In fact, one of the difficult things about this all is how inhuman the attacker seemed. He was like a monster, and in fact my dreams that night were full of him as a monster, or as a perturbed animal. I love people, and I value human beings as HUMAN...made in God's image, worthy of respect and dignity...but not this guy. He was horrible, and he remains horrible in my mind. Not "deeply wounded and to be pitied" but EW GET HIM AWAAAAAY! that is not a good place to be, and it is something I'll have to work through.
So, there is a lingering low level stress from that trauma on Sunday night, plus work has been a bit edgy this week. Yesterday was one of "those days" with difficult calls, bossy bosses at stressful rushed meetings, unhappy coworkers, and feeling a tiny bit "thrown under the bus" by a team lead who remembers some things differently than I do, and a software system that nobody likes because IT SUCKS.
And that's enough of that. It isn't much fun feeling that build up in my neck and shoulders, but I don't have to let it affect me. I'll just do my job and keep a low profile today. I got finished with a kind of largish project yesterday so today should be a breeze, task-wise. Morale-wise...hm. Just breathe, eh? And remember the value of gratefulness. I know that I can literally change my mind by thinking about the wonderful blessings abounding in my life. After a good cry
so...last night I made Congee rice, using brown rice. OMG so good! One cup of brown rice, 10 cups of liquid (water and vegetable broth) plus two chunks of fresh ginger and some salt and about 2 hours of slow cooking turned out a yield of more than six cups of soft, warm, flavorful, gooey rice porridge! And it can go toward a sweet/dessert/breakfast or savory as a dinner or lunch. YUM! I'll do that again for sure! I cut up half a dozen mushrooms, a green onion, and put in a small handful of frozen berries this morning for brekkie. And I'm still thinking about it.
Now...so far I'm not hungry again which I expected, it being rice and all...but nope. Not an issue three hours later (and believe me, sometimes with oatmeal I AM hungry by this time in the morning) but we'll see how 10:30 feels. Either way, it is still a luscious, delicious food that I plan on making again.
but the office feels less prickly today, too. It was an unhappy place for a couple of days. New boss, flexing her muscles. Arghhhh! Now the dust has settled and everyone is just doing their job. 
Gonna be SO much fun! What a blessing it is to have a brother and sister who are my good friends. My family entirely is good. We have our strange little quirks, and a huge disagreement politically with our current Toddler in Chief...some of us like him, some of us don't, and we disagree heartily, but we don't fight about it...isn't that GRAND!... and people coming in on a "high holiday" like Thanksgiving or St Patrick's Day with the whole family there might sit and observe, shaking their heads ever so slightly at our silliness, but DANG I have a good family. 
like I want to stick close to the toilet. And I can't figure out why. My eating has been really good. Nothing oily, I didn't eat a brownie from yesterday's bday celebration at work, no dairy. Maybe the barley soup. My digestion has had difficulty with that in the past. It's an unpleasant place to be. But i think I fried my guts during the holidays and am still recuperating from that. Oh, for a normal poop!
and put myself back into the obese category at a weight that I NEVER thought I'd be again. He is not cruel, and he's told me that it's okay, and he is still physically affectionate. We enjoy each other in a genuinely good way. BUT...my winter coat is too small for my butt these days, so I don't zip it up. He casually said"too fat, eh?" and I simply said "Yep" (because it truly doesn't hurt my feelings...I'm fat, I know it, I am in zero denial about the reasons or what I actually look like and feel like.) and we've talked about it here and there. How he's put on seven pounds since we met and I've gained two jeans sizes. garrrr! 
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