Journal of my journey

Share your daily McDougall menus and/or keep a journal describing your personal progress.

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Re: Journal of my journey

Postby Idgie » Thu Dec 06, 2018 9:32 am

Nancy, this is the best and most hopeful thing I've read in days. Woo-hoo!
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Re: Journal of my journey

Postby Rosey » Thu Dec 06, 2018 10:57 pm

Sounds like your ready to make that scale go the right direction. you got this!!! Doing home repairs is so fun to me. I'm working on my Kitchen.
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Re: Journal of my journey

Postby Morris » Mon Dec 10, 2018 7:55 am

December 10, 2018

Oh, my last post did not seem to post - oh well. We are working on getting the house painted. We are trying not to rush it because we have had so many negative emotions associated with moving back into it that we don't want to see a lot of 'oops, I missed a spot." It is taking so much time and effort.

I am spending so much time taping and retaping the trim work and my old body is feeling it, especially the hips. But then I did that 5k running challenge and I think that I did not spend enough time with the post run stretching.

I am trying to fix meals before I start, what I have been making is boiled dinner (cabbage, potato, carrot and onion) and split pea soup (Chef AJ's recipe).

My weight is up a bit, but I am munching on graham crackers right before I go to sleep. I think I need to do that no eating after supper. I also need to pay attention to my water intake.

I have posted that I can stick with a plan with my exercising, but just cannot seem to get with it with my eating. I am on the verge of getting frustrated with myself. But tell myself that it is a new day - it's always a new day with me. UGH!
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Re: Journal of my journey

Postby bunsofaluminum » Tue Dec 11, 2018 12:26 pm

I'm proud of you for sticking to your exercise routine. That's a HUGE challenge for me. Consistency is easier for me in almost any other category of life, but exercise just...I must have a mental block or something. And yes, every day IS a new day! thank goodness for that :nod:
JUST DON'T EAT IT

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Re: Journal of my journey

Postby Morris » Wed Dec 12, 2018 9:21 am

December 12, 2018

Weight is coming down a bit and my eating is getting better. Graham crackers are still calling out to me at night. I always kept them around for s'mores, but it's too cold now to sit around the campfire and the grandkids aren't here as much and it was always fun to roast the marshmellows with them. They love watching them catch on fire. :nod: I will not buy more when they are gone - that way I won't be able to eat them.

Funny, how chocolate used to be my I cannot control what I am eating, but as I was going through the pantry the other day, I found 2 six-packs of Hershey's chocolate bars. Guess they don't appeal to me anymore. Gives me hope for the rest of the s'more components.

I am trying to find a balance between my exercise and getting that painting done. It is taking so long, but then we have to do the whole house. We have chosen completely different colors. Finished what is going to be the "media room" we chose a darker blue because we figured we'd have the lights down low with tv on. It is a small room, but the blue is relaxing in an odd sort of way.

We picked a gray for the hallway and one of the bedroom, it is a bit darker than on off-white but seems to change color depending on the lighting - it goes from looking white, to silver or blue. It is a great color for the bedroom because it has a calming effect. That is the room where an incident happened that we struggle with our emotions whenever we walked into it - so it is great that the different color is giving us a different effect on us emotionally.

We picked a yellowish color for the kitchen - it is a happy color and I am so glad for that. The color was called golden nectar and it is not a scream in your face color and it seems to have a feel-good effect when I walk in the door. The dining room and living room will be a peachy color.

We seem to be doing some color therapy with the house. But we are now getting to the point where we are looking forward to getting the house ready for us to move in. We are letting go of the anger and negative emotions but still have flare-ups. I get mine whenever my daughter calls - she has always taken pleasure in upsetting people. Son-in-law is just a jerk (or that other word that had become a part of my vocabulary) and is attempting to cut us out of his life -- after all we did to help him - ungrateful little twit. But it is just as well, because he pushed it too far and now, there is no going back to any decent relationship with him, because our guard will always be up around him. We are also finding out some things about him from the neighbors - WOW! were we so naive about his personality. All I will say here is --- not a nice person.

Reminds me of this sweet lady we met at Fresh Thyme the other day. She came up the aisle singing a Christmas Carol and I had an ear worm of a particular song going through my head, so I commented on how I do not even like the Christmas season and yet these songs are playing in head. I then told her why - I worked at a catalog company in customer service for 5 years and hated Nov -January because I was always being screamed at because some one did not get their package on time. I stopped celebrating the season for years after that.

Well, this lady said, "Oh people like that make me be nicer. I figure it is so sad that they have to act that way and then they have to live with themselves the rest of day." What a great attitude, not to let someone else's nasty attitude affect her in a negative manner.
I am coming to the conclusion that my being angry with them is not having any affect on them at all, only my well-being. Time for me to let it go!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU
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Re: Journal of my journey

Postby bunsofaluminum » Wed Dec 12, 2018 11:56 am

That is some profound wisdom, from the woman singing carols in the grocery aisle. I had a friend who used to go out on Black Friday, not to shop, but to go through the checkout with one item, just for the opportunity to be kind to the cashiers. Bless their hearts, the people who have to put up with the special kind of nastiness that only merry xmas shoppers can bring. I have had a problem with the season for years because of it, myself. And I never had to deal with customers. Just rubbing elbows in a packed out mall is enough for me!

Anyway, I love how you describe the colors in your house. The off-white/gray sounds so serene, and yes! I love yellow in a kitchen. It's going to be so nice when you finish it and can move back in! you should be proud of yourself. :nod:
JUST DON'T EAT IT

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Re: Journal of my journey

Postby Morris » Thu Dec 13, 2018 6:36 am

December 13, 2018

I had a better eating day yesterday:
coffee
Riced Cauliflower Oatmeal with blueberries and Triple Berry Mix

Split Pea Soup
Peanut Butter and Jelly Toast

Cave Man Coconut Almond Bar x 2

Shredded Wheat with banana and cashew/hemp milk

I definitely see areas that I can improve on. Less nuts and more veggies. But no graham crackers

Plus I had a busy day. I spent the morning doing outside work - I said it is 28°F out and since it is warm, I am going to get some of the yard work done. Then I painted the ceiling in the house -- that took me longer than expected; talk about a kink in the neck. Ran out of paint, so I did not get it done completely. Started at 9:30 in the morning and finished at 8:30 at night. I did take a break for lunch and a nap.

I am watching a video by Homemade Wanderlust while she hikes the CDT - on episode 7 she encounters a mountain lion - what does she do? She pulls out her harmonica and plays a tune. :eek: One lucky lady there! She is such an inspiration, wonderful attitude. Episode 12 - has a lesson about finding good in every situation instead of grumbling and having a bad attitude. "Today is a new day."
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Re: Journal of my journey

Postby Morris » Fri Dec 14, 2018 7:20 am

December 14, 2018

Yesterday, I started my day with eating the way I should -
coffee
Riced Cauliflower with blueberries and triple berries
peanut butter and jelly whole wheat bread - x 1 (I cut back a bit and only ate one)

water

Red Lentil Stew over basmati rice

Then we went to grandson #2's school concert. All that is fine, but I was unaware of a conflict going on between hubby and daughter #2 - GAWD!!! I am so tired of all this drama - you'd think I am stuck living in middle school with all this drama going on. Tension and emotions flared up - hubby brought D2's SO into the mix. My frustration mounted - And the worst part is, because of hubby's attitude, I did not even get to say goodbye to GS2. Sometimes hubby is such a selfish jerk, but of course, it wasn't his fault it was all D2's fault. The reality is that he started this whole issue, but I cannot convince him of that - so I just keep my mouth shut and ...

-- Subway Veggie delight and a family sized bag of chips for dinner. And a small bag of Reisen's Chocolate covered caramels (haven't had those for a while)

Okay, I know the chips did nothing to alleviate the stress and frustration I was feeling. But I ate them mindfully, paying particular attention to the fatty oily mouth feel and loving the salty tingle on my tongue. I am giving myself credit for eating them in two sittings and not one. UGH!

On the brighter side of things: granddaughter 1 (GD1) is coming for a visit this weekend. We are going to go to the Wreaths for the Fallen Ceremony.

My planned eating for today is:
coffee
riced oatmeal with berries

leftover lentil stew with rice
salad with sweet kale mix

Fortunately, I ate all the junk food so at least I won't be tempted with that. I am unsure of what I'll plan for dinner with GD1 here.
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Re: Journal of my journey

Postby Morris » Sun Dec 16, 2018 7:09 am

December 16, 2018

Man! I just spent 45 minutes typing my post and hit some button on my keyboard and WHAM@! all the words disappeared. A lot of times that happens when I am too negative and I guess it is a way of getting things out of my system.

I accidentally clicked on my first page of my journal and saw that I had my Instant Pot for 4 years now. 4 Years!! my, oh, my, where has the time gone? Seems like yesterday since I got that appliance. I also noted that I made Chef AJ's Split Pea Soup recipe - so, if anyone is wondering, YES, that recipe is a keeper.

An overuse injury flared up in my wrist with all that painting I am doing, so yesterday was a no painting day and I wore my splint to give it a rest. I ran about 3 miles on the treadmill, went to the Wreaths for the Fallen ceremony. They put wreaths on all the headstone at the Veteran's Cemetery. It is so pretty when all the wreaths are put in place. Both my father-in-law and mother-in-law are laid to rest there.

Afterwards, I went hiking with GD1. We went to the state park to check out the backpacking sights. They have 4 sights where you have to hike in about 1.25 miles. I heard that to get ready for backpacking that you should start carrying your pack with whatever you are going to carry so you get used to it. So, since we have been slowly getting my gear, I loaded up my pack (about 25 pounds) and carried that to see how I'd do. I survived and even was able to walk at a good pace despite the hills.

The second sight we looked at I commented on how it was going to be a pain coming back because we were walking downhill to it. But on the way back GD1 said, "Hills are good for you. They make you strong." Yeah, right, not very convincing, girl. ;)

I use an alcohol stove for cooking when camping and discovered that, while it was warm for December, 40°F, it was too cold for the alcohol to catch - that meant we were not able to have the meal we planned for our hike. We ended up having a candy bar and orange juice. But we had our meal once we returned home - dehydrated Vegetable Curry with Rice. I discovered that during the dehydration a lot of the curry flavoring was lost. I guess I'll need to add more for the next batch I make.

I miss not having GD1 living next door. It was fun doing something with her. She says she wants to do the backpacking trip with me this next summer. We might have to ease into it by doing a walk in (about 100 -200 yards from parking) first so we can get used to the noises in the dark, but have a quick way out if we get too scared. But, she may be getting a job, so we'll see what happens. Either way, I am going to do it this summer.

See, I can plan and prepare for things - so why in the world can I not get with this whole food plant based way of eating and get rid of the junk? Sometimes I get so frustrated with myself, but these past few months were so stressful and I had so much stress eating that it is taking me a while to get my mindset where it needs to be to get back with it. These extra pounds that found me again seem to be hanging on with such a tight grip that I am feeling the aches and pains again - Awww! Motivation is returning, that is what got me started on this journey in the first place.

So, here's to a new day -
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Re: Journal of my journey

Postby Idgie » Sun Dec 16, 2018 9:52 am

I love it when people turn frustration into motivation. Way to go!
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Re: Journal of my journey

Postby Morris » Tue Dec 18, 2018 8:36 am

December 18, 2018

I am waiting for my country blend cereal mix (cracked wheat, cracked rye. cracked wild rice and flax seed) to cook. The flax seeds are whole. Aren't these not digested and just pass through? If so, why even add? Extra fiber? I don't know, but that is the way the mix came.

I painted yesterday for six hours. That is just the first coast in the main living area, I'll have to do it again. It is taking me so long to get this job done. But, we are taking our time and attempting to do it right so we don't get frustrated looking at all our flaws.

I need to do the ceiling in the 2 main living areas, bathroom and 1 bedroom. Second coat the living areas, paint the bedroom and bathroom. The bathroom is going to be frustrating because we have to replace the cabinets - we just want to start fresh so we aren't reminded of the frustrations we have had. It is amazing how little things trigger ill-emotions. Are we suffering from a mild case of PTSD?

It was amazing how the color affected us. As I was painting, I was noticing how different the house was "feeling". We were unsure of the color (sort of an orange yellow) but it had different shades with different lighting. But most important, it had a calming effect. As the sun went down and we dimmed the lights, it was like being around a campfire at dusk. Now, I want to camping -- when I am finished and we get our stuff up there, my celebration is going camping and I hope there will be snow on the ground so I can try out my new snowshoes.

I am looking forward to getting on track with my eating. I am getting tired of this self=sabotage I am doing. I just need to be firm and stick to my decision to eat better. Just wanting to do is not going to get results I need to "JUST DO IT". Hubby is not going to get on board, so there is no point is hoping he'll come around and join me. Every time I mention it and ask him, he makes it a point to eat worse than what he was doing - I do not know if it is intentional or if it is my imagination. But every time he throws candy bars and chips in the cart, my mind replays him telling me, "I cannot eat healthy because you eat too much junk."

I guess that I am doing the same thing and using his eating junk as my excuse to do so also. I am getting tired of eating junk that makes me feel tired. Eating whole foods gives me more energy and a better attitude -- I need to focus on that.

What I am eating today:
coffee
Country Blend cereal mix (1 cup cooked, prepared with water)
1/2 cup riced cauliflower
1/2 cup blueberries
1/2 cup Triple Berry Mix

So far, so good... going out for lunch with my parents - hopefully we will go to Bonaza where I can eat off the salad bar (and hopefully make decent choices) We usually order the lunch special - that way I get a baked potato and I top it with whatever I find on the salad bar.

Send me positive vibes that I can stick with it today -- I need to make it through 1 day to give me the mental fortitude to be strong in my decision.
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Re: Journal of my journey

Postby bunsofaluminum » Tue Dec 18, 2018 10:45 am

Gosh that glowing color sounds wonderful! Yellow is my favorite color, but I've never gotten up the nerve to have a room full of it! I hope you get to that salad bar. It's my favorite thing to eat out, as well. A baked potato and load that baby up with all the greens and veggies! woot!

keep us posted.
JUST DON'T EAT IT

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Re: Journal of my journey

Postby Morris » Thu Dec 20, 2018 8:47 am

December 20, 2018

OMG! When I entered the house yesterday, just as the sun was coming up, there was such a calming glow. I put the second coat of paint on the walls and that seemed to intensify the "oranginess" and it pulled the blue out of the hallway color. I cannot wait until we get our furniture in there. We are aiming for the first of the new year.

We went to a cabinet maker yesterday, to get the cupboard door fixed that SIL put his fist through and ordered custom made vanity for the bathroom - our grandson used the drawers as a ladder so those are all busted and it needs to be replaced. Having a custom made one was about the same price as what was now on sale at Menard's.

We are still having bouts of frustration and anger, but it seems to be less frequent. This has really been a lesson for me in how emotions affect what I eat. Most important, I have learned what I think has a huge impact on my emotions. I am learning it is vital to control what I think.

This reminds me of the introduction of the Beck Diet solution where it is stated that every action first begins with a thought. I am constantly reminding myself that the condition of the house could have been a lot worse considering our daughter and SIL's attitude that they have toward us. Other than saying, we cannot help you financially anymore, I have no idea why SIL turned on us. Yes, I do - this experience gave me a lesson on dealing with narcissism - from the videos I watched, he display a classic example of that behavior. And, I also learned the behavior that an ungrateful attitude will produce.

I am examining my eating patterns and realize that I am still having some bingeing issues, mostly at night. Is this the cram effect? There were some cookies open on the counter, I only ate a serving instead of the whole packet - progress for me. I wasn't really hungry when I ate them, I just ate them because they were there.

I was going through my files on my computer and saw a 4-week Forks Over Knives eating plan -- hey! I had dismissed this one in the past, but I am now realizing this is just what I need to get through this transition I am attempting. The idea behind this plan is to make the transition gradually, one meal at a time each week:
Week One - Breakfast
Week Two - Breakfast and Lunch
Week Three - Breakfast Lunch and Dinner
Week Four - Breakfast Lunch Dinner and Snacks

Now, I am like, "YES! I can do this plan." I can start my day with whole food plant based for breakfast. As a matter of fact, that is how I start my day. If I eat lunch at home, that is what I eat. My dinners are WFPB also. Snacking is my issue, but if I follow this plan, I can have 3 weeks of success (provided I pay attention to what I eat when hubby wants to go out to eat). That will give me three weeks to get my snacking to change to good food, real food.

This plan might be the boost to my morale that I need to get with the plan and stick with it because it should be full of successes instead of "I blew it and went off plan." It gives me three weeks to get my mindset where it ought to be.
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Re: Journal of my journey

Postby Morris » Fri Dec 21, 2018 6:35 am

December 21, 2018

Two rooms to go and clean up, then we are ready to start moving in. It is going to be so nice to have more room. One thing I am looking forward to is having a dining room table - where we are now is so small that we eat off of folding trays. Plus all the counter space that kitchen will have - I cannot wait to be able to spread out all my preparation items when I am cooking. Soon, very soon.

Tomorrow I am getting together with my family (parents and siblings) for the holiday meal. I need to make a Maple Chiffon cake for my dad - it is his favorite cake and I inherited the cake pan with the condition I make this cake for him. It uses 8 eggs. I will be bringing a "greens" salad and will go there early to help make the meal so my mom won't have to do much.

This is going to be a bittersweet gathering - it is going to most likely be our last holiday get together in the house, the house I grew up in, the house my dad built. We lived in it while he was building because he built it in stages. It is going to be so weird not being able to go back home.

D1 stopped by on her way home from taking GS1 to the doctor, he is being tested for seizures. He has had an episode in August and again this month. he is the one that has a severe reaction to food dyes - caramel coloring will give him a silent seizure. He is the one that ate the healthiest because he avoided food dyes and therefore eliminated a lot of junk food, although this past year, they were giving him a lot of overly processed foods for his lunch. Plus they eat a lot of pizza. -- But it was good to see him again and we are making arrangements to have him for a couple of days next week during the school break. Hoping either for snow on the ground so we can go sledding or mild weather so we can "bushcraft" and make some type of shelter in the yard.

I remember my parents sledding with us when I was growing up, but never my grandparents. Imagine the memories I have made with my grandchildren: races, sledding, camping, looking for Bigfoot", etc...

Stepped on the scale this morning and my weight is finally moving on the downside again, Yesterday, I started my morning with greens and fruit. But then pigged out on seem bread that hubby bought. It is just because it was right there and I was too lazy to make something else. this is a lesson for me to learn about having food prepped and ready to eat. If I would have had something ready to eat, I could have grabbed that for convenience sake.

It was my turn to coordinate the Share A Meal - community dinner where groups come in and feed whoever shows up For dinner, I ate the potatoes and carrots, but they were prepared with butter and oil, plus I ate some cookies.

I am still reading Breaking the Food Seduction by Neal Barnard. Since this is an older book, I wonder if he has different recommendation to his meal plan -- all these plans have little tweaks to make them all different. Glancing ahead, I see this plan has 8 serving of grains (6 of the 8 should be whole grains), 3 serving of legumes, 4 serving of vegetables 3 servings of fruit and 1 serving sweet, no more than 1 gram of fat and 100 calories.

I am starting my day with:
coffee
greens
fruit
riced cauliflower oatmeal.

Planning on spaghetti squash topped with sauce and beans for lunch/dinner
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Re: Journal of my journey

Postby Morris » Sat Dec 22, 2018 7:12 am

December 22, 2018

I have so much to do today and here I sit in front of my computer with my cup(s) of coffee - priorities. I bought some elderberries yesterday, I heard they are good to have on hand in the flu season, I am hoping they will make a good tasting tea. I don't usually get sick, but I have been under so much stress and plan on having the grandchildren visit me this winter that I thought I'd get some to have on hand, just in case.

GD2, she is 3 three years old and wants to visit. We have not done much with her because she needs that extra attention and I have been too busy doing things around the house and yard that it had been hard to take her for a few days. But she is noticing that we take her brother and is starting to realize she is missing out. It will be so fun to start creating memories with her also.

I made it through 2 meals with compliant eating yesterday. I am realizing that I do not even have a mental focus when I am shopping and grabbing junk food -- I just think I want _____ and I buy it without much thought. Except that I do know that I am having thoughts and the reality is that I am not really liking those thoughts because they are against my better judgment.

Self- sabotage - it is so easy to do and so hard to stop. I think part of this came from the phone call I received from GD1 yesterday, (you know the bad seed), we offered to bring GS1 for a few days next week and said she would drop him off and pick him up because she would be driving this way. Well, her plans changed and she wanted me to bring him home instead. I asked her why she wasn't going to get him and she yells at me "Because I do not plan on going down there," So, I snapped back and said, "Well, I don't plan on driving up there. I can play that same game." - Ahhh, she realized I was onto her little game. We agreed to meet halfway.

My mood was altered after that phone call - I am beginning to agree with hubby that we need to cut off contact with them. It is an emotional roller coaster every time we talk to them. Fortunately, SIL is cutting us out of his life so we don't have to deal with him. I feel bad because it is family, but I don't deserve to be treated this way, especially after all the help we gave them and put up with their lies and selfishness.

I need to get a grip on my emotions -- eating chips and candy is not going to make me feel better. Eating greens helps me both physically and emotionally. Lately, when I started my day with compliant foods, then went up to the house and painted and went past lunch time, I noticed that I really wasn't all that hungry. Sometimes, in the past when I attempted to get compliant, I noticed that I become obsessed with food and how my stomach is feeling. I give Joel Fuhrman credit for that with his toxic hunger and true hunger is felt in the throat. And then their is that Beck Diet Solution exercise to learn the difference between hunger and craving. I think I give it too much thought. I guess that is why it is recommended by so many to distract yourself when you have a craving or want to eat something you know is not that good for you.

One thing that is missing is the "I just want to eat for the sake of eating." I don't think I eat all the time because of hunger or a craving. I eat just because I want to eat. That is where my calories come in. I am wondering if this is part of that "Cram Circuit" by Doug Lisle.

I am setting a goal to get on track by January 1, with both diet and exercise. Just like I don't deserve the treatment D1 and SIL are giving me, my body does not deserve to be treated with junk food. How's that for a mental shift? My body does not deserve to be fed chips and candy.

I did not make the spaghetti squash yesterday, I made potato soup instead. (onion, carrot, celery, garlic, potato, broth, cashew cream, nutritional yeast) Seasoning was bay leaf, thyme and rosemary. +++++++++++Yum!

Today is the family get together with my siblings - no idea how compliant I will be. I am bring that Maple Chiffon Cake, (it is my dad's favorite cake and he only gets it when I make it for him. Years ago my mom asked me to make it and then after asking for the pan year after year, she told me to keep the pan and make the cake every year. And so I do.) And I will be bring a huge salad with lots of greens. Last time we all got together every one had their soft food and I was there at the table: crunch, crunch, crunch...

My mom attempts to encourage me in my way of eating - she always makes something I can eat. But none of my brothers and sisters say anything about what I put on my plate. But then, I am the only one that is not overweight and I am active. And if a comment is made, I admit that I eat too much junk and need to stop doing that because it is not good for me.

So there is my pep talk for my family gathering...

I hope you all have a great weekend --
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