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Chikiwing wrote:And it's not politically correct but a little fat shaming can do a lot of good. Telling people (mostly females) big is beautiful and they are healthy at every size is toxic. Telling a friend to stop eating junk food and get off their fat butt and walk a few miles with you is not so bad. At least to me it isn't.
nicoles wrote:What I always thought was interesting is that males seem to have a different sort of pressure - being "too small" isn't manly enough.
Chikiwing wrote:nicoles wrote:What I always thought was interesting is that males seem to have a different sort of pressure - being "too small" isn't manly enough.
My mind jumped right over weight and went right into smut with that comment!
Chikiwing wrote:ETeSelle wrote:Being fat is something over which 99.99% of the population has total control, and the fact that they do not wish to give up their doughnuts really is deserving of a little shaming, IMHO.
Yep.
And it's not politically correct but a little fat shaming can do a lot of good. Telling people (mostly females) big is beautiful and they are healthy at every size is toxic. Telling a friend to stop eating junk food and get off their fat butt and walk a few miles with you is not so bad. At least to me it isn't.
amandamechele wrote:
I will respectfully disagree with you both. A little fat shaming does not "do a lot of good" and no one is deserving of it.
amandamechele wrote:Chikiwing wrote:ETeSelle wrote:Being fat is something over which 99.99% of the population has total control, and the fact that they do not wish to give up their doughnuts really is deserving of a little shaming, IMHO.
Yep.
And it's not politically correct but a little fat shaming can do a lot of good. Telling people (mostly females) big is beautiful and they are healthy at every size is toxic. Telling a friend to stop eating junk food and get off their fat butt and walk a few miles with you is not so bad. At least to me it isn't.
I will respectfully disagree with you both. A little fat shaming does not "do a lot of good" and no one is deserving of it.
vgpedlr wrote:amandamechele wrote:
I will respectfully disagree with you both. A little fat shaming does not "do a lot of good" and no one is deserving of it.
+1
We've been round this merry go round before.
Shaming someone in my experience very rarely works. People quite naturally take it as a judgment of them as a person. It is demeaning and demoralizing. It is not motivating. None of the smokers I've known quit because they were shamed into it, and shaming smokers is socially acceptable. They quit for their own reasons. And it's not like the dangers of smoking are in doubt, or in any way confusing.
Overweight is trickier. As this thread began with the observation that people do not even know they're overweight! How can you be expected to fix a problem you can't even see?
Even if someone realizes their problem, (how many people know what a healthy BMI even is?) there is so much confusion about how to fix the problem that simply stating "the information is out there" is not enough. The competing narratives and resulting confusion trip up many well intentioned and motivated people. It is not reason enough for shaming. How many people here had to try other ineffective methods first? Would being shamed during that learning process produced better results?
In my mind, to successfully and justifiably fat shame someone requires a lot of knowledge about that person. You have to know, with NO DOUBT that they recognize their problem, know how to fix it, and are willfully ignoring it. Like a smoker. Otherwise, you are making a lot of risky assumptions. Many people who have lost significant weight have recounted the experiences of fat shaming along the way. Despite considerable success, they get shamed because the shamer did not know they've already lost a lot.
Do you know enough about a person to shame them? The risks of becoming the bully are too great for me to comfortably fat shame people.
Kaye wrote:
100% agree, I don't really understand why anyone wants to "shame" anyone else about anything.
Kaye wrote:vgpedlr wrote:amandamechele wrote:
I will respectfully disagree with you both. A little fat shaming does not "do a lot of good" and no one is deserving of it.
+1
We've been round this merry go round before.
Shaming someone in my experience very rarely works. People quite naturally take it as a judgment of them as a person. It is demeaning and demoralizing. It is not motivating. None of the smokers I've known quit because they were shamed into it, and shaming smokers is socially acceptable. They quit for their own reasons. And it's not like the dangers of smoking are in doubt, or in any way confusing.
Overweight is trickier. As this thread began with the observation that people do not even know they're overweight! How can you be expected to fix a problem you can't even see?
Even if someone realizes their problem, (how many people know what a healthy BMI even is?) there is so much confusion about how to fix the problem that simply stating "the information is out there" is not enough. The competing narratives and resulting confusion trip up many well intentioned and motivated people. It is not reason enough for shaming. How many people here had to try other ineffective methods first? Would being shamed during that learning process produced better results?
In my mind, to successfully and justifiably fat shame someone requires a lot of knowledge about that person. You have to know, with NO DOUBT that they recognize their problem, know how to fix it, and are willfully ignoring it. Like a smoker. Otherwise, you are making a lot of risky assumptions. Many people who have lost significant weight have recounted the experiences of fat shaming along the way. Despite considerable success, they get shamed because the shamer did not know they've already lost a lot.
Do you know enough about a person to shame them? The risks of becoming the bully are too great for me to comfortably fat shame people.
100% agree, I don't really understand why anyone wants to "shame" anyone else about anything. We've all got our problems and we all come to our own point of doing something about it for whatever reason. I hoped never to regain the weight I lost (50 pounds) but I'm only human and to my distress I did regain 10 pounds which I still haven't shifted. I know I did so what the heck would it achieve if some other smug git told me?
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