Sigh, I should probably stop weighing myself.
Even if I weighed myself once a week I'd be showing an upward trend for the past week and a tiny weightloss for the month. Each day I cut something else out and I feel really good about my progress. I exercise and meet my daily responsibilities. My mental clarity and focus are better. Yet, I get so disappointed when I see consistent gains or 0 losses. I can stay positive for a week or so but then it gets to me.
This is a good time for me to reflect on my approach to everything. I was thinking about this last weekend while talking to a friend about another issue I struggle with. Imagine an obstacle course/treasure hunt style contest. You have to complete tasks and then you get information on where to go next until you finally get to the end. I'm the person who is gung-ho in the beginning and tears out to the first obstacle. I might complete it but more than likely I'll decide it's too hard and begin looking for a way around it. I'll start wandering off in random directions looking for the finish line. I'll stop people who have finished and ask them how they did it. When they say they completed all tasks I brush them off and decide there must be an easier way than that. I spend years sitting and thinking and questioning to find a way to get to the end without doing what everyone else did to get there. I never get any closer but I'm sure my way is faster. The saddest part is the end is only the end because
you completed all the tasks. I cannot function where I want to be until I've done the work. I wouldn't survive there. I see the tasks as unfair obstacles I shouldn't have to endure. In reality they are preparation. You can't run a marathon unless you train and you can't live a healthy life until you've switched to a healthy diet. I need to do the task in front of me and when I'm ready to go to the next one I'll know it and I'll be ready. I can't force it. I can't rush it. I simply need to follow the plan as it is written and not expect it to give me what I want when I want it. The scale is simply a guide that can be used overtime to identify potential problems. I write down every bite of food that goes in my mouth. If I look at my food plan and I don't see anything wrong then I know I just need to wait. If I look at it and I see something there that perhaps shouldn't be I can change it. How I adhere to the plan is under my control. Everything else is part of the training. I need to go through it and I will be better for it in end.
Sigh, I feel better now. Thanks.