Journal of my journey

[Morris]

@AnnetteW https://www.calculator.net/ideal-weight-calculator.html

[Morris]

November 21, 2019

Ugh! my weight jumped up again - I did not drink enough water yesterday and did not sleep well. My dog wouldn't go out before I went to bed, but demanded to go out just as I fell asleep. Well, that woke me up. My fitbit tells me I got just under 3 hours -- it is going to be a long day.

I am thinking that I need to make it a point to drink more water throughout the day - past experience tells my that I will sleep better if I am hydrated.

I am going to try something new for me and log my planned eating into cronometer, that way I can get the damage control from the start. For instance, today's plan is 2, 290 calories and that is if I stick with my eating plan.

What I plan to eat today"
coffee
oatmeal, blueberries, mango and chia seeds

Black Beans and Rice
Corn

Minestrone Soup
company muffin

Snacks:
chocolate zucchini Beanie Brownie (peanutbutterandpeppers.com recipe)
apple crisp - (I am almost done with pan - next time I need to choose a better healthier for me recipe)

Exercise -
treadmill and strength

[Morris]

November 22, 2019

Today is my 5th anniversary of keeping my journal here on this board. If you reread my posts, you'd find a common compliant I have that I cannot seem to stick with a plan for a period of time and/or do not seem to finish what I start. Well. I am giving myself credit for actually staying with this journal and posting in it as frequently that I have done.

I am noticing that the boards here have quite a bit more activity on them now -- 'tis the season of junk food. Temptation will abound. My weight is up from where I want it to be so I will need to be extra diligent with my eating or else my weight will creep up again to where I don't want it to be.

The other day, I made the rice and beans and minestrone soup and packaged them for my meals these next couple of days. Oh my! What a relief it is to have everything planned and ready to do. It is so nice to open the fridge, grab a container, heat up the food and be ready to eat. They always say that one of the keys to success with this WOE is to plan and prepare.

Hubby has been away this past week, so I did not have to figure him and what he'd want to eat in my eating plan and that has made it easier for me. This past month has been hard on me physically because I had been eating way too much junk, gained weight, did not include exercise, and started to get achy again. Basically, I just feel like crap -- you know the saying eat crap, feel like crap.

He needs to lose weight and he is attempting his plan - which I have no idea what that is - but he claims he has lost weight, but I watched him button his flannel shirt and it seemed like he would be more comfortable in the next size up. He eats a lot of meat then complains about how much meat he is eating. Kind of like me, I eat a lot of junk food then complain about how much junk food I am eating. I dunno know, maybe I just like to complain... I hope not.

Since this is my fifth year anniversary for this journal, I need to focus on being positive. This is where that Beck Diet Solution's Give Yourself Credit comes in -- focus on what I am doing right and learn from what I did not do correctly. Stay focused, be prepared and enjoy the successes, no matter how trivial they may seem. For me, keeping this journal for as long as I have is a success, I am finding so many notebooks laying around where I have started a plan and stopped even before I had a chance to give the plan a try.

I have a friend that wants me to run the half marathon with her at the end of April. I ran two when I first started running about 10 years ago. And then life happened and I did not have time to devote to train for that length of runs. But, it would be fun to run that distance with some one. I told her I'd decide in December. Well, yesterday, I went through my files and found a Jeff Galloway plan for the half and with that schedule, i should start training at the end of the month. It would give me a goal to work for because If I don't train for it, I could end up with an injury and that would keep me more focused on my exercise and what I should be eating.

Well, coffee time is done and it is time for me to get moving:
what I plan to eat today:

rice and beans with corn
apple crisp -- the last serving of the batch - next time I make it I need to find a healthier version

minestrone soup
Company muffin
Chocolate Zucchini Beanie Brownie

Oatmeal with blueberries, mango, and flaxseed

Exercise - at least 30 minutes on the treadmill
Stretching - I am getting stiff and need to get some flexibility in my joints.

Oh, I did focus on staying hydrated yesterday and slept a lot better - or at least I would have if it weren't for my dog that decided it was cuddle time in the middle of the night. She slept next to me and she snores louder than hubby.

[Morris]

November 23, 2019

Man, I cannot believe that November is almost over. Where did the time go. I am attempting to get organized and declutter my house - oh, does that take work to stay organized. I still have to get my schedule of things to do according to Sidetracked Home Executives. That method worked for me in the past and it was so much easier keeping up with things when you have a schedule and it is mostly touch-up throughout the week; no major deep cleans all the time.

Things with my parents are settling down a bit and I told my mom that I am going to designate one day to come and help her and do my visiting - that way she can plan appointments for that day and I can keep it open for doing errands for her. I cannot imagine how hard it for my parents to be in separate dwelling at this stage of their lives - they were married for 64 years.

Yesterday, I managed to do a run on my treadmill - hubby is away at the moment and he called right before I was ready to start. I told him I was just getting ready to exercise and he kept talking and talking and talking - GAWD, sometimes I dread that Minnesota good-bye. If you can find the you-tube video "How to talk MInnesotan", you'll understand what I mean - you say good-bye about 6 times and 2 hours later you are actually going out the door.

I am using Robert Ullelry's podcasts for running the couch to 5k program that Cool Running had when I first started running about 10 years ago. That was the trend back then. I was going to look for a link for the podcasts this morning but could only find this one:
http://www.c25k.com/podcasts.htm If interested, use at your own risk as it is on an unsecured site.

This got me thinking about trends, how things get popular for a bit and then fade away. So, I need to stay focused on what my goals are; to remind myself:

1. 128 pounds
2. Controlled eating of snacks
3. Eat only when hungry and until satisfied
4. Exercise daily, either planned or spontaneous

Numbers 2 and 3 are my main concern, I have a tendency to binge on junk food even if I am not hungry. Eating until satisfied is tough for me because satisfied for me is to fill over-stuffed. I tend to overeat no matter what I eat - good stuff or bad.

I am using my chart form the Beck Diet Solution and am planning my meals in the morning and then recording what I eat that I did not plan. I am going to keep a journal and perhaps add in mood when I eat. I am on year five - I'll get it eventually because I am not giving up.

I overate yesterday, I just felt hungry and I have been craving ice cream -- I know from the past when that happened I needed to add more calcium - I have not been eating greens - so when I went grocery shopping I bought me some greens. Hopefully that will help.

What I plan to eat today:
coffee
rice and beans
corn
spinach
Minestrone soup -- (I did add kale when I made this)
spinach
company muffin
Squash soup
Company muffin
spinach
asparagus
Chocolate Zucchini Beanie Brownie

And I need to focus on hydration - tea and water

Exercise - I think today will have to be a rest day - I will go to the park and walk. 2 days ago I did some strength training after my run and I am feeling it today ( I get 24-48 hour delay onset muscle soreness) and my legs are screaming at me with every step I take.

Well, off to make some squash soup -
Have a happy weekend

[Morris]

November 23, 2019

Hunting season's last day is today, which means I may be able to start running in the wooded area again. Although it has been quite here, haven't heard gunshots other than the first couple of days, nor have i seen cars parked on the road. Good for the deer in the area.

The other day, I stopped at the State Park and went for a quick walk right before sunset. It was so nice to get out in the woods again. I couldn't resist last night, and went for 1-1/2 mile walk right before sunset. I have been wanting to get a good sunset picture, but it seems like whenever I plan for it, the clouds always disappear and it is a boring sunset. Now, this morning I woke up and saw a colorful sunrise -- perhaps I will need to plan for a sunrise rather than a sunset.

I enjoyed being in the woods again and even stepped off the road to follow a trail -- I am looking for a place to set up a stealth setting where I can go and just sit, listen and watch nature. I have been wanting to do it for years and am slowly getting over my fears of being alone in the woods. But I did not go far off the road because I did not know for sure if I was following an animal or hunter trail, I did not want to disturb if there was a hunter farther into the woods.

My eating was not too bad yesterday except for the wafer cookies I found in my cupboard and I was in the mood for an omelet but seem to be out of chickpea flour. I was going to make the chick pea omelet from fatfreevegan's website. I remember I used to keep that mix on hand. So, I ended up using eggs for the omelet.

My squash harvest is ripening too fast so I made a huge batch of squash sweet potato soup for freezing - to give it a bit more umph to it, I added some red lentils to it. I used thyme and orange peel for the seasoning - so good.

Then I made a small batch of pureed lentil soup and used some more squash, sweet potato, and russets for it. I seasoned that one with curry.

I was going through my recipe files and found a recipe from a Costco Magazine November 2016 for a Butternut Squash "Meat"Loaf that I want to try, I think it will make a good thanksgiving dish. I have a feeling someone will ask so...

Butternut Squash Meatloaf
Category: Main Dishes
Yield: 8 servings
Source: Costco Magazine, Nov 2016, Jerry James Stone

1/2 cup cooked black beans
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 cup + 1 teaspoon diced onion - divided
3 clove garlic - minced
1 carrot - diced small
1 celery rib - diced small
1/2 green apple - diced small
2 teaspoons Italian seasoning
2 cups cooked and pureed butternut squash
1/2 cup cooked quinoa
1 tablespoon chopped walnuts - (optional)
1 beaten egg - (or 2 tablespoons oat flour)
1/4 cup panko breadcrumbs
2 teaspoons sea salt
Cranberry Glaze
1/2 cup fresh cranberries
1/4 cup ketchup
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 teaspoon Sriracha sauce
1 clove garlic - minced

Preheat oven to 350°F. Place cranberries on a small baking sheet. Place black bean on another. Roast both ingredients for about 15 minutes.

Warm oil in a frying pan over medium-low heat; add 1/4 cup onion and 3 garlic cloves. Cook until onions are translucent, about 5 minutes. Add carrots and celery, and cook for 5 minutes. Add apple and Italian seasoning and cook for 3 minutes.

In a large mixing bowl, combine squash, cooked veggies, roasted black beans, quinoa, walnuts, egg, and panko breadcrumbs. Transfer mixture to a parchment-lined 9x5-inch loaf pan, smoothing out with a spatula to remove air bubbles.

Prepare cranberries glaze: Purée the roasted cranberries, ketchup, brown sugar, Sriracha sauce and 1 garlic clove until smooth. Spoon cranberry glaze over top of “meatloaf” until fully covered. Bake the loaf for 45 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool for 5 minutes before removing from pan.

I went to Aldi's the other day and bought 10 pounds of potatoes for $1.69 -- whoa! 1950 prices.

What I plan to eat today:
coffee
rice and beans
corn
spinach
fresh cilantro

minestrone soup
spinach

Squash soup with added rice and peas
company muffins
chocolate zucchini beanie brownie - these froze well so I'll be able to snack on them for a while. Recipe needs tweaking as they were a bit on the dry side.

Exercise;
Treadmill run - couch to 5k week 5 day 2 -- let's see how I do today.
strength training - I'll be doing that same routine I did the other day that cause me so much pain
maybe a walk outside later on in the day.

[Morris]

November 25, 2019

Well, back to the ol' grindstone - daily drudgery. Hubby has returned from his trip with his brother. Now, I have to include what he wants to do into my routine. It was really nice being able to focus on just me for the time he was gone. Well, it was good while it lasted --

Yesterday, I went out and checked my tarp that I have set up on the top of what I call "the sliding hill". It is not how I want it and I do not know if it will hold when the snow falls, but I did not really have time to set it up correctly. But after I adjusted it I sat down in it and realized that even though I paid a bit more for the tarp, it is still an ol' cheapo -- it is already full of holes and it was only up for the summer. I want to make like a lean-to type eventually. In the winter I like to sit under is and just look at the snow. It is open on the southern end so it gets the sunshine. I am looking forward to the snow this year.

I started to clear my path that I have going around our property -- I have not been out there much, but I noticed that my path has a trail that was being used - I am not sure if it is from the deer or the neighbor's dog. I want to use my snow shoes this winter and if I don't get the path cleared here, I'll just have to use the public trails in the parks. I might go to the Esker - where it is not organized trails, but only if there is a spot for me to park my car off the road - that would be fun.

I am watching these you tube videos where these people do winter camping and I am wondering if that is something I may want to try. If I do, I'll start with setting up my campsite in my yard -- that way if I get too cold, I can escape to the house. Oh, all this winter 'talk', I must really be looking forward to the winter season this year.

I think I have mentioned that a friend wanted to know if I would do a half marathon with her in April - I am seriously considering it. I even found a Jeff Galloway plan that I had used in the past. I found one plan where it was a just to finish plan and the training would start next week -- but I think that is for a very beginner runner. I think I will use it and on the long runs use that day to gradually work up the distance I do without a walk break.

My eating plan was close to what I planned yesterday. I did not eat the minestrone soup, but turned my squash soup into a chowder-type so I added a lot more veggies to it. A couple things I ate that were not planned - 4 mini candy bars and a bag of microwave popcorn. oops, I think I forgot to add the mini candy bars on the mutual accountability thread.

What I plan to eat today:
overnight oatmeal with blueberries, mango, flax seed and cashew/coconut milk (I actually prepped it last night)
chickpea filling with spinach in pita bread
leftover soup
Wild rice chowder - onion, carrot, celery, potato, wild rice. red lentils
company muffin x 2
salad - romaine, sweet kale,spinach, beet
Chocolate Zucchini Beanie Muffin - these are awesome while drinking raspberry tea

Exercise -
exercise: run on treadmill
30 day shred - level one

[Morris]

November 26, 2019

Yesterday, was a bust for following my plan - my mom called and said she needed to go to the doctor because of a pain in her leg that seemed to be traveling upward - she had clotting tendency and is on blood thinners. I had time to eat my breakfast - I made overnight oats the night before (oats, blueberry, mango, flaxseed and cashew/coconut milk) No time for anything else and off I went.

It took all afternoon. I had a veggie delight from Subway for lunch, then took mom back to the clinic for the ultrasound to make sure there was no clot. After I took her home, I stopped at the nursing home to visit with my dad. He is staying busy with the activities and often he is not in his room when I go to see him. I wish my mom would get more active with the other residents - but then she may be and is telling tales that she does not talk to anyone.

I stopped at a gas station and decided not to grab the cookies that I like so much, not the jelly donuts that called my name and settled on a turkey sandwich with mayo and mustard - not the best choice but it was better than what I intended on getting when i stopped, which was potato chips. I really need to retrain my brain.

So, before I fell asleep, I found a Neal Barnard lecture on you tube and then woke up to Dr. John Bergman, (I had autoplay on).

Today, hubby has a doctor appointment so off to town again - I can hear him already, "I want to go out to eat" I feel like that is will be point less for me to plan my meals today -- I am frustrated again and feel like I have a heavy cloud hanging over me. While in town yesterday, I drove past a church that had a billboard with "In everything give thanks..." That was a good and timely message for me as I am surrounded by negative and complaining people.

I am in a mood this morning and hope I make good eating choices....

I am going to start my day with a pita stuffed with chickpea and spinach.

[bunsofaluminum]

that tarp idea is dreamy. A place for alone time, outdoors, protected, with sun shining in. Take a cup of tea and sit quietly. How nice.

[Morris]

November 27, 2019

My eating was so off-plan yesterday! I started out well but we ended up eating at a restaurant that is in the Asian store I went to and purchased some chickpea flour and red lentils. I ordered the vegetarian fried rice, but we were in a hurry so I made no special order -- translate that to getting fried tofu, eggs and oil. But it was good and we will go back again and I will check out how they do with special cooking instructions.

Hubby asked to stop at the Kwik Trip -- gas convenience store -- because he wanted to get "something to tied him over". I ended up getting the fruit smoothie and a donut.

Once home I had some cheerios with cashew/coconut milk and some nuts and dried fruit. Only problem is I way over eat Cheerios.

I did manage to get a run completed on the treadmill. Couch to 5k Week 5 Day 3 - 5 minute warm-up, 20 minute run, 5 minute cool down. Giving myself credit here for doing the 20 minute run non stop (that is if I don't count the seconds I jumped off to adjust my music -- I had it to repeat the same song and the one that was playing was slow. Albeit, I kept the pace slow because one program I did the tip to make it through the longer times is to go slow enough to do the distance.

My mom was doing better yesterday and was not hurting as much -- good news no blood clot. A neighbor of hers gave her a scooter so if her COPD gets too bad this winter she will still be able to get around and visit my dad. My dad, on the other hand, is having some issues and is fighting major depression. But then that should be expected considering his condition, he plateaued and is slowly declining again.

Hubby's doctor's appointment for his pain management is giving him a new plan -- one thing this doctor is doing is putting him on an anti-inflammatory diet. I looked at the list of foods to eat and other than the meat "protein" items, I should be able to make meals that will work for both of us. Now, hopefully he will get on board and start being focused on losing weight.

Well, I was on quest for barley flakes to mix with my oatmeal -- I found some barley and rye flakes and made a tri-grain mix. Hoping the other grains will give more sustaining power for me.

What I plan to eat today:
coffee
tri-grain flake mix with blueberries, mango and flaxseed
spinach

go out and shovel snow - so far a about 4- 6 inches have fallen

if roads are plowed - in town for hubby's doctor apt this after noon. So other meals are undecided at this time.

[Morris]

November 28, 2019

Happy Thanksgiving! I am going to make this quick. Today there are races going on in two towns close to me - I'd have to drive a minimum of half hour one way to get to either one. So, instead I just signed up for yes.fit 's largest Turkey trot: a digital race - 10k. I am going to have just one cup of coffee and then get dressed and do a solo 10k while connected to all the other runners out there somewhere.

GS2 is here with us for the weekend. There is snow on the sliding hill and he brought his gear - hopefully we'll be able to get a track down the hill so we can go sliding. I checked my tarp yesterday and took off all the snow - it was sagging because the snow was wet and heavy. That was just round one, another snow storm watch has been activated, this next time 8-12-inches is the forecast. We pay some one to plow our driveways, looks like I better start a snow plow fund because I think we are going to have a snowy season this year. I'd rather have the snow than the bitter cold.

Not sure what we will do for Thanksgiving dinner. GS2 saw a flyer for a buffet and wanted to go, there is a free community dinner being offered, I wanted to make the butternut squash meatloaf but did not get a chance to get all the ingredients. We are not getting together with family, it is just us. D2 and her SO are getting together with his family, but left GS2 with us -- so much for family get together.

SO does not get along with his family very well, but craves for the relationship. He told us yesterday that his mom does not even have his phone number in her phone. Seriously?? That explains why the other day, when D2 was at a conference that was not kid friendly, he called to see if he could stop by here and wait it out as he did not want to drive all the way home then back again to get D2. (It is almost an hour drive one way for him to get to town)

Well, my coffee time is finished and time for me to get that 10k finished - I am going to do it on the treadmill because of the snow, my route through the woods most likely will not be plowed - I run on two roads and both are low maintenance, one has a house halfway and he was told if he wants to get out he has to plow it himself (he is a half mile in). I'll have to wait for the snow mobiles to come and pack it down.

I have absolutely no idea what my meal plan is going to be for the day...

[AnnetteW]

What a neat idea, a virtual race. It sure makes a lot of sense for times it's difficult to get out, or just motivation.

Wishing you a happy Thanksgiving.

[Morris]

November 29, 2019
My 10k seemed to have taken forever on the tread mill. 78 minutes, but I was doing a half-marathon training podcast that I had that was 20 minute run / 5 minute walk x 3 and that 78 minutes also included my warm-up walk. I have learned to do my interval runs (speed up and slow down) while keeping the same speed on my treadmill. I just increase my intensity of running in place and in doing so increase my steps and have my fitbit record my step and convert to mileage - I started my fitbit when I was done with the warm-up and I had a fitbit time of 67 minutes for my 10k. So who knows what my time really was because neither method records the accurate mileage -- only the time.

We went to the community meal for thanksgiving yesterday. What a feast! it was all the traditional foods: mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, sweet potatoes, corn, coleslaw, cranberry orange relish, turkey, bread, and pumpkin pie. One thing I noticed was, while it was a lot of food, everything was portion controlled. They were having drawings for prizes and afterward, we went up and to thank the volunteer who put it on and hubby introduced me to him and he recognized me from my volunteering for Share a Meal, they were doing one last drawing and GS2 wanted to see if his number would be drawn, but the majority of the people had left, so he brought the Karaoke prize to GS2 and asked if he wanted to have it. When we returned home hubby and GS2 played with the karaoke -- those two can sing, I cannot.

I want to go for a run outside today just in case I get decide to brave the weather on the 7th and do a 5k that is a fundraiser for the homeless vets. I need to get used to running outside, I have been running on my treadmill this past month. The road through the woods should be plowed by the guy who lives halfway in.

Another snow storm is expected this weekend -- ice and 8-12 inches is the forecast so today would be a good day to get out and run. I'll have to find my ice-grippers for the bottom of my shoes.

Hubby is to be put on an anti-inflammatory diet, he has the list of foods that would be best for him to eat -- so far, he is not showing much interest in jumping in with both feet and following it. I found a 5-day anti-inflammatory meal plan video from a sweet pea chef - it was plant based and am thinking about doing that and see how hubby likes it. The calories is low for him though so I am sure we'd have to add more veggies to it. But it gives me an idea of things to make. Sometimes, I wish he'd do more for himself instead of relying on me to do everything. But, then, he acts just like his dad did toward his mother; it is what he knows.

A lot of these meal plans videos make the same dishes for all 5 days -- not good for this household, I find that I cannot prep for more than a 2, maybe 3 days, otherwise things just sit in the fridge. I guess we like more variety. I cleaned out one of my freezers and discovered I have a lot of soups that I froze so they would not go to waste -- looks like I need to plan my meals out of the freezer for a bit.

Meal plan for today is:
coffee
mandarin orange and banana

outdoor run

lentil "Shepherd's" pie -- I adapted Engine 2's recipe to make it mine
Salad - romaine, spinach, sweet kale

sloppy lentil's
baked potato wedges
squash
some type of veggie

[Morris]

November 30, 2019
well, I made my lentils, but not the meals. They are in the refrigerator waiting for me to do something with them today. Hubby had some things that need to be used up - venison and chicken. I let him do what ever he wanted to do with those. The chicken ended up in the crock pot with some onion, potato, and carrots. What I had for supper was onion, potato, and carrots with gravy and some beets on the side.

I ran outside yesterday for the first time in awhile. I was dressed for it and the main road when it was plowed scraped it to the dirt; so it was not icy. I left the ice grippers at home. I did the couch to 5k week 6 day 1 -- run 25 minutes or 2-1/2 miles. I did not use Robert Ullery's Podcast because that just went for 25 minutes, I wanted to do the 2-1/2 mile. Shocker! I actually ran the whole 2-1/2 miles without a walk break. When I started out, I kept reminding myself to go easy because I did that 10k the day before. Slow and easy -- I reminded myself that Jeff Galloway's plan has the long runs slower than the normal pace and the Todd Lange from Running Mate Media on his podcasts always says to go slow enough to make the time (or in my run, the distance).

I woke up this morning thinking I'd get out there right away and get another run in before the snow - too late, there is already a couple of inches on the ground. Round two begins -- this is supposed to go til tomorrow around noon. If it is not too windy, I may take out my snowshoes and head into the woods on the snowmobile trails. I'll see if I am energetic or lazy in a few hours.

I am having a hangover from yesterday's emotions -- every one was crabby. GS2 has a melt-down in the store and was expressing anger -(plus it was Black Friday so I was already stressing) - and then my mom calls and she was in a mood because my niece came to visit her and when she buzzed to get in (it goes to my mom's phone) my mom did not hear the phone ring. But then, she always has the TV on full blast and one cannot hear anything when around the television. So she calls me and starts yelling at me because she couldn't hear her phone ring. I am not responsible for her not hearing her phone ring. And she knows the tv's volume is an issue because several times she has called me and says she has to turn down the volume so she can hear. And then, there is a person coming to explain the Medicare program next week and the social worker scheduled mom for immediately after lunch time, -- So she yells at me for that!

You know, a solo walk in the woods during a snow storm is starting to look pretty darn appealing.

What I plan to eat today:
coffee
mandarin orange, banana
Tri-grain flakes (oats, rye and barley) with blueberries, mango and flaxseed

Leftovers in the fridge:
potatoes
carrots
lentils
beets
I'll cook some rice and sweet potato and see what I come up using those ingredients

Salad: romaine, spinach, sweet kale mix

Tasks for today: drink more water and keep my hands out of the candy jar.

Exercise - that snow shoe trek is looking good, but the snow is coming down harder now and I may wimp out - if that will be the scenario -- then exercise bike or maybe a video of some type of torture - I mean cardio/strength routine. I'll see how my mood is or maybe go sliding down the hill with GS2?

[Morris]

December 1 2019

Snowed in today. Never did make it to the woods yesterday - the snow was wet and the wind was blowing and I just did not feel like dealing with mother nature. Speaking of mothers, my mom called because of the pain in her hip was getting worse. I took her into the doctor last Monday for it. At first, a few months ago, I was impressed with her doctor, but not this last time. We discussed getting my mom a scooter to help her mobility so she could continue to visit with my dad and he is dismissed the idea and said she needed to walk. No questioning of why or what out concerns were, just no you need to walk. He**, the old woman can barely stand up straight. But anyway, she called the nurse at her apartment (she is in assisted living) and they called for an ambulance. I guess she is still at the hospital being checked out --- and I am still snowed in, lots of snow and it is still falling. We live on a township road and so we are last on the list to get plowed.

I saw my weight gain this past month -- UGH! the worst part is I am struggling to get my eating under control. I did better when hubby was away, but then I was also more rested and relaxed. I just had to focus on me and what I needed to do. Now, I get kinks in my plan for the day because he has almost zero consideration for what I need/want to do. And this stupid having to go to town almost every day. And then when we get there, since he is a talker, he'll talk to anyone who will stand there and listen to him; sometimes he'll stand there over an hour talking to some stranger. And most of the time it is one-sided conversations -- just him telling someone what he knows or what he heard some one say. I am stressed and I am a stress eater.

On the positive, yesterday I ate:
tri-grain cereal with blueberries, mango and flaxseed -- I did a bit of portion control this time and cut back on the amount of grains

potato and carrots
lentils

salad: romaine, spinach, sweet kale mix. snow peas, beets, and mandarin orange

The bad:
chocolate chips cookies -- I am going to send some home with GS2

Italian bread -- way too much - hubby bought it because he said he wanted it, but since he did not eat any of it, I am thinking he was being passive aggressive and bought it so it'd be in the house for me -- that bread is a trigger for me. That is the way he is. At the start of my weight-loss journey, many years ago, my favorite snack was chocolate donuts. I told him that I was going to stop eating them. He went to town and came home with 2 chocolate covered donuts for me, telling me he thought of me while he was out. (Mind you the man hardly ever buys me anything). Another part of my stress is that I just cannot let things go ... that incident was about 15 years ago and I am still angry about it.

Well, now that I totally put myself in a bad mood, time to get moving -- I need to at least get a path shovel for our dog, she does not like the snow and when we let her out she is peeing in front of the door. Our dog is so spoiled, she gets her own special path in the snow.

[Morris]

December 6 2019

Busy week - my mom was hospitalized and is now discharged to nursing home for rehab - they were able to get her a room in the same compound where my dad is. So, yesterday, I wheeled him down to visit her. I left them alone for a bit and I think that is what they both needed. At least, I think it because they both seemed a bit more upbeat when I left them. I don't think any of my siblings are visiting them.

My mom's attitude makes it hard to be around her. It's a lesson for me that no one wants to be around negativity. So, I need to focus on being positive and grateful for each day. I have also come to the conclusion that hubby will not be supportive. The other day, our conversation was such that I was looking for a bit of sympathy or maybe a bit of empathy, after I unloaded my thoughts for a bit, he turned the conversation to be all about him and into a monologue. But that is the way it has always been so I don't know why it seems to be such a huge revelation for me this time around. His idea of giving me support is not interfering when I want to go for a run or to go camping. At least I get that and for that I am grateful.

Well, enough of that! My challenge this week is to eat the rainbow - Fruits and vegetables have so much color and so many different tastes and textures. Talk about eating with your eyes when you focus on the different colors. Sure beats the brown and white of having a meat and potato type of meal.

I started my day with: spinach (green), banana (white or is it yellow?), mandarin orange (orange) and blueberries (blue). It tasted as good as it looked.

I will be making a puree soup for later in the day, it will have onion, celery, carrot, sweet potato, delicata squash and red lentils

Have I mentioned that it was recommended that hubby go an anti-inflammority diet to help manage some of his pain? Finally, it is not my idea so he is will to go along with it. The guideline were to cut back on animal protein and to eat more plant based proteins -- I could be supportive of how he will need to eat. Both of us have an issue with the overly-processed junk. He is scheduled to meet with the pain management dieticians later on in the month. I will sit in on that meeting. He was told that the dietician he will meet with is not the typically follow the USDA guidelines, but are trained to create meal plans to reduce inflammation.

The other day we went to an Asian type grocery store - I bought some black rice and red sorghum. I assume I cook them just as I would any other grain, with a particular ration of water:grain? Any one have any ideas for recipes?

Time to close...my mood has been better these past few days, not sure if it is because of the fruits and vegatables I have been eating and it is giving me the magical unicorn effect or because the weather has been warmer (hovering around the freezing mark) and the sun has been shining. Or perhaps it is because I have been cutting way back on the amount of junk I am eating.