Optimal Health Journey

[StarchBeet]

What a fantastic breakfast I made this morning.

I baked some red potatoes. I stir fried onions, garlic, yellow peppers, beet greens, kale, spinach, grape tomatoes and mushrooms and then squished open the potatoes and put the greens and things on top.

I'm making headway on figuring out how my brain functions. Our weather brought this gigantic rain front spinning our way and I felt remnants of twinges in my head that used to signal a migraine. I went all day on an even keel. It wasn't until more heavy rains and something I heard in the basement that sounded like a critter chewing the ceiling that the stress then pushed me over into a migraine.

Since I didn't figure out what that made that sound in the ceiling last night before bed, I had some left-over tension when I woke up and I intend to go walk in the cool rain today but this breakfast gave me the best chance at beating this head pain. I wonder if taking an aspirin is a wise thing. I've heard that its anti-inflammatory properties are helpful.

I'll make a great big salad and soup for dinner today.

[StarchBeet]

today I've had:
sliced asian sweet potatoes, baked on parchment paper for breakfast (the dark purplish skinned starches)

small salad and vegetable soup with orzo for lunch

I'm going to make three bean salad with asparagus today also.

Soups and salads and starches thrown in are great meals

[StarchBeet]

Food plans are going well:

I made the best 3 bean salad and put in cucumber and asparagus.

I made potato and leek soup yesterday.

I might make a muffin or a treat this weekend.

I need to get on the bike soon but I'll enjoy a walk at the garden today.

[StarchBeet]

Well, I've always found Chile to be inspiring and relate to what she posts.

I've found that I've used food to deal with feelings since I threw my back out last November. I also have my daughter that now suffers from side-effects from her new medicine that is opposite of those she suffered for the last 5 years. I could never get her to eat much on the old medicine and now her continually obsessing to eat seems part of the reason why I am eating too much.

And of course I can examine that due to lack of support-no one around me believes or supports anything I am choosing- that I'm struggling to figure out how to simply eat till I'm full (and to provide my body with great nutrition and health). I'm suffering and comforting myself with eating that's encouraged by my daughters constant compulsion to go into the kitchen. Excuses (?) or just real dissonance I'm hoping to fix?

Now I have to figure out how to help myself, as usual. Who can I rely on? What things can I do to be aware of my emotional, physical and social struggles? The immediate things I want to start include a food diary so I can examine what I'm doing.

I don't know how to get support here, but I'll see if I can figure out where I am on this journey and where I can go.

I think the occasional "acceptable" treat has turned into too many unacceptable treats. I've not liked how I felt afterwards. Mothers Day I ate a brunch and I think everything had oil. I've had pains all through my joints all week.

Today the chinese stir fry I made for lunch was so delicious. I feel sound, calm and happy after eating (probably too much) a plate. I had three sorts of mushrooms and kale, two kinds of bok choy and its just so good.

Spring is time for renewal. I am happy Spring is here. I have to look through my old goals and restart them.

[Chile]

Hoo boy, can I relate to overeating if around someone else that does that! A roommate in college was bulemic. I realized after sometime that I was overeating because if I didn't eat all that I'd want of a particular dish when it was first made, the leftovers would disappear before I could have some more. It was hard to break that compulsion of mine to take in all I'd want of a food in the first meal. Being mindful of your true hunger and reasons for eating may help.

I don't know what to suggest on the rest as I'm struggling, too. Rather than post it all here, I'll go put it in my journal...

[StarchBeet]

So after listening to Doug I realize I had a tough last week or two or three. First I FINALLY got a yard sale going. I have wanted to do that since before my first back surgery and somehow I managed to find enough people to help and strength and the planets aligned right and it happened. But that meant for three days I got next to no sleep and we carted out at least 50 boxes and tons of other things. Can you imagine how exhausted I was? Well it made me think of Ruths description of going through the finish line of her runs. I literally could barely move another inch when I grabbed that last handful of stuff to take in for the next yard sale. Then I helped two friends, for mothers day, by mowing their yards. One yard was foot tall grass and I didn't finish it all. Then I injured my forearm. So I got behind in washing, cleaning, and daily tasks.

So what I'm saying is that I've pushed myself to the max and had some tough times and stretching myself past my ability can lead to weak moments, stressful moments and not being able to figure out how to properly handle myself. So, no matter what the excuses I know what I have to do about 1) the temptation of those Indian foods that are not acceptable and 2) how to fix a monthly treat....IF i'm on track and sticking to eating low caloric density foods.

The next thing I'll work on is carrying a notebook so I can write down everything that goes into my mouth. This will make it clear to myself what I'm doing and examine it closely.

The last thing I need to do is to take an hour walk every day. If I'm ever going to be healthy I have to do that for myself. I have been rearranging priorities and I'm getting better at thinking about me first. If I fall apart then everything around me will too. I owe it to myself to be my best and take care of me before I can really care for anyone or thing else.

I'll make a daily reminder of my priorities, meals and "to do" list and prepare how my day will proceed. I was feeling so great and I've had a few important set backs but all is not lost.

[StarchBeet]

I have to say...I watched many people with addictions never address the issues in my family and around me. If I fall off the wagon occasionally I have no where else to go but get back up on my feet. I am not stuck in dysfunctional patterns that I can't choose my way out of. I can make my life peaceful and happy. I can learn to care for myself and family and friends. I will do this. But I am struggling with the reality of being human and having addiction all around me, and probably in my genes.

So don't for a second think I don't take addiction seriously. I have to learn to admit to myself what others have not. I must go places that I was not shown by my family. Things can be better.

[kkrichar]

I hear you, StarchBeat. I'm the only recovering alcoholic in my family and I come from a long line of alcoholics on both sides. It's not easy to recognize a problem and find a solution when you have no idea what life is supposed to look like or where to go for help. Additionally, you have to battle the addiction's desire to survive. But, as you pointed out, it can be done. I know this too. I've battled alcoholism and addiction to cigarettes. I know the solution to my food issues. I just have to follow the suggestions like I did in AA. Simple, right? Yes, but not easy. We can do this!

[StarchBeet]

thanks for the reassuring words KKrichar. I'm sure it's a common pattern in our industrialized society or for humans in general, for all I know. I can't get over how healthy I feel when I eat right (if I can separate out the emotional struggles). I want to continue feeling great or just calm and steady.

Today I was expecting to wake up feeling achy since I chopped my poor bushes back to 4 feet from 7 feet yesterday, after I mowed and trimmed the lawn. I was not sore so I took my old dog outside and we went on a walk. Perfect morning and great start.

Now potatoes are boiling, mint tea is almost ready and my oatmeal will be done soon. I have salad and potatoes for the rest of the day, as well as left over farmers pie so I can putter around and take it easy.

Yesterday I watched that dark spider man movie. I thought of how all that dark stuff we learned about eating the crap we do in this culture was stuff I was trying to pull of and out of me. I can get these myths untangled but its a struggle sometimes.

[StarchBeet]

I made this last night and I think I'm putting this in our favorite top 5 dishes.

I missed if anyone linked to this in the past or not:

Mushroom, Kale, and Spinach Enchilada Casserole with Salsa Verde and Roasted Poblano Cream

http://healthygirlskitchen.blogspot.com ... ladas.html

[StarchBeet]

I want to get things to simplicity one day.

For the past few weeks I've had interesting things.

Rhubarb and lentils= winner! (I added some dried tom's I had)

Chocolate-Almond Quinoa Breakfast Bars= winner! ( added some chia seeds to the topping and dish)

Kale and mushroom polenta lasagna - winner! (I used different mushrooms and three types of greens)

I hate to get on the scale but I will have to do that in a week or so

I'm struggling along but I haven't strayed too long or too far.

[StarchBeet]

I was so happy that I made dishes to take for the beach this summer. I am feeling very good about my commitment to this way of life but I'm still making the same mistakes and not dealing with stress.

So I've reopened MWL book and I think I'll type up my focus on paper so I can remind myself of where my boundaries are. Doing this alone is so challenging.

I still need to fix the same things I identified a while back but I'm always being thrown off-course over and over. I'll just keep on re assessing and trying and trying. I am sure I'm throwing myself off because I simply haven't the honed skills to fix so many short comings.

I'm angry at myself and I have to do something about it.

I'm chewing my food 30 or more times. I'm eating greens and yellow vegetables half of meals. I find myself wanting pasta and more calorie rich foods and without regular exercise I am not getting off the rest of this weight. I have to identify things I must limit and make sure I have the things that melt off your fat around. I think the habit of drinking herbal coffee has added unwanted calories too. The habit grew to two cups a day. I don't think that's helping. If I had been recording my daily foods then I would be able to figure out where to go. I'll work on digesting these ideas tomorrow.

[StarchBeet]

So another year is going by and here comes another Seagull Century Ride. I really want to do some training and preparation this year. I surprised myself a lot by finishing 65 miles last year with no prep but I did hurt a spot in my calf. I've also thrown my back out since then and my left leg is weaker.

If I could only do my daily walks and find rides to go on I'd be feeling so much happier, naturally.

Friday I ate a box of Mike and Ikes. I felt out of it all day today. So many people are going through tough times, including me.

I want to find that "no exceptions" place but I really don't know how to fight for it and make it happen. If I had support..that is what someone should put on my grave since it's always what I hear coming out of my head. It's an excuse or weakness or its just how things are. I can recognize emotional patterns and not act on them or create new ways to support myself. I have done a lot in the past two years. I need to simplify, get some new challenges and keep at it.

I had 2 potatoes with nutritional yeast for lunch, spaghetti with tomatoes for dinner and oatmeal and berries for breakfast. I also made a lime soda water with 2 teaspoons of sugar.

I am feeling low and I'm trying to keep it simple. I'm out of fresh veggies but I want to make a weeks worth of meal plans before I go buying. I need to remember what's in season. I want to get some summer tomatoes since the deer ate the rest of my tomatoes.

I have oatmeal to look forward to when I start my day tomorrow. That always makes for a good way to start the day. I can then go to the adventist store to get some oat bran to make these banana muffins. I hope the bananas are usable tomorrow, they are that ripe.

I just got a twinge...and I look a the date and it's the day I'd be having my monthly cycle. I am going to get the ebook of the woman mcdougall book. No wonder I'm feeling like I'm coming apart. This was the pattern I'd had for the last decade. I've just been without menstruation cycle for 6 months now. I need to get this medical situation clear. Its ok if I fall apart; life will continue through all the emotional upheaval. Sometimes things are uncomfortable and they hurt. So now I'll go rest and let myself feel.

[kkrichar]

Hey Starchbeat. I feel your pain. I'm trying too.

[StarchBeet]

I rode in the seagull century ride again. I didn't sleep the night before and so I told myself I'd get on my bike and just stop when I couldn't ride. I rode 45 miles. That's good considering the wind, no rest, etc.

I have lost sight of trying to be aware of my daily food patterns and intake. I miss my treadmill but I so want to start back on losing weight.

I still eat McDougall style, though I haven't written in this journal since summer. I did go off for the crab feast on Sunday. I ate one crab. Poor thing hardly had any meat and the shell was so thin. I ate a few pieces of shrimp. Wow, I lost my mind since I never even liked shrimp. I also ate fried hush puppies. A few days later I have a rash and itchy feet and parts of my leg. I get strange rashes when I go near the ocean anymore. Maybe it was connected to eating seafood. I don't know.

Tomorrow I'll make a big salad and finish up the chinese vegies in lemon ginger sauce.