Dissolution's Solution

[nicoles]

What a lousy day, Dissolution! I am sorry to hear it.


At least you know you turn to treats when you are upset - you probably already knew that, though, and that you have the habit of take out your anger at others (wife) on yourself (eating poorly.)

Knowledge is power!

And feeling crappy after eating that way? Best deterrent against future slips. I did it a bunch when I first started, but the pain was never worth it.


Dude, though, your wife is a piece of work!

[VegSexy]

Dis, you want to switch weeks with me? I don't know which is worse my crazy family or yours.

I'm so sorry you have to endure this stuff. Some people just don't make our journeys easy. Those that we want to cheer us on with our own races/battles/whatevers just can't. What's up with that?

So, you ate some chocolate and some cookies. I can think of worse - how about a slice of pizza like I did last night after driving 2 hours from work to pick up my sister and brother to see my mom in a rehab center?? Things we do to cope. Remember when it used to be a quart of Ben and Jerrys or a couple of beers? Those days are long gone for me.

I guess the best thing is to keep our goals in mind and just "do" what we gotta "do" to get us through the day.

Just remember to forgive yourself, there's always tomorrow.

Peace out.

[lifeisgreat]

I wish you could go to the Mcdougall 10 day program. He would then be your Dr. And only a phone call a way.

Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth has helped me to understand difficult people and why they want to fight.

In my opinion you need to stop going in the cage with the lion. Stand out side the cage and be a compassionate observer.

Good luck

[carollynne]

oh my! sure sounds awful, but married life is like that. My HBP is still with me too, however my pulse is not that low!! ever, whenever I take it! sounds odd, but who knows?
hope all is better by now, I am going to a vegan pot luck tonight, and I do need it!

[kirstykay]

Sorry to hear about your continuing struggles with your wife. It's not easy living with that everyday. But, you are to be commended in continuing on your journey toward health despite her. She may never change, but you are only responsible for you. Don't be too hard on yourself for your slip-up. You are doing great!

SO......what did the cardiologist say??????????

[Riva]

Vegans are baby killers? Where did she get that.
Have you considered stopping arguing with her?
Most of the problems between couples is that we each have to BE RIGHT.

Riva

[Adrienne]

Your wife doesn't believe smoking is related to lung cancer? Huh?!! Is she aware that the tobacco companies no longer deny the connection?
I wouldn't waste my energy arguing the science behind your diet to a person who doesn't believe in science.

And she told you to leave? That's rough! If she is not careful one day she might drive you to do just that.

Hope you had a better day today.

[didi]

Dis, Maybe you should ask your wife why she chose to marry you out of all the people in the world. Was it so she could have someone to dine out with? You don't need a marriage partner for that. Anyone will do. Was it to have someone to cook for? She didn't need you for that, anyone would be happy to eat the meals prepared by a really good cook. Was it because she liked your looks? I am sure there are lots of men whose looks she would like. Was it because she thought you were the type of person who was so narrow and so lacking in resources that you would never explore new ideas and would be forever locked into one way of acting and thinking? And thus always predictable. That type of person probably has some sort of psychological disorder.

And did you marry her because she was a very good cook? There are lots of very good cooks, (and good restaurants) in the world. Did you marry her because you two looked like a matched set and any change in her would nullify the promises you two made to each other? Did you marry her expecting that she would never have an opinion different from yours or discover new things about herself and the world?

Or did each of you choose the other because you saw some indefinable something in each other that was unique and wonderful and worthy of love and respect and long term commitment? Something bonding the two of you which would be unexplainable to the rest of the world but which each of you knew intuitively that the other understood?

Cosmically speaking, what each of you chooses to eat should be of such miniscule import that it isn't even worth talking about.

Didi

[carollynne]

Dis, how are you now? Is your BP and pulse ok now? I am sure it was just a fluke and only a snapshot in one day.
you poor wifey is desperate for your attention, and yet it surly seems that she gets a ton of it. Likes to compete with you on some unhealthy level, sounds like so as long as she is not as sick as you are, all is fine. Now you are getting so healthy and she is not... a new playing field for her!!
Another angle underneath this storyline can be: and I do not mean to offend, so will apologize in advance right now... sorry!
Do you have a ton on life insurance and she wants to get it? just a thgt here, rather macabre, but why does she want you to continue on a path that was clearly killing you and the proof was in your hospital records, all your family medical records, and your mirror, the scale, and wow I just do not understand. But it sounds like a mental illness is present and she is trying so hard to manipulate you with all the emotional stuff and all tempting cookies and candies around the house. Isn't she a diabetic and shouldn't be eating any of that either??
bottom line is that we can only fix ourselves and pray hard for the others in our lives, even spouses. It is hard to accept change without feeling threatened, but you are so happy, why isn't she happy for you now? You cannot fix her, only yourself.
Hey vegan pot luck was so grand, and we are going to start having very close to me,next month!! woo-hoo!
One more thing about spouses... my DH is trying to be so supportive of me, and not buy any candy, cookies, potato chips, all my downfalls.... I would buy them now and then, for him, and he is leaving them all alone! then I threw them out. Our grocery bill amounts have not changes a bit! it is all going up at stores anyway, have you noticed that...
I just made up the bestest meatless meatloaf. It is made with cracked wheat and oatmeal, and threw in some grouts too. It came from the low-fat vegan email wkly. i wonder if you get that particular wkly update from that source?? a lot of nice recipes from them for free..... This recipe was from the Let Them Eat Vegan Cook Book, my wonderful great #1 son said that it was the best loaf I have made, of course DH just shook his head, but had a big salad and some spinach made with a bit of rice vingear. So it goes here. This loaf looks so much like the real meatloaf.... cool, and I will be making it again.

[Dissolution]

nicoles That combination of sweet and fat (chocolate) is my biggest weakness.

VegSexy Sorry to hear about your rough week. Your mention of pizza, made me think of several years ago, when I was on the atkins diet. I was out of town and went to a pizza place and ordered a pizza. I scraped the cheese and meat off, and only ate that part. Now I would do the same thing, except only eat the crust and the sauce. Funny huh.

lifeisgreat bear in mind, when I say we argue, the conversation is still about 80% her.

The book looks interesting. I may have to check it out.

kirstykay Haha, in short, the cardiologist said, wear gloves.

Riva Occasionally there will be stories like this in the news. http://tinyurl.com/dxzzg5w The baby dies, the parents were irresponsible, but also happened to be vegan, so that makes it a big story. Honestly, before I watched Forks Over Knives, that's about all I knew about vegans.

What's funny, is if I don't argue with her, she takes my silence as arrogance, and accuses me of always needing to be right. Even if I haven't said a word. I guess I just look arrogant...

Adrienne The linchpin of her argument is if smoking was really dangerous it would be illegal.

The other thing that keeps coming up, is I decided to go on this diet, without talking it over with her. To which my only response is, she's just mad she didn't get a chance to talk me out of it before I started.

didi One of the reasons I married her, is because I thought she was a strong and independent woman. But lately, if she says tomato and I say tomahto, I get accused of being over-bearing and domineering. I'm pretty good at agreeing to disagree, we've done that on many things over the course of our marriage, I think all good couple have to. Lately though, that doesn't seem to be an option.

carollynne Haha, nope no life insurance. I didn't have any prior to my heart attack at 38, and if you have a heart attack at 38, and then get diagnosed with diabetes, you will NOT get life insurance.

Glad to hear about your vegan pot luck. The vegans I met at the FoK screening were talking about getting one together. I'd love to go, but doubt I would, at least not while the wife is insane.

I get emails from [email protected], I'll have to check into that cookbook. I'm still not much for doing recipes, but I'd like to have a few in my repertoire for guests and meat eaters to try. Do you have a link to that meatless loaf?
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The cardiologist said not to worry about the low pulse rate, unless I was getting dizzy. He also didn't seem to have a problem with me cutting my dose in half for my lisinopril. I either have a really good cardiologist or a really bad one...lol

The deal my wife suggested was, if she quits smoking, I paint the house. So we went out last night and bought 10 gallons of paint, and accessories. Then we went to dinner, at our favorite Italian place. I had penne contadina in marinara, it was very good, a little oily, but not too bad. The wife, who is not much of a drinker, ordered a bottle of wine. She probably drank 3/4's of it. After we got done she was clearly tipsy and wanted to go to a local bar we've been to a few times. We walked in, didn't know anybody, they asked for a cover charge, so we decided to leave. Then she started in about wanting cigarettes. I refused to argue with her after she had been drinking, but she definitely went on a tiraid. I refused to buy her cigarettes, I told her if she wanted some, she had to get one of our sons to take her, because she was putting a large portion of the blame on them for continuing to smoke.

I unloaded the car, while I was carrying stuff in, she slipped into the drivers seat and took off. She was back in 3 or 4 minutes, probably just went around the block of something. I'm getting tired of this.

Right now, for me at least, I'm just trying to hang on til Memorial Day. My hope is our friends see the changes, listen to what I have to tell them, and then talk some sense into the wife. More than likely though, they'll think I've gone off the deep end and wish I'd done something sensible like getting gastric bypass surgery.

Guess I'll go paint now. I'll keep my end of the bargain, even if she doesn't.

[fulenn]

Glad to hear that your low BP wasn't a problem and really good that your meds are being cut! Sorry that things continue to be negative regarding your wife and this food stuff. There are so many very important things in life that this seems petty to me.

You are to be commended for doing what most people can't or won't do: seeing a need in your life and making the changes necessary to fix it. You did not choose the road most traveled, and it has been a good thing. I hope that you hold your head up and feel proud of your hard work. Show the world the obvious results of your endeavor, maybe some people will ask about the not obvious changes. I don't even know you and I am amazed that you have stayed with this even with all of the opposition encounter!

Have a great weekend!
Fulenn

[Adrienne]

You wife drove around drunk? Did I interpret that correctly? Sounds like you have a problem on your hands. As I pointed out a long time ago, you and wife have issues that clearly go way beyond your diet. (I'm sure you are aware of this.) I wouldn't count on your friends to be able to convince your wife to change her mind. She seems rather set in her ways, at least for now.

Good to hear that you were able to cut back on your meds and that you didn't feel the need to binge on junk food after the incident with your wife.

[lifeisgreat]

My heart aches for you having to live like that. I was married to a very difficult man. I got therapy and learned to accept him for who he was. In the end he had a affair and never took responsibility for his actions. I still feel the results of that relationship 15 years later even tho I grew spiritually while I was in the relationship.

Be true to yourself. You never know what the end of the story will be.
I am so sad that many people throw away the good things in their instead of celebrating the blessings ( like a good man)

[carollynne]

HI Dis, so glad to hear that your heart doc is ok with that pulse. You are doing just so great on this WOE.. I imagine that she is just a wee bit ( that may be an understatement of the yr) jealous since you do not need her so much. But who could put up with all these histrionics I ask?? YOU do not need to put up with her at all. Move out and get it over with. But love can be a 4 letter word and make us all do odd things. it may all work itself out and then after her hospitalization for diabetes compilations etc, she may see the light! Go out and have some fun!! you are too young to live like this!!

http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2012/04/dr ... -loaf.html

above is teh link to that meatless meatloaf. Pretty good.

[VegSexy]

Hello Dis - Quick note here regarding painting. My BF and I purchased a home from a couple that were very, very heavy smokers. About four packs a day. Since the nicotine was so bad - one could see nicotine outlines of pictures on the walls - the painter suggested to have the walls sanded down and then have a coat or two of Rustolium's Coverstain, followed up with two coats of latex - which we did. The cigarette smell is gone and we have not noticed any nicotine bleeding through the paint. The job was completed this January.

Coverstain is expensive and has very loud smell, it did the trick. We're really quite happy with paint job and recommend the process - just wear a mask or a ventilator - that stuff is toxic.

Just thought I would pass that along...