Annette's Journal

[moonlight]

I got my new books the other day, but don't really want to start reading too much yet as I want to bring them on my trip. Plus I have my kindle loaded with all sorts of plant based reading, though I've read them before, I can always reread them.

I LOVE to get new books! What a treat! Please share titles if you have time. I'm trying to develop a habit of more reading fiction. I just finished Barbara Kingslover's Flight Behavior. It was good. How do you like reading from a Kindle? I bought one for my mother and she loves it. Do you have any experience with Apple's version of a Kindle, I guess it's an iPad? The feel of a book in my hands is so much more appealing rather than my laptop... or my phone...

I'm hoping to use my trip as a bit of a reset, as I'm floundering too much right now. I have so much on my mind right now, definitely feel out of control in life (not just diet wise)...I just feel stuff happening, and it's making me lose a little focus. It's okay I tell myself, because nothing truly serious is happening, it's more just lots of little things causing lots of ripples, which begin to feel like waves, but are seriously just ripples.

I hope you enjoy your trip. Taking a break from our daily routines is so important. I hope you can let go of the niggling thoughts of home and relax.

Tonight we go to an event and I'll be dressed up. I'm going to try to get a couple photos, so I can tell myself I'm doing okay.

Yes! Enjoy your thinner look! I remember when I lost 30 lbs. I just kept stopping by mirrors to get a look at myself. And, I started enjoying pictures of myself again. So much fun!

Moonlight

[AnnetteW]

Starting to pack and get things ready for my trip. I'm mentally focused on using the time to try to drop a few pounds also. I have not stepped on the scale in a few days, and won't until I'm back. The last few days were not McDougall friendly, I think I've had the mindset that I'm going to be starting fresh and allowed some major cheats. I won't even say what...that's not the point. At the same time I don't feel bad about it or guilty, it's just food, just not good choices. And it did not make me physically feel bad, which I'm always pleased by.

But today, is 100% on plan, light and easy food. Flying day is always light eating wise. I'm currently cooking some potatoes and a sweet potato to bring along for breakfast (on the plan) and lunch (if needed on the shuttle). I'll bring an apple and a banana, and that should be fine. A couple green tea bags too, for the plane, and I'll get water.

I won't be posting for the next week, I won't even be reading on my phone....it's a vacation!!!! I have books to read and knitting projects also.

I've been getting dry needling done for my neck, 4 sessions so far, and they are working tremendously. I also started in my right hip today. Getting rid of some physical issues should help me a lot. Exercise has been kept just a bit easier, it seems better for my body. I'll just do a daily walk when gone, and hopefully my stretches.

I'm already excited to be back home, to be back to my plan 100%. I think this will be a good reset, being out of the home, and my parents to not go to restaurants. I'll simplify even more than I have been at home.

That's about it...till later.

Plan for today:

Breakfast - oats, banana, cinnamon (grandson drank the rest of my soymilk)
Lunch - Salad, soup from the freezer, it was butternut squash and who knows what else...I don't remember, but 3.5 cups worth was yummy
Dinner - Indian tindoras (like little squashes) and rice
Exercise - bike at gym, yoga, dry needling for pain

[sirdle]

I hope you have a great vacation!

[AnnetteW]

Yea, I'm back home, to my own stuff and kitchen and food. I did reread what I last wrote before leaving. I didn't really use it as a "reset" like I thought, but food is just food there, and the treats are less and relatively healthy. I did snack a bit too much on nuts and chocolate chips, had a few baked treats, but they were ones my mom had made and all low in sugars and fats.

I was able to stick to no animal products for the most part, minus a bit of homemade (raw milk) yogurt in a kraut for the fish tacos we ate. I didn't eat fish, just the black beans that were cooked.

Scale this morning was 147 which is a loss, but I also didn't eat much at all yesterday and was on the road/air for over 12 hours so kept food and water low. Which was good as I had to run through the airport (a first for me) to catch a connecting flight that they actually held. That caused some huffing and puffing on my part.

Plan today is to get back to my routine, do housework, plan some meals, just relax a bit.

Plan for today:

Breakfast - oatmeal, fruit, soymilk (yes I missed my soymilk)

Lunch - salad, sweet potato

Dinner - something with potatoes (found a few older ones in the pantry) and beans. I need a Mexican style of dish, not sure yet

Exercise - only thing will be stretching at home, and housework

[AnnetteW]

I'm always amazed at how I don't end up following my plan for the day before (I do tend to do a quick re-read of what I had written.) I was lazy, and didn't even stretch. Seriously? For all the PT and exercise I've done, you'd think I could stretch....

Today I'm dressed for the gym, and even that was a struggle. Over a week of no exercise, and I really just am not in the mood. So that means I have to go!!!!!

Weight up a pound from yesterday's low, but I knew that was a bit of a false low. So hopefully I can drop at least 2 lbs this month, I definitely am not losing quickly, though I still have 18 to go to goal. I bet I'll really be b*tching when I get to 140 and am down to that last 10. I can fantasize all I want about being less than 130, but I really don't want to struggle with that, and will let it do what it might.

I kind of thought I'd come home ready to hit it hard, but it didn't work out that way. I just want to do it, SS and not MWL. I think that should be fine, and it's better to not resist my own body. I still need to work on the cravings and desires which hit in the afternoon. Today should be fine as I have a 4:30 massage appointment, and will not want food in my tummy, so lunch will be eaten and complete till dinner.

Plan for today:

Breakfast - oats, banana, 2T ground flax, honey, soymilk (those last 3 I don't want to give up)

Lunch - leftover dal from last night, cooked okra (time to clean out the freezer)

Dinner - homemade refried beans, corn shells, lettuce/tomato/onion....low on the veggies, I might have to rethink this

Exercise - class at the gym, massage, stretching

[AnnetteW]

I had a binge yesterday, not totally sure why, and though it's not good to binge, or to binge on what I ate, it definitely gave me a skin reaction, and when that happens, it teaches me something I can't just deduce with regular daily eating. And then I have more conviction to not do it again (though I always do.)

I haven't been to Trader Joes in a long while, though it's not all that far from me, it's a bit out of the way and always so busy. Yesterday it was busy once again, and I don't like "busy" shopping. I bought a few things I knew I wanted, but it wasn't as easy to just browse and read labels, and I wanted out of there and back home. I had been gone most the day already, to the gym, to lunch with friends, fabric shopping, now Trader Joes.

And then the box of English Toffee popped into my cart, and during the car ride home I ate the entire box. I've never eaten the entire box....hence the binge part.

That evening my scalp was itching like crazy and I could feel bumps (I do have psorasis on my scalp.) Then during the night my hands were itching and I was scratching, about to get up and use my prescriptions but I stuck my hands under my pillow and did my best to ignore it. By morning the itch was gone and things had settled.

After stress, I do believe sugar is the items people say triggers their eczema/psoriasis the most, dairy is right up there too, but that's obviously easier to avoid. I've also been adding more honey to my diet, in my morning oats, rather than just a dash of stevia.

This is the itchy red eczema I was feeling, not the water blister eczema, which I do believe is part of an allergic reaction I have, namely to b-12. I have stopped b-12 for almost a month now and the blisters have subsided. I want to wait a few more months before adding it back in slowly. Actually I want my skin to be clear, but that might never happen.

I know I'm off my plan a bit more than I'd like, but I also don't feel ready to put 100% into it right now. I will continue to focus on my almost 100% during the week with a more 80/20 plan for weekends. Maybe after the New Year I'll be ready to really hit those last 20 lbs. I'm also thinking of hitting the exercise harder to get my body harder. My goodness I can feel the muscles in my legs and buttocks, and my arms and shoulders are quite hard. They aren't big though, I could use some size. I don't want to be skinny, I want to look relatively buff for my age, but that's so difficult.

Dang, aging is difficult. The loose skin does not cover muscle nicely. I young lady can have some muscles and the skin sits tight over them, smoothing things out a bit. But an older lady has that loose crepey skin, and the skin is thin and makes the muscles look harsh. That's why they often say older women look better with a little fat on them. (no comments needed on this, it's just an observation.) I guess the answer is to always stay slim and have muscles.

I think it's time to really start working out a routine. I just don't know how much I want to put into it. I have a full weight setup at home (bench, free weights, an Olympic bar) and a TRX, lovely elliptical. I go to my classes at the gym more days than not and they are a variety of Yoga, bands, hand weights, cardio, and my newest favorite is my hula hoop class. Holding a hula hoop up and doing the movements is great shoulder exercise, and also great for flexibility. I love that I do all these different classes.

I have all these opportunities, but I can't get myself to get into a regular routine....these classes are my current routine. I did some weights yesterday, and it felt so good. Though my butt is killing me from my class on Thursday, so that was a great workout.

Why is it such a dilemma?

Food....hmmm. Fall/Winter comfort foods are definitely starting to come into the picture. I want to bake some bread, and eat some bread. Salads aren't as interesting. I need to plan better.

Plan for today:

Breakfast - Oats, fruit, soymilk, ground flax, dash of stevia

Lunch - going to our favorite Indian restaurant, I'll eat vegetarian and try to not eat too terribly much (that's the best I can give)

Dinner - since I'll be full from lunch, it will be salad/starch only, totally 100% on plan

Exercise - probably just walk the dog, some stretching, perhaps I'll do some elliptical or lower body workout

[deweyswakms]

[quote="AnnetteW"]I had a binge yesterday,

I gave up trying to shop at Trader Joe's because our stores are small and crowded. I get frustrated and stressed. And I have done what you did, mine being the TJ ginger snaps, love them! I know my food triggers now, and being tired, in pain (achey old body), stressed, anxious, will send me straight to the 'comfort trap'. Somehow munching on celery or carrot sticks or apple slices isn't the same thing.

You have lost a lot of weight! I admire that as I fight now for every half a pound.

Hope you find joy and peace today. Marsha

[AnnetteW]

@Marsha, the Trader Joe's ginger snaps are amazing!!! Yes, I think I should avoid the store, which basically is easy to do. I used to work close to it and drink tons of wine, so it was a perfect combination, LOL. When I got home my husband asked if I had bought any cheeses, and I said, no, I don't buy cheese anymore. And I used the word "buy", but then he said, well I still eat it. It did cross my mind, but I didn't buy it for him. He can buy his own bad food.

Oh, I probably am not really that mean, I'd buy what he wants, but not on any regular basis.

We both watched "Forks over Knives" last night. He didn't make a single comment, dozed a bit during the movie. I'm not sure he got anything out of it, but he still had to see a lot of it. I know the cancer stuff has to get to him. His first wife died from breast cancer, and my step-daughter currently has breast cancer (and will deliver a baby this week). It's an extremely touchy subject. And it also causes a lot of pain. I don't want to cause pain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We did eat a our favorite Indian buffet yesterday, too much oil but all vegetarian. That will happen 1-2x a month, so be it.

But watching the show did motivate me to work harder. I swear I change what I want to do every day. I've gotten lazy about the sodium lately too. The one thing I do well with at home is the oil, that's easy (just not when eating out). So I'll try harder with the sodium, keeping foods simple, and just sticking with the plan (and no sugar).

And since I haven't been good about sticking to my daily plan, I will continue to post my daily plan but also a what I ate list from the day before, and will highlight my downfalls.

Yesterdays Meals-
Breakfast - Oats, apple, soymilk, ground flax, stevia
Lunch - Indian Buffet (vegetarian, but high in sodium and oil)
Snack - had a handful of almonds (roasted, but they are now gone)
Dinner - tacos with homemade oil-free refried beans, game changer cheese sauce (it's going in the trash), lettuce, tomatoes

Observations - The Indian Buffet is definitely off plan, but it's not leaving my diet, it's too good. There was no reason to eat the almonds. I did not eat enough veggies or fresh fruit.

Plan for today (simplify)-
Breakfast - oats, apple, soymilk, ground flax, stevia
Lunch - large salad, air fried potatoes, dressing of vinegar/mustard
Dinner - WW pasta, sodium free pasta sauce, lots of veggies added

[AnnetteW]

Decided I had made my plan for today WRONG already in the simplifying arena.

So it's now just oats and apple....no salt, no stevia, no flax, no soymilk. Which saves me well over 100 cals.

It's so blah though....alas.

[moonlight]

Hi Annette! For what it's worth, I've been reducing salt lately and, like with other tasty things, if you can suffer through a week or so of bland tasting food, you will probably get used to the new taste and not think it is so bland. At least, that's been my experience. I think it has helped reduce my appetite, too.

[AnnetteW]

Hi Annette! For what it's worth, I've been reducing salt lately and, like with other tasty things, if you can suffer through a week or so of bland tasting food, you will probably get used to the new taste and not think it is so bland. At least, that's been my experience. I think it has helped reduce my appetite, too.

I can tell my sodium levels have been dropped drastically because everything outside of the house tastes so salty. Which is a bit of a bummer when I do eat out. I definitely notice it on the oats, but I can power through that one.

Yesterday was fine. I had no added sodium or oil or sugars. I did eat a few more pieces of fruit than planned, but it sure is yummy. Weight is hanging right around 148, so still lower than it was 2 weeks ago. It's still going down but just very very slowly. My signature says I was 157 when I joined this site and started "more officially" on the McDougall diet, when I officially started adding the starches back, from attempting to eat more Nutritarian, and knew it was just too strict for me. I still think my happy medium is somewhere between the two, which is probably where I'll end up later when at my goal. I think the 1-2 oz of nuts/seeds would do me good, and the giant salad daily (or most days) is a very helpful addition, easier in the summer months though than the winter months.

Today starts a new week and instead of only thinking of the day ahead I realize I do have to plan for the week ahead. A friend is in town and we will meet for dinner, no clue where yet. Our options are slight so we'll have to drive farther out where there are more restaurants. We should be able to find something and I just have to order carefully. No clue if I'll have lunch with my girlfriends on Friday, as we are expecting a baby delivery that day (you didn't know Amazon delivers babies did you? ) Grandson #3 will be born that day, but it's not like I'm hanging around there, not allowed anyway, so I don't think we'll be seeing the baby till Saturday anyway. Then we're watching our grandson during the day on Sat/Sun, so won't be going out to eat. It looks like only 2 eating out opportunities for me to watch out for.

Exercisewise I plan on hitting it harder. I have my daily classes planned out, and will do a bit extra cardio and also start doing more weights. More stretching each evening too.

I ordered 4 "old school" female bodybuilding books, of the 80's and 90's from Amazon, and they are books I used to have and I'm looking forward to reading them again. The library doesn't carry such "old" books any more. It's very hard to even google "female bodybuilding" these days for help and suggestions, you just get monstrosities, sites about steroids, just not want I want. I just need encouragement for this 56 year old body that is definitely hard underneath, but mushy on top.

How I did yesterday -
Breakfast - oats, apple
Lunch - large salad, potato, vinegar/mustard/maplesyrup dressing
Snack - 2 large plums
Dinner - lots of pasta and marinara sauce with veggies (no added sodium sauce), sprinkle of nutritional yeast
Snack - grapes
Exercise - stretching only

Plan for today -
Breakfast - oats, banana
Lunch - large salad, potatoes, dressing
Snack - plums
Dinner - pea soup sounds good (with potatoes, carrots, etc.), I'll make regular corn bread for my husband as my cornbread experiments have failed lately
Snack - fruit as needed
Exercise - stationary bike for knee, yoga class, weights, stretching at night

Oh, today I see the orthopedic surgeon about my knee pains, and I can find out what I can and can't do.

[AnnetteW]

I went to the knee orthopedic surgeon yesterday as I've had knee pain in the left knee for a few months now. I never had knee pain in that knee before, it was always the right knee that would hurt (from exercise.) I figured it was time to see what's going on. I had assumed I'd be told I was starting to get some arthritis due to age (I'm only 56). I assumed wrong.

The left knee has (most likely based on all symptoms and tests) a meniscus tear, the right knee has Patellofemoral pain syndrome, which I guess is your basic "runner's knee" etc. I have an MRI scheduled for next week on the left knee but my follow up appt is a month away.

I'm almost 100% sure I'm not ready for any surgery yet, and will end up on anti-inflammatories and physical therapy. I don't like pills though, and have no problem with PT, I seem to do that a lot.

No signs of arthritis, my knees look great, my muscles are strong, my body is flexible. Huh...go figure.

This has me a bit more motivated to get my weight down to my 130 goal, and no thoughts of surgery until I'm lighter and see how my body feels, though I think the tears don't necessarily heal on their own, but I'm not worrying about it yet.

Of course I'll worry...that's all I do these days.

So I'll keep up with my fitness routine, be careful of the knees, and work on the weight loss, since my maintenance diet is just too easy. Heck, I love maintenance...lol.

I did well with my plan yesterday, actually stuck to it pretty much 100%.

Yesterday:
Breakfast - oats, banana, cinnamon
Lunch - potatoes, large salad, vinegar
Snack - 2 plums
Dinner - 2 bowls of yellow split pea soup, small salad, a few grapes popped into my mouth
Exercise - 25 min bike, yoga class, quicky weights, stretching during tv time

Plan for Today:
Breakfast - oats, blueberries (I really want my flax and soymilk too, so I'm adding them back)
Lunch - leftover pasta and sauce, will add a bunch of cooked greens in also
Snack - doubt I'll need it, or plums again
Dinner - pea soup
Exercise - fitness class, bike, upper body weights, dance class tonight

[bunsofaluminum]

Isn't it funny how so many of our ailments, aches, and pains are better when we lose the extra poundage? I know my feet will be so much better without 100 extra lbs pressing them to the earth all day long. Good on you for being muscular and flexible! woot!

[AnnetteW]

Oops, got distracted this morning. I have a few minutes then off to the gym.

I swear all I did was eat yesterday...don't even ask, yet I was down 1/2 a lb this morning. Makes no sense at all. I won't even dwell on it. I was afraid to get on the scale..eek, then pleasantly surprised. Now don't worry about my mental health, I don't freak out too much over the scale, it's just a tool.

Plan for today (since I'm not dwelling on yesterday):

Breakfast - oats, blueberries, flax, soymilk, stevia (back to my old ways) , plus a bit of salt.

Lunch - pea soup with added greens

Snack - fruit, but not too much

Dinner - going out for pizza with a friend, so either a vegan type of pizza or salad, perhaps a beer....I'm not very strong when it comes to resisting booze out of the home

Exercise - functional fitness class, cardio

Fun - sewing and will watch the Game Changers on Netflix!!!

[AnnetteW]

I watched the "Game Changers" today, and I think I might be the only person on the planet that wasn't totally blown away by its awesomeness. Well, that's how I feel at least. Everyone keeps posting how it's so amazing. I'm not really into world class athletes, so it didn't quite do it for me. It was a fine movie, but so many more are much more informative. I guess it's all about the audience.

Just had to say it, now I'm done and am also glad I didn't "force" my reluctant husband to watch it with me.