I've lost count of how many times I have restarted....

Share your daily McDougall menus and/or keep a journal describing your personal progress.

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Re: I've lost count of how many times I have restarted....

Postby amandamechele » Fri Dec 28, 2018 11:00 pm

Thanks Lindsey. I hope you are having a wonderful holiday break with your little ones. :)

Here is what I ate today:

Breakfast: I actually ate this at 1 am, so for all intents and purposes - yesterday. I’m playing a little game with myself by shifting it into today’s food, just to feel a bit better. It was a delicious mung bean sweet dessert. My lovely MIL had been trying to tempt me off plan all night - she just wanted me to try some of her cooking because we hadn’t seen each other in awhile, and that is what she feels most proud of. It can be very wearing to keep gracefully declining and thankfully my sister-in-law took up my cause and would practically swoop in and defend and deflect. But, I could tell things weren’t copacetic so I needed to find some way to show my MIL some appreciation for her efforts, and nothing says I love you better to a cook than asking for seconds. Hence 2 bowls of dessert.
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Lunch: Paid a visit to old neighbours/friends and they were kind enough to have a big old steamed russet waiting for me. Food really can feel like love....super sweet of them to remember.
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Dinner: We had Christmas dinner at my parent’s place tonight. My sister and mom pulled out all of the stops and created an MWL feast for me to enjoy. I had so many great things to eat, and eat I did! It was neat to notice that there was very little non-mwl food choices at the dinner table, so everyone ate well. Sadly, the dessert smorgasbord was a teetering McDougaller’s nightmare. There must have been ...well...who cares what was there, it was like stumbling upon the witch’s cottage in the story Hansel and Gretel. I did well, but clean up was terribly tempting. l couldn’t bring myself to throw that stuff away, even though it will continue to tempt me all night, sitting alone out on the counter like that....singing little songs and pleading with me to come and visit...LOL... I only wish I were joking here...okay I am a little bit.
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All of this eating into the pain to avoid letting in hyper-palatable foods may have unintended consequences (not just limited to weight gain due to extra calories). But I am interested in seeing if I can avoid a major blow-out binge of crap by just staying full enough when I have less control of my environment than usual.
Sorry, I’m feeling a little extra talkative tonight. I’m a tiny bit sad that my family isn’t following the program at this point in time. I know it’s not my business and everyone gets to make up their own mind (run their own cost/benefit analysis), but I had somehow hoped I could get us to be that rare family who does this together, just through sheer force of will on my part. I’m not giving up on them, but I will need to up my game and be an even better example. Maybe they just need to see me actually reach my goal to give this another really good shot.

XO Good night
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Re: I've lost count of how many times I have restarted....

Postby Yomom » Sat Dec 29, 2018 6:31 pm

Amy,
I had to laugh at your mention of Hansel & Gretl’s cottage. Too true.
Your frank discussion of the temptations and your balanced response is quite inspirational for me. The MWL feast looked absolutely wonderful.
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Re: I've lost count of how many times I have restarted....

Postby amandamechele » Sun Dec 30, 2018 12:14 am

Hi Kathy - Thanks Kathy, just call me Frank this week, because it’s all coming out...LOL... there are no chores to do when travelling which leads to way too much thinking. It really did look like the walls were made of candy and goodies yesterday...or at least the whole countertop. I really do hope you are having some success and would love to hear how you have tweaked the cabbage soup to make it in a new and delicious way.



I think yesterday’s strategy isn’t working very well, just constantly being around the temptation has been enough to start the cravings, sadly, even when I’m stuffed full of potatoes. My sister made the most wonderful hot-potato bar for dinner tonight too! Salsa, chilli or hummus toppings...on giant fluffy twice-baked jacket potatoes. It was the best, Kate is so creative.

Thank goodness I don’t live in my mom’s neighbourhood, they sure do love to bake and create good old fashioned Christmas treats...and share them. Yikes! I would not be able to navigate this neighbourhood. I think I now have a better understanding of what my mom is up against and why she has really struggled to continue to follow the plan since moving here. In this environment, moderation and calorie counting seem easier or more doable over constantly shutting out the neighbours good will and attempts at friendship. I’m not sure I’d do any differently, at least until I got my bearings and could plan a good offence. It took years of proving how important eating this way is to my health and wellbeing, for me to finally get most people in my life to help me through tough situations where I would typically fall down. Tonight, some of the Christmas goodies in the trunk of the car called to me, so when we got back to my parent’s place I went to the trunk and grabbed them and put them in my bag, fully intending on eating them after everyone went to bed AND I was typing up this post (I’m such a hypocrite). I wasn’t being very stealthy and my husband saw what I was doing and he just put his hand out and raised one eyebrow. I wasn’t able to actually hand it over to him (partially because I still wanted them and partially because I wanted to resent what he was doing, so delicately and quietly) so I just held the bag out and he took it out and got rid of it. He has had many years of practice now on how to help me and not make me feel defensive about this. Sometimes I get irritated anyway and know that isn’t fair of me. Good support, really really good support can make or break a day, a week or a month. I’m so grateful to everyone who tries to help me through this. It can feel embarrassing to know that I seem to need a village to stay on track. But, when I used to shy away from asking for help completely, I wasn’t getting anywhere. I still find it very difficult, and am not always able to be direct, because it does represent a flaw. I don’t mean that in a self pitying sort of way. It is something that many people can manage on their own that I cannot. I was only fooling myself, however, in thinking that not asking for help and struggling alone would be a better strategy. That strategy led to me wearing my vice everywhere for everyone to see, so I wasn’t really fooling anyone...they just thought I wasn’t even trying to deal with it, and that simply wasn’t true. I was just misjudging the ramifications of exposing versus not exposing this flaw openly.
Live and learn.

Here is what I ate today:

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Re: I've lost count of how many times I have restarted....

Postby Morris » Sun Dec 30, 2018 7:07 am

Such pretty pictures of food and so much variety. I do the eye-roll whenever I hear that eating plant-based is so restrictive.
Nancy (aka Morris)

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Re: I've lost count of how many times I have restarted....

Postby amandamechele » Sun Dec 30, 2018 10:00 pm

Thank you Morris. :) I agree, sometimes people have a hard time with the switch over because they’re just not familiar enough with the choices available should they want them. (I will admit that some of the photos are a bit contrived because many of my favourite dishes kind-of just look like brown goo, so I make less of those when I’m photographing...LOL....Mom’s shepherd’s pie and the lentil cabbage rolls, for example, are looking a little less photogenic today...but still oh so tasty).

Do not look too closely at today’s photos lest you wish to scandalize your eyes...I had to use a napkin on some of the food I had today in order to decrease the oil on it at a buffet restaurant. Definitely foods to completely avoid if you have heart disease. Definitely something I should avoid too. I’m kind of hating this photo challenge right about now... this isn’t how one leads by example for her family. :/ ). I’ve still got 4 more confirmed buffet restaurant outings and the possibility for other impromptu ones during this visit home. Challenges abound, I’ll keep trying to wade through them and make better choices....but I’ll admit I’m kind of looking forward to January 1st.... no more photos everyday. I’m still reflecting on whether this has helped me to have better adherence. Is the effort worth the time? I have created unnecessary emotional highs and lows based on whether I feel I’ve done a good job on any given day. But, again, if it is helping me slowly improve, is it worth it? The answer/effect must be subtle based on my feelings of ambiguity on whether to continue.


Here is what I ate today:

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(I’m using the statistician’s equivalent of altering the graph axes to make my choices look better... :unibrow: ...Teeny tiny pictures of the less than optimal choices and really large ones of the good choices. Was anyone fooled?)
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Re: I've lost count of how many times I have restarted....

Postby moonlight » Mon Dec 31, 2018 10:33 am

You are a hoot with the size illusion! And very brave to photograph everything you eat. Did you ever decide not to eat something because you would have to photograph it? I keep thinking about trying this technique but I eat so much more than anyone posting pictures of their food.. You seem to be doing really well considering your circumstances. And, I love your relationship with your husband, him knowing you were stashing food and helping you get rid of it. I admire you for not falling into the Pleasure Trap. You may have stuck your big toe in but you’re preventing yourself from binging. That’s progress, a slifestyle change. Yay, you! Your trip sounds fun. Are you visiting family or friends or both?
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand."
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Re: I've lost count of how many times I have restarted....

Postby amandamechele » Tue Jan 01, 2019 1:08 am

Moonlight - Happy New Year! I’m so happy that we are still at this together and I just know this will be our year. XO. Thank you for the bravery comment, it often feels more like folly than anything else. I was trying to figure out how to describe this the other night, when I was writing about how I think not seeking help is a misjudgement because to do so exposes a flaw. But by getting help, and potentially losing face or looking foolish here in this one domain, I now have the opportunity to be more successful in may others. Hiding the flaw from all, led to not solving a problem that all could see. Exposing the weakness selectively (yet way more openly than is truly comfortable) has helped improve my success in overcoming it. To answer your other question, I definitely avoided many poor choices by adding the extra step of photographing, but it wasn’t enough to keep me to MWL specifically or even 100% McDougalling, as the few times added oils came along with restaurant foods show. This wasn’t what I would consider a really compliant month, I’ve done better. Why wasn’t the photo challenge enough this time, I wonder? I had hoped that it and my upcoming trip to the McDougall 3-day program in March might tip the motivational scale in my favour to really tighten up my program. Dr. Lisle did a great interview recently on Healthy Living Live with Chef AJ that talked about the many factors affecting success: from the pleasure trap, the ego trap and variable motivation and more... it’s on YouTube. I am very grateful to everyone in my life who, just like my husband, really want to see me succeed and so I just keep on working at this so I won’t let them down...or me down. I really want this too, for me. This is still the closest I’ve come to solving a near life-long issue (managing would be more appropriate than solving, but you know what I mean). I’ve put just as much effort in all of the other programs/strategies/treatments that I’ve tried. The McDougall program and the accompanying application information has been the most successful, even if it doesn’t always sound like it by the way I describe my emotional state on any given day.

Here is what I ate today, on the last day of 2018:
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Well that is it. An imperfect month, that I’ve decided to be perfectly happy with. There were many good choices; I avoided so many truly unhealthy things to eat. Acknowledging that does not mean that I don’t recognize room for improvement. There is soooo much room...LOL. I will, yet again pledge to attempt to follow another month of MWL.
I’m not going to photograph everyday, as it’s going to be a busy month, and I still feel bad that I dropped the ball this month on not following through on that part of my challenge. I don’t like making promises and not keeping them, even just to myself....maybe especially to myself. It’s interesting that the not photographing everyday bothers me more than not following the MWL (vs regular) program. I was equally unsuccessful on both promises, yet I am not equally bothered by the outcomes. I don’t know why this is.

May this be your best year yet.
Happy Hogmanay! Lang may yer lum reek!
Good night

:)
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Re: I've lost count of how many times I have restarted....

Postby Anna Green » Sat Feb 02, 2019 4:57 pm

I want your Christmas Dinner right now!!! You had me laughing. I love your honesty. Hope all is well.
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Re: I've lost count of how many times I have restarted....

Postby amandamechele » Fri Mar 01, 2019 12:37 am

Anna Green wrote:I want your Christmas Dinner right now!!! You had me laughing. I love your honesty. Hope all is well.


Anna,

I just saw your post! I haven’t looked here in awhile, sorry about that, I must seem so rude. I want that Christmas dinner again too, it was yummy. But thank you, all is well and I’ll be posting in here a couple of times next week when I goto the 3-Day program with some more food pictures. So stay tuned!

Amy XO
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Re: I've lost count of how many times I have restarted....

Postby Lyndzie » Fri Mar 01, 2019 6:03 am

I’m so excited for you!! Please post waaayyy too many pictures of the weekend!! I saw that Sue is going as well. I’m super bummed to miss out, but plan on going when the baby is weaned. It’s so wonderful that your son is going along as well. Travel safely and enjoy all the delicious food.
Lindsey
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Re: I've lost count of how many times I have restarted....

Postby amandamechele » Sun Mar 03, 2019 12:10 am

Thanks Lindsey, I will definitely post pictures. Usually I run around and try to take photos with all of the staff, but I’m actually feeling a bit shy about it this time. Maybe I’ll just take a whole bunch of photos of Sue and my son and Jeff and Dr. L and Dr. McD and Dr Lim and Mary and Heather, if I can catch them all.

When you are able to go, let me know when, and I’ll see if it works with my husband’s schedule. I would love to meet you!
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Re: I've lost count of how many times I have restarted....

Postby Yomom » Sun Mar 03, 2019 9:40 am

Amy
Have a good time at the 3-day.
Kathy
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Re: I've lost count of how many times I have restarted....

Postby amandamechele » Tue Mar 05, 2019 10:09 pm

Yomom wrote:Amy
Have a good time at the 3-day.
Kathy


Thanks Kathy. :)
Maybe I’ll see you again at one? That would be fun.

Amy
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Re: I've lost count of how many times I have restarted....

Postby amandamechele » Sat Nov 09, 2019 6:51 pm

I have decided to state my goals for the next 2 months. I have thought about them and think I know the level I wish to commit to. These goals will start Monday afternoon, as I am away. (This doesn’t mean I’m not McDougalling or anything until then - I am - but it will be closer to the regular program.)

My Intentions for November/December 2019:

Main Goals:
1) Follow the MWL food guidelines when I eat at home.
2) Use no added sugar and add no salt to my pre-cooked food for this period of time. (The addition of salt while cooking is a part of the guidelines that I have somewhat consistently ignored and I think it’s time to give that a wholehearted try).
3) Minimize condiment use to 1 tbsp per day - I hope to try to eliminate it for this 1.5 month period of time, but I’m just not ready to commit in these first few days.

Restaurant Goals:
There are 5 restaurants that I visit regularly, here are my goals for when eating out there:
Local Steakhouse:
- Eat only the baked potato and the 1 type of side steamed vegetables that they serve.
- do not eat the bread that they serve (this sometimes happens).
Local Chinese Restuarant:
- they have worked with me and will serve steamed white rice, steamed mixed vegetables and steamed green beans with nothing added. They also will serve me steamed medium soft tofu. The tofu is not MWL but if I eat there over the next two months I may still eat it.
Local Sushi Restaurant:
- I can’t actually eat there for this period of time, except for the white rice. Everything has added salt and sugar, even the veggie options that I usually enjoy.
Wendy’s:
I’ll just continue to get what I always do, baked potato and side garden salad - hold the dressing, hold the cheese.

Social Goals:
1) Avoid dinner parties at other people’s homes, if possible, for November/December (end of December will need some modifications if we end up flying east to visit family). Suggest approved restaurants above. I find it harder to turn down things when I know they have taken effort to make and are well intentioned, even off plan items, so for me it may be best to attempt to completely avoid those situations for the time being.
2) Do not eat at the cafeteria for lunch - even the on plan stuff. It’s too tempting being in there.
3) Only drink plain tea (or water, I guess) when out for a coffee with friends.
4) Bring my own food to the parties/weddings I am attending. (These are always bigger and busier and usually no one cares what I am eating or is trying to have me try something that they made)

Exercise Goals:
None. I am not making this my focus for this period of time. Walking briskly 5-6 days per week for 30-40 mins a day, in addition to resistance training a few times a week will be attempted at a future date. No excuses here, I just don’t want to tackle this right now.

Alcohol Goals:
Continue to abstain

Holiday Meal Goals:
The only holiday social gatherings left for me this year are Christmas and New Year’s. I’ll just follow my social and main goals above, in addition to ensuring that anything temptingly off plan that enters my home for a given dinner must leave my home or be thrown out as the dinner ends. I am more likely to be able to handle avoiding the tempting item while people are still around; it’s when I am alone with it that the problems begin.

Ok, that’s it. I wish myself much luck! XO.
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Re: I've lost count of how many times I have restarted....

Postby laurag » Sun Nov 10, 2019 11:26 am

Hi there :-D I wrote myself some goals too! I was also like you not focusing on exercise while I tried to just focus on food but I'm ready to get it back. Just thought I would say hi and good luck to you too!
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