Journal of my journey

[Morris]

Day 69 ~ I have not weighed myself for days, I am so disappointed with myself. I did so well until the wedding dinner. I am reminded of the movie Ghostbusters when they were told not to imagine anything and one thinks of the Marshmallow Puffman, I think that is how it went (anyways, that is the memory I created and I am going with it) I was defeated by the marshmallows. They served hot cocoa with different varieties of marshmallows. I tasted the s'mores one (dipped in chocolate, then graham crackers); then another, then another, then another,then another,then another. And to make matters worse was that they did not even taste good. That was Saturday and it seems like I am coming off a binge, a long binge.

I cannot believe how much junk I ate despite eating the "good" stuff: potatoes, greens, lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower, etc. The other day, when I took my hubby to the doctor, I went to the gift shop and bought me a bag of Reisins (chocolate covered caramel),then potato chips, then M&M's. I had an hour to wait and I ate that stuff so fast so I could have the evidence destroyed before hubby returned. UGGGGGH!

I acquired that behavior growing up, I would eat my treats before my brothers or sisters would discover I had them. I did not want to share. As a teenager, I would bike miles, stop at Bridgeman's (ice cream) and order the largest sundae treat (5 scoops with toppings), then bike home and have dinner and pretend I had not eaten since lunch.

Today, I am fighting a migraine and I am going to assume it is from the dyes of the M&M's. Now, am I going to be smart enough to avoid them in the future? I hope so.

I am starting over -- AGAIN! I started my day with a bowl of fresh fruit: strawberries, banana, blueberry, clementine; followed by a small bowl of cereal (sprouted grain flakes) with almond milk.

mashed potato with cooked greens, sugar snap peas, coleslaw (dry)

Cooking for later is a big pot of vegetable soup with kidney beans added

The food is tasting good again! Yum!

[sksamboots]

Remember each meal is a chance to start new and you are doing just that!!

[Morris]

Thank you! I tell myself that a lot and I have a lot of start overs. I just remember how far I have come and focus on doing better next time.

[sksamboots]

How's it going?

[perky12415]

I cannot believe how much junk I ate despite eating the "good" stuff: potatoes, greens, lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower, etc. The other day, when I took my hubby to the doctor, I went to the gift shop and bought me a bag of Reisins (chocolate covered caramel),then potato chips, then M&M's. I had an hour to wait and I ate that stuff so fast so I could have the evidence destroyed before hubby returned. UGGGGGH!

I acquired that behavior growing up, I would eat my treats before my brothers or sisters would discover I had them. I did not want to share. As a teenager, I would bike miles, stop at Bridgeman's (ice cream) and order the largest sundae treat (5 scoops with toppings), then bike home and have dinner and pretend I had not eaten since lunch.

!\

Thanks for sharing this! It is often frightening to see how behaviors don't change....

[Morris]

Day 77 ~ Well, I wish I could say that everything is great, but I'd be lying. I have been pigging out again. Currently, right now, I am feeling stuffed from eating my supper (mashed potatoes with gravy and broccoli). I cannot seem to recognize that feeling of being satisfied and I end up eating too much. I really need to slow down when I eat.

Also, I have been eating bad choices; it seems like I give in to temptation too many times. I know better, but I keep stuffing that junk into my mouth like there is no tomorrow. I do well for a few days, then BAMMM! Who would know that I am trying to eat healthy? Ugh!

I am realizing that I often eat when I am thirsty so I am attempting to try to drink more throughout the day, but most of the time I do not do so well and end up drinking too much in the evening, then I am up every couple of hours making the necessary trip to the bathroom. However, when I stay hydrated throughout the day, I sleep so much better and then do not snack as much the next day. You’d think that I would have learned my lesson by now ~ stay hydrated to sleep better and eat less. When I am hydrated, it is easier for me to resist the temptations and to remind myself that I am not going to die if I do not buy and eat that bag of candy.

Last night, my granddaughter and I went to an event “Losing It With Lisa”. It was a health expo and the speaker of the evening was Lisa Rambo, a contestant from the Biggest Loser Season 14. Lisa was sent home the 5th week. She had a very successful weight loss for the season, but she had regained quite a bit of weight (my guess over 30, but I am no expert) But she was a good speaker and what I took away from it was not to settle for something that you achieved and with a little effort you can achieve something greater. Keep pushing through.
One thing she kept saying when that when she was weighing herself, that she would tell her husband that since it was a game, she’d push to lose more weight. I couldn’t help but think, well, she’s not playing the game anymore and thought maybe I need to play a game and the prizes will be HEALTH and WELLBEING.

I have noticed that these past couple of months that I have more energy since I have been eating more whole foods, especially greens despite my shortcomings.

[Morris]

Day 78 ~ Cannot wait for the longer daylight hours because my grandson comes before the sun comes up and leaves shortly before the sun goes down; this makes it too hard for me to get my run done.

Today, we went out to eat, the Star of India; it was buffet style. I started with a huge plate of salad. But ate too much bread. I then had rice, a chickpea dish, and some curried vegetables and a creamy eggplant dish (just a taste). I am sure I had a gazillion calories.

Before we left town, we stopped at the Asian store and I bought some gram flour, some rice flavoring that includes some dried vegetables and seaweed. I have no idea if I will like it but it seemed interesting to try. The bad thing I bought was some peanut brittle = peanuts and three types of sugar. It had an ingredient listed called jaggery -I was curious.

Tomorrow is a another new day ~ greens, split pea soup is on the menu

[sksamboots]

Remember, each meal is a chance to eat something different. Have you tried eating a soup or salad before eating your starch? That may help you slow down a bit......

[Morris]

I do have a huge salad before my meals, but still overeat. I think I must be the exception to the rule to fill the stomach first with the low-calorie dense foods so that you won't overeat the more calorie dense foods. I find I still overeat.

[GlennR]

There are lots of techniques to cope with too much food at a sitting, eating slowly, taking time between courses, having a glass of water with your meal, using smaller plates, ...

I'm sure you can find one, or a combination that suits you. That said, I often eat to where I feel a little overfull so I'm not the expert here.

[sksamboots]

You may have to find a few different things. Like try the soup instead of the salad and see how your body works. Experiment!

[Morris]

Day 81 ~ Wow! I can't believe I am still posting, that means I am sticking with my plan. I start so many things then do not finish, for instance, I have bookmarks in The Pleasure Trap, Maximum Weight Loss, and The Starch Solution.

I started Mary's mini, but lasted 3 days and found that I was not even doing it correctly; then moved on to something else. My so-called menu planning is consisting of making a big batch of something in the spur of the moment and eating that til it is gone. So, the fact that I am still posting here and counting the days gives me hope that I will eventually get with the plan.

These past few days I have been eating the Split Pea Soup from the CHAMPS book. I like this recipe better than the one I tried from the website. It has more spices and includes potato. My other dish has been mashed potatoes and chickpea gravy. My veggies have been broccoli and cooked spinach.

Last night, I rented the dvds Fed Up and GMO OMG. Both these documentaries cause me frustration about the food supply and what people describe as "eating healthy". While I eat and cook a lot of whole food plant based meals, I am still honest with myself in that I do not have a healthy diet because I still include too much over processed, fat-laden and too much sugary foods. My husband said he eats healthy because he does not eat as bad as other people on the SAD.

In Fed Up, I was amazed at how it was portrayed that some think they are making healthier choices by switching to a lower-fat or fat-free variation of a over-processed food-like product. Then they wonder why they are not losing weight. I know why I am not losing weight and will not until I get "fed up" with eating all the junk that I do and take the necessary steps to cut it out of my "lifestyle" diet.

This movie also seemed to suggest in a subtle sort of way that cutting out the processed foods is not a sustainable means for keeping the weight off. They showed a family cutting out the processed and cooking meals and home, then post their weight loss after six months. Then they have a follow-up and tell us all the weight was gained back. Unless I missed it, they did not say the family went back to eating the over-processed food-like products.

I know the weight I lost was because I was eating foods as close to the natural state as possible, but gained back some when I added the junk again. Frustration overload! Why do I continue to do it? That is the million dollar question. So far, I have not come up with a suitable answer other than because I have not yet become "fed up" with the potential harm I am doing to my body. I am hoping that changes soon.

[sksamboots]

Congrats on your consistency!

[Morris]

Day 84 ~ The weather is cold again and so I went to the gym for my workout. I am currently on week 5 of the 5k101 program. This week's is 8 minute run and I think I may have to repeat this week because I needed a couple of "unscheduled" walk breaks. Next week it jumps to 12 minutes. That is a big leap.

My eating choices are getting better and, at the gym, I was able to resist the temptation to buy something from the vending machine. They have a "clearance" slot that I usually buy from. But I was able to tell myself "I do not want that". I do not WANT that instead I cannot have that. Some how that little change of attitude is making a big difference in what I am choosing to snack on.

Although I still make some bad choices, I say "no" to a lot of varieties of certain things because they do not taste as good as what I remember them tasting years ago. I cannot wait until I am able to say "I don't want that" to the items I still crave.

Yesterday, I prepared some roasted potatoes with carrots and onion, baked fries, and Greens and broccoli soup. Today I made some mashed potatoes and used the the Greens and Broccoli soup as a gravy.

I am trying to make several dishes ahead of time so we can just grab something whenever we are hungry. This is helping me make better choices.

[Morris]

Day 86 ~ Today was a success, yesterday was not. Seems to be my pattern: off again, on again. It was Valentines Day yesterday and I spent it with the grandchildren. We had so much fun. I made a big batch of Chili Mac, my veggie version for lunch. Then I made some chocolate chip cookies and made some popcorn. Then we shut the shades and curtains to try to make it dark so we could watch a movie like the theater. It was a fun day.

Today, was back to business. I had a bowl of muesli with blueberries and a banana for breakfast. I don't think I need to mention that the coffee is a given. I consider that my "me" time.

Then I went to the gym for some more "me" time. I think I managed a little over 6 treadmill miles all together. I completed my 5k101 Week 5 Day 3 (jog 8 minutes, walk 2 minutes three times), without an unscheduled walk break. Yeah for me! Then I noticed on my ipod nano Nike plus history that I did not have a time for the 3k. So I decided to run a 3k to see how long it would take me. Well, the 3k according to the Nike Sport took me 21 minutes, but the treadmill was showing 2.25 miles. I have had my nano for 5 1/2 years now and I think the battery is dying so it is no longer accurate. Oh well, the time for my 3k should be easy to beat. I feel a new personal best coming soon ! lol. I finished with a 1/2 treadmill mile incline walk.

I came home and ate lunch: mashed potatoes with the leftover Greens and Broccoli Soup. Yum! I never thought to use a soup as a gravy before. What a great way to eat more veggies.

Then we had to go to town to celebrate my mom and my husband's birthday. We go to a restaurant that offers free birthday dinners. The choice was Mexican. ~patting myself on the back~ I did not eat one chip. I ordered a garden burrito and requested no sauce and I received my burrito with sauce inside but not on top. I told the waiter I requested NO sauce and even told him I did not like sauce on my food. But, he replied, it is for flavor. I told him I did not want the flavor. He redid my order but, man, was that salty. I guess they figured I would not like it plain. UGH! I ate it because I was h.u.n.g.r.y. and everyone else was almost done with their meal.
They brought out deep fried tortillas with whipped cream and strawberry sauce. My mom and dad really enjoyed that. I was not even tempted, just thinking that the chips were deep fried and the strawberry sauce most likely had "beaver butt juice" in it made it easy to resist.

I guess it matters what you are thinking to help determine how strong you willpower is to resist temptation.