Day 20 and the others I have missed:
I have been eating on plan and continue to wait for a time when this begins to feel less like a diet and more like a permanent way of eating.
We had 2 Mother's Day celebrations to attend this weekend and an additional party. There was off plan food around at all times.
I came prepared for all the Saturday events and grazed all day on fruit and raw veggies in between my (home prepared) meals.
Sunday I didn't have time to prepare so we stopped at a grocery store and bought precut fruit and some veggies that I made into a lunch and dinner dish to get me through the day.
Here's what I made on Sunday:
Purple Yams and Broccoli by
amandamechele, on Flickr
Ingredients: Purple Yams, Broccoli, Spring Onions, Sambal Oelek (Chili Sauce), Salt to taste, 3 drops Sesame oil (which I will skip in the future as I couldn't even taste it).
Though I am happy that I successfully navigated these events, I am still in a negative place about this, I am disheartened to say. I resented watching everyone eat all the unhealthy food that still looks very delicious to me. My family never pressures me to eat what they are eating or feels intimidated by my following plan. My husband's mother, on the other hand, still tries to get me to taste all of her food and special treats and candies from her travels. Luckily my husband and his sister always jump in to stop her, because my protests fall on deaf ears. But I still feel cheated or deprived.
I recognize the folly of these thoughts, but I am still having them.
I am quite young to have failing health and this is why I must continue on this path but I wish I could embrace it with a happy heart.
I weighed myself early this week, so this week I am down 4.5 pounds. That's very good.
I am considering doing a short water only fast (like discussed in the Pleasure Trap) in order to try and rid myself of my morning-only stiff joints. I'm not sure yet, it is a big step.
Well, that is all for now, dear journal.