Weight Loss and Recovery

[bunsofaluminum]

I love it that you're losing a pound a week! I lost 3 lbs in January from my personal "Zero Processed" challenge and have maintained it even though I'm not being very careful right now.

Time to get back serious again, now that the alarm and stress of a pandemic isn't QUITE so alarming and stressful.

[kirstykay]

Thanks for the encouragement, Buns! Glad you are getting serious again. Nothing like a terrifying global pandemic to kick us in the rear and remind us that this is really is life or death, huh?

I am doing okay...going stir crazy like everyone else in the country, but other than that, okay. Some days I feel like I'm in a daze and just getting through the day is all I can expect. Other days, I feel full of energy and optimism and that anything is possible and this pause in normal life is a gift. It's weird. I've read some articles about the collective trauma this is causing all of us and that does resonate with me. Every day I have been able to get outside to walk, and that has been a tremendous source of joy and brings a calming peace to me. And I've been mostly getting my food right. But not always. I look forward to being able to go grocery shopping again. I am not even close to being out of food yet, but the frozen fruits and veggies are getting low. One thing this has taught me is that I buy way too much food on a regular basis. I haven't been shopping in a month and I will be able to get through the next two weeks before it really becomes necessary. I think when things get back to normal, I'll make a weekly menu and shop only for those ingredients.

This week's Dinners and Lunches :
Crab-less Cakes with Rice Pilaf and Green Beans (Easter Dinner)
Pasta Primavera in a white sauce
Lentil loaf with mixed veggies and Sweet Potato fries
Chickpea Cabbage and Rice soup
Chili with Cornbread
Veggie Burgers over rice with broccoli

Twice this week I made green smoothies because I have frozen greens but no fresh. They were a nice treat, but I know they aren't really on plan. I really miss my banana nice cream and I ate my last grapefruit this week which made me sad. I have green apples which I'm unsure of what to do with. I may try to make some kind of an apple crisp, or maybe just sauteed apples with cinnamon. I was thinking maybe some apple muffins, but I shouldn't have the flour. Maybe I'll use them in a rice pudding for breakfast...Okay, now I'm just rambling.

[kirstykay]

Making progress! I was frustrated on my Friday weigh in because I only lost 0.2 lbs this week after only losing 0.3 last week. I can handle being comfortable with only losing a pound a week (the slow-fast way that Dr. Lisle talks about). But less than half a pound a week was wearing on my resolve. On the other hand, I've seen some great non-scale victories over the last couple weeks. For instance, my Fitbit told me that my resting heart rate has gone down, and that is a very big deal! It means that the consistent exercising is really making me stronger. Walking in my hilly new neighborhood is getting boring, but it is doing its job, building my cardio base and improving my heart health! Also, I put on a jacket that I hadn't been able to zip since I can remember, and it ZIPPED! I was even wearing a pretty thick fleece under it! I was shocked! And finally, after I zoom chatted with my mom on Easter, she asked me if I've been losing weight! That really surprised me. So, I am writing this all to remind myself that the scale is not the only marker of success. So, I need to remember that when it is not my friend. I'm glad I'm only weighing on Fridays.

I'm still working my way through our food stores. I will have to place a grocery order someday, but our goal was to make it to the end of April. 10 more days...I think I can do it. I still have about 8 pounds of rice and several mason jars of dried beans, a couple pounds of lentils,3 pounds of pasta, as well as some cans of beans and several cans of tomatoes, a few cans of peas, corn, and green beans. My veggies are almost all gone. I have a couple 1 lb. bags of broccoli, half a bag of frozen spinach, and about one serving left of mixed veggies in the freezer. Also some edamame. Yesterday, I made a big pot of soup using some pouches of cooked beans from costco, a large can of diced tomatoes, 1/2 bag of frozen spinach, 1/2 box of bowtie pasta, vegetable broth, red lentils, nutritional yeast, Italian seasonings, onion powder, garlic powder, pepper and celery salt. It was really really good! It's probably enough for my husband and I to eat for a few days. I will just be eating more starch than veggies for the next 10 days. I will be happy to buy fresh vegetables again. But I have to admit, this is sort of a fun challenge. It showed me that I buy way too much food. I haven't been to the store since March 10th! From now on, I'm going to shop with a meal plan each week.

So, that's what I'll be eating this week, that soup, rice, pasta, beans, and the rest of my veggies. I suppose I could always just go on the "rice diet" next week if we're out of everything else. My husband would be in heaven! Oh, I'm almost out of oatmeal which makes me very sad. I really look forward to my morning oatmeal. Is it weird that I wake up thinking about it? My husband said he can eat the couple boxes of dry cereal we have and that I can have the oatmeal...he loves me!

-That's my check-in. I'll check in again on Friday after I weigh-in. Hopefully I'll see some movement on the scale this week. But if I do, or I don't, I am going to keep on keepin' on because the other option for me is not an option. This pandemic has shown me that my health is of utmost importance and I cannot afford to ignore it for one more day or I will literally DIE! Nothing is more important than getting myself healthy for my family and myself! I can't do anything of significance in this world if I am sick or dead! So this is it. I will NOT give up until I reach my best health.

[Ejeff]

Way to go Kirstykay!! Your post really made me smile this morning so thank you for that. Your hubby sounds great and I guess he loves you AND rice.

Yesterday I ate just some plain brown rice and it was amazing. Usually just by force of habit I will put soya sauce or tamari on it. I did that with the first helping and then I wanted more so I just put a couple shakes of salt and some pepper. It was so tasty seemed really buttery to my tastebuds. I know that sounds so weird, but I have realized the tamari was masking the lovely taste of plain brown rice. Your soup sounds yummy I am planning to make a similar batch today, but instead of pasta I was planning to use pot barley.

That’s so great your clothes are fitting better! My hubby is also McDougalling with me now and he keeps commenting how his clothes are fitting so much better as well. And way to go with the exercise. I find walking and listening to music very calming for myself, it’s like my daily therapy lol.

[kirstykay]

Thanks, Ejeff! I appreciate the encouragement, and I'm glad that my post made you smile. I know what you mean about rice tasting "buttery." It is so true that so often we mask the taste of delicious plan whole food, and surprising how good it can taste when we don't. My husband turned my on to plain rice, and I'm enjoying it more and more. Personally, I prefer potatoes, but I'm appreciating rice like never before!

Weighed in this morning and I lost 2.6 lbs this week! I was shocked and very happy. I did tighten up some of my eating in terms of the 10-point checklist for MWL. I think that had a lot to do with it, but also, I was due for some good weight loss considering my last couple of weeks of so little.

The really remarkable thing for me is that I didn't allow the lack of movement on the scale to get in my head and derail me. In the past, I would have believed the lie that "this isn't working" and then sabotaged myself by getting into things I shouldn't be eating. With the quarantine, I really couldn't do that since there isn't any non-compliant food in my house and I'm not going out. I am very grateful for the lesson this has taught me in perseverance and also in my own ability to stick with this. I think I've always thought I was too weak, undisciplined, etc...I have attributed myself as somehow morally weak and incapable of actually accomplishing this goal. Probably because I've been dieting since I was 9. It does something to a person to carry around excess weight their whole life and feel powerless to the pull of food. My mindset is changing. I am beginning to believe in myself again. Thanks, in part to Dr. Lisle, for sure. I am seeing the pleasure trap for what it is, and seeing that I can overcome it by staying away from the foods we were never designed to eat. It's physiological more than psychological. My body is not broken, my brain is not broken. I can do this. Little by little. One forkful at a time.

[bunsofaluminum]

Thanks, in part to Dr. Lisle, for sure. I am seeing the pleasure trap for what it is, and seeing that I can overcome it by staying away from the foods we were never designed to eat. It's physiological more than psychological.

Every time I read or hear more about the Pleasure Trap, I understand it all a little bit better. When I first heard about it, I was all Yeah? We're attracted to flavorful foods? And??? but something clicked during a video with Dr. Lisle and it became Oh...our BRAIN will attach to salty, fatty, sweet substances. It's a CHEMICAL response, a neurological phenomenon within my BODY...which opened that door a little crack more. Eventually I'll get there.

Congrats on the big weight loss. Also, you should feel pretty normal if you're having days of calm and joy, interspersed with days of gloom and stress. I think we're all doing that. It's a process. We'll come through the other side. We got this.

[kirstykay]

It's been a good week. I am expecting another decent loss on Friday, although I'm just really focusing on the process and trying to not be too concerned about the scale. I am really focusing on the 10-point checklist, and I have cleaned up several things I was letting get by thinking they were "no big deal." I have realized, it's all a big deal!

My personality bristles at "rules" or limits. When someone (even me) tells me, "you can only go this far and no further" I immediately think, "says YOU! You're not the boss of me!" This rebellious mindset has not been my friend, and is probably why I have been at this for the last 10+ years with mixed success. On the other hand, I am capable of doing hard things. I am a strong and courageous woman, fiercely loyal and protective of my family and friends. Able to speak hard truths and hear them. I am competent at running my household efficiently, disciplined in the things that matter to me ( I make my bed every morning and I haven't skipped my morning walk in months.) I have a strong, vibrant faith in God. I have raised 3 amazing humans who are kind and compassionate and making their mark on the world because my husband and I poured our lives into them and successfully gave them what they needed... and knew how to let them go. I love learning new things. I'm smart, creative, intuitive, and find value in creating beauty. I love to cook. I find exercise very satisfying. I have survived childhood abandonment and the devastating loss of my own child. I lost 100 pounds, reversed diabetes, and defeated cancer. I face my fears. I CAN DO THIS!

I have too often believed the lie that I am weak and powerless, that choosing my health and well being is "too hard." That "other people just have more willpower than me," or that I just don't have the right personality to be successful. None of that is true. Dr. Lisle told me that "All the evidence points to the fact that you have everything you need to be successful." I have told myself that over and over for the last several weeks, and I am beginning to believe it. All the evidence indicates that, this time, I will be successful.

So, back to the 10-point checklist. The areas I have cleaned up are:
1. Fruit, Salad, or Soup before each meal ( I honestly didn't think this was a big deal, so I didn't really try to do this. And that was a mistake...it is KEY to satiety and calorie density.)
2. 50/50 plate ( again, I did "pretty well" in this area, but have found that if I want to see real weight loss, I can't slack on this one. Also, eating simpler meals really helps with this.)
3. GREATLY reduce or eliminate added sugars and salts. (I have used the fact that Dr. McDougall doesn't outlaw sugar and salt as an excuse to have as much as I want, whenever I want. I don't usually buy low or no sodium canned goods, and full disclosure, I put a lot of sugar in my coffee. I have gotten away from using soy or almond creamer because of the fat, but I have made up the taste with sugar.) So, as of this week I can honestly say, I have eliminated my coffee habit! And I am GREATLY reducing both my sugar and my salt intake.
4. Eliminate all Animal foods. -No problems there now. I used to have a bad habit of ordering a spinach feta wrap from Starbucks with my soy latte (again, being totally honest here). But since the quarantine, I am no longer going to Starbucks, and I won't be going there once the quarantine is lifted-gotta admit though, giving up coffee and Starbucks makes me a little sad. But its' not worth it.
5. Eliminate high fat plants. Ok, this one is a biggie! I would try, but I just gravitate toward nuts, seeds, dried fruit (can you say, trail mix?), tofu scrambles, regular hummus to dip veggies in, vegan mayo in my tuno salad, avocado on my burrito bowls, olives in my salads, and edamame was a regular snack for me. This one was HARD! I think it has made the biggest difference! This was just a matter of determination for me because watching YouTube videos of people using these products somehow gave me licence to think, "well, High Carb Hannah uses those things, and she lost 70 pounds and eats really healthy, so why not me???
6. Eliminate Oil. I NEVER cook with oil, but vegan butter, vegan mayo, vegan cream cheese, vegan yogurt made their way into my life, and I have kissed them ALL goodbye!
7. Eliminate high calorie-dense foods like flour products. -This is another biggie for me. I love to make healthy vegan muffins. I go crazy over bread (often with vegan butter and jam), air-popped popcorn was a nightly treat for me. Uggghhh, and if there were ever any crackers or pita chips in the house, I couldn't keep my hands off them. All of that is GONE now. And it's NOT coming back! I drool over the facebook images I've seen of people making Brand New Vegan's rustic break, but I have to avoid the temptation. I would eat the whole loaf!
8. Don't drink you calories. Can you say Starbucks??? Coffee??? Red Wine??? Gone. Outta here. No more!!
9. Eat when hungry/stop when comfortably full. Pretty good with this one, although when making yummy recipes, I wouldn't want to stop eating until it was GONE, and I often served myself pretty big portions, so...
10. Exercise for 30 minutes minimum daily. Got that one down...

WOW!!! Actually writing this out was VERY eye-opening for me! I knew I wasn't perfect, but when I actually look at where I had been, it's amazing that I had lost anything at all! I totally get the people who say that 100% is WAY easier than 90%! I mean, I was making really healthy meals, and eating MOSTLY right...I've been doing that for YEARS with very limited results, thinking there was something wrong with me! No real mystery here! I mean, there is doing the program, and then there is doing the program AS WRITTEN!

I am ALL IN, and I can't wait to see the results!!

[jamietwo]

moments!

I'm excited for you!

[Tian-De]

This was just a matter of determination for me because watching YouTube videos of people using these products somehow gave me licence to think, "well, High Carb Hannah uses those things, and she lost 70 pounds and eats really healthy, so why not me???

You totally hit it on the head! I totally understand this! YouTubers are great for learning recipes, but (often) terrible for acquiring nutritional advice. I love Hannah's oven fries - one of my favorite staples by far. But, anything beyond the purview of Starch Solution often leads to weird problems.

I had kidney surgery when I was 13 and just can't handle protein powders. When Hannah was showing off her Seitan and Protein Shakes I thought, "She seems pretty healthy and knows what she's talking about, I'm gonna make Seitan Loaf for Thanksgiving." Goodness gracious it was good. I mean nobody else at the table would touch it, but I was very proud of myself for making Seitan Loaf. Long story short, I probably ate 200-300 grams of protein in a 24-hour period my kidneys ached for a week. Same with the hemp-based protein powder she advertised. With both of these, I felt like I was going to have organ failure. Now I have a giant bag of vital wheat gluten sitting around to remind me.

During the April MWL Weigh-In posts, Mark Cooper suggested something really helpful:

If the MWL 10-Point Checklist had an 11th point, it would be -

DO NOT OVERCOMPLICATE THIS!

As Jeff observed, in his discussion of the MWL guidelines -

JeffN wrote:
People will often say, I was doing the MWL program but it wasn't working till I also did "X," to which they are often unaware that "X" Is already a part of the MWL program. On the other hand, people will often say they are following the MWL program and doing "Y" but they are unaware that "Y" is not part of the MWL program nor recommended.

Before making any "hack" to the MWL program, we recommend you give the MWL program with the refinements mentioned above a fair and honest chance.

Here are a few of the "hacks" people make that are not recommended. None of these are new. All have been around for a long time and seem to get recycled every few years

- A predominately raw food diet
- Eating only raw foods till 4 PM
- Intermittent fasting
- Restricted feeding window
- Extended fasts to lose weight
- Smoothies
- Juicing
- Basing their diet on non-starchy vegetables.
- Not including starch at each meal.
- Delaying the starch component of a meal.
- Eating only fruit for breakfast
- Eating only non-starchy vegetables for breakfast
- Excessive or extreme exercise
- Food Combining
- Meal Replacements
- Supplements


The MWL 10-Point Checklist is clear, easy to understand, and easy to use; but remember that it is also a very powerful tool backed up by a thorough review and understanding of the relevant scientific literature, with insight provided by the decades of clinical experience Dr. McDougall and Jeff Novick have working with clients. It is easy to start feeling anxious if you are struggling, and equally easy to get worried about improving or sustaining progress when doing well - as much as you can, try not to worry. Trust that the MWL 10-Point Checklist works, and just do your very best to put the ten points into practice.

I've been finding this "11th Guideline" to be really helpful. Don't mix things in. Trust in the process.

[kirstykay]

Tian-De, I'm sorry you experienced that, but it makes a great illustration! We sometimes have to learn the hard way! Thanks for sharing. And, you're right - better to not mix in other "hacks" as Jeff Novick says!

So...I have not been great about checking in here and keeping up with this journal. I feel like I want to, so I'm going to try to log in most days, and at least keep track of what I'm eating. I've really been trying to stay true to the 10-point checklist, so I'd like to use this space to keep myself honest in this area too. I'm going to try to not be too verbose so that I can just keep it simple but more consistent.

I've been doing well except for a knee injury that kept me from my twice daily walks for a little more than a week. I am back to walking, but back to the 30 min. for now. I am having some oral surgery (a tooth pulled and a bone graft) tomorrow and not sure how the healing will be. I bought some frozen fruit and Costco Power Greens to make smoothie bowls for the first couple of days even though under normal circumstances I know that green smoothies aren't allowed on MWL. I can also make mashed potatoes and probably oatmeal, but I think I'll want the cold at least at first. I want to be prepared with simple healthy foods that I'll enjoy during my healing. Hopefully the recovery will be quick and not too painful.

My weight loss has been sloooooowww, but appropriate at an average of a pound a week. So, I'm hoping keeping a record of what I'm eating will continue to keep me on track. I feel like I have a really big appetite and I'm wondering if I'm sometimes eating more than my body needs. So, I'm trying to hone in on the 10 points and make sure I'm doing all I can to set myself up for success. I've lost just over 20 pounds since January 2, 2020 (so 5 months today) when I started MWL in earnest. I'm pleased with that, and I just want to keep it going at at LEAST a pound a week moving forward. Of course, I'd like to lose faster, but losing it permanently is my ultimate goal!!!

Food Today:
Bkfs-Oatmeal with Bananas and Blueberries
Lunch-Vegetable soup (starter) followed by a Burrito Bowl with Mixed greens, Tomatoes, Brown Rice, Black Beans, Corn, Red Onion, Carrots, Sweet Bell Peppers, and Mango Peach Salsa
Snack- 3 Medjool Dates
Dinner- Air Fried Potato Wedges, Mixed Veggies, Corn on the Cob

[kirstykay]

Just checking in today. Had some oral surgery yesterday, can only eat cold, soft foods...smoothies mostly for the next couple days. My husband made a Sweet Potato Pudding for me which was heavenly! So far, the healing is going well.

[kirstykay]

Checking in. I feel like I am healing nicely from surgery. Still only eating soft foods, but branching out a little from just smoothies and sweet potato pudding, although I'm still having those as well. I had split pea soup with rice which was very nice and filling. Also, last night I made mac n cheeze with Jill's game changer cheeze sauce. It was a little hard to keep away from my incision, so I think I'll let my husband finish that. Mark from the MWL forum suggested I mix cauliflower into my mashed potatoes, which is brilliant. I should have thought of that! Will definitely do that this week. Also, I can eat canned green beans without a problem, so I need to get more of those. I was also thinking of making refried beans and mixing in some pureed tomatoes. Trying to think of ways to get more veggies. One good thing is that my smoothies are at least 1/2 veggies, so that's why I'm keeping those for now. I have a follow-up appointment on the 17th, so I'm going to continue on with soft foods until then and see what the surgeon says about my healing. Considering the pasta felt difficult to eat, I'm not ready to branch out just yet.

[kirstykay]

Another week gone by. I see the surgeon for my follow-up tomorrow, but I'm back to normal eating and feeling really good. I have to eat carefully, but able to eat both raw and cooked veggies as of today. Yay!

In reflecting on the 10-point checklist, I have determined that the 3 main areas that need my attention moving forward are:

#1 Begin each meal with soup/ salad/ fruit. I would say I do this well at lunch because I often have soup and/or salad for that meal. Breakfast and dinner can use some fine tuning. So, fruit before oatmeal, perhaps is fine, but then I run into eating too much fruit and not having any left over for dessert later in the day which I really enjoy. I think I am okay with eating a vegetable before my normal breakfast, whatever that may be. For example, I love the way steamed cabbage tastes with waffle hashbrowns, I enjoy pairing steamed broccoli with a hashbrown bake, and I could see eating roasted zucchini before with my morning oatmeal (or in it). I have seen videos from both HCH and PK where they have a simple salad of mixed greens with their breakfast, and I could see getting used to that even though it's not traditional. I could also picture munching on some cut up raw veggies that I keep prepared in the fridge for the 5 minutes it takes to cook my oatmeal...done and done. We're talking about fine-tuning here, so I won't stress about it, but rather try to improve.

#2 Eat a 50/50 plate of veg/starch. This is a BIGGIE imho, and one that deserves my best intention. It's not hard, just a habit. Again, PK's videos showing how she makes this a priority give me a very nice model to follow. I like how she says that if she goes back for seconds, she serves herself the same way...50/50- each time. This is a simple and clear cut way to lower calorie density, not feel deprived, increase nutrient density, and create a habit that can continue forever. Plus, I LOVE veggies, so it's not hard. I am really good about this most of the time, but need to get better at making sure that I don't go back for seconds of the starch only. For example last night I made mac n cheese, served it alongside steamed broccoli, and didn't finish the broccoli but continued to eat the mac n cheese. This teaches me that eating the broccoli first (primarily) is important so I don't fill up on the starches first and become disinterested in the veg. Doesn't have to be complicated. Again, I just need to be intentional.

#9 Eat whenever you are hungry until you are comfortably full. This is probably the most challenging. I'm not sure if I officially consider myself a volume eater or not. However, I do OFTEN overeat especially if the food is tasty, which it often is. I like to eat. I am adept at ignoring my hunger signals. I used to think that my hunger signals were broken, but I don't believe they are. I believe I'm just really good at ignoring them. I also think about food a lot, even when I'm not hungry. I like that Jeff Novick said to eat whether or not you are experiencing "true hunger" because it is often difficult for me to determine if I'm truly hungry or just feel like eating. I think this comes from years and years of dieting and creating a sort of food obsession in my brain. I believe that with time, if I feed myself whenever I think I'm hungry whether or not I'm absolutely certain it's "true hunger" or not, my appetite will begin to normalize. I also think that if my meals are adequately satiating, that will help. Yesterday is an example. I cooked up a storm - enough for the whole week, in fact. I thought I was going to eat way more than I did. I simply got too full. I wanted to eat more because I was excited about everything I was making, but I ended up putting things away and knew that it would all be there tomorrow and I would enjoy it then. I didn't have to convince myself not to eat any of it. It was merely a practical matter of being full. I am getting the hang of it.

[kirstykay]

Had a good report at my surgical follow-up appointment. Still healing, but making good progress. Stitches removed. Recommendation to continue to eat soft foods, but by that she means no hard crunchy foods, so that is very doable because the only thing I eat that is hard or crunchy is raw veggies. I can easily do without that for now. I lost 1.1 pounds this week, which feels so good to me. Clothes I haven't worn in years are fitting again, and I just feel so much better in every way. My blood sugar is slowly coming back down after the trauma of my surgery, and I am very encouraged.

Here are a few quotes from Jeff Novick from some things Mark posted over in the MWL thread. I found them very helpful, so I want to put them here to refer to later:

But what is more important and what I feel to be the most important test, is what I call the "plate test." Very few people know about it yet it is one of the most effective tests and simple and easy to do and very inexpensive. You can even do it at home.

Here is how you do it.

When you sit down to eat each meal, look at your "plate" and see if it passes this "test", the "Plate Test."

Are at least 95% of the calories on your plate coming from unrefined unprocessed fruits, vegetables, starchy vegetables, intact whole grains and/or legumes? Are there at least 12-15 grams of fiber coming from whole natural foods? Does it meet my guidelines for sodium? Are any "exceptions" being kept to less than 5% of calories?

If your meal passes this "Plate Test", then I think that is the most effective test you can ever have done and the best indicator of your future health and longevity.

...this is what I find most people are really arguing for. Not about fish, or fish oil, or coffee or tea, or chocolate or wine or anything else, but just for evidence that they can somehow (Please!!) continue whatever it is they are enjoying that they are being told to (or fear will have to) give up. The real fear is not heart disease or having to take medication, but their real fear is the quality of life that perceive they may have to give up and the one they may have to settle for.

This is me to a tea! Before I gave up coffee (and wine for that matter) I just wanted to hear it was okay to keep having those things. I feel that way about salt now. I don't want to give it up. I'm not ready. I'm okay with that, but I need to be honest with myself about it. Sometimes I still think, well would a LITTLE coffee really be that bad...and ingrained addiction for sure since I haven't had any coffee in months and I still think about it occasionally despite living happily without it and knowing it can have an adverse effect on my blood sugar.

But don't do it out of fear, do it out of love. For love of exuberant health. For love of life. For love of a healthy future with your family and children and grandchildren. For love of things you enjoy so you can keep doing them longer and in good health.

BTW, there are several published studies on people who have had to adopt very strict diets either by choice or because they had to, and they have been followed for a year or more and in almost all cases they report a greater quality of life in every measure. Same thing in the National Weight Control Registry, as over 98% reported an improved quality of life even after having to make the most dramatic changes to get the best results then ever before.

But don't do it out of fear, do it out of love. Don't be afraid of what you will lose. Look forward to what you will gain.

I LOVE this! Do it out of love, not fear! Wow. Fear definitely brought me to this woe when I first found it. In fact, it wasn't just my own fear, but that of my husband...he is the one who first found Dr. McDougall and promised to make the changes with me so that I would have his support and help. I couldn't see past my own fear and shame in the beginning, but I used Ray's strength, optimism and love for me to get started. And then the results took my fear and fueled me farther than I had ever gone toward changing my health and weight. The problem was, the underlying fear began to dissipate and with it, so did my motivation. I fell into the trap of thinking that I could do less and "get away with it." I was wrong. Fast forward to another health scare...this time it wasn't just my out of control T2D, but a cancer diagnosis that woke me up and gave me the motivation to spend the next 3 years losing 100 pounds, reversing my T2D and eradicating my cancer (after surgically removing it). But then, over time and without my awareness I again began to try to figure out "what I could get away with." The only difference was I stayed plant based this time. It wasn't enough. My cancer didn't return, but my weight and elevated blood sugar did. It's taken me YEARS to come back and finally find success again. It's harder and slower this time. I have regrets. My blood sugar is more stubborn. My motivation this time was still fear, though. The fear of having T2D in the new COVID-19 reality we live in is what woke me up this time to the possibility of a very bad outcome. There is a difference this time, though. I'm older. I've been through a lot. My original motivation hasn't evaporated. I see things more clearly now. This is no longer something I can do "later." I am learning to love myself and trust the process and not expect unrealistic or immediate results. I am in this for the long haul for probably the first time. It's been a long and windy road. But I am here. I am winning. It is slow, but I'm okay with that. I'm different this time, and this time will be different.

[kirstykay]

It's been a month since I've posted here. Hopefully this will be the beginning of my being here more often. That's my goal.
A quick weight loss update:

Oct-Dec 2019: -3.2

MWL -
January: -6.1
February: -2.0
March: -3.1
April: -4.2
May: -6.5
June: -3.1

Total Loss: -28.2

I have lost and gained the same pound or so since the end of June. I was perplexed and discouraged until I spent some time reflecting on what happened. Here is what I posted about that in the MWL thread:

Weight Change: +1.0

I GAINED weight this week. So discouraging. In retrospect, I guess I'm not surprised. I can tell I've been overeating and getting off plan. It's a good exercise to reflect on where I've gotten off the last couple of weeks:

~ I haven't been as careful to follow all of the 10 points on the checklist.

~ I had some very difficult issues in my family come up that were extremely distressing and I there were several nights I didn't sleep much at all. This will be an ongoing issue, but I feel like I am coping a bit better and definitely sleeping better. I also know I was eating more for comfort and not hunger.

~ I joined a wfpb "challenge" in a different group to eliminate sugar that had several new recipes and I think they were too calorie rich for me. They used a lot more fruit, and I found myself going to the fridge looking for these foods throughout the day, which I know means they were too rich, even though they were made with all compliant ingredients. I recognize that joining this challenge was a big mistake and something that Jeff has warned about when he warns about trying weight loss "hacks" instead of just working hard at perfecting THIS program. I got caught up in it and thought it would be fun, but it backfired and actually made me lose my focus.

~ I added tofu to my stir-fry once, and grabbed a handful of my husband's nuts once. It scared me that I went looking for those.

~ I'm not doing the 50/50 plate as much as I was, or the soup or salad before meals much at all. This is an easy fix.

~ Full disclosure - I had completely given up coffee, but decided I could go through Starbucks "just this once" and get a soy latte. Well...predictably, I have found myself in the Starbucks drive-through a couple more times after that. This is a VERY slippery slope for me, and I have learned my lesson.

~ I think I'm just getting tired of slow weight loss. And that is making me feel less motivated. The problem with this is that the result of being less dedicated and more lax results in NO weight loss (last week) or even weight gain (this week). I feel like I HAVE to be 100% or it doesn't work...this feels so unfair and frustrating to me, and makes me want to indulge. Stupid, I know!

Well... I've wasted enough time feeling sorry for myself...time to fix it. This has been a good exercise of reflecting on exactly what I have been doing wrong and where I can improve. It is helpful to face the reality of what's going on and fix it instead of just generally feeling like "I'm doing most things right, but it's not working anymore." That's the lie I tell myself right before I throw in the towel and find myself back in the pleasure trap and gaining all my weight back. I've worked too hard to let that happen this time.

In retrospect, I actually feel lucky that I only gained a pound this week! I know this has been a really long post, but it has also been very eye-opening for me. If I didn't take the time to do this, I would just continue down a bad road fooling myself into thinking that this "just isn't working anymore." I'm so grateful for this group and the opportunity for a weekly weigh in and reflection and feedback so that I can get back on track before it's too late!

On a good note, My exercise habit is well established and I actually look forward to my morning walks and my evening swims each day, and my weekend bike rides. I can tell my body likes it too. I am getting stronger and firming up, which is very rewarding, and shows in my clothes!

I am going to report here each day to record my food and exercise as well as how well I'm doing on the 10-point checklist. I think I need this level of accountability, at least for now.