by mtarr » Sun Jan 04, 2015 1:06 pm
I had meant to post my weight yesterday but was in a hurry to get the family out the door to Disneyland! Surprisingly I was able to do very well with a combo of home-brought snacks and vegan options there including a grilled mushroom sandwich minus the cheese that was awesome!
Anyway my starting weight for 2015 (as of yesterday morning) is 145.4. I'm 5' 7".
Briefly, my story is that I was an ethical vegetarian (meaning I did it for the animals, not my health) from age 14 to 21. Gained weight through eating lots of dairy and being in "food is love" relationships. When I met my husband, I was doing martial arts 6 days a week but still 227 pounds because I was somehow unaware that Celeste Pizza for One was really enough calories/fat for ten, and that a caramel machiato and a scone from sbux had enough fat for a week. But I was having them nearly daily. And smoking!
So with his unconditional love and the example of two family members who had lost 20+ pounds on Weight Watchers, I was able to make a change. But, unfortunately, I became quite obsessive, counting half points, being cold all the time, and eating things I didn't really like because they were 0 points. In ten months I lost 77 pounds, but I gained a compulsive eating disorder. A black hole that is sometimes impossible to fill.
I have since embraced the whole foods, plant based, low fat lifestyle. It has really helped. At 39 years old, I'm at my lowest weight ever as an adult (I was a chubby athletic teen at 175 lbs). But I still eat compulsively. I eat when I'm not physically hungry. I interpret stress/fear as hunger and eat to soothe. If what I eat, or the circumstances (i.e. interruption from my kids, bad service, etc) are displeasing, I go and eat something else to try to reach some sort of nirvana that doesn't exist. Lucky for me I tend to eat "good" foods but the principle is I'm eating when my body doesn't need the food.
I have read several of Dr. McDougall's books, and I believe a combination of his techniques, together with a spiritual approach of surrender, and the adoption of a few basic rules (such as waiting until my stomach growls to call it hunger) will help me find out what my body looks/feels like when it is being properly cared for.
I guess that wasn't brief at all. But I feel like I need to put it out there, for my own sake, and hopefully, for others. Thank you for this forum!