Journal of my journey

[keithswife]

My grandparents always had a garden, too. Canned their vegetables and never ate out unless they were traveling. They still ate meat and very little dairy (just milk on cereal and in coffee). My grandmother was the foreman of the two, and sat under a shady tree dictating to my grandpa about what to plant where, weeding, watering, and rabbit proofing. He planted by the signs and read the Farmer's Almanac. Gram developed a sweet tooth in her later years and became obese, developed diabetes, heart problems, dementia, and died at 85. Grandpa is still going strong and is independent at 91. I credit the garden and his love of the outdoors. Unfortunately for me, I have two black thumbs and kill everything I try to plant. I wish I had paid more attention to their gardening when I was a kid. I'd love to have all that information now.

[Idgie]

Whatever works for you, Nancy. I find that when I'm too hard on myself, one little slipup turns into a week of going crazy with food, but if I just say, "Oh, well, that was a bad choice. I'm gonna make a good one now, no problem," it's easier. But we're all different, and I respect that you know what works best for you.

[Morris]

keithswife, I just visited my parents today and went to check their garden to see it anything needed to be harvested, but my dad had just gone through it before I got there. Produce taste so much better fresh from the garden. As a child, I always got the job of washing the jars for canning. How I hated that job. We had so much to can that it was an all day job. But I am so glad my mom made me do it even though I would have rather been playing with my friends.

[Morris]

August 18, 2018

Nonscale victory = my skinny jeans are now baggy on me and I am finding that I am needing to wear a belt most of the jeans I am now wearing. Good thing I am so hard on myself, huh? If I did not keep telling myself that I need to stop eating junk, I'd be eating so much of it and it would be out of control.

I am working my way through the Beck Diet Solution and I am halfway through it. I think I am about where I was each time I dropped out in the past. I am attempting to at least read each day exercise and follow through with what is suggested to do. I am not very successful in being able to check of the to-do list as being completed each day. But at least the exercises are on the forefront of my mind throughout the day. In particular, the eat slowly and mindfully. I am catching myself eating way too fast, just shoveling it in without even thinking about what I am doing. So, I take a deep breath and then notice the taste, texture, etc.

Another thing I am practicing is to pay attention to my hunger cues. Am I really hungry or do I just want to eat for the sake of eating? This has been enlightening to me because I am finding a lot of times when I think I am hungry, it is just that: I think I am hungry. It is just my mind telling me to eat and I am not really hungry at all. And it is not really a craving for anything in particular, just a thought that I want to eat something.

This is an interesting observation because one of my takeaways from this Beck Diet Solution Book is: You encounter a trigger (I walk into a store) --> You have a thought ( I want some potato chips) --> You make a decision ( I will buy a bag of chips) --> You act ( I purchase and eat)

I need to work on that decision making and start telling myself that I won't buy anything unhealthy. I believe that will be in the upcoming lessons.

[Morris]

August 19, 2018

I received a phone call from my dad yesterday that my mom is in the hospital. He said that they found a blockage in the intestine and that they were going to keep her 3 days. My thought was, "Now it begins." She is not in good health and I have seen both my parents really age these past couple of years. It was like all of a sudden: BAM! old age caught up to them.

I woke up tired, out dog seems to need to go outside in the middle of the night. Hubby is a night owl and lets her out before he goes to bed, but that dog always has to go about 2 a.m. And I was sleeping so well before then. Then I couldn't fall back to sleep.

Yesterday, I made a big batch of baked beans, potato salad, and carrot dogs. My granddaughter had been asking for carrot dogs for about a month now. So, I figured it was time to make some. I also served cucumbers, tomato, lemonade and s'mores.

I used Brand New Vegans recipe for the carrot dog, I don't use the full amount of vinegar because the first time I made carrot dogs, they tasted like carrots marinated in vinegar. I need to master the precooking of the carrots, I either over- or under-cook them. Last night's they were a bit too firm yet.

[SilverDollar123]

Carrots are a cheap veggie,& do taste good. Could you share this recipe? or give the site where I can find it.
Thanks in advance. RAS

[Morris]

Brand New Vegan Carrot Dog recipe:
https://www.brandnewvegan.com/recipes/smoky-vegan-carrot-dogs

I don't use the full amount of vinegar and be aware of the marinating time - longer is not better.

[Morris]

August 20, 2018

Well, it was bad news for my mom. She had to have surgery and they removed 62 centimeters of the lower intestine. She is going to have some recovery time ahead of her.

I am just at a loss as to what to post in my journal today

[SilverDollar123]

Oh Nancy,I am so sorry to hear of your Mom having that kind of surgery.((((Hugs)))) to you & your Dad.
& a big THANK YOU for the recipe,you found for me,while your mind was on other things. Will pray for a quick
little pain complete recovery. RAS

[Morris]

August 21, 2018

They put my mom in an induced sleep yesterday because she was too restless and kept pulling out her breathing tube. Hopefully, this will give her the rest her body needs to recover. No word as to how she is today yet.

Despite the added stress, I realized this morning that I made it through yesterday with no in-between meal eating.

What I ate yesterday:
coffee
baked beans
potato salad

Veggie Pita
cinnamon roll - my bad for the day, I usually crave theses from Mom's Cinnamon Roll in the mall - discovered they are not as good as I thought they were.

Tomato sandwiches x 2

Looking at my day's eating yesterday -- too much bread. I eat too much bread.

I picked tomatoes and cukes from my parents' garden and I hope to be making tomato basil soup today. From my garden, I picked a huge bowl of green beans.

The corn and squash are getting ready to pick now also. Veggies from the garden YUM!

[SilverDollar123]

Good Morning! Hope Mom is doing better.Remember to take care of YOU. RAS

[Morris]

August 25, 2018

Well, this was a bad week. My mom is not coming out of the sedation well and it is taking way too long for her to become responsive. We have been seeing gradual improvements. It has been so hard not to get discouraged. There have been a lot of steps back as well as steps forward. But if we look at things day-by-day, we are seeing improvements and she is moving forward in her recovery. It is so hard seeing her as she is and not knowing how she will be functioning when and if she pulls through.

I sort of threw healthy eating out the window this past week and now I feel like crap. I am having a revelation of something I already knew: eat crap, then feel like crap.

People are weird, I saw my uncle for the first time in years. Talk about flashback, he used to always tease me when we were growing up, (he is only 2 years older than me.) All I can say is he has not changed, he started making snide remarks about being vegetarian - oh whatever, I am not the one that had by-pass surgery as he did.

The quote on my calendar happens to be: "There are two days about which nobody should ever worry, and these are yesterday and tomorrow." ~ Robert J. Burdette

That is good advice and then the little motivational advice is: "The harvest is in! Check a local farmer's market for your favorite fruits and vegetables."

Just what I needed to hear (read) this morning.

[Idgie]

Morris, I'm so sorry you're having a rough time.

[Morris]

August 27, 2018

My mom was on the upswing yesterday, we were all relieved. Today, they are giving her something to keep calm so she can rest. This is a rough part of my journey.

My eating is slowing getting back on track. Seeing my brothers and uncles was a bit of an eye opener for me. I really need to get my eating under control so I don't start gaining weight and have health issues. I could not believe the stomachs on my brothers. Growing up I was always so envious of them because they never had weight issues.

My week of eating junk has caused me to have joint pain -- this is the reason I began my journey about 10 years ago. I gained about 3 pounds over the week but these past couple of days by getting a grip on what I am stuffing in my mouth, I lost almost 2 of those extra pounds.

Last night for supper I ate: cucumbers, corn on the cob, tomato, green beans, and baked beans. Man, it felt so good feeling like I was in control again of what I was eating.

My mom seems to be having a minor set-back today, but it may have been too much excitement for her.

[Morris]

Oh, I forgot: Saturday was race day. My time was 32:06 for the 5k. I ran a symbolic run in honor of my mom's struggle. I ended up with some knee issues, but I pushed through because it was nothing compared to the battle my mom is going through. I think this was my best race time this season.

A fellow runner from the running class I attend told me that I finished strong and it was the strongest he has seen me run across that finish line.