Since my last flurry of posts, when I was going through a phase of eating C-R-A-P, I've been doing better. I actually did worse for a few days, and then realized what was going on: I was having a subterranean freak-out because of the "no more chocolate chips" promise.
(I wish trying to avoid certain foods didn't trigger an animal-like feeding frenzy in me, but there it is. That's my psychological muddle. Cognitive behavioral therapy, art/dance therapy, talk therapy, Overeaters Anonymous... none of them have helped me get over this particular insecurity.)
So I lightened up, bought chocolate chips, and have been doing much better without the psychological obsession from this perceived "deprivation". This has always been a particular issue for me due to my upbringing. I would like to be in a place where I could give up all chocolate, because even a few oz a day is a ton of fat & nutrition-less calories. But I'm just not there yet.
However, a lot of the other changes I wanted to try ARE working. Am definitely sleeping better in general, though still having trouble.
So here's a quick progress check on the "concrete baby steps" I planned:
1. Increase consumption of veggies. YUP! Have eaten some kind of leafy green every day for a week now (but I still don't like them). And we've discovered a palatable "green" smoothie (baby spinach & frozen blueberries, some banana, & a bit of tofu & vanilla). My daughter still doesn't know that she's eating spinach, hee hee hee
I've been cooking a lot more, too, which means more veggies 'cause I just add whatever's around to the recipe. There just aren't that many raw veggies that I truly like, but I love a lot of them when gently cooked.
2. Start going to bed at a decent hour, even if "everything" isn't "done." AM GETTING TO BED by 11-12. Still not 9-10 p.m. I need, but way better than 2-4 a.m.!
- No more nighttime posting on McD forum! YUP. But I miss you guys.
- Have hubby power off PC so I'm less tempted. SO FAR not necessary, as long as I don't get started.
- Have reading material picked out. YUP, gives me something to look forward to and a way to wind my mind down from work worries.
- Switch from chocolate to carob or fruit desserts in p.m. HAVE REDUCED the amnt of chocolate significantly, but telling myself "none" seems to be too big of a mental stretch right now.
- Dim lights, esp blue lights like TV etc. STILL FORGETTING to try this but it will happen naturally as I switch to reading before bed.
3. Bake more treats, especially fruit-based ones, & keep in freezer. NO PROGRESS.
4. Find a an inconvenient-to-reach place to store white sugar or consider demerara sugar only. MOVED IT TO LESS CONSPICUOUS PLACE.
5. Further reduce sugar in morning coffee to 1/2 tsp. HAVEN'T TACKLED YET.
6. Gradually go decaf again. DONE!!!
7. Switch from diet coke to fizzy water or decaf iced tea at work. NO NEED - have just switched to drinking more water. No diet coke in a week or two and I no longer even want it.
8. Get back to daily walking. BETTER. Some kind of exercise every other day or so, rain or shine. This weekend I realized I'll have to add another loop to my walk, because I can walk fast enough now it doesn't take 30 minutes! (AND, no chest pain
).
I am striving for progress, am wishing (as all perfectionists do) for perfection with my dietary goals, but am learning not to let my inevitable lack of perfection at these goals make me give up on them.