A Serendipitous Journey

[roundcoconut]

Oh, Robyn, thanks so much for the update. I don't know why, but I really love hearing from people who've been on these boards as long as I have. People who are in the trenches with me really do start to feel like family to me!

Re siblings who come back in to your life -- I actually have a brother who offered me the opportunity to spend some time with him and his family last summer, and for me, there just didn't seem like there was a good foundation to build from. My brother (like your sister) has my email address, and is welcome to use it to provide any updates, but I made the decision to devote my energies elsewhere, in terms of who I share my time with. Strangely, I do subject all humans to the same standards, to see how much goodness and positivity they bring into my life. So, even someone who shares that much of my DNA just doesn't merit a phone call or a visit, unless they've got a strong background of being supportive and reliable.

As to "McDougalling is just not enough" -- god, I couldn't agree more! This is my experience as well.

It seems like the plant-based movement is so insecure, that they don't want to take an extreme stance against sugar, salt, flour, smoothies, or whatever. So, it is up to each person to figure out how close they need to get to whole natural foods, in order to attain the health outcomes, athletic outcomes, appearance outcomes, and peace-with-food outcomes they originally wanted for themselves.

OK -- I'm rambling here! Mostly I am just saying, I'm so glad you are working through the solutions and getting to where you are going. I think you're doing an excellent job and you have all my kindest wishes!

[nayasmom]

Roundcoconut,
You are a fountain of wisdom. It really is okay to keep a physical distance. I know my sister is going through some very rough times, and I am supporting her journey as much as I am capable of doing, and I'm still taking care of myself as well. I also figure she has her own friends, her own support network, and her family to sustain her, and they must be the ones she counts on the most.
I love your eating-when-hungry journal. I would love to some day reach a point where I can feel hunger and not the anxiety that accompanies it. That would be a major sign of resolution for food obsession for me. Baby steps.
Someone posted in the group that spudding exacerbated her food addiction mentality, but the devil is in the details - she posted also that she felt she was setting a negative example for her daughter, and that she didn't feel like spuds only was healthy. So, in the end, it wasn't her food addiction mentality that was causing her to not succeed, but her mindset about diet and starches. Spudding does work, but you have to make it work. It isn't just about what to eat, but what to think, too.
I've got some stressors to deal with in my own life. I go in for the first part of a crown procedure next week, and it was another crown procedure, years ago, that drove me away from dentists for many years. Very negative experience, and I am understandably very fearful and worried about this upcoming event.
Then, physical therapy has not been as effective for my shoulder as I had hoped, and my doctor wants me to have an MRI to see the extent of the damage, in consideration for possible surgery. I'm not excited by that prospect, to be completely honest.
I'm still streak running, no missed days since Jan. 1, and we're into a new month now. I won a prize of a box of Sunrype chia & fruit bars, which have 6g fat in each one, so I ate one to taste it and put the rest into the freezer for when I do longer long runs. The fat will be good for when I'm running more than 10 miles at a time, as the fat will be used quickly.
My weight is 140.5 lbs, officially 72 lbs lighter than when I was at my heaviest. I've got another 28 lbs to go, and that goal is more visible now than even a year ago. When I look at my body in the mirror, though, I see more than 28 lbs of excess fat. It may well be that I need to lose more fat than I think, but I feel like I'll cross that bridge if I actually come to it.
Robyn

[nayasmom]

I've got a temporary crown in place, so my food choices are severely limited to the softest foods I can cook. I cracked a molar several months ago, but didn't know it, and when I had my yearly check-up with x-rays and chat with my dentist, I mentioned having this unpleasant reaction if I happened to crunch onto something hard at a specific spot on that tooth. And exam showed the crack, but he had to use dye to determine how bad it was.
So I had an extremely traumatic incident with another dentist and another crown, so this was very stressful for me to anticipate. I am not ashamed to cry in front of professionals. They have plenty of tissues.
But it went very well, and post-op discomfort was pretty minimal. There was discomfort, make no mistake, but by the time I decided to ask what to take for it, within an hour I realized there was no more discomfort. I just have to be very, very careful what I eat, nothing that causes pressure on the site, and I'm quickly sickening of mashed spuds and spud soup. The last couple of days I've been eating plain bread and cooked pasta, not spuds. Today I went back to spuds but I baked them, and I will simply have to be careful while eating.
I notice that I can eat bread forever, unless I heat it up first, and then it's quite filling. Don't ask me, I have no idea what that means.
Yesterday was the first time this season that I went outside to go run. My road is snowed under 1/2 mile up, so I did two loops for a 2 mile run. I huffed and I puffed going uphill, but thanks to my run streak treadmill workouts it wasn't as miserable as it could have been, and I felt mighty good afterward. Today I will head out with snowshoes and go up for about an hour and see how much distance I get out of it. Or I might just go run again and do 3 loops this time.
I'm down to 140.5 as my lightest weight recorded thus far, so progress albeit excruciatingly slow is ongoing, and I'm still fighting the good fight. Now, people are calling me "skinny" and saying I'll blow away and so on, and it's SO not true. I'm still packing at least 25 lbs in excess fat. I realize, where I live now, no one has ever seen me this small before. I came here hovering around 200 lbs, and oozed to a high of 212 lbs, and the least I weighed was around 195 lbs, so that was a mere 17-lb range and at that weight, I went from being morbidly obese to being slightly less morbidly obese. So I get why people think I'm wasting away to nothing. But they are wrong. I'm a runner, for pete's sake!
And, okay, let's be honest, I want to be able to say, "I lost 100 lbs!". Who can say why? I can't. It's something I've worked toward for years now, and it's a reachable goal, and it's possible I will need to go even a little bit further than that, but I want to be able to say it. Sue me.
I'm glad I have a doctor who supports my path to optimal health, as we discussed this in some detail, and she trusts that I am taking care of my nutritional needs just fine.
However, she also says I need an MRI of my shoulder. Physical therapy has improved range of motion, but some aspects are not as good as others, so she wants to know the extent of the injury/damage, and will consider referring me to ortho if it looks like I will need surgery. The PT, on the other hand, says that if I opt not to have surgery, I can still get back enough ROM for my needs and be able to function just fine. Somewhere in there is an answer, and I'll consider the best option for my situation.
Robyn

[nayasmom]

I made the decision not to renew my monthly subscription to Spud Fit, so 3/12 my membership will be cancelled. I'm okay with it. I've been spudding for 6 months now, so I'm pretty comfortable with the decision. I'm not going to stop Spud Fit, not even close! It's been wildly successful for me where McDougalling started the process before stalling for a couple of years. It's a slow, methodical process, and I'm used to thinking of my diet in terms of spuds first, spuds last, spuds always. However, after Andrew Taylor's year of spuds ended, he kind of took a back seat to his group on facebook, and now his path takes him in other directions, so he's not as 'there' as he needs to be to help guide and support the new spudders. Now, there's so much cross-talk about other foods being introduced, or use of inappropriate ingredients in recipes, and so on, and that's just too much of a trigger for me. I sound like such a harpy when I continually repeat the rules of Spud Fit to those who should know better if they would only READ the rules. But in the end, it's not them... it's me, how my mind works, how I think and react to things, so it's up to me to figure out what I'm to do about it.
I'm comfortable with my decision. I can do this on my own. Hell, I live in a town of meat-eaters, smokers, drinkers, and so on, and there are maybe 3 other people in this town who are vegetarian/vegan, so yah I'm a fish swimming with sharks, and what's new, right?
My brother and his wife are here for the weekend. Yesterday we went to Lassen NP with snowshoes and my original idea was to sign up for the ranger-guided snowshoe tour but since we rented snowshoes for my brother, I thought we could head up to the Sulfur Works first or instead. The ranger at the information desk said the guided walk would take about 2 hours and was considered somewhat strenuous, which kind of put a damper on enthusiasm for two first-time snowshoers.
My SIL went very slowly, and I followed her, because the slowest person should always lead, and she had to stop to catch her breath several times but made it all the way and back again, so she deserves some snaps for that. It was a great day. We did go out for pizza for supper. I know, pizza isn't spuds, but I knew I was going to have pizza, and I'm not sorry nor do I feel guilty. I had it without sauce, only tomatoes, and plenty of veg on top of that, and it was delicious.
I've got spuds in the oven for breakfast and later snack. I plan to make some no-oil tempura veg with steamed rice for my peeps later, but that's maybe up in the air, as I have no idea what to do today. I would love to not drive anywhere, but ... probably we will drive somewhere!!
This event has spurred me to straighten out at least the downstairs, although I'm not done, so they haven't been over to visit. I'm a hoarder, there's no doubt about that, and I have a hard time keeping up with housekeeping, and that's the way it is. Well, okay, I've had a time this season keeping the house warm, and when it's not warm it's downright uncomfortable, although probably for most people it's quite warm. I'm just overly cold all the time for some reason.
It's all good. You take inspiration from wherever it works, and use it to greatest advantage.
Robyn

[GlennR]

Well, okay, I've had a time this season keeping the house warm, and when it's not warm it's downright uncomfortable, although probably for most people it's quite warm. I'm just overly cold all the time for some reason.
It's all good. You take inspiration from wherever it works, and use it to greatest advantage.
Robyn

I can identify with this. I am cold most of the time now, I used to be too warm most of the time. I think I've slowed my metabolism quite a bit. I'm hoping building muscle will reset me to a warmer, more comfortable basal metabolic rate. I'll let you know how it works out in a year or so.

[nayasmom]

Hey Glenn!
Good to hear from you - I am so DONE with wintertime coldness. I don't remember feeling this freakin' cold before I started Spud Fit, but perhaps it is simply a coincidence. Everyone I've talked to about the weather complains that they can't remember a colder winter, and that's saying a lot, since time was, this area routinely got snow up to the rafters in winter.
Like you, I am hoping like a bandit that this is a fluke year. I do not want to be this miserable in winter forever, because that means I might have to move... and that's not an option I find attractive, to be honest.

The last couple of days have been in the 50's however, leading me to entertain the hope that spring is hankerin' to be sprung. It's too early to hope we are done with snow...

So I ran my half marathon relay this past weekend. Best time so far! The course loops twice for the half marathoners, so the relay runners just do one loop each. I had the 2nd leg, and ended up pacing with another runner who was doing the half, and I was able to keep up with her the entire way, which pleased me no end I can tell you. It was just nice, being able to run with someone and chat about 'stuff', and my relay partner is besties with the other runner so it was easy to motivate each other along. I paced at average 11:40 min/mile, which for me, under 12 min/mile is fantastic!
Can I say this as well? - when I saw the photos of me crossing the finish line, I was pleased to note that I am looking more and more normally sized! I don't know what I weigh at this point, as I'm avoiding the scale for a while yet, but... at Costco they have running skorts in stock and I bought one in size small... because by summer it will fit.
Another note: I got a new pair of Altra shoes, this time with a skosh less cushioning than my other shoes, and so far I'm not having any problems. Amazing what a little weight loss can do for a girl's confidence.
Robyn

[nayasmom]

New pics! My brother and his wife visited from SC a couple weekends ago and we were out for a walk with my dogs, who do not care to pose for photos.

[nayasmom]

The times, they are a-changin'.
I'm going through some changes, albeit kicking and screaming, with much dragging of feet and so on. It is what it is. I've never been particularly motivated TO change, even while admitting that, yes, it must happen.
For the first time in my career, I am late in renewing my licenses, and so I am not allowed to work until the renewal is posted online. It sounds pretty cold, but I could care less right this moment. Because... change.
I've been talking about changing jobs for a while now, at least 2 years, and I haven't actually done anything toward that end. Oh, yes, I wrote a new resume and submitted it for per diem hours somewhere but that facility wasn't interested because I was dictating my availability and (I knew from past experience) the facility doesn't like that in even a per diem employee. Some places are like that - they want you to be available 24/7 or not at all, and so... they don't get the pleasure of my company.
Tomorrow starts a new run streak. Even though there wasn't an official one for March, I have still managed to run every day this month, just haven't logged every day's distance. Tomorrow also officially starts marathon training for me. I ran 6.5 miles at the beginning of this month, so I know I can do that distance, but that was on a flat course at sea level. Sunday I'm doing a trail run with the running group, and that day's distance will be 4~6 miles, -ish, so I will try to do the longer distance.
I would like to recommit to Spud Fit starting tomorrow as well. Each succeeding month after Spudtember I have been introducing other foods more and more, until I can't really say I'm still doing Spud Fit, and I've had a corresponding slowdown in weight changes, and I'm not done releasing excess fat, so I need to get that going again. While I increase my mileage over the next few months, I'll also be needing more calories, so if I can get back into the mentality of cooking lots of spuds per day, enough to have left over to the next day, I'll be in a better place nutritionally. The only exception I must make is to keep the chia in my diet. I finally found a squeeze bottle that can hold chia water and fit into a pocket of my hydration vest, and I want to start using chia for on-the-run energy nutrition. If you are interested, the bottle is made by Squeasy, check them out. I emailed them and thanked them for developing a product that was originally intended for kids but makes a perfect workout nutrition container for those who eat literally on the run, and they were happy to hear that there is a potential untapped market in the endurance world. It's all about networking, building relationships, and outreach, isn't it?
A colleague posted about her mother needing a heart valve replacement procedure. It was like they needed to go buy a new car, nothing to it, had to be done, etc. While everyone else posted about prayers for survival, good recovery, etc, I posted a link to Dr. Esselstyn's site. Which was duly ignored. The cartoon is right on, about the doctor who tells the patient of the process to do open heart surgery vs the plant-based diet and the patient says that the plant based diet sounds too extreme. WTF, right? It's TRUE. Most people who eat SAD think of a plant based diet as extreme, while life-threatening open-heart surgery is an everyday occurrence, like getting a cavity filled or a prescription for eyeglasses. Is that what society has come to, now? Drugs and surgeries over simple changes to one's diet?
The sun is shining right now but the high winds make running outside about as attractive an idea as riding a bicycle in a snowstorm, so I am headed to the gym for a treadmill run instead.
Robyn

[nayasmom]

I was on a self-destructive path for a few weeks, and ended up making myself so very sick once again.
I've pulled back finally, and for the past 9 days have been more compliant on Spud Fit than I had been all year. It's not a very long year yet, either, so that's saying quite a lot.
Thank goodness for eating badly, to remind me that I do not wish to die a horrible, lingering end of life filled with pain and nausea. Have I learned my lesson finally? Probably not. But if I can go years without incident, then I'm doing alright.
I've kept up with the run streak, so there's that. My road has cleared to just past 1.5 miles up, and each time I run there's a little less back-and-forth I have to do. And there's nothing wrong with that, except that it's such a work-out to go up and down, then up and down again. But I've been able to go out on the trails more often and that's also challenging. The last time, we ended up slogging through flooded areas and my feet went numb with the cold. I also scrambled over a felled tree and balanced across two logs. These are things I would never have chosen to do on my own, but I was with a group and I didn't want to be the party pooper. I survive to tell the tale!
As for family matters, being there for my sister while she navigates the dark tunnels of divorce has helped me as well. She's gained some wisdom over the years, and it seems to have been opportune that she contacted me when she did. It's been nice.
And.. bread. Bread is one of those foods I can never have as a regular part of my diet. it will have to remain something I plan to binge on, because there's no being responsible when it comes to bread. I've done all the lying about "this is just for sandwiches" or "I'll just have some of this with my soup". If I buy or make bread, it's because I plan to dive in with both feet and keep swimming till I've reached the far crust.

Robyn

[nayasmom]

What a weekend. Saturday I was out on the trails to do some grooming in preparation for the trail race next month. There were two spots where a creek overran the road, and snow further up, meaning we took an hour to dig the truck out and decided after that to hike in to the work area. That was a mile one way, with some snow scrambling and crawling over downed trees. What is it with me, trails, and downed trees? But it was a great day for being out in the woods, with great company, and we got a lot accomplished. I go back next weekend for some more grooming.
Sunday I ran the Masters 4 Miler and not only did I run my best time ever, officially 9:58 min/mile, but I was first in my age group!! Admittedly, I was the only runner in my age group, but still... !!
Friday I volunteered to hand out race packets for Saturday's trail race, which I am participating in as well, the 4.5 mile course. It will be interesting to see what kind of time I post, as trails are more demanding than asphalt. Plus, there are hills involved, among other things. It's all good.
I've been mostly compliant with Spud Fit this month. Not perfect, but I've made my spuds as boring as I possibly can, and so far I'm sticking with it. I peel and bake a pan of spuds and then eat them salted and right now with a squirt of lemon or lime juice. Once or twice a week I'll add a sweet potato in there. I think I was noncompliant twice, but I've maintained spuds for at least 2 meals a day on those occasions, so I consider it still a win.
I do not know my weight at this point. I may weigh myself at the end of Po-May-to.
I'm glad to report, nonetheless, that in photos I look like a normally-sized person now. Yah, I still have some squishy bits, and my waist is still MIA, but I've really come a far piece, with just a little ways yet to go. It's in sight.

Robyn

[nayasmom]

Well, I posted my best trail time yesterday at the 4.5 mile race. It turned out to be a gorgeous day for a run in the mountains, and there were people I knew in the running community participating in all 3 distances. I finished in 50 minutes and change, and last year I finished in an hour and 2 minutes and change, but last year I stopped often to take pictures, too. Even so, I'm really pleased with the improvement in my pacing.
Wed I went on a 6 mile hike and by the time I finished I had two huge blisters on the pads of my feet. One of them was bloody. Thankfully, yesterday I didn't have any problems, even though the bloody one hadn't reabsorbed completely yet. The skin never broke.
I also stopped by the local pet supply boutique and the owner readily agreed to supply goody bags for all the runners who registered their dog for the trail race in 3 weeks. I've got requests out to the grocery store and one of the pizza places, and hopefully will have a "yes" answer sometime next week.
My knee feels completely recovered so this week I'll resume my training for the marathon in August. Instead of competing against the clock, I need to go back to being sensible about running, at least when I'm going downhill, and focus on taking care of my body. I need to be strict with scheduling longer-distance days as well.
There was some thankfully warm weather but now we are in a cold weather pattern, so once again the wood stove is merrily working along to keep my sensitive body going. This should be the last week ... she says with great hope welling in her heart.
Robyn

[nayasmom]

If someone doesn't want to hear opinions that might conflict with his/her hoped-for responses, then that someone should just privately message the yes-people in his/her inner circle. I think if I ask a question, "What would you do?", I should be prepared for any response, without taking them personally if they seem to go against what I want to hear.

If I don't agree, I don't call that person "passive-aggressive" or "judging" or "negative" or (fill in the blank).
That would be kind of juvenile of me. "People want to hear good news about their bad choices". How true that is!!

On the brighter side, today is significantly warmer than yesterday, and will improve over the next week. I look forward to not having to bundle up in heavy clothes just to feel decently warm. I'm going out for a run shortly, with an eye to at least 4 miles, 5 or 6 if I feel like it.

Oh, and I came in 4th in my age group Sunday, out of 11 runners. It would totally suck if I came in 4th and I was the only female in my age group ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Robyn

[sksamboots]

You sound good. Nice work around here. Keep it up

[nayasmom]

I'm in something of a quandary. I got so sick of taking at least an hour to not just peel but also gouge out all the black and yucky bits from my spuds prior to baking, I just stopped. I have no trouble eating just spuds; it's the extraordinarily long prep time that is bringing me down, and it sucks.
So I was at Costco and tried a bag of their gigantic size russets, and I don't like the way they cook up or taste. Then I went to the grocery and got a bunch of yukon gold spuds, and I don't like the way they taste either.
Grrrr. I really like my spuds. I prefer to have my regular spuds, just without all that need to trim and gouge and whittle every single steenkin' one.



This is me after a speedwork clinic in 100* weather, albeit entirely shaded thank goodness. I managed an average pace of around 11:30 min/mile, which is excellent considering we had some walk breaks built in. My pace partner wasn't feeling the spirit, so we walked probably much more than we should have, and in spite of all that, I still managed a decent pace for me. My fastest pace was under 9 min/mile, so I'm really happy about that. My training runs are slower, but my pace at races is really great compared to where I was even a year ago.
I seem to continue to shrink, although my weight seems to insist on hovering around 140 lbs... and I am hoping that with the advent of warmer weather, I will start to release belly fat. Belly and back and butt fat. And yes even some boob fat.
Robyn

[nayasmom]

Man, what happened to the time??!! Have I been asleep?
Some updates: I finally recognized the need to start taking an antidepressant, so I've been on zoloft since November. I think I'm doing alright. I tried to convince myself I was good to go, and tried to get off it, and spent two weeks in a wild and crazy binge that was actually dangerous health-wise. I stayed plant based but I went crazy with the high-fat shit, acknowledging that something had much more fat than is good for me and not caring. I ate whatever I could get my hands on. It was ugly, and scary, because I felt like I had absolutely no control.
So, I went back on, doubled the dose, and now I'm getting lots and lots of sleep. I have to get therapy in addition, to essentially justify the meds.
Meanwhile, I'm up in weight enough that my running clothes are snugger than ever. My doctor says my gain hasn't been significant, and I believe her, but even a little bit is disastrous for me.
But.
I've increased my trail running a lot, and last summer had an epic fall which resulted in slight concussion and a black eye. I also tore up my palms enough to have to wear gloves at work. A friend called it paying my trail dues. I sure did!!
I ran my first trail half marathon in October, and it was pretty slow but I got it done and I'm thrilled that I live to tell the tale. This October I'm returning to attempt the full trail marathon. Here's hoping! I've also become more involved with a trail race series near where I live, since the race director is a friend and running partner. She's also an ultra runner so I am challenged a lot, but I still enjoy the times we get together, whether it's to check out a possible race route, marking a race route, cooking for the race, running in a race, etc. Earlier this month I had an aid station at the halfway point for a 100K trail race. Several runners did not finish, much to their chagrin. It seems to be a thing that people decide how challenging a race will be according to total elevation gains/losses. This race is pretty mild in that respect, so there were some experienced runners who thought they would just knock it out of the park... and they didn't finish. The loop where my aid station was... I ran that thing like 4 times (7.75 miles), and there's a mud pit, two creek crossings, a scree hill, and basically a rough logging road that got really rocky in places. The entire race was like that - add in dry, warm, dusty and dirty weather, very few level areas, and some elevation, and it is humbling.
In 2019 I will have my 60th birthday. I'd like to run a 50K. We'll see.
I met my sister and her youngest in Reno earlier this year, to go rock hounding. I had a great time, and I'm glad that we have worked out most of our conflicts, and come to a place where we are who we are and it's okay. Her two oldest have weddings this year - one in May that I was not able to attend, and one in September that I will attend. It's going to be a big thing for me, since I still have social anxiety, and it's certainly not helped by the weight gain. I'm excessively conscious of that, but I guess it's understandable, since I'm scared of going backwards. I don't ever want to be where I was several years ago, but the past taught me never say never, because once I say never again, I'm a big fat liar.
I guess this is a good place to stop the update for the now. Not sure what I'm going to do. Well, I'm sure I'm going to make a nice big pot of chili (McDougall complaint of course!!) to test out recipes for a post-race meal next month. I rediscovered what a gem Grocery Outlet is... I find all kinds of great fabulous deals on produce and canned goods. 99c each for 28 oz cans of peeled whole tomatoes. New culinary secret: Use those tomatoes for EVERYthing. They are packed in tomato sauce, not water, so whatever you make with it automatically tastes better. I made black bean and corn salsa with it, and at the last race, everyone raved over it and they ran out. I have an immersion blender so that makes short work of crushing the little buggers. You'll thank me later.
Robyn