Buns Again

[bunsofaluminum]

Hi Moonlight I put the invites in the mail on Thurs or Fri and then we started doing some other planning and I started wishing we had just decided to get married while IN Vegas but it's too late, we sent the invitations. So yesterday in the morning, while we're talking over the things that needed doing, I was getting REALLY stressed. What tables would we need, how many chairs, what kind of outdoor decor for the yard, etc. Stopped at a rental place that was closed for Labor Day. Stopped at Lowe's to look at flowers and get some ideas. Getting more and more stressed and bitchy. I apologized to Wylie ahead of time telling him I would probably get testy, because I don't like planning parties. And I did get testy, and the two of us bounce off each other ALL the time. We both pick up the energy and go with it, if we're not careful. So I was feeling it...let's just get married in Vegas and skip all this crap DANGIT we already mailed the invites.

Then we went to the venue: My sister's place. Found out that a relative on her husband's side owns large tables. Three round and two long. So that takes care of that. a HUGE relief. Stress cut in half. Then we took a look at the plantings in the yard and got a general idea of where things were going to be. There are already three large pots with healthy plants in the back, and some others in the front that we'll move to the back at the time. Wylie and I bought some garden mums and dianthus to add color.

Now we know where guests will be seated, where we will enter, where the refreshment table will be, and what the decor will be. The work still needs to be done, but having a good plan in place is HUGE. I'm so grateful for my sister's help. She's much more a hostess than I have ever been, and knew some of the things we'd need and has been so helpful with advice and making calls to people she knows. So I'm breathing a lot easier than I was when we set out yesterday.

The three day weekend...I ate off plan for a couple of things. Such as, some tortilla chips, a few fingerfuls of peanuts and M&M's, I had eggs over curried rice for breakfast one morning. But that's done now and I'm back on track. There's some habit I've been indulging, that I "allow" myself a "cheat" a day on weekends, and that's pretty much what I did. Probably too much, it being a three day weekend.

Back on track! going forward!

[bunsofaluminum]

Good grief! The scale has gone up two lbs and is staying there. Because I ate some raw almonds over the course of the week last week, and had some off plan eating over the weekend.

What have I learned from this. Besides QUIT INDULGING ON THE WEEKENDS...

I know from a decade of experience that nuts and all their products (nut butters, nut milks, etc) slow down my weight loss like flipping a switch. Also, I saw the scale go down after getting really serious in early July through August. BUT I was also eating salad daily, with a tofu/tahini dressing. High fat tofu plus why not just pour oil into it because tahini IS fat. This is making me sad though, because I've been enjoying salads, but I already know I won't eat salad with just balsamic on it. I like a creamy dressing. However, the high calorie dense ingredients are slowing my weight loss FOR SURE. So, eating a salad for dinner every day was great, but putting three TBSP of tofu based dressing, not so much. I may just quit salad, then. If the only whole food creamy salad dressing I can find is high fat, I have to commit to not eating it.

It is time to put it to the test. I've done this before, and lost weight. Between Sept 09 to about May of 2010 I took off 55 lbs. I kept it off by correcting whenever I allowed the lbs to creep back on. I corrected by going back to basics. So I know it works. The big difference between 2009 Heidi and 2019 Heidi is that now I am in menopause so I think I'll have to be much more disciplined about what I put in my mouth.

This works for pre-menopause me. I want to see if it will work for IN menopause me. But I have to be honest. Ten years ago, I was 100% gung ho, with a moderate Feast Day on T'giving and one on Xmas. For Christmas, e.g. I ate dates and pistachios as my feast foods, right? And I ate really rich for Thanksgiving FOR SURE. I remember specifically this nut based spread on baby romaine leaves that triggered my IBS badly. Anyway, all that to say: On a day by day basis, I was regimented and controlled. I did not have chocolate on the weekends, didn't consume "the occasional egg", stayed away from salty-crunchy, stayed away from creamy decadent. I kept baked potatoes on hand and munched them cold in my car thinking "I bet I look like I'm eating a bagel" For a snack, refried beans out of the can.

Yeah, one huge difference between 2009 me and 2019 me is the commitment. The first "break the diet" moment was Easter of 2010 when I had Reese's miniatures and triggered a couple of weeks' worth of binge treats. Gained 10 lbs pretty freaking quick. I remember looking at myself in the mirror at a client's house...the pants too tight, the belly bulging...and I got back to serious real quick. And the quickly gained weight went away. I kept the weight off, and lost a bit more even until I got to the weight I was in high school. But indulgence and off plan eating became a habit when Wylie came along and I piled on 60 lbs in half a year. Amazing how fast it was! But this time, instead of getting serious at the 10 lb mark, I just said "Dang, I'm gaining" and didn't change my ways.

Waking up this morning I thought about the Rice Diet that Dr. M mentions occasionally. The women he treated as needing radical treatment were not even 10 lbs more than I currently weigh. Regardless of the kidney disease or hypertension that he was aiming to help, the flat fact remains that I am AS OBESE as those he treated with a really restrictive regimen. And they lost weight. I do believe their hypertension and/or kidney issues were also relieved. He took away all choices and monitored them daily. They didn't have the option.

Okay. This feels better. I was upset for the two lbs. up but honestly thinking it through I know darn good and well I've been too lax about my food choices. Not that I'm going to start the Kempner Rice Diet (tempting, believe me) but...I have GOT to be more on top of it. Period.

No work out today...I really wore myself out yesterday and went to bed feeling it. You know you've done weight training when your armpits hurt I also fear that the recumbent bike might not be good for my foot. If I do about 10 minutes it's not too bad, but going for 15 or 20 minutes my foot is not happy.

Must. Lose. Weight.

[SilverDollar123]

I understand about the creamy salad dressing need. I use oil free hummus 2T. then put 1 garlic clove minced then
salsa mixed together,creamy&good. you can omit the garlic.Just as good. RAS

[AnnetteW]

I've been really pleased with the 3-2-1 dressing. Lately I'm using 1 T (actually 2T) of white vinegar, 2 t of dijon mustard, and 1 t. of maple syrup. Honestly, I don't measure, just plop it in a small container and shake well. I do try to keep the maple syrup to 1-2 t max. I do add salt and pepper. How about blended white beans for creaminess, or aquafaba (I have not tried that myself).

[bunsofaluminum]

I've been really pleased with the 3-2-1 dressing. Lately I'm using 1 T (actually 2T) of white vinegar, 2 t of dijon mustard, and 1 t. of maple syrup. Honestly, I don't measure, just plop it in a small container and shake well. I do try to keep the maple syrup to 1-2 t max. I do add salt and pepper. How about blended white beans for creaminess, or aquafaba (I have not tried that myself).

Yeah, been there. Done that. Don't like. LOL but the blended white beans added TO 321 dressing might be just the ticket! I'll have to give it a try

I understand about the creamy salad dressing need. I use oil free hummus 2T. then put 1 garlic clove minced then
salsa mixed together,creamy&good. you can omit the garlic.Just as good. RAS

Hmmm, actually hummus, thinned down a bit, would make a dandy salad dressing! Cool! two ideas for me to try! Thanks, gals

~~~

Awesome workout today! My word I feel good. I love the adductor/abductor machines. Love the abs machines, too although at one point, right when I wanted to work my abs, there were people already on the machines that I prefer, but I found one that was suitable. I worked every muscle group in my upper body, and then spent 15 minutes on the recumbent +5 min cool down. Heart rate at the mid 120's level which is PERFECT. Release the endorphinnnnnnnns!

Packed watermelon and oat clusters for brekkie, and three yellow potatoes for lunch. I'll be busy during my lunch break so I wanted to keep it simple and on plan.

[sirdle]

I love the adductor/abductor machines.

I'm with you! Those are my favourite machines!

[bunsofaluminum]

No workout today. Somehow or other my knee is flaring up. Maybe because we got some wet weather overnight, but it's been hurting.

Food yesterday was atypical and on plan.

B: Watermelon and oat clusters
S: cucumber
L: three nuked potatoes and a can of garbanzo beans ( may do this again...nothing like plain old garbanzo beans)
D: Thai curried rice; broccoli.

Today
B: watermelon and oat clusters
S: cucumber
L: cowboy caviar and quinoa over spinach
D: maybe some soup since it's wet and cool today!

Stress levels are kinda high in my home life, with Wylie and my mom constantly butting heads. Two control freaks, having at it while I stand by and watch the fur fly. Which is why I actually DID buy some extra dark chocolate and plan on having some as needed. We may need to find a solution other than renting from her. Heaven help me, I do not want to MOVE AGAIN! But we did find a counselor who has given us some tools for communicating better. Going to work on that. We'll see. I've also been researching things and finally found something useful about anxiety being the root of people who feel they must control things always and in all ways. Any insight helps, and I've been looking for answers for a while, off and on. Now to get the courage to speak up now and then. Ugh.

At work, the training for the new team has started, and we'll be moving desks next week. I'm SO HAPPY about that! My micro-manager will no longer be ticking over every minute of my time on or off the phones. Heh. I have to share this.

So, we have two 15 minute breaks and one hour long lunch break (off the clock) per day. My boss took me aside recently to point out that I had come back late from my breaks several times in the past six months. Yeah, like a half dozen or so, I guess? And she was only counting those times I was over 3 minutes late getting back, right? I already knew I'd had a weird week, with three late returns. I told her I'd do better, and then she told me about how she was up until 3:00 a.m. trying to get all the e-documents entered correctly, and then she got up at 6:00 a.m. and came to work, and then she was up again until 2:00 a.m. with work...etc, etc.

RIGHT AFTER going over the minutiae on my adherence report...incidentally, she creates 12 of these every week, one for each team member, and she picks through EVERY detail on EVERY adherence report...well, Bossy, how DID you find the time to make our adherence reports and pore over them with a fine toothed comb? A task, BTW, that is not required by corporate or any other entity in the company. She made it up, and there is no reason for it other than the fact that she gets off on the details. Can't see the forest for the trees? She can't see the freaking TREES, for the little bits of fungus, dead pine needles, and dung on the ground that she is constantly picking through.

Well, since going over a three minutes "late" from break is officially "an incident" (and she did mention a write up) I became very exact with my returns from break time. Yes indeed. If going more than three minutes over break time is an "incident" I made sure to be back on the phones at 17:30 EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. until I got bored with it. But it was kinda fun seeing two adherence reports with 17:30 on all my breaks! hahahahhahaha!

Good grief, my life is FULL of control freaks! arrrrgh!

yet my eating continues on plan, and is getting cleaner all the time.

PROUD OF ME!

[bunsofaluminum]

Awesome workout today. Something happened last week that got my knee really bad. It has been quite painful for days, and I have no idea what caused it. But last night I hyper flexed it, which hurt like ANYTHING...and today it's feeling almost normal. This is quite frustrating to be honest, because it's just so dang random. Sometimes my knee hurts after a yoga routine. I have wondered a few times if the recumbent was causing it...but this time, I didn't do anything different from usual, and my knee was SO painful, and so was my foot.

We did have wet weather...hmmmm...but anyway, my knee isn't hurting today. *shrug* and I put in 20 minutes strength, 20 min cardio. I'll go in tomorrow for cardio for sure.

Eating pretty good. I ate out Friday night and had the MOST DELICIOUS pile of veggies at a Mexican restaurant. I ordered a veggie fajita and received probably three cups of veggies, a huge variety. Potatoes, spinach, cabbage, carrots, tomatoes, and all coated with a luscious enchilada sauce. It was SO GOOD, and of course had oil. I could feel it on my lips. *sigh* But it gave me a terrific idea for future meals

[bunsofaluminum]

Another amazing workout yesterday. I didn't get a chance to post here but it felt really good, and now that the gym is in a central location, NOT on my way to work, I can go work out early, and get back for a shower and get ready for work, to be to work by 9:00. And starting Monday, my shift will start at 7:00 a.m. which means working out after work. Starting that early also means bringing brekkie AND lunch. BUT things are starting to get moving at my job. Today they are moving our desks, the Medicare CARE team over near the Marketplace CARE team. Mucho training coming at me, and we go live on Monday, the 16th I'm pretty excited about this, to tell the truth. It seems like my job will be much more active, and interactive and that's good.

There's a real truth to the idea that the leader "flavors" the group, and that is my observation here. The job I had before this one was pretty much the most boring, task-wise, that I've ever had. I was a Caption Call communications assistant which meant sitting at a desk that was not my own, logging in, and translating telephone calls into readable captions, for the hearing impaired. We were literally wired to our desks by headset. There were dozens of people if not hundreds, at any given time, most of them familiar faces but I didn't know names, per se. BUT...the area manager had his office in our building and he knew my name before the end of my second week. We had fun at our monthly team meetings, even if we never saw each other during a shift (because we none of us had our own desk, and shifts were staggered) and I remember many times walking in to work and saying hi to five different people before even swiping my badge. The friendly, outgoing leadership of the highest ranking manager in our building made the whole experience bearable, because his friendliness seeped into the entire group.

Now here I am in a tiny team, where we all know each other's names, see each other every day, and barely nod at each other at the beginning of our shifts. There's some visiting, but Bossy (my boss) wants us quiet on the floor. For the most part at this job, I've come in, got sat down at my desk, and interacted minimally with team members. Once a month we have our meeting, and there's usually a team building exercise (lead by a team lead, not Bossy) which can be fun. We used to sit in cubicles with high walls, and Bossy COMPLETELY banned talking "over" but if we went to a cubicle to visit, she couldn't stand that, either. Well, we moved to cubes with lower walls, that you can stand up and see everyone, plus we were closer together. But we still didn't visit much. Work has been pretty boring, and I was overall "blah" if not mildly depressed. I mean, thank goodness for my clean eating, because I didn't slip into that pit altogether.

But then another team moved in on the opposite end of our floor, and they stood around chatting and laughing at the beginning of the day. And still got their work done! They also put up the cutest decor. Pictures of team members on the manager's wall; a huge mandala. Two big stuffed giraffes guard the coffee area one, wearing sequined Minnie Mouse Giraffe ears (or a tiara, depending) I don't know about the rest of the team, but I noticed the difference in the atmosphere "over there" right away. People seemed happier, and they seem to like each other. AND THAT'S WHERE I'M MOVING TO! My new boss will be the manager of THAT team! and maybe when I come in the door it won't be like walking into a low level hell.

~~~

Down a pound! Finally below the 238 mark Yesterday's food was pretty spare. Watermelon and oat clusters for brekkie; green pea gloop over spinach and some snap peas for lunch; a bowl of not chicken, not noodle soup (yummmmy!) no seconds. I had a small section of extra dark chocolate, nibbled throughout the day. I thought I might want more of that soup, but I didn't feel hungry at all, so I didn't. Anyway, I ate at 7:30 I suppose, and woke up not much hungry, but empty for sure and weighed! Me=smart

And the scale crept down a titch. There.

[bunsofaluminum]

Ahh, the energy! I woke up a little after 5:00 and made an early trip to the gym. SO NICE! About half the usual crowd. Put in 50 minutes between strength and cardio. I love it when I wake up early and wide awake. I mean, staying in bed and snuggling is lovely, but being awake and up before anyone else is SUPER lovely.

New desk at work, and it is so nice being among the friendly We also just launched a new telephony software so that's fun getting used to, at the same time learning the duties in the new team. But I'm up to it. Never felt better in my life!

100% compliant all week long! heading for a weekend of the same. Woot!

[bunsofaluminum]

Weekend was good. We got our wedding cake lined up so I had several bites of a variety of flavors. I also ate some orange bread that a friend of my mom gave us, in honor of my gramma's birthday on sept 14. She would have been 115 years old. And you DON'T refuse some of THAT treat.

Otherwise, all my food was on plan, no refined, minimal processing, all weekend

And Sunday morning, the scale was up two lbs!

New shift at work means gym time in the afternoon, not the morning. Oh yay. New boss at work also means not feeling guilty for taking a Health Break or going off phones for personal reasons. It is so much more relaxed on the new team! Even the view of a little clock on the wall is an improvement over the weird homemade print ups and foam board decorations I used to have in my face.

[frowsyowl]

Just stopping to say Hello! Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and good luck with everything, work, and the rest!

[AnnetteW]

You are in a nice positive space right now. It shows in your postings.

Food, exercise, family, work, wedding....it's nice to hear.

Enjoy your week.

[bunsofaluminum]

Thanks Owl and Annette We're keeping the wedding day as simple as possible and it is STILL so complicated! ack! me=not a party planner.

Just wanted to note a few things about my food lately. Breakfast has been the same thing every weekday morning for weeks: Watermelon and oat clusters. I think the last watermelon of the season is almost gone now, so I've got to choose other fruit, but I LOVE the oat clusters. They're pretty easy to make in huge batches so I only have to bake once a week for those.

Lunches and dinners have been a starch over spinach with veggies and some sauce or other. For instance yesterday's lunch was baked potato chunks over spinach with a little bit of Ragu plain marinara ("Lower calorie" has no added oil, though a bit salty) Dinner last night was stir fry vegs over rice with a soy sauce based Thai sort of sauce over everything. The sauce has some pnut butter in it (savory) so it's higher density, but with maybe a TBSP of that sauce over a whole pile of food (2.5 cups ish?) I'm not too worried. And I made enough for leftovers so that's lunch today, as well.

Point being, I'm keeping it simple. And I'm eating spinach for at least one meal every day, most days two meals. Greens are SO important. Basically I put down a bed of spinach, load at least a cup of starch (rice or potatoes 99.99% of the time) and then some veggies, microwave, then most times some kind of seasoning (soy sauce, marinara sauce, ketchup and mustard is good w.potatoes, etc) Done.

I'll probably make a big batch of Moroccan sweet potato stew good for a few dinners and lunches. I baked 3/4 of a 10# bag of potatoes, so that might just be my starch for a while. Simple is good.

[bunsofaluminum]

On Weight Fluctuations or "How I Learned to Laugh at the Scale"

This morning I eased myself up onto the scale, one toenail at a time, then a toe, then one foot. Slowly, slowly I came to a full stand with both feet on the scale, easing the gauge so gradually upward. And it stopped at 235! Which is two lbs down from the last loss (and 4 lbs down from the recent up fluctuation) My recent history with the scale, starting back in about mid-May when I had been bingeing and indulging myself, frothing away in the Pleasure Trap after Easter...Pre holiday, starting in January, I tracked things a little bit better, trying and falling, starting and stopping, with compliant eating, I was weighing in at about 242. Then I went nuts in April/May and didn't weigh myself at all, while putting Lindor balls and potato chips and buttered popcorn in my face. (along with pretty compliant meals, mind you) When I weighed in May I was at 250, and I was DONE. Stopped eating all the SAD treats, and though I still wasn't fully committed to Zero Processed, the 8 lbs I'd gained came off really fast.

I was back down to 242 by the end of May. And there I stuck.Though I still went off track pretty often, I never did go back to daily truffles and Rrrrruffles. But yeah, on weekends especially I simply allowed myself all the things. And my weight stayed at 242.

I started getting really serious with things when I came across that calorie density chart that lumped breads and crackers in with processed fake meats and cheeses. For some reason, that really turned on the switch for me, and on July 10 I decided Zero Processed food. Period. And have been easily 95% compliant day in and day out, since then. I weighed 242 ish when I FINALLY started being serious, and today I weigh 235, right? That's 7 lbs in 10 weeks. SMH

Slowly, sloooowly (isn't there a sexy Elton John song with slowly lyrics?)

And I think I know how it is going to be for me now. If I want to lose weight, I cannot have ANY added fat, and I must also stay away from high fat foods. In fact, even low fat processed foods: breads, pastas, crackers...OUT. The first thing in my daily diet that I dropped back in early July was the saltines I had been eating as a snack with my cucumber slices. I also stopped eating Bel Vita biscuits for breakfast (8 gm fat!?! )

Anyway, the scale is moving downward, albeit at a glacial pace. But downward is the direction I want it to go. Weighing frequently, if not daily, is an important part of this, too. When the scale showed up 2 lbs the other day I said "pfft whatevs" and went on with my day. Tis to laugh, old scale, old bean!

Honeymoon coming up will be a challenge. I have to make a plan, and bringing my own baked potatoes can't be part of that plan. We may have a microwave and fridge in the room, but we're also going to be out to shows, seeing the sights, up in a chopper, a day trip to Hoover Dam and I do want to eat out. That's part of the fun of it, eh? I'll choose as carefully as possible for every meal, and I will allow myself something decadent a time or two. "Is it worth the fat grams" will be at the front of my mind.