New Year, New Me!

[kirstykay]

Thanks for the cheerleading, boots! You are partly responsible for my new attitude. Thanks for the kick in the pants that I needed! You are a true friend!

KK-That has been going through my head all day..."Life is good like this, isn't it?" When I think of eating off plan, that thought comes into my head...NO!...life is good like this; why mess it up?

I live in a suburb of Chicago. But I have family in Cedar Rapids, so Iowa has always been very special to me. Used to go there a lot as a child to stay with my favorite grandparents...really, the only stable adults in my life as a young girl...very special memories of feeling "normal," happy, and fiercely loved when I was there...So, I am very fond of Iowa. Don't get there much now since my grandparents have both been gone for many years now. I still miss them. My dad moved back there about 20 yrs ago, but, meh...not the same....

Anyway...yes, the SNOW!!! We're supposed to get the brunt of it this evening and into tomorrow evening. Schools are open now, but everyone expects them to be closed tomorrow! I hope so! I LOVE snow days. My husband is planning on closing the office early today and not expecting anyone to work tomorrow either, so we'll all be snowed in together! I'll actually be really disappointed if it doesn't happen! It's supposed to be the worst storm we've seen since the blizzard of 1967...I wasn't even born then, so the worst in my lifetime! As long as the power stays on, I'll be happy. Hope you stay safe and warm!

[lydia]

Kirstykay, good luck with the blizzard plans...guess I hope you get a lot of snow and get to stay home for a day....sometimes it is a treat to not feel like you have to go somewhere, eh?

It looks like you are doing well and staying on track. Glad the last bears game did not derail you. They sure had a tough game. I have to confess I am not a loyal diehard cheesehead. I calll myself a fair weather friend and tend to root for a variety of teams...sometimes the Vikings, next weekend the Packers. It is fun to see them have a good run here.

Keep up the good work.

[kirstykay]

Thanks Lydia! I am torn about who to cheer for in the Super Bowl...on the one hand, I want our division to win, especially after all the trash talking the commentators have been throwing at us...on the other hand...they are our BITER RIVALS!!!! ...and our neighbors....see...I feel torn! I guess we'll just see what happens!

DAY 2 of 100% Compliance to MWL

I weighed in at the gym this morning, and it was a little disappointing, until I realize that I'm only REALLY a couple days in to being totally on plan. It just feels like so much longer! I feel like that guy on that comercial...they show him in the gym in an obviously new sweat suit, standing on a scale, very overweight and out of shape...then they show him run one lap around the gym and come back to step on the scale again...as if he's expecting it to have gone down!!!! HA!

Okay, the mantra is compliance over time!

Had a near miss with Panera this morning! But, I won! Didn't go...knew better...and didn't listen to my inner 2 yr. old's tantrum. Amazingly, she got quiet, and I won the battle. Now, to repeat that 100 or so more times, and I'll be golden!

Food Plan Today:
Bob's Mill Polenta with a touch of maple syrup-yum!
Pinto Bean and Barley soup-yum! (I think I got really close to the Sweet Tomato's version this time! The secret is cooking it for a really long time-and adding a little cooking sherry!)
Cabbage Rolls and Mixed Green Salad (Haven't made these in a while, got a taste for them and I have everything to make them...comfort food for a cold snowy night, with enough left overs for tomorrow!)

Exercise:
Total Body Strength class
45 min elliptical
I won't get to the gym for the next couple days, so I want to make sure I do my class today. I can do the Jillian DVD at home tomorrow-love it, and it's really hard, so I have a ways to go. My DH did it with me Saturday, and HE worked really hard (he's very fit), so that made me feel better about not quite being able to do it all yet.

One of the reasons I was expecting the scale to be lower is because I really feel like I'm smaller. My clothes are fitting loser, and I just feel lighter! I guess I can be happy because I think all the working out is doing it's job...so I'm going to take a page out of Boot's play book and celebrate every pound lost and hopefully I can expect more next week. Compliance over Time! I'm also going to re-watch the calorie density DVD and work at following those principles more.

Quotable Quote of the Day:
The greatest results in life are usually attained by simple means and the exercise of ordinary qualities. These may for the most part be summed in these two: common-sense and perseverance. ~Owen Feltham


Gratitude:
Anticipation of the pristine, sparkly, white powder coming to cover the dirt and grime of a long, hard winter... reminding me that there comes a beauty beyond my comprehension that covers all of my ugliness, and makes me clean~whiter than snow!

[kkrichar]

Good job resisting Panera! You mentioned the flawed logic of being disappointed you didn't lose more and then wanting to eat something off plan. In AA we call that, "drinking at them." When someone (or something) pisses us off and we're sober we think getting drunk will make it better. We'll show them, right? I'll just drink at him and he'll blah blah blah.....It's just the addiction fighting back. It knows it's losing the battle. The important thing is we remember there is no situation that eating off plan can't make worse. It'll get easier.

I always root for the team that beats my team. I figure if the only team we lost to was the winner of the whole deal then we look pretty good. Who wants to get beat by a team that gets creamed by the next guy? That's just embarassing.

A friend of mine used to live in Oak Park. Her parents are still there. Anyhoo, her mom fell down recently and really hurt herself. I guess she broke her pelvis in 3 places! Ouch. She's still in the hospital. Someone interviewed her in the hospital about the dangerous conditions.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/ ... 891.column

Have a great day 2!

[kirstykay]

YAY! SNOW DAY!!! School just called and there's another one tomorrow!

Wow, what a storm last night! Luckily, we kept our power, although it flickered several times just to scare us! I heard 65,000 are withouth power in the Chicagoland area. There sure is a LOT of snow! And the WIND is what was really scary last night.

Kelly, sorry to hear about your friend. I hope she heals quickly. Yes, the ice has been really bad this year. Both my boys have fallen walking to or from the bus.

I just made my Hearty Taco Soup, so we're good to go. I think we're going to have a "Lord of the Rings" movie marathon. I've never seen it, and my 17 yr. old has been bugging me to see it...so, with no school tomorrow either, this seems like the perfect time.

Hope everyone is keeping safe, warm and dry....oh yeah, and Happy Groundhog's Day!

[sigma957]

Ooh, nothing better than a snow day and Lord of the Rings! I grew up in Chicago, but trust me, I don't miss the blizzards.

Sounds like you are doing a great job. Just keep moving past the temptations. I know you can do it!

Barbara

[kirstykay]

Thanks Barbara! I appreciate the encouragement! You obviously have this whole thing figured out...looking at your ticker! Congratulations on the weight loss. Do you live in a warm climate now? DH and I both grew up here, so it's all we've ever known. We joke about spending our "second 50" in Hawaii! Sounds pretty good right about now! Yes, Lord of the Rings was great! I only made it through the first movie...maybe the second one today. My son has the extended version, with a bunch of special features. I guess I see what all the hype is about.

Today is super COLD! Young son had a friend sleep over and they want to play outside, but not sure...maybe if they go out for short bursts and then come in to get warm! It's sunny and beautiful...and SNOW everywhere!

Food is good. A little weird having everyone home. Whole wheat pancakes for breakfast-not MWL, but okay. I didn't make a pig of myself and I had strawberries on them, not syrup. The taco soup was awesome! Air popped popcorn while watching the movie, and I did make some of Mary's brownies and I had one. So...not a perfect day, but I'm not feeling too bad about it. McDougall, just not MWL.

Today I'm going for 100% MWL today. More soup for lunch. Probably finish up the cabbage rolls for dinner. I want to get to where I only snack on veggies, so I can increase my starch/veggie ratio. I didn't watch the calorie density dvd yesterday, so plan on doing that today.

Hope everyone is doing well.

[kirstykay]

I don't have a lot of time to post...just wanted to check in and say that this calorie density thing is really clicking for me, and making everything feel easier! As a result, had a great food day today, and totally no cravings or crazy thoughts. Very refreshing.

Didn't exercise during the snow days, so went to gym today and it was hard to get started, but my energy kicked in and I ended up having a GREAT workout! Tomorrow doing the two classes with hubby again...looking forward to it.

I had this thought while I was sweating on the elliptical...

"This is MY body and I want it BACK, #*@! IT!!!!!!!!!!
I allowed myself to feel some of the anger that I have toward being overweight. It was cleansing...I felt empowered and like I want to harness that anger and use it to inspire change.....

Gotta go...more later...

[sksamboots]

Go Kristy Go!!!

[kirstykay]

Thanks, Boots!

I don't have a lot to say. Doing well on day 8 of 100% compliance. I weigh in tomorrow and would like to see the evidence in the scale... but I promise not to get upset if I don't. Compliance is a huge deal, and that's my main goal! The weight loss will come, I KNOW it!

I made some delicious veggie soup. Been eating too many bean soups and chilis, so I'm going to get back to basics with veggie soup and potatoes this week. That's my goal.

This weekend left my dh and I feeling like we have no life...last few weeks all we've been doing is stuff for our kids, and I have to say, we're do for some grown-up time! But, that's this season of our life right now, and I have nothing to complain about, so I shouldn't...we are blessed. It's just hard to feel like it's ALL about them and not AT ALL about us. Okay, that's all I'm going to say about that...except that one interesting thing is that I think a lot of my overeating in the past has been somewhat in response to that feeling...sort of like, "I can't do anything I want to do, so I'll treat myself with food; at least I get THAT!" Well, I haven't been responding like that this time. I've been staying on my plan, and that is a victory, so I'll acknowledge it.

Food Today:
oatmeal
veggie soup
potatoes
clementines

Exercise: Walked on treadmill 30 minutes...felt like I needed some low intensity cardio today...did spin and strength on Saturday back to back

[kirstykay]

Day 9
Weighed in 216. Okay. down .5. I'm happy to go down. I'm not going to be dissappointed with ANY loss1

Happy to have made it to another day of compliance. I'm getting a few under my belt and it feels really good. I can build on this success. Resisted some major cravings today, and that was a great victory.

Food Today
B:Polenta with maple syrup
L:Veggie soup with mashed potatoes
S:Oven fries, clemintines
D:More veggie soup with sweet potato fries

Exercise: 45 min. elliptical (missed my classes today cause I had to babysit to help a friend out today-but got my workout in first! )

Quotable Quote of the Day
If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius. ~Jospeph Addison

[kirstykay]

Wow! I'm surprised to see that I haven't posted here since Tuesday. I've been posting over in the 100 day challenge thread, so it feels sort of redundant to post here, too, but I don't want my journal to stop, so I'll catch up.

Today is Day 12 of 100% compliance! That's the good news. The bad news is, it's been a constant struggle to stay here. But, the good news is really really good, so it far outweighs the bad news...iow-it's totally WORTH IT!!!

I made a decision yesterday, that I don't think is a new thought, but I remembered it...Most of the struggle I face is in my mind...I also battle my emotions, but either way, the struggle is internal. The behavior, I've got down. I KNOW what to eat, when to exercise, how to plan my meals, etc... What I fight are my feelings and emotions. I am a feeling, sensing, person instead of a rational, thinking person (if you know anything about the meyers briggs). I live in the moment...so putting off immediate pleasure for future benefit is extrememly difficult for me. All that to say, my typical ways of behaving are partly what have gotten me to where I am today (over 200 pounds and constantly struggling to stay on plan). I attribute that largely to my inner thought life that fights with me and makes it difficult for me to do what I KNOW is right and what I REALLY WANT to do...So...the decision I made is not to listen to my inner thoughts. I often refer to them as my inner 2 year old who is prone to tantrums. She doesn't get to make my decisions for me anymore! How this will play out is, when she tells me that she doesn't really feel like going to the gym, and in the past has been able to convince me that I don't really have to go, I will ignore her...she doesn't get to make any decisions for me anymore. When I have a perfectly beautiful lunch planned, and she wants me to stop and pick up fast food, I will ignore her screaming fit and remind her that she is not in charge of me. I will act on what I KNOW and not on what I FEEL. I hope I don't sound too much like I have split personality disorder, I assure you, I don't. This is just a new way of coping with the many unhealthy thoughts and emotions I have in my head all the time. I am putting my behavior on auto-pilot. What I eat, when I exercise, how I spend my time during the day...is no longer negotiable. It's just what I do.

Now, I have to leave right now so I make it to my spin class this morning, and NO!-I cannot stay here on the computer instead and read more journals!!!

[Dave Dardinger]

If you haven't already, you should read "I'm OK, you're OK" or similar books. There the person is divided into the Parent, Adult and Child. Perhaps you'd find something useful on how to deal with your inner child.

[bunsofaluminum]

Kirsty! day 12!!?!!?!!! amazing! You're doing terrific.

It really sucks about the battle, though, doesn't it. It is SO IMPORTANT to be mentally "there"...I Know from personal experience. But with 12 days of eating on plan, you have a good history of compliance, and maybe that can keep you on, until your brain kicks in

don't listen to that tantrum brat, k? YOU are the grown up! ha!

[kirstykay]

Thanks for the encouragement, Dave and Buns! I made it through the weekend. The brat seems to have quieted a bit. I'm pressing on, and trying to remember "who's the boss of me"

I know this battle is 90% in my head. I guess that's good news...