Journal of Magic & Happiness

[roundcoconut]

Fresh starts are wonderful, aren't they?

So this is a new fresh journal for me!

One thing that strikes me about how I shift and transition, is that my changes happen somewhat in chunks. I was remembering five years ago when I worked in Park City, UT, and I had only one year under my belt with this way of eating. I was eating far differently -- I hadn't really learned to balance out the starches and the vegetables, and I hadn't yet come to the point of capping the amount of fruit I used to feed myself. Well, my preferred weight range at the time was 112 - 116, and I remember feeling pretty and happy then also.

And two years later, I learned that if I was willing to do some walking and do some fasting intervals, that I could easily have access to lower weights than that. So there was a transition period, and then for the last two years, I've had a preferred weight range of 100 - 108.

And now that I'm getting better at this and getting more consistent, I am thinking I'd like to hover around a weight of 102, and really never bother to go over 104. It is really not necessary -- I have a scale and I have a brain, and I know what I need to do to continue creating a pretty and healthy body.

So I've actually put in some wonderful work over the last week, and have been keeping track of my step counts and keeping track of my fasting windows. As long as those two are high & big enough, then the scale weight drops for me. And I am not yet back down to 102, but I am in a nice groove and am happy to do what it takes to stay there.

Two other things that I have been tending to, are drinking water (I like to carry a half-gallon jug with me at the gym, and chug from it -- kinda like it's my job); and chewing my food pretty well.

It is good because with new habits comes a new body and a new relationship to food. As long as the new habits remained ingrained, the body and relationship to food that you've earned, remain happily yours. So that's what I'm all about now.

[roundcoconut]

As I was driving into town this morning, I flipped the radio on for a second and a guy was asking, "Why do people give up on themselves?" (It was some kind of local public radio, and maybe he was talking about why people don't "fight" for water rights -- that's the kind of thing you tend to hear around these parts)

But the question about people giving up on themselves seems to be a matter of whether people ever feel a sense of self-efficacy in the first place. Do people genuinely feel that THEY choose their weight or their diseases? Or do they feel hopeless, helpless and powerless?

I would tend to say that the people around us feel themselves to be the product of things that are not within their control, or things that they haven't figured out how to control. So I honestly DO try to go pretty easy on these people!

A neighbor of mine, who I've often met up with for breakfast, sometimes looks around us and says, "Let me get this straight. We're the ones ordering the fruit bowl and the plain oatmeal, and THESE people are having cinnamon rolls and mochas?? They need the fruit and oatmeal WAY more than we do!"

I tend to respond to him that we really don't need to go around beating up the sick people or the heavy people. (I mean we don't need to beat them up verbally!). And I think this is a decent perspective.

But feelings of self-efficacy can only be developed through experience! So, a person who learns that at LEAST they can "control" their daily steps -- and make more steps in their day when they want to, and have less steps in their day when they make different choices -- may begin to make the connection that "Hey, if I can influence my step count, then I can probably influence my vegetable content". (And if I can do that, I can influence my fat content. And if I can do that I can influence my starch content.) And on and on and on.

Here on these boards, there is a lot of low self-efficacy from newcomers and from people with more entrenched health problems! I don't like to engage in the "You can't fix me game" (if people happen to be playing it), but I AM happy to share the perspective that there are many levers and switches that I use to influence my own weight and health, and that those can be other people's levers too, if they'd like that.

So, there are some more thoughts for today! Feel free to share here if you'd like to, but I am also happy to journal without any external reinforcement. I just do it because I like to, so either way works!

[roundcoconut]

I know that everyone has their own idea of how many steps they like to get each day, but I've been really into walking on a treadmill at the gym now that the weather has gotten colder.

The idea that I like best, is that I just walk five miles every day. Sure, I keep track of my step counts (and the walking I do at work DOES contribute something nice!), but to just go in and knock out five miles, is turning out to be fun for me. I can do whatever I like when I'm at the gym -- I can surf the internet, shop on the internet (yikes!), listen to music, read a book -- it's my time, and I've got tons of it.

That's one thing that I've been into these days.

I also wanted to mention that something different dawned on me, which is that I really like writing and journaling and stuff. Like, I like to spend hours each day doing sedentary things that cannot be done so well with a treadmill desk, even if I had one.

So I'm kind of thinking about this -- because I really LIKE doing sitting things, and wonder if I can figure out a way to keep the blood flowing while I'm moving. I know many different devices are sold to meet this need (move the blood while sitting by pedaling something under your desk) and I'm wondering how that might work out for me. Particularly, I am wondering because this would mean that I do any sedentary things from home, whereas currentlly I tend to do these types of things out in public at a coffee shop.

So I am thinking about these things!

[roundcoconut]

Another idea I have, is that I'd like to start a thread here, to excerpt all the wonderful comments that have been made by long-timers here. There are some real gems, and they are worth capturing and putting in one place.

Today while I was on a treadmill, I was reading some of the posts of Star McDougallers from several years back. They are just as relevant and awesome today as they were then. So I started writing them down, and will probably share this with others, as a separate project.

There was a similar thread on the Fuhrman forums, and it was such a service to members of that discussion board.

The problem sometimes, is that those who've thrived on this way of eating can get drowned out by the echo chamber of people who are "trying" a plant-based diet, who tend to post about their ideas. So, if you eyeball the posts in the Lounge at any given time, there are plenty of people who don't yet know what they're doing. But if you read the Star McDougallers and what they say, you get a much clearer picture of what to do and what path to follow.

So maybe next week I'll start a greatest hits thread, where I excerpt that stuff from years ago that is really awesome.

[roundcoconut]

I think it is true about exercise -- the best exercise is the one that you will do.

I think there is a lot of variation in what people are drawn to, but for me, I just feel happy when I am doing lots of miles. When I think about walking three miles, I think that sounds so dull and soccer-mommish. But I decided that I was going to be a five mile kind of girl and that actually feels fun and exciting to me. I like volume, but I don't love a ton of intensity.

Now, when I mentioned "fresh starts" (re the start of a new journal), I actually feel like I am rebirthing myself into a different person -- meaning someone who tracks her exercise and makes endurance a priority.

While I was on the treadmill this morning, I happened to think about where I'm going with the exercise part of this. And really I just want to WALK for the entire winter -- I don't necessarily see myself branching out into any strength training, or breaking out into any running. I honestly don't like running very much!

So the plan for my walking is just to walk a lot, but not bother with a ton of intensity. I like to be somewhere between 2.7mph and 3.2mph. More than that isn't fun anymore. That's all. Now I'm on the hook for walking all winter, and I've got that out there for all to see!

[roundcoconut]

I DO believe that having lots of steps in every single day, is what gives a person the foundation biologically, to make smart food choices. I mean, getting my total energy expenditure up by, what, 250 calories -- that kind of thing doesn't seem like it would add up much over time.

But the act of walking those five miles -- it is the kind of thing that ripples outward in ways that are far more effective than the calories burned. Walking those five miles, means that I get thirsty and fill up a jug of water for myself, and drink that. And in that state, I am not susceptible to boredom eating or recreational eating. I am just not in that dulled-down, bored state of someone who would think of pounding five bananas.

Also, my treadmill time replaces a pattern of SITTING first thing in the morning. It was my old normal, to go to a coffee shop, and have a cup of tea (or sometimes coffee, but more tea than coffee these days) and just SIT for a few hours while I'm reading, or writing, or on my computer. So this is a wonderful pattern for me.

Another thing that's interesting is, my old normal was to rely on my work for a lot of my daily steps. I had a bargain with myself, that as long as I got 10K steps in before work, then work would take care of the rest. but now I've got the whole thing under control, without making work responsible for moving me around. I don't need those steps, really.

So there's my thoughts on exercise!

[roundcoconut]

I've been reading posts from Star McDougallers lately (ones from several years back), because I've really decided to brainwash myself into a new level of awesomeness. (I would say a new level of compliance, but that sounds so dull -- so I'm going to stick with a "new level of awesomeness" -- that just has such a nice ring to it!

It may sound odd, but I feel new to this WOE in some fun and happy way. So even though I feel like I got 90% of the gains to be had from this way of eating in my first five or six years here (however long it's been, I've never been good at keeping count), I think that the last 10% of gains is the most gratifying and lovely. The last ten percent is totally where it's at!

One minor correction I have remembered to offer myself (because I tend to be that person who thinks one can't be thin enough soon enough!), is to tell myself, "You don't get bonus points for going to nutty extremes!"

So one example of this: I've already gotten in a good groove of eating one piece of fruit at each sitting, and not exceeding two for the day. But in my mind, I sometimes think (when I am making up a grocery list before entering the store), "Y'know, you could omit the fruit and just get an extra vegetable!" (This is my subconscious brain trying to be helpful, so it comes through in a really fun, chipper voice.)

But after reading post after post by Star McDougallers who've lost all their weight and kept it off, I am remembering to say to myself. "Give yourself a piece of fruit. Your body can USE those calories! And besides, you LIKE eating a piece of fruit."

The same holds true for starches -- I am in an excellent pattern of having a portion of starch, rather than huge over-portions. For example, I measure out a portion of lentils (1/2 to 3/4 of a cup, measured dry) before I cook it. Or, I measure out my oats rather than haphazardly eating enough for a growing hippopotamus. So I am ALREADY good at managing my portions of starch, but there is a part of my brain who says, "Y'know you could omit the starch entirely and just eat another vegetable!"

And while I am a firm believer in having a snack that does not include a starch at all (only composed of veg or fruit), I probably can go ahead and eat the starch.

And just to prove that I kind of go to extremes, the same mentality comes up re extending the fasting window more and more. Like, everyone has a fasting window that includes their sleep time. But a 16-hour fasting window is fine for my purposes. A 15-hour fasting window is probably just fine as well. I really don't have to go to extremes anymore (if I ever really did).

So it is really helping me to brainwash myself by reading the posts of Star McDougallers. They may have also had their fine tuning phase where nearly all of their weight has been lost, and I can just kinda follow in their footsteps, with a couple tweaks for my personal food preferences. Right?

[roundcoconut]

I want to mention that I DO believe there is an inverted-U-shaped curve with regard to body fat levels. If a person strips away far too much body fat, their health truly goes to shit. Does anyone remember those anorexia studies done by the military on conscientious objectors to some war or another? The men who got far too low in body fat became compulsive and obsessive, and they surely did not have nice emotional states (feelings of loneliness, anxiety, paranoia, and stuff like that.)

But the other end of the spectrum is no picnic either, where it is plain as day that having more stored fat than your body requires, is just carrying around extra sacks of potatoes -- slightly lower energy levels, slightly groggier moods, more prone to depression and yicky emotional states.

So for me, I have never personally had too little body fat, but I can see that if I were to dip to a weight of 95 pounds, I would start to have problems generating body heat, or sustaining body heat. This would make me miserable and grouchy. And who knows how else it would affect my mental state.

But that ideal body fat for my health -- the one at which I have enough fat to cushion my organs and such, but am not saving calories anywhere for a rainy day -- that seems to be somewhere RIGHT NEAR where my body is currently at. I will take a picture of this within the next month and post it here. I have not had my body fat tested, and I really don't care if anyone attaches a number to my body fat levels anyway -- but I think I am just about there.

The thing that I notice about body fat levels, is that people whose musculature shows through -- that's a good indicator of low body fat levels. Do you remember seeing those illustrations of Native Americans, that were made by europeans visiting the new world? They show people who are not carrying fat in their neck, or in their thighs, or in their belly. They show the kind of people who could wear a loincloth (ha ha, the men anyways). (Oh, but not "wear a loincloth" like a sumo wrestler, that's just wrong.).

So I'll post a pic maybe in three weeks or so. Because the musculature is just about showing through in my legs and butt, and that seems to be the right body fat levels for me.

[roundcoconut]

I thought of something else that's really interesting! It's this:

We have allies in the most unlikely places. Really!

I say this because I joined a gym in the middle of the summer, because I like getting a lot of steps in my day, regardless of the rain or the snow or the available daylight. And of course gyms are the kind of place where you expect people to mix eggs in with their protein powder, and drink their calories and who KNOWS what other kinds of crap these people do.

Anyways, I started noticing that there's one guy at my gym who has a beautiful body, by bodybuilding standards. He is just really big and really well sculpted. And, like any good bodybuilder does, he spends hours at the gym and really keeps his nose to the grindstone. He comes in late in the evening when that's all the time he has available, or he knocks his workouts out in the mornings, when he has to work later in the day -- he's just freaking consistent.

And so this guy is my gym-crush. Because everyone needs a gym-crush! And I like to think of my gym-crush as my audience, like, "You can't just cut your workout short for no good reason. What would your gym-crush think?" WWGCD. I'll put it on a wristband!

So, the reason I'm telling you about my gym-crush, is that y'know who will ALWAYS support us in achieving and maintaining low body fat levels? Bodybuilders!

That nonsense that's going around, where people think thin women "don't look healthy" or "need some meat on their bones" or "need junk in their trunk" -- well, you'll never get a bodybuilder to agree with that. They've trained their eye to like the look of bodies with low body fat!

And -- because I'm on this way of eating -- I really DO have a nice body, by those standards. So of course, my gym-crush notices me. I mean, it's not as though there's much competition, but still -- in my mind I have this sense that my gym-crush truly appreciates the low body fat levels I have, and how that aesthetically comes together.

Allies in unusual places, right?

[roundcoconut]

I wanted to post for a second about "goal weight" or whatever, because it's really interesting to me!:

Like many children of the 80s, I was raised on pizza and pasta and all that American fare. So, unlike many of us here on these boards (children of the 60s or 70s) who can easilly look to their high school weight as a time when they were not overfed, I was -- if you have a discerning eye -- an overweight kid and teen and adult.

No, I wasn't overweight by society's standards, but honestly, even kids who eat too many calories (due to the pleasure trap) wind up with body fat that they never needed. So I was probably ten pounds overweight by my own estimation, when I was in grade school (but so was everyone else -- just sayin'), and then even more overweight in junior high and even more overweight in high school, etc.

Of course, society's norms and perceptions kept up with my weight accummulation, and I continued to be seen as "normal" and "pretty" and whatever.

The thing that's interesting to me is that I was in my 30s when I began this way of eating, and I probably weighed upper 130s. At this time, i thought that 116 might be a dream weight for me.

As time went on, I started to realize that 112 was just thin relative to SAD standards, and that I was genetically and biologically capable of being happy, healthy and satisfied at 104. So then THAT became my fantasy weight.

And -- we kinda all know this story -- at some point you realize that the sheer volume of food that one is ingesting, is by no means biologically driven. My BODY didn't need as much food as I was eating, even at 112. I was doing a lot of pleasure eating and hardly ever felt a sensation of hunger. I went from pretty full to stuffed, and then I started eating again when I was back down to "pretty full".

So I started to have an awareness over time that -- same song, in a different key -- that I was genetically and biologically capable of being happy, healthy and satisfied even at lower body fat levels. I'm not sure that I have a number in mind as to what my favorite weight is these days, but I DO understand that these numbers would've sounded unbelievable and unrealistic (and probably delusional) if any diet guru had told me what I was capable of, back when I was living my SAD life.

I mention this because I think it was the experience of a few of the Star McDougallers as well, that they started out thinking, "Wow, I can't imagine even getting down to 140" and then they sailed right past that weight when they truly got their shit together.

I think it's a really common experience!

On the other hand, I know that my current scale weight and current body fat levels sound to other people like I have become a moron and a genetic mutant, but I think it is just a matter of perspective. Once you start to see how much (aka how little) body fat you need to sustain health, then you can decide how far above that you would like to be, if any. It becomes a matter of aesthetics (what looks pleasing to your eye) and also satisfaction with life (those who like to eat regular plan instead of MWL).

That's my thought for the moment!

[roundcoconut]

I'm in this new era of compliance, and that has been pleasant and interesting for me! My body feels and looks really nice (in my eyes).

One thing that fascinates me, is that humans often do a poor job at estimating things. We have to track and measure, in areas that we really care about.

For me, I spent the entire summer KINDA caring about my daily step counts. I wasn't yet writing down my end-of-day totals, though, so it was easy to let low days fall by the wayside -- I never was committed to writing that down and having it "live in posterity" on the chart on my wall at home.

Also, when you're not measuring and tracking, you tend to be a little bit more sloppy about getting any traction or improvement over time. It's easy to NOT do better than last week, or even TRY to do better than last week, because it's all unmeasured and untracked -- you honestly have no idea how you're doing relative to a previous week or a previous month.

So for about two weeks I've been tracking two things every single day -- 1) scale weight (I do a four day average to smoothe things out!); and 2) step count for the day. And it is gratifying to do it that way, because when you engineer your day so that you get to write down something awesome for your step count, then of course you pass your own test with flying colors and feel pretty awesome about yourself.

It is true that once you've gotten the hang of what to eat and how much to eat, in order to lower/maintain your body fat levels, then there REALLY are no surprises where the scale is concerned. Sure, if I eat fairly late in the evening, then the scale weight is one pound higher in the morning than it otherwise would be. But that is the reason for the four-day average. My four-day average really smoothes out the "waste products waiting in the colon" bump in the scale, when that happens.

Oh! And since my winter project for myself seems to be both about refining my body fat levels and ALSO improving my endurance and fitness, I took a benchmark measurement of my fitness yesterday while on the treadmill by measuring my heart rate while I was walking at a fairly comfortable brisk pace. I was at 114bpm.

The thing that I expect to happen, is that over time, I will be inching up my exertion level, without finding it unpleasant. And of course, over time and with consistent effort, a person becomes much more efficient even at that particular heart rate -- they are able to go faster or use more incline than they used to do at that heart rate.

So that's a tremendously humdrum post, but I have more to say and can be a little more exciting than this in my other posts!

[roundcoconut]

I finally listened to JeffN's calorie density talk (I wasn't sure that there would be anything new or useful to me, but there WAS!), and it was so, so excellent!

One of the things he mentioned in he talk was that in the BlueZones book, one of the commonalities of the longest-lived populations, was that they had constant moderate activity in each day. They weren't sedentary -- they were constantly moving throughout the day.

And this helps convince me that I'm on a good path. I've always BELIEVED the people who say that eight hours of sitting a day is detrimental to our health, or that at the very least, it requires us to be vigilant about being active in the time that we DO have available to us.

So I've been a five-miles-a-day girl for the last two weeks or so (I can't EXACTLY tell when i started by looking at my chart on the wall because all I've got written down are my step counts for the day, not my distance for my morning walk.). But there are a couple of awesome takeaways:

First, I honestly felt very sensitive at first, wondering whether people would think I'm "overexercising" by taking a 90-minute walk pretty much every day. (OK, it's more like 100 minutes if you figure I'm doing 3mph.) But everyone seems to mind their own business! One guy I happened to know, asked me casually, "How long are you going?" And I said, "I always do five miles if I have the time!", which seemed sane enough. If I had mentioned an hour and forty minutes, that might've gotten a different response, but as it was, five miles sounded sensible to him.

Second, the immediate gains to a person's endurance are SO positive and reinforcing! Over the course of two weeks, I am using more incline and choosing higher speeds and enjoying a bit more intensity. There's really nothing that a person can good at faster, than walking. We are born to it, and our heart is just BEGGING to do some work. Our bodies actually like to work! It's just that our minds are brainwashed into thinking that it's unpleasant.

Third, exercise is a wonderful appetite regulator! I've realized that I do best when I eat half of my daily intake as a before-work meal, and the other half as an after-work meal. Since I tend to start my shifts at 3:30PM, that means that the mornings are generally the food-free zone. (It's interesting because I still get up by 8am most days, even though I am eating my last meal anywhere between 9 and 10pm. Weird!)

Fourth, I DO believe it's smart to move at an intensity level that is fun, not one that an outsider would believe is "enough". Generally that means that the first couple of weeks of any walking program, you won't do anything impressive. But I think it's like little kids whose parents enter them in fun-runs when they're 8 or 9 -- they're trying to making moving a treat and a joy, and that's what we're trying to do here too.

Those are my observations for the day! More later if anything comes to me.

[roundcoconut]

I’m a huge believer in establishing a “new normal”, when it comes to making upgrades to my life. Like, I think one reason people fail at something, is because they maintain their “old normal” in their minds, and are constantly comparing what they are currently doing, against what they (still) feel is the nice and natural way of doing things.

Like, in establishing oneself at the gym, it is smart to feel that the daily treadmill time is just the new normal. That’s just how things are now! That’s just what you DO now — it is nothing special or unusual. Otherwise, you’re gonna act really put out — like, “I’ve gotten to the gym five days this week, and STILL the scale hasn’t moved for me”.

When something’s the new normal, the new natural, there is no feeling of “Oh god I am suffering so much by drinking tea instead of coffee! How long until my goddamn blood pressure comes down?” — or whatever the case may be.

—

Anyways! Right now, my body is superskinny and I look really pretty and delicate in my own eyes.

I’ve put a measuring cup in my sack of rolled oats, and am finding that measuring out 1/2 cup dry oats, cooks up to be plenty of food, if one uses two parts water, and then adds some fruit at the end. Same goes for other starches — measure out the correct portion, and then add some vegetables to round out the meal.

So THAT is the big secret to getting my body superskinny. And I know not everyone likes the look of superskinny, but I DO like that look. It is just really pretty on me, and it makes my waist super-small. I’ll keep you guys updated! Pics coming this month, I promise!

[roundcoconut]

A couple quick comments about how long it takes to adapt to a new normal — it happens FAST!

I decided a few weeks ago that I wanted to do five miles a day, as my standard distance every time I hit the gym and step on that treadmill. And it seemed like freaking FOREVER the first coupla times I did it. I mean honestly!

But I for some reason LOVE to follow the ultra-running scene, where the people go batshit on miles and think nothing of doing an 8-mile or a 12-mile run. So, I guess I told myself, “Well, ninety minutes on a treadmill isn’t half as crazy as those loopy runners who enter 50K races!” That was my justification as to why I’m not the craziest person out there.

Because I like walking, and I have tons of free time. I never go into work before 3 or 4pm, and then I wake up bright and raring to go at 7:30AM the next morning. So I am born to like long slow distances! And I can listen to music for HOURS, happily.

Anyways, about two weeks ago I decided that it’s November already, and I’m just going to go to the gym ALL FREAKING WINTER. Of course, in gyms, they like to say that if you want to get your body fat down, you should “build muscle” because “muscle ramps up the metabolism”, but I’m just not having any of that. I don’t want to work with weights, and I LIKE to walk. So, I am a walker!

In any event, I have a little chart on my wall, next to my bed, and it’s starting to become old hat, to have these step counts of 20K, 22K, 26K — I’ve got my 5 mile walk going for me, and then there’s always many more steps throughout the day, via work, or just via life. And it’s become the new normal over the course of two or three weeks. What did I used to do with my afternoons before this? I can barely remember, and even if I could, I wouldn’t want to go back to that.

So there’s my update for the day. My weight has been steadily between 101 and 103 for two weeks, so I am pretty much breaking even calorically. There is a huge emotional reward to tuning your body precisely to your liking! I’m having a lot of fun with this.

[roundcoconut]

I’ve heard a number of things that I consider excellent advice, so I am posting them here, both to cement them in my own memory, and to offer them to anyone else who might be able to use them:

The first is that good health is just like any other practice. It is like being good at the violin, or like being a runner, or like training in ballet, or raising a kid, or like saving for retirement, or like running a business — it is something that you commit to, something that you work at over time, something you don’t expect to be great at overnight.

It is ongoing, and you get good at it by honing your skills. Some skills, you can harvest quite readily. Other skills, they take more time. You don’t throw in the towel or run into the arms of the nearest jar of Jiff Peanut Butter, just because your skills are weak in some areas.

In my own life, I could easily eat three dinners on a boring evening. And yet, I’ve mostly worked out ways to make sure that i don’t do that kind of damage to myself.

I think that someone who is a professional violinist (or an aspiring professional violinist) gets to that practice room, and that not every day is a “homerun” (sorry bad metaphor!) musically. (Yeah, wow, that is a hilariously bad metaphor!)

But in that way, I seem to get to these boards pretty frequently, and I also DO get to the gym and I jump on that treadmill. It is not as though my five-mile walks are burning any major calories, and I really do not need sweet or fatty foods even with all that walking in my day. But I just see this as part of my path for health, and it’s an ongoing process for me.

I DO want to encourage more people on these boards to come to the Lounge and TALK! It is through posting that we are able to positively reinforce what we’re doing here, but the Lounge went super-duper-silent for almost a year, as we just kinda got fed up with each other — But I think we can pull it back from the depths of silence, and make it vibrant and lively again!