MmmCarbs wrote:I notice what happens when I get in these "forget about my healthy eating plan" moments is really frustration, anger & discouragement. There's a lot of that at my job. It almost feels like I'm punishing myself for not being able to get what I need there (which would be a feeling of accomplishment, being heard, being valued), so I sort of throw in the towel on my self-care plan. What the heck? Is it like I'm telling myself I don't deserve nutritious truly tasty food?
Wow! I think this is really significant.
I think the proliferation of junk food at work places in recent years is an attempt to make up for the lack of "a feeling of accomplishment, being heard, being valued" in so many jobs.
I had a job where I was completely uncredited for my labor -- I would pass on my work to a higher up person. If it wasn't up to snuff, you could be sure I'd get grief for it. But if it was good, the higher up person took credit and I'd never hear about it again. Maybe a few months later I'd get, "Oh, that project? They really loved it. They're giving us Such and Such project. Oh, by the way, where's the blah de blah de blah? I thought you were going to finish that last week!"
Oh, workplace misery.
I know for me, maybe there'd be a bowl of those hershey kisses with the almonds in them or something, and if I'd just been criticized my stupid reptile brain would be all like, Hey, TREAT! That'll make me feel better! And for a very few moments it would work.
And the larger scheme of it would be exactly as you say -- it would be easy for me to give up on my commitment to myself to eat better because I felt undeserving of that commitment.
I think you're right that acknowledging your feelings is what you need to do. But I think it's also important to find other ways of feeling good about yourself.
Do you do any kind of crafty or creative things? Of course, having a job that makes you happy is the best thing, but if you can't, having a really fun outside activity can really help. I got through a bad time doing a craft and selling it online (I should do it again). I discovered that I NEED to feel like I'm accomplished and that people appreciate my work. If I wasn't getting it at work, I had to get it somewhere else.