Annette's Journal

[AnnetteW]

It's for real now. I AM NOT MAINTAINING....I'M GAINING

Time to stop it before it gets worse.
Time to get back to the daily weighing.
Time to get back to the daily checking in on this site.

I just want to live a normal life and not think about food all the time, but I'm not there yet.

I'm back to the MWL weekly weigh-ins and will work on cleaning up my diet. I've been slacking much too much. My bad habits come rushing back, though my good habits are still solid.

I'm not even going to post all the nasty details, because truthfully, they aren't all that interesting, or bad...they just are, and they accumulate.

I know what to do, I know what not to do. I also know I'm not perfect, and will do my best. I guess that 150 on the scale was a good scare number for me, and it's still 20 lbs higher than I want to be. I have hung out at the 147-149 range way too long now, time to drop and give me 10, lol.

Other news in the house which should definitely increase my motivation. My husband finally got to the doctor for his follow up after his bloodwork. I saw the results and knew exactly what the doctor would say and do, and yes, that is what happened. He told me everything last night when we went for a walk (which we will be doing most nights now)....along with the blood pressure meds he was also taking, he was prescribed metformin for his diabetes (which is that bad yet, but let's nip it in the bud) and a statin for his high cholesterol...oh and it would be good to lose 20 lbs. Excuse me, the man could lose a lot more than that.

I was quiet at that point and he asked me what I was thinking. I said I'd like him to give this diet a few months and really do it. Stick to his blood pressure meds and wait on the others. I said I'd like him to watch some movies with me, and not fall asleep like he did during Forks over Knives. I pulled out three books last night, stuck them on the counter, he did put one in his bag to take to work.

I really do enjoy this diet, I don't like all the restrictions to be honest. I don't know if he's capable of giving up everything and I can't be the one to inform him, he has to want to do it.

Well, I'm sure I'll be posting more about this, but it will motivate me more in the kitchen, and I hope to encourage him away from things like cream in his coffee. His doctor of course said to cut back on red meat and eat less carbs. I kind of chuckled at that, as all I eat these days are carbs.

But this is supposed to be about me, not him. Here's the dreaded chart that shows my gains...right in my face.



Plan for the today:
Breakfast - oats, blueberries, ground flax, soymilk
Lunch - out with the ladies, will bring a cooked potato to add to a salad, glass of wine
Snack - as needed, apple
Dinner - no clue yet
Exercise - hulahoop class, functional fitness class, walk in the evening

[MaryP]

Good for you for getting back on track, Annette. It's hard once you allow yourself those few treats, even small ones. We've all been there and understand your struggle.

I can also sympathize with you in trying to interest your husband in this diet. For the most part, my husband eats what I fix but he is a snacker and likes to keep nuts, chips, and vegan ice cream in the house. So far I have been able to avoid them (since Jan 1), but in the past, I would nibble here, nibble there and then I would fall big time.

Like you, I just want to "be normal" and not worry about food all the time. I feel like I'm almost there. I've been following this on and off for 2 years, but consistently since mid-December. My appetite has changed, my desire for non-compliant food has all but disappeared. This is really working for me this time. I hope you can find your way back and you can find your groove, too!

[AnnetteW]

Hi @MaryP, thanks for the nice comments. I don't want to focus on what my husband needs, he needs to learn about this and want to do this himself. He just went grocery shopping, the foods he came back with are the same as usual. He doesn't buy tons of junk or anything, but cheese and crackers and the darn jar of mixed nuts is there. Perhaps he just needs to do his own thing and take the meds too.

So I decided to reorganize the pantry today, and now I feel just swamped by all the food. So many people want a full fridge/cupboard/pantry, I forgot the term for it. People who don't have food need to have it around them, food security or something.

I'm the other way around, too much food stresses me out. I think I have food to last 3 years. Well, I moved all the beans and dals to a separate cupboard since my pantry is just too small. One very small closet. Not much got trashed, so that's good. A few tins of sardines that have been in there forever and a jar of rancid poppy seeds.

I need to finish up and make some lunch. I also pulled some frozen beans out of the freezer, will make up a white bean dip, basically a hummus with white beans, so my husband can use that to smear on his lunches instead of mayo.

[AnnetteW]

Did a bit of stress eating last night, I don't do that too often. Daughter was having surgery yesterday and we babysat all day, and today again more. Came home very hungry and ate lots of good things, tomatoes, homemade hummus, a few olives, and then a bunch of wheat thins...and then some more.

Oh well....

Today should be fine, won't be home so late and will be able to make a real dinner. It wasn't that I was caught off guard, yes, I know what to do, I just was stressed and made a bad decision.

It was disappointing to see that high weight on the scale last Friday but I also don't want to have it put me in a mentally bad place. My only goal is to see it lower by this Friday. I still haven't gotten totally back on track.

[AnnetteW]

I literally can feel the stress in my body, that is not a familiar feeling to me. I guess it's anxiety at work. Too much is going on in our homelife, I have less time to do my own things (I love to keep myself entertained)....the darn world news, the stock market, those things I can actually feel pressing on my shoulders.

I'm not a person with anxiety...and yet, now I am.

At least I know I love this diet, though I'm slightly off. My goal is to keep focusing and be on track. Breakfast is down pat. I enjoy my oats with fruit. I have 2T of flax or chia and I use soymilk. I know those aren't MWL compliants, but that's not keeping me fat.

I'm back on the big chopped salad for lunches, which I love. I need to bake some potatoes to have them handy, they are great in the salad. Fruit for a snack. Even dinners have been good. I'm just snacking a bit on things that shouldn't even be in the house, which usually isn't a problem, except they are right now...my head is not on quite straight.

Nerve pain from my neck is getting to me, arm/hand numbness and tingling. I don't want to do physical therapy at this time, though it's always so helpful. Something else in my back hurts.

I need Spring and I need sunshine....I need more exercise, but I hurt. AAAHHHHH!!!! This is such a viscous cycle.

And yes, I'm just venting.

Well, I'm going to go start my day, shower and breakfast, plan dinner.

Plan for today:
Breakfast - coffee with soymilk, oats/berries/flax/soymilk
Lunch - giant chopped salad with potatoes
Snack - fruit as needed
Dinner - asparagus, quinoa, haven't decided on what else
Exercise - class at gym, maybe some weights for the lower body

[bunsofaluminum]

I know what you mean about the vicious cycle of needing to move, and exacerbating the pain. Walking is my favorite exercise, but it causes crippling pain in my feet. As for the stress. Deep breathing in a quiet place for 15 minutes works wonders. I don't know why, but that is what broke me out of a recent press of anxiety that was sitting on my body.

Feel better! Keep up the good work with your food choices

[AnnetteW]

I know what you mean about the vicious cycle of needing to move, and exacerbating the pain. Walking is my favorite exercise, but it causes crippling pain in my feet. As for the stress. Deep breathing in a quiet place for 15 minutes works wonders. I don't know why, but that is what broke me out of a recent press of anxiety that was sitting on my body.

Feel better! Keep up the good work with your food choices

Well I just did the MWL checklist for the weekly weigh in and my choices have been horrible. It is crazy though, my choices are so good compared to a normal diet.

I had a massage yesterday, it was nice. I have never just tried sitting and breathing....I tend to pull out my knitting, I call that my zen time. I did sewing yesterday too.

Weight was down less than a pound this week.

Plan for today:

Think before I eat, just keep trying harder. Going to a small party tonight, bringing hummus and veggies (and wine). I'm going to the gym this morning, we'll see how long it stays open. I need to go buy buttons also to finish a project.
Breakfast - oats, fruit, ground flax
Lunch - salad and potatoes
Dinner - something fairly light, not sure yet
Party - try not to eat off of plan (stick to my hummus)
Exercise - hulahoop class, functional fitness class, possibly a bit of cardio

[AnnetteW]

One thing I know about myself is that I eat out of habit. I make a certain sized meal because that's what I always do. I'm going to try making them a little bit smaller, like at least 25% smaller.

Just made my morning oatmeal. Used 1/3 cup oats rather than 1/2. Added 1 T of flax, not two. Half a banana instead of a whole. We'll see how hungry I am by lunch time. I'll probably be super hungry, but morning and lunch are my two easy times of the day. Then a salad for lunch with my potato, and I'll have to plan a snack, and dinner will be early.

Kind of an experiement.

[Ejeff]

I am like you Annette. I tend to do the same thing over and over, but I’ve recently cut back portion size also. If I cook whole wheat pasta I’m doing just 1/2 cup dry because once I mix in the veggies it’s quite a lot of food. I realized fresh pasta is better than left over for me so I’d rather not store the extras in the fridge.

I love getting massages too, best thing ever!

[AnnetteW]

Guess I've been hiding out a bit. Not eating horribly or anything, great considering most diets, but not as compliant as I should.

I've decided to come out of hiding and get motivated again.

That's all for now.

[moonlight]

Hi Annette,
It's good to see your posting again!

[Ejeff]

Hello Annette. How are you doing? Was just thinking of you so wanted to say hi

[SilverDollar123]

Happy Birthday!

[AnnetteW]

Happy Birthday!

Hello Annette. How are you doing? Was just thinking of you so wanted to say hi

Hi Annette,
It's good to see your posting again!

Thanks for popping in and saying "hi", seeing how I've been, etc. I'm not doing well at all. I'm not really ready to start talking about it, but I'm starting to scare myself.

My weight is going up drastically and it has to stop now. I have to start all over and find my mindset.

And you know me, I'll start rambling once I get in the groove.

But right now I just need to be accountable to myself. Lowest weight in January was 145.7 and this morning it was 158.2. Excuse me, what? Yes, I'm killing myself, and I haven't even had a single bar of chocolate or cookies. But I've had a lot of wine and have started in on the oils, and just massive quantities.

I've never given myself over 100% to MWLP, and not even sure I can...but I can today, and that's my goal.

Tentative menu
Breakfast - 1 cup of plain coffee, steel cut oats (no salt or sweetener), 1 apple

Lunch - relatively large salad, other veggies, potatoes, vinegar

Snack - watermelon (frozen...yum yum)

Dinner - Indian dal, brown rice, indian style cabbage

Exercise - long walk if the weather holds out

[AnnetteW]

still struggling....I have to turn this around.