Frozenveg's Journey to a New Day

[frozenveg]

This is something I have never done--start a journal that folks can read--and starting one in the middle of my journey, as it were.

You all know how it is for me even if you never met me, because it's human nature. I start out on [any project] all gung ho, buy tons of supplies and equipment, get all enthusiastic, learn the jargon, make a mess of the house working on the project--then when it's half-finished, life takes over, I get bored, tired, or busy, and the detritus of the project just gets dusty and becomes part of the background. One more thing forgotten.

That's why when I started McDougalling in January I kept it pretty much to myself. I told Ted, of course, apologizing to him, because we had just bought ourselves a meat grinder attachment for the KitchenAid mixer, so we could grind our own cuts into hamburger. We planned part of our last trip around going to places recommended by Guy Fieri on "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives." Ted loves to cook for us, and he was pretty enthusiastic for the South Beach Diet, although he did his own version he called the Ted Beach diet, since it included sausages, bacon and he never went off Phase I and didn't reintroduce any fruits or whole grain breads. I got so sick of salads on South Beach I thought I'd never eat another naked leaf. Of course, I used Litehouse Blue Cheese Dressing on every single salad, so [literally] a fat lot of good it did me!

BTW, this is MY journal, so I'm probably going to ramble and not make a lot of linear sense. I may never get to the point I was going to make. But I'm responding to a perceived need that I have. I feel I am at a hump. I don't know when I might hit 60000 characters, so I'll just go on a bit.

SO--just like Wednesday is Hump Day, the place I'm at in my weight loss is the HUMP! Not quite half way through to my goal, just like Wednesday morning is not quite halfway through the week. Since Monday I have been feeling tired for no reason. I'm getting OK sleep, and no tension to speak of, but I am just dragging. I exercised Monday morning, but you should have seen me--dragging my feet through the steps, not even swinging my arms--and yesterday was no better. Yesterday was the first day of inventory and that ALWAYS ruins my sleep. I don't know what it is about it, maybe because it's not my job but it is my responsibility, and because I'm the aftermath: Get it all done, put it all away, and then Cloudy comes down to say "Pull it all out again! It doesn't match!" Also, because I need to know the whys, not just the numbers--how did it happen? Could it belong somewhere else?

Oh well. In any case. I felt so good last Friday, weighing in with 42 pounds lost, with my new little bits of clothes, looking so good. But since Monday, my body's been reminding me that at 180, I'm still obese, my belly (over 20 years old this summer!) is still in the way, my knee/hip flexor thing-pain is still bothering me, and I'm old. Obese--the Wii Fit tells me every day when I do the simple body test. In my calcs. I have 17 pounds to go before I'm there, but the Wii Fit weighs me 4 pounds heavier than the bathroom scale, so I probably have at least 22 to go. That's a long way! at 6 pounds a month, it's 3 1/2 months--October. Durrrr.

However. The doldrums is what I'm here to Journal my way out of. Peeked at the scale this a.m., and it said (gasp) 179.6!!!! That alone is enough to get me wild with delight! Even though I was too tired to exercise, and I'm even resting up to take a shower! (I told myself this journal was going to take precedence this morning.) I have not weighed this little since (I'm guessing) 1988. September 1988. Thinking about that scares me a little, but I am not superstitious. This entry is all about me, and I will talk about McDougalling later, but right now I am going to deal with me and my fear and my doldrums.

I am going to succeed at this! I have lost more than the 32 pounds I lost on SB and then could NOT lose any more to save my soul--and then regained! I love this way of eating and could do it for the rest of my life, which will be longer because I am saving my life by eating this way! I wish Ted will come along on this food journey, but I can't force it, and I don't know if his depression will continually get in the way. I just can't eat to please any more. That's why I apologized.

Wow. OK. Time to go eat breakfast and make lunch/dinner:

B:3/4 c oatmeal, 3/4 c. blueberries
L: Lettuce/tomato/cuke/pepper salad w/ 3-2-1
Apple
D: yam/spinach/bean soup

That was yesterday's food too. Because of inventory, I ate a teeny bit of soup and the salad, and then ate the rest of the soup before I left work as dinner, and ate my apple microwaved with cinnamon and a teeny bit of maple syrup when I got home. (Oh yeah, the sweet tooth came out of nowhere Monday with the blahs.) Oh yeah, and maybe 25 little rice crackers (flour--a no-no). Not on plan, but it worked to stop the giant hole that sweet tooth seemed to create.

Maybe I'll even get a shower in before I get dressed! Stupid meeting at 5:30 tonight. Never get home. Grrr.

Cloudy

[frozenveg]

Feeling much better (or more normal) this morning! Yesterday, inventory was good, but with fewer trips up and down stairs (probably 5 for the whole day) but a LOT of standing. My upper back was killing me--I kept bending at the waist to stretch, and I didn't feel like a huge butt was sticking out behind me! No lingering pain or anything from this day--I slept well, no inventory dreams this time.

My knee/hip flexor issue seems to be receding again. I am totally crediting the major discovery I made a few days ago (Sat. am?) of doing reclining cobbler's pose in bed, with blankets to support the right leg. It is so easy in bed to relax and lean into the pose. I can actually feel the ligaments/tendons/muscles relax as I ease into the pose and stay. It's not that I have no twinges in the knee I can feel a small pull on the right side of the knee as I sit here. But there are many fewer twinges, and I am not getting any revenge from two days of standing.

I switched up my exercise this morning, because my knee wasn't hurting, and did the "Get Up and Go" routine in yoga. It starts with Downward Dog, and has Half Dog, Cobra Flow, and a bunch of Child Pose rests, and ends with Child Pose instead of Savasana. I always liked that routine (2 yrs ago) for the morning because I didn't have to rest on the back of my head so I didn't mess up my hair! And it has only one Dog, with no lunges. I will (if I still feel good in the knee) try the Sun Salutation one, which has lunges and about 3 Dogs. As I stood there in DD this morning, I realized it has really been two whole years, almost, since I have really done one! Since I broke my arm in the accident Nov 08, it was totally out of sight. I missed it so much! I am so weak in the arms--this will be good for me. I wish I could do it on the Wii, but I really need the mat, and the chairs are in the wrong place to set it up that way. Maybe later on.

My peek at the scale this morning said 180.2--same as last Friday--but I'm OK with that. Wait and see until tomorrow am, official weigh-in day.

Food for the day:
Oatmeal (3/4 c.) with 1 c. blueberries and 2 T. flaxseed
no-lettuce salad: 2 baby cukes, 1/4 orange pepper, handful of cherry tomatoes, sugar snap peas, 1.5 T. 3-2-1 dressing
Barley-Mushroom casserole (has carrots, onions, etc.) adding 3/4 c. refried beans, 1/2 c. sweet potato, 2 T. roasted onion.
Apple

It's been a good pattern: eating salad at lunch and a small bowl of heated, then eating the heated at work before going home. But it doesn't seem ti make a loss difference, so I'm not stressing about it.

TEFAP inventory this afternoon--I expect it will not go as smoothly as the first two!

[frozenveg]

Karaoke was a blast tonight--scads of people showed up! I had my usual Ice Water with Lots of Lemon! Inventory went well--for TEFAP I didn't have to go down much. I ate my lunch and dinner just as planned. Tome for bed now, but I wanted to record how kick butt I sang! And everybody did, really--even Jackie sounded better. But John P and Frank--big time bad.

[frozenveg]

Just got home - 10:15 pm - from inventory work. I have to go back in tomorrow. I hope I get all the entries done except for the freezer--when is is they are counting that??? I am not too tired.

Weight this a.m.: 179.4 - got to update my ticker.

Food: 3/4 c. oatmeal w/ 3/4 c/ blueberries & T. flaxseed
At work, a cup of blueberries, strawberries & grapes (all I had from the meals ordered in)--(They got pizza at lunch I guess!)
Big salad: lettuce, peppers, cukes, tomatoes, snap peas, 1.5 T. 3-2-1 dressing (ate at 1 p.m.)
More baked barley, carrots, yam, & refried beans (about 2 cups) (ate at 4 p.m.)
An apple

Need to sleep now and get back there early tomorrow. Wish I knew when the Palmer PO opens.

I guess

[frozenveg]

Worked till 3:30 yesterday--was like a zombie by the end, but I still had to go to the PO and buy gas and groceries. Also managed to turn in my books at the book store and got 2 used ones for free, and so it was 6 by the time I got home.

I was soooo longing for a "wine evening"--but we don't have any at home right now, and I was being GOOD! I had carefully planned my "treat" dinner: I made a wonderful bean dip--organic black refried beans, a can of tomatoes, 3/4 cup corn, the rest of the chipotle seasoning packet, veggie broth. I baked corn chips (burnt the first set!!!), and cut up jicama and cabbage for my fresh vegs. Ate a LOT of the bean dip--3 helpings--but felt good, and it was soothing and nice. Slept late, but weighed at 5:30 and weighed 178.8, so I don't think I gained from that.

I know, tho, I have to get back to the low-density soup and the 1 cup of beans per day. It's so much better when I do--add measured beans to the dish, rather than making a bean dish with veggies. I should, either this weekend or next, practice making my 4-bean salad with a better dressing than that salsa one Mary McD has in the 12-day program. Either my Balsamic one on the fridge, or trying the Basil, lime, Balsamic one I saw in today's forum:

15 oz can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 tomato, chopped
8oz frozen corn, thawed under running water
1/2 red bell pepper, chopped
3 tablespoons finely chopped red onion
1 cup chopped cilantro (Substitute with Basil)
Juice of one lime
3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

The reason I need to practice is to have some standard bring-along party dishes. My thoughts, so far, are:
Baked chips and bean dip
Veggies and hummus
4-bean salad

OK, better get to having breakfast, cleaning off the entertainment center, cooking my soup and making more dressing, and laundry--and BOOKS TO READ!!! YAY!!

[frozenveg]

AranMC of the Lard Bird Releasers came up with this list and I wanted to be able to find it again, and hopefully add to it. Her point is to remind ourselves not to sample "just a bite" of SAD foods, because we will be:

Slimmer
Trimmer
Thinner
Fitter
Healthier
Bouncier
Vibrant
Younger

fatfree added Happier

Let me think: Stronger, for sure

Slimmer
Trimmer
Thinner
Fitter
Healthier
Bouncier
Vibrant
Younger
Happier
Stronger
Unselfconscious

Time to make the dressing and think about low-cal-dense soup.

[frozenveg]

Need to keep this somewhere for this week: (This from Ladybug's, June 15, 2008 post)

We grow a lot of eggplant. My favorite way to fix it is
slice about 3/4 " slices.
Brown in non stick pan.
Place a little marinara sauce in non stick shallow casserole,then eggplant, slice of onion and tomato if desired, then more sauce.
Option is to sprinkle a little nutritional yeast on top.
Bake about 15 to 20 min. I think I bake at about 375, can't remember

I was all set to do this when I saw that the jar of spaghetti sauce I have, tho organic, has oil in it. I have one can of tomato sauce and no ambition whatsoever. Oh well, I'm not really hungry yet either.

I can't remember feeling this lazy in a long time! Must be the bath!

Yet another triumph: my second sit-down bath, wonderfully relaxing, and I got up from the tub frontways, using my arm and leg strength, instead of having to roll over to my knees to get out. I am so proud of myself!

[frozenveg]

OK, I am officially swearing off weighing in on Monday. .8 gain, same as last week's loss. Poo. The Wii Fit is even worse for weighing--but of course, it's on that cruddy carpeting. It said 1.5 pounds since yesterday. Poo.

So 17 minutes of exercise, step with two Warriors thrown in. Amazing that the Warrior instantly took care of the sharpest part of the shooting hip flexor pain. It's still lingering, but not distracting.

However. Time to start planning this week's food. I really am on a hump, as I didn't feel like cooking yesterday, since I had to make the dressing ( ) and I tried the oatmeal bars ( not bad!), and I amplified the barley stuff our to be less calorie-dense. I think I have plenty of food now, but I do have to plan, not think, when I haven't made a dish over the weekend. I have a stuffed freezer and plenty of canned tomatoes, so SNAP is a big part of my plans.

Onward. Tough week ahead, for a gal who wants a day off. It's not gonna happen, and then Ted will be back. Maybe Monday the 28th?? If I do, part of the goal should be downloading the CRON-ometer.

[frozenveg]

OK, I think it's been a good day. Breakfast: 3/4 c. rolled oats & cherries, flaxseed 1T.
Lunch/snacks: apple/jicama/carrots, then green salad with tomatoes, snap peas, orange peppers, and cuke, plus 1.5 T. dressing, and 2 c. of the barley soup/spinach

Came home, did 30 minutes yoga--best routine ever: seated hip openers. Absolutely perfect for me, for the hip flexor problem. No pain at all.

Then had 1/2 c. snap peas and microwave brown rice. W/1t. teriyaki sauce.

And TMI, but anyway, 3 days of Metamucil has been a godsend. Feeling much better now.

[frozenveg]

Adding to the list:

Slimmer
Trimmer
Thinner
Fitter
Healthier
Bouncier
Vibrant
Younger
Happier
Stronger
Unselfconscious
Empowered
Confident
Energetic
Inspired
Capable
Comfortable

Good words! Felt tired this am. No exercise for me. Knee started to hurt in bed, disturbing sleep from 3:40 on, but slept later than usual.

Downloaded the Cron-O-Meter--it doesn't have such bare basic foods as, for instance, rolled oats, nor unsweetened sweet cherries. That's going to be a very slow slog to set up, especially as I will have to go online to find vitamins and minerals in grams!

Lots of work at work to do. Should leave soon.

[lydia]

Frozenveg, thanks for sharing the eggplant recipe. I am going to try it. I never know what to do with eggplant and that idea looks doable. I may add a few veggies and greens to the sauce....

[lfwfv]

Cron-o-meter advice:

for oats, type in only "oa". I found that oats came up, in dry measurements.

For cherries type in "cherr" and you should get "sweet cherries, raw" as your first item.

Sometimes you just have to try a few different combos of letters or words to get what you want. Once it's your 'favorite', the program learns it and it comes up after typing only 1 or 2 letters.

Hope that helps
lfwfv

[frozenveg]

Lydia, I'm making the eggplant tonight! It's the first time I have ever cooked eggplant, so it's an experiment. I may decide it's not worth the other ingredients...it smells good right now, though!

And lfwfv, thanks for the tip on the CRON-o-meter. I also see that there is a menu at the top (not a food menu, but a computer menu) that I didn't notice because the screen was smaller. I probably shouldn't have tried it first time in the morning when I was getting ready for work! It looks interesting--I am kind of going to practice with it for a while before I get in "discussions" with people who may think I 'm not getting all my nutrients--and before I go to the doctor (I'm not sick, so this would just be to request blood work to see if I've improved since my last checkup 2 years ago or so).

I see that it's fairly easy to get my Omega-3s in--I thought I read that you have to get them from animal products! Is that my oatmeal, I wonder?

[frozenveg]

Thanks, Debbie! I'm sure I will get more expert with the CRON in a while. I added my own oats because I thought there might be more fiber, etc, in rolled oats than in instant. Perhaps I was wrong, but now it's customized for me.

So I did OK yesterday, eating out, turning back the crostini because it had obviously been buttered when they toasted it, very disappointed in the portabello part because I am so spoiled with my very own whole portabello burgers--I forgot this was an appetizer, and it was tiny chunks of olives and tomatoes that they had passed portabello over...and I really hate eating salad in restaurants--I always get stuff on my front!! And when it's balsamic, it's dark brown stuff.

Did no exercise yesterday. Don't know why. Did my 17 mins. this morning, 2 warrior poses and step. Made the eggplant/marinara dish for dinner--tasty, but really didn't need the eggplant, hasn't changed my opinion about the pretty purple veg. Had the rest of my yam, plus a small amt. of the baked barley, for the starch.

(178.8 this am)

Had oatmeal and cherries, 1 T. flaxseed,
Barley soup and salad still at work from yesterday.
I'll take 2 oatmeal bars for snack.
More eggplant marinara for dinner.

[frozenveg]

Really seem to be in some kind of hump that I am not getting over. I need to re-frame that in a more positive light...

(178.6 this a.m.)

Did the 30-minute hip opener yoga poses last night, did 16 m. yoga & step this am; started tired, came away tired. That is more my usual experience with exercise all my adult life--the last six months were some different experience and I'd like to get it back. I mean, I'm getting enough rest and I haven't the time constraint with Ted gone...maybe that's it! When I know I have to stop at 5:00 or 5:10, I push to get in what I can and I don't notice the fatigue or the little aches?

Anyhow--had to throw away the last of the baked barley yesterday--another first on McD-ing. It had been 10 days and it didn't smell right.

So today I'm having the usual oatmeal and cherries, with 1 T. flax
Lunch will be the last of the eggplant/tomato/onion thing, plus a microwave brown rice and 1/2 c. garbanzos, and tomatoes, cukes, red peppers, lettuce, etc. with the dressing.
I don't know if we're having karaoke today, so I may not have last meal--I have Board meeting anyway. I hate to come home with nothing but raw veggies to eat if I'm peckish. I'll think of something.