It was then that I stopped eating the majority of them and they no longer tempt me. All because I made the decision not to eat them for awhile.

About a month ago, when at my parents' house, I was eating out of the cookie jar and one of my sisters commented something about eating them and I replied that I really did not like them but ate them anyway. Her response (and such wisdom for my younger sister), "Well, that's stupid."

An aha moment -- that ought to be my new motto: "WELL, THAT'S STUPID" whenever I am being tempted.

I ate my soups for each of my meals yesterday (split pea and navy bean) and when I logged them into the chron-o-meter app, those amino acids were all green, way over the recommended amounts. I ate way more protein than I needed according to the app. This is a good visual for me to see, especially with the 7 day report, that it is not so much what I eat one day but what I eat during a several day period to see how it all balances out.

What i have been eating is about the same as the list from the other day. I did cave in to a craving and stopped at a bakery for a cinnamon roll. I have been craving one for some time now. But looking at my list of foods, I am not including grains -- that is most likely explaining the craving.

[Morris]

January 26, 2018

I weighed myself today and I am down a bit from my second goal. I must admit, I like being a bit skinnier. I am wearing my skinny jeans of 5 pounds ago and they are a looser fit now. Yeah!

It was a bit over 30° this morning so I decided to do my run outside. Man, was that nice to run outside in the sunshine. It seems like it has been so gloomy lately. I did 6+ miles. I used my fitbit to track and my Zombies, Run app. Both apps connected to the GPS on my phone and according to the Zombies, Run app I ran 6.55 miles compared to the 6.15 from the fitbit. I think the Zombies, Run accounted for the hills. My time was 1:13:53, which is about what I was going for time wise. I just ran casually and did not focus on speed but just running (or I should say jog) comfortably.

Eating about the same as the past few days.

[Morris]

January 27, 2108

I need to drink more water throughout the day.

Hubby has a goal and he is finally getting serious about not eating out every time we go to town. I am so glad this is happening. Yesterday, he wanted to eat out and get a breakfast -- He has everything he needs to make this at home. Fortunately, when I said I'd make a huge salad when we got home, that was enough to change his mind.

He is going through, "I think i have a kidney stone again". He seems to get them when he eats cheese and meat. He says it is just the cheese that causes them. He was adding parmesan cheese to the spaghetti sauce I made. Why does he do that if he knows it will cause him pain? Probably for the same reason I eat junk.

Still eating leftovers in the fridge. Today is a new cooking day. I'll be make some cauliflower mushroom walnut "meat" for things to eat these next few days: tacos, pizza (that'll be a no cheese), gravy.

Started my day with coffee and a bowl of Navy Bean Soup

[Morris]

January 29, 2018

I had a busy weekend and non-compliant eating. I am getting so frustrated not being able to stay on plan.

We watched the grandsons and that part was fun. I took them sliding for a bit on the hillside. But, I was tired and feeling lazy and did not slide with them. The youngest invited me to hop on the sled with him and I declined. He then asked me why I didn't want to have fun. Ahh, the wisdom of a child. Why didn't I want to have fun? So, I went down a few times. Unfortunately, that was about the extent of my exercise for the weekend.

Sunday, hubby wanted to go out to eat. I wish he'd get over thinking he has to eat out all the time. I do not enjoy going out to eat. Number 1, it cost too much money for something that is not good for you. Number 2, it is so hard to get something that is not full of oil. Number 3, wo really ought not be eating all that fat because it is going to catch up with us. Number 4, I find myself compromising on what to eat.

I wish he'd get serious about eating healthy. Mainly, because I am so tired of listening to him lecture others on how they need to eat healthy. Practice what you preach, dude!!! That is what frustrates me the most. Once I asked him why he does not make healthy choices and he told me it was because I did not make all of his meals for him. I told him that I have enough difficulty staying compliant myself and cannot take on the extra burden for someone else's eating habits.

I guess you know where I am going with this. I was not compliant with my eating this weekend. I cannot blame anyone but myself. I made the choice to put that crap in my mouth. Me, myself, and I -- only me. It all lays on me.

My compliant eating:
Fruit
Cauliflower Mushroom Walnut Tacos - added not refried beans, potato, lettuce, tomato, onion, black olive
romaine lettuce, spring mix, Sweet Kale salad
Homemade ginger muffins

Today is a new day, let's see how it goes.