Morphine's Journal

[morphine]

JohnLarson, I know exactly what you mean! I tend to "cheat" toward certain foods, and I know they're my weakness. And, like you, I really DO like the foods on this plan! I don't know why I think I need anything else. I guess it's just an addiction, and I'm trying to break it.

Thanks for your comment. Keep on trying, friend!

[jld]

Good for you for hanging in there, morphine. Norm just kept putting one foot in front of the other, and we all can do that. Keep on keeping on!

[morphine]

Free Dunkin' Donuts at work? No, thank you!

Yesterday was my new "Day 1"...haha, I say that every month! I did have a small amount of meat yesterday, but I think it's okay. On Sunday I made chili beans. Four types of beans, tomatoes, celery, onions, peppers, very delicious. In a gigantic pot (probably 1 gallon of beans), I added 4 ounces of browned sausage. So, I estimate every cup of beans to be only 1/4 ounce of sausage. Even better, after the beans were halfway gone, I added several cups of brown rice to the mixture, further "diluting" the sausage even further.

So, I'd say it was a success, considering I could easily eat a pound of sausage in one meal! I am trying to be "gung-ho", and try to get under 300 as soon as I can. But I'm already remembering the advise, and taking it one step at a time.

Thanks again, everybody, for joining me in my journey.

-Morphine

[morphine]

Day 3. I want to see how long I can make this streak last!

[JohnLarson]

Day 3. I want to see how long I can make this streak last!

Awesome. I am right with you.

[morphine]

...and I was back down to 308 this morning. I really need to stop weighing every day, but I like the feedback I get from it. I try not to worry too much about it, though. My "official" weigh-in is on the first day of each month.

[morphine]

I have not done well. Surprised?

My blood sugar was 324 this morning. Not good.

[morphine]

I just posted the following message in the MWL forum. I just wanted to capture it here also, for those of you who follow me closely. It's a bit of a revelation, and I think I can try again!

____________________________________________________

I've posted here before, but I want to give it another try. I have been in the McDougall camp for several months, and I've lost a total of about 40 pounds this year. But I have cheated a lot, and my blood sugar is getting worse. I want to try to be faithful to this lifestyle, and give it a solid chance to help me lose weight and reverse my Type 2 Diabetes.

For those of you who've read my journal, you know that I struggle. You know that, time and again, I try to "start over" and do it perfect for a certain number of days. But I came across some new information that may help me.

Somehow, I had it in my head that the MWL program suggested two-thirds (2/3) to three-fourths (3/4) of your plate to consist of the "green and yellow vegetables." Therefore, the glorious starches would be reduced to a mere 1/3 or 1/4 of your plate. I was walking around TOO HUNGRY! After watching one of Dr. McD's videos, and reviewing this thread, I realize that I had it backward. In fact, I now understand that the green and yellow veggies should be half of your plate....AT THE MOST! Whoa, that makes my life easier. I love veggies, don't get me wrong, but this is why I like McDougall's approach. This shouldn't be a low-carb diet, and we shouldn't walk around hungry! That's why I keep failing every diet....including this one!

So, today I will begin AGAIN. Yeah!

I'm going to *try* the MWL, but I'm not going to freak out if I have too few vegetables in any given meal. I'm not going to freak out if my wife sautees an onion in some oil, and then puts that onion in a gallon-pot of vegetable soup! I'm not going to lose my head if the only thing I have for lunch is 4 cups of delicious 15-bean soup, and no "green-and-yellows."

I might still have my turkey for thanksgiving. After all, I did raise her from a chick, and I'll butcher and cook her myself. But I'm going to try this again. I'd love to hear your comments, suggestions, or encouragement. And feel free to check out my journal.

[PreciousTaters]

Great news! Those aha moments are what keep us moving forward and here's to your fresh start with a new moment kicking it off!

One choice at a time.

[JohnLarson]

We should not go hungry eating this way. I find my slips are a matter of boredom or convenience.

I have not decided what I want to eat on Thanksgiving. I have not been 100% and I feel like I am once again headed in the right direction. I stumbled a little this weekend, so who knows. I am not sure if I could eat a turkey I raised, but I am a bit of a hippy anyway.

[morphine]

Well, I did very well yesterday.....until about 11pm. I should have gone straight to bed, but those Oscar Mayer hotdogs in the fridge were too much! It's an addiction, I tell you! But overall, I still think yesterday was a success. One battle at a time.

Rice and beans for breakfast and lunch today, along with some mixed veggies (corn, peas, carrots, green beans). I'm ready to roll!

[PreciousTaters]

But overall, I still think yesterday was a success. One battle at a time.

Rice and beans for breakfast and lunch today, along with some mixed veggies (corn, peas, carrots, green beans). I'm ready to roll!

[morphine]

I can't decide whether I should take my metformin or not. I'm supposed to take 1000mg daily, and my doctor fusses at me when I don't. But Dr. McDougall adamantly advises NOT to take the medication, in most cases. I started taking it again yesterday, when my blood sugar was the highest ever at 324. But, I had not been following his plan! So, I don't know whether or not I should take the medication while I'm beginning this plan. I did ok yesterdya, but not 100%. Technically, I don't even have one day in a row yet!

Hopefully, today will be Day 1, and I'll keep it going for a while. But, should I take it or not? Ugh!

[morphine]

Norm,
Is that your polite way of saying, "I told you so"?

Truly, you are correct. I keep thinking "I'll do it this time." Or, "If I can just get over the hump, I'll be fine." Or, "I just want to get under 300, and then it will be easier." No, no, and no. I can't stay on track. Mostly, it's the additions to the things I shouldn't be eating: meat and cheese. I've pretty much conquered my addiction to peanut butter and Reece's cups. I rarely eat them now. And if I do, I can now stop at 2-3 little Reese's. My family is not on-board, and they continue to eat the Standard American Diet. So, when I have my rice, potatoes, etc, and they're eating delicious pepperoni and salami sandwiches.....sometimes it's just too much.

I had a enjoyable Thanksgiving, but I ate horribly. I said, "Well, I'll start again tomorrow." But then we had so many leftovers! As a result, I witnessed the scariest thing regarding my blood sugar. Friday night, my blood sugar was 454. 454! I should have been in the hospital! Saturday night, even after eating "properly", it was still over 400. Last night it was getting better, but still at about 350. This is scary. My morning blood sugar readings are in the high-200's. Not good at all. In fear, I started taking my metforming again this weekend. I don't know if it's helping, or if it's the change in diet. Or both.

If I can just really buckle down and go hardcore for a month, I'll be ok. No! No! In theory, perhaps. But you're right, Norm. I can't do it. Maybe I should shut up and listen to the guy who's been so successful. Sure, I've lost 40 pounds since the first of the year. Well, actually just 38 because I gained 4 pounds in November.

What should I do? Where should I start? I honestly have no clue what to do. I know the rules. I know what I'm supposed to eat, what I can't eat. But I can't do it. Tell me again what I should do. Help!

[PreciousTaters]

If I can just really buckle down and go hardcore for a month, I'll be ok. No! No! In theory, perhaps. But you're right, Norm. I can't do it. Maybe I should shut up and listen to the guy who's been so successful.
...
What should I do? Where should I start? I honestly have no clue what to do. I know the rules. I know what I'm supposed to eat, what I can't eat. But I can't do it. Tell me again what I should do. Help!

No one said it was going to be an easy transition; especially when you are still surrounded by all of your (soon to be former!) favourite foods. That being said, I think it's important for you to keep in mind that this is your journey to health and with that comes the ability to do it your way. As you have read all over this site, folks fall on a scale of transition. There is no one way to do this. Read that again. There is no one way to do this. Fantastic support and advice all along the spectrum are available here as you also know.

So where does that put Morphine? I don't know. I do know that every change you make is one more choice you made towards your journey. Those changes really do add up. And eventually you won't be able to imagine consuming foods that aren't moving you forward to your goals. That might not be as soon as you want. As Norm mentioned somewhere along the line, time and adherence.

Keeping with Norm's approach of a slower transition and based on what I recall from reading in your journal, I think it might serve you to really focus on one meal to "get you started" as it were. I would pick your first meal of the day to work on at the moment. Make that one compliant and find a variety (if you feel you need/want that) of meals that work for you. Meals that you don't have to think twice about in terms of preparing or enjoying. Start there. Don't deviate and don't stress about the rest of the day. Get started right on your journey each and every day. Give yourself time to make this one meal work. Small accomplishments can go a long way and I reckon before you know it, the second meal will be on your radar to bring in line.

I think I have rambled on enough now. Stay strong. You are worth every change you make.