SunshineDay's Diary: 'Nothin' but Blue Skies....".

[SunshineDay]

Thank you, Starchbeet, for that most helpful link! Yes, my mind has been on the upcoming holidays (and how quickly they approacheth) so I've bookmarked the link and know it will come in VERY handy....

Thanks also so much for the nice comment, Nancy -- and indeed, it's really nice to be able to see what I can tell is a slimmer face! Fun also when other people notice the weight loss -- so far it's only been a few of my acquaintances, but I think in part it's due to a few things. For one, it's chilly, and I'm back to loose layers and thick sweaters, but also....my weight loss since starting the program 7 weeks ago shed pounds that had sneakily crept on over the past year and a half or so. Very happy to have them gone (!), though ultimately, it really only puts me back to a weight that I maintained for well over a decade or more and which most people 'know' me at anyway. I'm still several pounds away from new, 'unchartered' territory so to speak, heh -- however I feel patient and confident that I'll be there before too terribly long....

On that note I'm glad to say that my 'barometer' jeans that were hopelessly too tight to wear earlier in the summer, but had gradually became 'zippable' as the weeks went past ....are now going beyond 'zippable', and actually heading ever-so-slightly into the 'loose' category -- feeling them getting a little 'gappy' at the waistline and considerably less snug about the hips and thighs. And ahhhhh, it's a GREAT feeling indeed....

In any case, it's been a busy week for me, and today no exception, so I will make this a quick food update. Over the course of the last several days my meals have been on-plan, including such things as cooked oatmeal with added Roasted Buttercup Squash, Crock-pot Roasted Root Veggies (Carrots, Potatoes, Parsnips, Rutabagas, Turnips) topped with Mushroom Gravy, Ethiopian-style Collard 'Gomen', plus a most delicious Lebanese Red Lentil Stew I made yesterday. Richer foods that I've partaken in lately include a VERY small amount of peanut butter (just a touch of which I added to the leftover Gomen to help counteract the bitterness of the greens), a few thin shmears of the commercial hummus my husband picked up (which I added to my potatoes), plus a small bit of avocado (like a spoonful, with which I topped my potato), and a slice or two of my spouse's veggie lunchmeat. I also finished up the last of my loaf of homemade ff ww bread earlier in the week, indulged in a taste of the white sourdough bakery bread my daughter brought home yesterday, plus I also finished off two white bread buns in the last few days that were sitting around here needing to be used up (non dairy and .5 grams of fat per bun), eating them with some of my 'Mary's Burgers' that I froze the surplus of a few weeks back (I do feel as though I've likely consumed more bread than is truly optimal this past week -- will try to cut back this coming week and next)....

Today if I can get my act together, I am intending to make that big chopped Veggie/Pasta/Bean Dressing recipe that member MixedGrains posted in the forums last week or so. I know it requires some significant chopping and prep time though, so we'll see how it goes...!

[SunshineDay]

Well it seems I've been a little on the quiet side here with my journal. I guess now after nearly two months of being on plan I really feel as though I've found my McDougall footing, with it all becoming increasingly more comfortable and 'automatic' for me. I'm not having to actually 'think' about and ponder it nearly so much anymore -- with it all feeling more like habit in fact, and that can only be a good thing...! But an update is due in any case....

I've been happily sticking to the program since September 1st. My weight loss must be becoming more noticeable to others now, since I've gotten a few recent comments from friends and acquaintances. One thing I was really holding out for though, was for my extended family to notice. You know how when you really know someone well, and see them often, you might not actually be 'seeing' them....? Well I received 'Have you lost weight?' comments from both my sister and mom in just the last few days, and as such it's another 'barometer' moment for me. I figure it must be becoming more apparent to others then (and not just myself) -- and it's all the encouragement i need...

Another thing that's highly encouraging for me is that I had my blood pressure taken during an appointment yesterday. The last several times I'd had it done my nurse had given me a stern look and remarked that it was getting too high. Especially the last time (about three months ago), she frowned and cryptically commented that maybe I'd better make an appointment with my primary care physician to get it checked out (I didn't). Well, I can't recall what my numbers were then, but yesterday she told me my numbers were 135/90. Which, while I believe is still a bit on the higher side, must be somewhat improved because I got no stern look and no comment. In fact when I prompted her as to the numbers (because I can never remember what they mean exactly) she replied, 'Well, maybe a little high but not too terrible...'. Score!!! There may be a ways to go yet, but proof enough to me I'm headed in the right direction.....!

So I've been quietly plugging away this week, eating the foods that I know are health-supporting, while avoiding those foods I know are not. I went to a catered event the other night for example, where there were cheese and cracker platters, and cake, and trays heaped high with decorated, iced cookies. But I bypassed all of these and zoomed-in instead on the raw veggies and fresh fruit (and avoiding the dips of course). And what a treat they were -- the grape tomatoes soooo especially yummy, and the strawberries and watermelon really surprisingly tasty to me for being somewhat out of season. I definitely think my taste buds have altered a bit in these last few months! In any case, immediately after this event I had to go to yet another, where there was veggie pizza (which I likely would have been all "Omg, free food!!!!" and inhaled not all that long ago...), plus where someone handed me a homemade, pink-frosted cupcake (for Breast Cancer month). I thanked her, broke off the SMALLEST amount to politely sample and to complement her, then discretely wrapped it up in a napkin to take home for my daughter. Yes I know others have different ways of going about these things, but this way works for me, at least for now anyway.....

Last night I made a soup for dinner, the recipe for which I found here on the forums -- a MWL-acceptable Broccoli Soup (since we had quite a bit of fresh broccoli in the fridge that needed to be used up). That, along with a loaf of homemade bread I pulled from the freezer (of which I myself ate only the teensiest bit of because it was from before starting all this and likely had oil in it) made for a pleasant meal the whole family could enjoy -- perfect for a rainy, chill Autumn night .....

[SunshineDay]

Yesterday was my official two-month McDougall anniversary (woo hoo!), and still humming pleasantly along. So much so in fact, that I decided to join Mike's 'Holiday Excursion' forum challenge, which began yesterday. Again, it felt timely -- after two months of (re)adjustment to the regular program, whereby I did indulge in occasional bread products, sweeteners (honey in my tea, etc), and pasta, I felt ready to delve into attempting the transition to mostly MWL for these next couple of months. The long, dark, cold winter season and its' holidays (and corresponding goodies) have always posed a challenge for me -- but I'm happy to have this challenge as a nice little reminder of what I'm trying to accomplish here and a tool to help keep me from straying from the straight and narrow. In any case I'm feeling comfortable and confident about it all this morning -- having my breakfast potatoes nuking in the microwave as I type (yummy) to eat before heading to the gym this a.m......

[SunshineDay]

Gosh, it's been nearly a week already since I joined Mike T.'s Holiday Excursion (which began on the 1st). And I'm pleased to say that it's all been going well....! I do feel like I'm eating lots (and lots! Too much?), but pretty much all of it MWL compliant and therefore 'legal'. And I can feel my clothes getting looser all the time, so I know I must be going in the right direction. In any case, I've been keeping a careful record of what I've been consuming during this challenge in my post on Mike T.'s 'Holiday Excursion FOOD LOG' thread (which can be seen here: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=25461 -- for anyone interested, my post is on page 2)....

One small thing I have noticed lately however..., is that I have reason to believe I may be currently experiencing a bit of overgrowth of Candida -- just some itchy skin stuff going on that's more of an annoyance/aggravation than anything else. But it caught me a little by surprise, because these last 10 weeks or whatever it's been since I started McDougalling again I've drastically slashed my sugar consumption -- and I mean drastically...! As in, almost none of the refined stuff for sure -- nil, zip, zero. But then again, I've been happily tossing russet potatoes down my gullet until they're coming out of my ears, so could that possibly be fueling a flare up....? (we've all heard the 'potatoes turn to sugar' mantra).... Well before I do anything drastic (like get any OTC meds, or gawd forbid, stop eating potatoes (!) ), I'm going to try my trusty Garlic Cure -- that is, upping my raw garlic intake significantly in order to help make my innards an inhospitable environment for any potential creepy-crawlies ....

Anyway, back to the Challenge, as I said, I'm really pleased with how it's gone so far. I haven't been terribly tempted by off-plan foods -- really the only occasions that I might have been tempted, were a few times this past week when I was caught getting pretty hungry but without anything cooked or ready-to-eat at hand. But I think I've solved that problem for the time being though, since yesterday while I had time I baked up a bunch of potatoes for grabbing, as well as making a huge amount of homemade Bean/Oat/Veg Burgers (most of which I will keep on hand in the freezer)....

The burgers solved a two-fold problem -- I needed more quick meal options, but I also had leftovers piling up in the freezer that needed to be eaten, or otherwise recycled into something else to be eaten (because we are on a tight budget and as such I maintain a zero-tolerance household 'no-waste' food policy). I enjoy reading Melody Polakow's blog, 'Melomeals: Vegan on $3.33 a Day' (http://melomeals.blogspot.com/). Although she's not McDougall (sadly. Really wish she was!) she's still quite passionate about Veganism, cooking, and healthful food and eating -- plus I really appreciate the frugal spin she puts on things. Well she's always making really delectable-looking veggie burgers out of her leftovers (leftover hummus, soup, you name it), and so I was inspired to try it for myself. Therefore yesterday I thawed several leftover containers from the freezer (of soup, misc veggies, refried beans), added some cooked white beans and oats, plus some spices -- letting it all chill overnight before shaping into patties and baking them this morning. I now have something like 3 to 4 dozen burger patties to munch on throughout this challenge, and to grab for quickie meals. And they are tasty, having sampled quite a few already today (and with all the burger trimmings -- onion, pickles, ketchup, mustard. Just no buns!).....

[SunshineDay]

So progress with Mike T's Holiday Excursion is humming right along. All going well, my clothes continuing to feel ever more comfy and loose and all while I feel positive and confident in my food choices. I'm finding it quite helpful keeping detailed track of what i've been consuming on the Excursion Food Log (mine's here, page 2: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=25461) -- though I don't need to see it to know I'm a bit lacking in the leafy green department (and heavy on the beans) this past week. We're slightly behind in our grocery shopping and as such have run out of most salad stuff. But, we intend to catch up tomorrow and i'll be stocking up again on Everything (greens, potatoes, squash and veggies of all kinds) when we do.....

Tomorrow night will likely be our family Pizza Night, our first since this Excursion began. Once again I've been thinking about how best to go about it -- shall I eat the pizza (homemade/WW crust/no oil--and no cheese on my portion) as I had been doing before the Excursion began? Or, just leave it? I've been flipping back and forth -- but...I think I've finally decided that I WONT be eating the pizza tomorrow night, in honor of the Excursion. Instead, I plan to experiment with making a 'crust' from hashbrown poatoes, topping it with the same veggie ingredients and eating that. I mean it's not as though I shall never have our Pizza again -- I can, and likely shall, once the Excursion is over. In the meantime I can handle this -- I know my world's not gonna melt just because I'm NOT partaking of the family Pizza these few months of the Holiday Challenge, heh ...).

In any case, I'll have more decision-making like this to consider next weekend when we visit relatives out of state. It ought not be too much of a stretch staying on plan during our stay, since these relatives are sort of on a health-kick themselves (South Beachers very much into fresh veg/fruit) who have always been respectful of our Vegetarianism. I know for a fact however that we'll be eating out at some point, which of course can be a little tricksy. In this case, for the last several visits the restaurant of choice has been the same place -- an Indian food buffet, which my family has always considered a real treat since we don't have such options in our little town. Lots of veggie items on the buffet -- but still, a decadent festival of oil and fat for sure. Well, we'll see how it goes -- just have to cross that bridge when it comes....

[blondie]

Your hashbrown pizza "crust" is a wonderful idea! Would you brown it on one side and then put the toppings on the brown side right in the skillet? or bake the hashbrowns after spreading htem out to make the crust, then topping?

[SunshineDay]

Thanks for asking, Blondie, and it's a very good question because at the time i wrote that I wasn't even sure myself! I guess I was figuring the latter -- maybe baking the hashbrowns good and crispy-like after spreading them in one of my cast iron skillets?? Perhaps then 'flipping' them if at all possible before adding the toppings and baking again? Well in any case I do aim to still try it one of these days, but as it turns out for last evening....our grocery shopping excursion in the late afternoon took longer than anticipated, and by the time we returned home it was after 5:00 and dark and I hadn't even started the pizza dough yet. I was all set to get going if DH and DD were still interested -- but in the end my husband suggested we just leave it this time around, owing to the time. So I have to say that was a bit of a relief really -- feeling like I was 'off the hook' as it were, heh. But family Pizza Night will come 'round again for sure -- so I'm only postponing my hashbrown crust experiment until then ....

[SunshineDay]

............

Meanwhile, nearly three years later.....

....SunshineDay here, back again to resurrect my sadly old and neglected journal (that I started nearly EXACTLY three years ago), after all this time.

So what's new since I last wrote in November of 2011....??? Well, to briefly recap, despite not writing in here, I had continued to tootle along contentedly for some time, following the plan reasonably well and enjoying the benefits of feeling great physically and psychologically, while maintaining a moderate weight loss, that, while there was still plenty more yet to lose, felt satisfying and good. However, somewhere along the line in the past year-and-a-half or so, I hit a rough patch that pointed me into a very gradual downward spiral. A spiral I couldn't quite shake myself out of, and that, gradually over time, eventually undid much of the hard work I'd previously accomplished....

I think i can actually trace it all back to a family vacation we took, back in June of 2013. We stayed in a major metropolitan area in another state, and had such an lovely, enjoyable time that I fully allowed myself to fall into the 'Vacation Mentality' trap. You know what I"m talking 'bout. Whereby one thoroughly enjoys one's vacation, but also allows oneself to take a little 'vacation' from one's eating plan. Yep, that would be me. I guess I saw it all as an excuse to indulge....because Hey, I was on VACAY, people! And so I did, throwing caution to the wind at the restaurants we ate at, and continuing to over-indulge even with the food we bought home to the rental with us from the Whole Foods around the corner (as a hard-core, long-time vegetarian I will never ever willingly eat meat again in my life, thank goodness -- however I can't quite conjure up the same conviction in regards to eggs, dairy and oil, and often do find these to be my downfall). I know I was figuring no problem... I'd just snap right back into my healthy, good eating habits once I was home again. Except of course, for a person with food addiction issues like myself, it doesn't necessarily work that way. Needless to say I never really did 'recover' from that vacation. The damage was done, and I found myself slipping more and more off track over the weeks and months, until a full year-and-a-half later I was pretty much back to where I'd started from.... going around with the top button of my too-tight size 18 jeans undone (hidden by my shirt of course) once again, and all while feeling hopelessly fat, tired, achy, aged, unhappy and out-of-control, once again....

But enough of that... because today I'm really happy to report that, as of the past 2.5 weeks, I've been fully back on the McDougall wagon once again, and feeling really, REALLY good about it. There was a significant life change that, in its way, helped matters -- that being the youngest of my two children going off to college. I do miss her terribly of course -- however on the bright side, I am also finding it really so much easier to control my own food habits when not cooking and shopping for others in the family who do not wish to be eating this way. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm finally coming to fully realize I really do have serious issues with compulsive eating. I guess it truly is a bit like being an alcoholic ...something I actually have absolutely ZERO problems with, mind. However, when it comes to food....??? In many ways I'm an addict just the same. But at least I'm glad to say I'm once again working on it, my food issues -- am currently in control and feeling the lovely sense of inner peace that being in better control of my eating brings. And I'm absolutely LOVING the food!!! In any case, it's good to be back, and I intend to journal again in here, when and how it suits me, just to help me keep track of my progress.....

[SunshineDay]

So as I said in my previous post, it's been 2.5 weeks since I climbed back aboard the McDougall bandwagon. My primary focus has been to cut out dairy/eggs/oil from my diet, and to just really nourish myself with yummy-yummy, healthful Veggies, of all ilk, as the bulk of my meals. For now my eating has probably been more reflective of the regular plan, though I know perfectly well from personal experience that I'm going to have to go more in the 'Maximum Weight Loss' direction to actually lose significant weight. Which is not a problem, I feel prepared to tweak things as I cruise along here. In the meantime, while I go through this initial transition of sorts i have been enjoying a few bread products, such as whole wheat, oil-free pita (that I've been topping with fat-free tomato sauce and veggies for quick ''pizzas'), Ezekiel Bread, and whole wheat tortillas for veggie fajitas. Consequently I can't report my weight loss these past few weeks is terribly dramatic -- still, I've been experiencing some other wonderful health benefits all the same. For one, my digestion has been much, much improved lately -- and when I say 'improved'', I mean more 'regular'. At the risk of TMI, suffice it to say I'm often plagued with the opposite condition -- so this pleasant change is both most welcome and a relief. Another change I"m noticing is a marked reduction in some chronic aches and pains that have been pestering me for the better part of this year. One in particular has been a bad case of tendonitis in my right achilles heel. I don't know what originally brought it on exactly, but it's been bothering me for a long while now (maybe even a full year), with a pain that's pretty severe -- as in, I swear I can feel the stiff, inflamed tendon fibers actually stretching, ripping and tearing with every step. Ouch!! And yet...???? I actually just realized today for the first time, that, after MONTHS of unrelenting chronic heel pain/swelling, the pain lately has been much, MUCH reduced. I'm talking almost to the point where I'm barely even noticing it now. Obviously there's a connection, and wow, what an eye-opener it is too. Just the encouragement I need to continue on this healthy path....!

[SunshineDay]

Thanks so much for the reply, Lynn! It really does feel wonderful to be back. Being in this proper head space gives me much peace of mind (as opposed to when I'm feeling out-of-control and at the mercy of my goofy, emotionally-driven food compulsions). And like I said, I'm really loving the food...!

Case in point, yesterday I made a big batch of mashed potatoes (all white potatoes with one sweet potato thrown in for color/sweetness), that I mashed with a little veg broth and a small amount of almond milk. I topped it with a mock "cheezy" sauce recipe I really like -- Bryanna Clark Grogan's "Melty Pizza Cheese" (http://veganconnection.com/recipes/pizza_cheese.htm Which I modify slightly by adding a pinch of dry mustard, to give it that 'tang'). It was so delicious and felt like such an indulgence....! I just may have to make more of it today, it was that good.

Yesterday for lunch I also whipped up some savory Indian chick-pea flour (AKA besan) pancakes, called Pudla (http://kitteekake.blogspot.com/search/label/POTM). I do love me some Pudla -- quite delicious and surely acceptable in that, while the chickpea flour may technically be a processed product, one can easily make the Pudla with no added oils or fats. Only I actually came about the making of them this week thanks to an earlier kitchen mistake. A few days ago I was whipping up the above-mentioned "Melty Cheeze" sauce to eat with oven-baked potato fries .... however instead of adding the two tablespoons of cornstarch (in the red Rumsford canister on my shelf) that the recipe calls for, I'd apparently reached for the BAKING POWDER (also Rumsford brand, and in a smaller but also red canister) by accident. You know where I'm going here -- two full TABLESPOONS of baking powder dumped into my Cheezy Sauce recipe -- how careless of me! I knew I had a problem on my hands when the contents of my blender were so bubbly (the baking powder reacting to the lemon juice no doubt). Well, I could have pitched the whole thing, but I'd already added all the other ingredients (from nutri yeast to garlic powder) and I'm not one to waste food. Instead, I decided to salvage my potion of failed cheezy sauce by adding besan flour, chopped cilantro and onion, a pinch of turmeric and cumin, and a little chopped tomato. I ended up with a lovely Pudla batter, which I stored in the fridge and used over the course of several days -- cooking them up on my well-seasoned griddle, and topping with picante sauce and a little extra chopped raw onion. Yummy stuff. So while I guess I wasn't actually PLANNING to make Pudla this week, here's to happy kitchen accidents....!

[SunshineDay]

If I"m counting correctly, I believe this weekend marks the 4th week since I began McDougalling, once again. I sit here, basking in the quiet of a Sunday morning, enjoying the sun and the cool, Fall-like temps, with a lovely cup of steaming decaf tea by my side at the ready. I'm enjoying the feelings of calm and contentedness I get when I know I'm more in control of eating habits and choices. It's a really, really pleasant feeling, and, because I'm finally not in denial about my compulsive, emotionally-driven food addiction issues these days, I refuse to take this calm for granted (because unfortunately I know only too well how easily it can all change. Like a switch in my brain gets flipped, some sort of trigger -- and before I know it I"m suddenly utterly weak and compulsive around Food again. A terrible, self-destructive pattern. I don't understand it, and I definitely don't like it. But after so many years (20+?) now of falling off the wagon, again and again, even after thinking I was finally and fully 'cured', I"m not going to be as arrogant as to think it can't happen again).....

I don't own a scale, so I can't definitively account for weight loss these past four weeks....however i can report there has been at least a little. Putting on my size 18 jeans this morning, I could comfortably button the top button, and actually wear them that way (after having to go around with the top button un-bottoned for pretty much all of this past year). Progress!!! (In addition to the continued reduction of my afore-mentioned chronic heel pain (due to tendonitis), which is a real blessing) Okay, no super dramatic weight loss happening here -- none of this "14 pounds in 2 weeks!" kind of stuff, but that's ok. I understand exactly where I could be tweaking things in order to get better weight-loss results. I know I've been indulging probably a little too heavily in some of the richer vegan fare, like processed wheat products (bread, pita, tortillas, even the homemade, oil-free Happy Herbivore Cocoa-Zucchini Muffins I made yesterday (a friend dropping off a huge garden zucchini in need of using up the other day)). But because I've been doing so well sticking to my vegan guns lately, it's all good. As an example, my husband ordered himself a huge, deep dish Chicago-style veggie pizza last weekend (which he ate over the course of several days). I dont even want to think how many pounds of cheese was in that thing (yuck). Well, he would have been happy to share, and it wasn't so long ago I would have found it EXTREMELY tempting to have some too -- but this time I didn't have ANY of his pizza, none at all. Instead I was happy to whip up a few of my little pita "pizzas" (pita topped with sauce/veggies and baked until hot), and was perfectly satisfied. I know, processed wheat products (even WW ones) can slow weight loss. But what can I say -- it was delicious to me and did the trick!

Another thing I did eat for several meals this past week, was Kittee Burns' (AKA 'Cake aker to the Stars') "Whopper Salad Rolls", which she creates using rice paper wrappers and collard greens, along with basic salad ingredients: http://kitteekake.blogspot.com/2014/08/ ... ecipe.html . I adore fresh, Vietnamese-style spring rolls (the unfried kind) -- but never had much luck making them at home. The wrappers always split and tore on me, and I'd end up with a mess on my hands. A tasty mess, but still...it all seemed like too much hassle. However Kittee's method of reinforcing the rice paper wrappers with collard greens to make them stronger really works! And so deliciously too. Of course, I understand I could just as easily simply eat all the ingredients as 'Salad', but somehow wrapping all of it into a 'Salad Roll Whopper' makes it all so much more fun and appetizing doncha know (I did make a little of her 'Peanut Dipping Sauce' as well, albeit using a lot less peanut butter than she calls for -- still, probably something else I should watch out for too).....

[SunshineDay]

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........Meanwhile, nearly SEVEN years later.....


"Sunny" here -- of SunshineDay's "Nothin' But Blue Skies" McDougall WFPB-NO Diary, resurrecting this old online journal, yet again. Hello! It's 2021, folks...!


So what do I have to say for myself after all these years...???


Well, quite a lot actually, and happy to do so. After years and years of struggle trying to coordinate my efforts to get on and stick to the Plan for any truly significant length of time...finally, FINALLY...., I'm beyond the moon to be able to report that nearly 4 years ago everything clicked for me, and I successfully lost something in the vicinity of 60 - 65 pounds (hard to say for certain the amount since I never really got an official start weight -- but I'm guessing I was probably something close to the 245-250 mark four years ago). A significant loss, for which I'm thrilled to have managed to maintain all this time. Still, my progress seems to have stopped short of where I'd actually like to be. For the past year or more I've bounced around the same 10 pounds, between 180-190, over and over. Plateau City! Clearly I'm finding myself at "equilibrium". My weight has stalled at this range, and things aren't budging. Therefor I'm ready now to mix things up a bit, and tweak the Plan where necessary, to try to hit a new low on the scale (which for me would be anything under 180 pounds). To help myself get there (and beyond), I'm joining July's MWL Weigh-In Group here in the forums. It's July 1st today! A clean slate...!

I'll start things rolling here by listing my meals for today, Thurs 7/1/21:

Breakfast:
-Air-fried potato wedges (3 med)

2nd Breakfast/Lunch (just before work):
-1 cup cooked oatmeal, splash of soymilk, sprinkle of cinnamon and sugar

Brown Bag Dinner (warm in thermos, at work):
-Cooked quinoa mixed together with cooked chickpeas, white potato, sweet potato, spinach and red onion
-Orange

Exercise:
-11,000 Steps


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