~Skye~'s journal

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~Skye~'s journal

Postby ~Skye~ » Mon Oct 29, 2012 4:00 pm

Well, today is day two of my new resolve. I was just starting dinner and I had a craving for chips. It seemed in that moment that going out and getting a bag of potato chips would be easier than cooking dinner. But I managed to talk myself into putting the beans on for a quick soak instead. So far, so good.

I'm still deciding what my goals are other than staying off the chips. I do know I have more weight to loose - about 20 lbs. I started off a little above 200 lbs. and now I'm down to 130 lbs. I may end up closer to 100 lbs. (I'm only 5 feet tall) but 110 lbs. is my goal. So that's another goal. And exercise. Exercise is a goal too. I don't know what I'm going to do about exercise - I don't like it.

I wanted to start this journal so I could get feedback and support in my effort to be healthy. I understand the importance of being healthy since I am recovering from a recent flare of Ulcerative colitis, or Chron's disease (one doctor says one thing, the other doctor says another). But it is hard for me, with my terrible memory, to maintain focus and resolve when there are so many temptations out there. Hopefully this journal will help me keep track of things.

I think one reason I went off track recently is because of comments from my therapist and my personal trainer. "One bag of chips isn't going to hurt you," and "you have to eat something bad once in a while." Neither of those comments are true. They are just more excuses to lead an unhealthy life, and I don't want that. Well, I ended my relationship with that therapist, and I guess I will end the relationship with the personal trainer as soon as I've got caught up on my sessions.

I've made a lot of progress since Feb. 2011, when I started this diet. I've been on MWL all that time theoretically. I have eaten potato and corn chips along, and I've had the occasional flour product, and we went "wild" with dried fruits and nuts over the holidays last year. Oh, and I had lobster for my birthday last year, and half a gluten-free Gourmet White pizza from Mellow Mushroom this year. I had one piece of bacon early on, when we were donating the non-plan food in the house to friends. And, I had two small and three large bags of dairy containing chips in the last couple of months. Oh, I also ate two cartons of egg whites while I was sick with UC because the doctor insisted that I needed to eat more protein. But really, that is the sum total of all my non-plan eating over the last year and 9 months. I think that's pretty good considering my heart wasn't in it. OK, that's my confession.

But, I was sliding. The occasional bag of chips was becoming a daily habit, and I can't afford to do that. I mean that literally, it is too expensive. And, it's not healthy. I got to a point where I decided I needed to change what I was doing for me. I decided to turn to this discussion board as a tool to help me make that change. And, I made a bargain with myself that I would try some vegan cheese if I could stay off the chips.

Cheese was one of my favorites pre-McDougall. I have discovered that after eating this way for over a year, I'm not so fond of cheese anymore. So, I'm not looking to replace cheese. And I realize I might not like it. But, I do have to try it. But, I've decided not to make any of the added oil recipes. I haven't bought any oil since I moved out on my own in March, so why start now?

So, that's the beginning of the plan. And now it's time to cook dinner. Happy eating!

~Skye~
Last edited by ~Skye~ on Mon Nov 12, 2012 10:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: ~Skye~'s Journal

Postby bunsofaluminum » Mon Oct 29, 2012 7:26 pm

well, lookit you!

did you lose all that weight doing MWL? Congrats, and I agree: ditch the therapist. And ditch the chips. My biggie when I came back full-force was buttered popcorn.

Oh, and also...do you think the grease in the chips exacerbates your digestive issues? I have IBS and I KNOW grease makes it SO bad. I can't eat chips at all.

anyways, I'm glad you're journaling. Looking forward to seeing you progress and continue doing wonderfully!
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Re: ~Skye~'s Journal

Postby ~Skye~ » Tue Oct 30, 2012 8:34 am

Thanks buns! Yes all that weight - except the last 15 lbs. was MWL - with chips. I guess I wasn't really MWL 'cause I had chips. Oh well. The last 15 lbs. or so were due to the IBD flare. I lost an additional 10 lbs. but I gained that back. It is the first weight I've gained in just about two years, so now I'm all freaked out and I desperately want to loose weight. I'm trying to calm myself though because I know it was unhealthy weight loss. But I got into a size 6 skirt, and now I want to be tiny! OK I'm babbling.

Initially I thought my IBD flare was due to the chips because that was the only thing I had eaten off plan. Then I talked to people, including my mother who is strictly MWL. She's got zero problems staying on plan - I don't know how she does it, but she's my inspiration. Anyway, she doesn't think the chips caused it. But, Dr. McDougall said "fat is very inflammatory," when asked. So, I think my best bet is to just stay away from the added oil chips.

Thanks again for the encouragement!

~Skye~
Last edited by ~Skye~ on Wed Oct 31, 2012 5:22 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: ~Skye~'s Journal

Postby ~Skye~ » Tue Oct 30, 2012 9:55 am

Food eaten yesterday:

Breakfast: Coffee with 1 Tbs. sugar, and some almond milk; Nature's Path - Mesa Sunrise cereal, and almond milk.

Lunch: Spicy Citrus Black Beans, and white Basmati rice, one bunch of kale, half in a blended drink with 1/2 lb. strawberries, and half as kale chips, some with salt, and some with balsamic vinegar.

Dinner: Chickpeas and Spinach in a Pressure Cooker with white Basmati rice, white wine, frozen banana with honey, cocoa powder, and peanut flour.

I'm going to cook some brown rice today. The white Basmati rice was just sitting in my cupboard and it was quick to cook. I also want to limit my wine consumption to one bottle on the weekends - if that. I haven't been convinced that coffee is bad yet, so it stays for a while.

Well, I put some brown rice in a jar in order to start making the rejuvelac for the cheese. I'm going to make cheddar first. Any suggestions what I should do with it? I was thinking maybe nachos with taco flavored tofu crumbles, or a baked potato with some fake sour cream, salt, and chives. Maybe both.

I think tomorrow I will make mashed potatoes. I haven't had mashed potatoes in a while, and I like mashed potatoes. Then I think I'll make some chana dahl. I keep meaning to make curried potatoes, but I haven't yet. Anyway, I don't like planning too far ahead because I change my mind. And sometimes my plans are too ambitious. Planning is something I'm not too good at. Also, I tend to misjudge how much food a recipe makes, or how long it will last since it's just me.

Feeding myself is a big deal for me. I moved out of my mother's house after about ten years of being disabled, in March of this year. I haven't made as much progress with my life as I had hoped, but I have been able to mostly stay on plan - except for the chips. And, there hasn't really been that many chips until recently. But it's been a huge success eating as well as I have. I haven't been MWL all the time. I don't have the discipline. Hopefully this journal will help with that. I tend to go for the flour products, and nuts.

I think part of it is that after living with my mother who was so strict, I see all these things that aren't MWL, but are legal for regular plant-based, and I want them. Then I realize that I have the freedom to buy them. And, I don't have anyone saying why I shouldn't eat them. And I haven't been convinced I need to be MWL. I'm not all hung up about loosing weight.

But now I do want to loose weight. It's funny how my body bothers me more now than it did when I was 200 lbs. I feel bigger - even though I've lost several sizes of clothes. I was a 1X and now I'm a size 10 in pants and S in blouses. At least that's what I bought at Coldwater Creek this past weekend. And boy was that fun! I don't get a lot of that fun because I've been reluctant to spend much money on clothes that will only fit for a season. So now I want to be finished. That's a new perspective for me.

So, I guess MWL is a goal - except for the holidays. Oh, and the cheese. I don't know. I think it's important for me to enjoy my food. Otherwise I will be more inclined to buy bacon, which is really bad. Maybe I'll just have to focus on small victories like only eating cheese twice a week, or only drinking one bottle of wine a week. It's a start. And, I think developing an exercise habit is more important than being strictly MWL.

So, my goals for today are to not eat any chips, and spend an hour at the gym. I plan to spend 30 min. with the weight machines, and 30 min. on the treadmill.

~Skye~
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Re: ~Skye~'s Journal

Postby mtns » Tue Oct 30, 2012 1:02 pm

Your menu looks so yummy. Congrats on the weight loss. I know for a fact those little things can stall weight loss. I have had that problem as well, espcially with the last 12lbs. of weight that I need to lose. You can do it though.
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Re: ~Skye~'s Journal

Postby bunsofaluminum » Tue Oct 30, 2012 6:56 pm

mmmm, I want the recipe for the Citrusy Black Beans...gotta try them!

I hear you, too, on the "mom not in control anymore" thing...It set me off to two decades of obesity, because suddenly I could eat whatever I wanted, and my mom COULDN'T STOP ME! :lol:

but your menus do look good, and your clothing size is VERY good. *covet*

(10 or 8 is what I'm aiming for in jeans...someday!)

keep it up Rooting for ya!
JUST DON'T EAT IT

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Re: ~Skye~'s Journal

Postby ~Skye~ » Tue Oct 30, 2012 9:03 pm

Kathy, thanks for the encouragement. It is good to hear that the last few pounds are tough. Not what I want to hear, but good to hear. And I try to eat food that I really like. I like trying new things, but if I don't like what I'm eating then I'm more likely to go off plan.

Buns, thanks for the support. It's good to hear that I'm not the only one with mother issues. It pains me to admit it, but I actually spent a good many years living off Doritos. I would literally have a bag of Doritos for dinner every night. Five nights a week. The other two I'd have a packaged pasta product. It was awful, but it wasn't until I went on some prescribed drugs that I really ballooned up. And all I did to loose the weight is follow this diet, mostly MWL, and no more than one bag of chips a week. You can do it too!
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Re: ~Skye~'s Journal

Postby bunsofaluminum » Wed Oct 31, 2012 9:52 am

It's amazing to me that you lost weight while still eating chips. Maybe I have a super efficient metabolism or something, but my body takes a LONG time to drop the first pounds.

I did go from 235 to 180 w/mcdougall, from 2009 into 2011, but I let myself wander...and honestly I was eating maybe a handful of chips two evenings per week...that stopped my weight loss, and a year later I'd gained back 25 lbs, still eating healthy meals, but snacking on high fat snacks in-between. Now I'm back to serious again, since mid August, and have lost 6-8 lbs...and it took four weeks before the first pounds dropped.

anyway, I'm doing this for the rest of my life, and looking at my heroes, such as frozenveg and Nettie, who started a bit older and still took it all off...I know just doing it day to day will get it done.

sorry to hijack! :lol:

blessings, Heidi
JUST DON'T EAT IT

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Re: ~Skye~'s Journal

Postby ~Skye~ » Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:24 am

Heidi, it's interesting to hear other people's stories. Thanks for posting! I find it amazing that you can eat a handful of chips. If I eat one, I eat the whole bag. I started off last year eating Fritos, and those I could eat half a bag one day and save the rest for the next day because I didn't love them as much. And I think they are denser. When I was in high school and I got my daily snack out of the vending machine I would often get Fritos because they weighed the most and I thought they were a better value.

OK, that was very telling. I don't just like chips, I LOVE them, and giving up something you love is very difficult. And also, I've been eating chips for a long time - thirty years or so.
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Re: ~Skye~'s Journal

Postby bunsofaluminum » Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:37 am

a handful of chips, yes...but give me popcorn, and i'll eat a whole batch myself, and sometimes make a second batch to eat...thank goodness for microwave poppers that use no oil, and i like popcorn well enough plain, that I eat it without anything on it.

The only drawback for you, on eating chips, is probably the harmful effect of the oils on your circulatory system. And you've cut back to one bag a week, so...
JUST DON'T EAT IT

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Re: ~Skye~'s Journal

Postby ~Skye~ » Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:55 am

Buns, I don't like popcorn without the salt, and the salt won't stick without the oil. At least I haven't gotten it to. I have experimented with sprinkling the popcorn with a water/salt/nutritional yeast mixture. It was good, but a bit soggy. And, I don't have an air popper. I'm excited about the TopChips thing I ordered. Fat free potato chips in just a few minutes in the microwave. It sounds perfect. I can't wait to try it. And it would be actual food unlike commercial chips which are junk. And quite frankly I don't like the oily feeling I get from even the lower fat commercial chips.

~Skye~
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Re: ~Skye~'s Journal

Postby ~Skye~ » Wed Oct 31, 2012 12:08 pm

Yesterday's menu:

Breakfast: Coffee with 1 Tbs. sugar, and some almond milk; Nature's Path - Mesa Sunrise cereal, and almond milk

Lunch: Spicy Citrus Black Beans, and white Basmati rice; broccoli

Snack: Baked cut up corn tortillas, and salsa

Dinner: Chickpeas and Spinach in a Pressure Cooker with brown rice; half a bunch of kale sauteed in No-Chicken Broth and a splash of OJ because I had it

Well I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I didn't eat any of the commercial chips which I'm trying to avoid. When I had my moment of weakness I baked some tortilla chips instead and had some salsa. The bad news is I didn't exercise because I had a headache. But today is Wed. and I have a personal trainer appointment, so I will definitely exercise today. So some good news and some bad news.

I should mention that I have about a half a cup of OJ nightly to wash down my pro-biotic. It is an unflavored powder, and needs to be mixed with something. I believe this pro-biotic is what helped me get over my recent IBD flare. It is specially designed for IBD, so I'm not giving it up just yet.

I had a terrible time cooking yesterday. I don't know how to cook brown rice. I tried boiling it in a lot of water, and then draining it. I checked it after about half an hour and it didn't seem done, so I let it cook some more. Well, it got all gummy, and it browned and stuck to the bottom of the pan. I guess it's still edible. I'll see today. Apparently I don't know how to cook kale either as I burnt the kale. I ate the non-burnt portion for dinner last night. It was rather disappointing.

But, I didn't eat chips! And I was sorely tempted too. Well, I didn't eat commercial chips. I ate tortilla chips that I baked myself. But those are all right. Well, they are a flour product which I'm trying to limit, but it's better than all the oil in commercial chips.

And I have my goals for the Holiday Challenge hosted by Katydid:
1) No commercial chips
2) No added oil
3) Exercise at least three times a week
4) Post at least twice a week
5) Enjoy the holidays

I'm trying to set reasonable goals so I don't set myself up for failure. I think focusing on one or two things makes more sense for me than trying to do everything at once. I think the exercise is going to be the hardest for me. I don't enjoy exercise, and I've forgotten why it's important. I started a morning treadmill habit last year after I heard a program about the benefits to cognition of exercise. I need to find that and listen to it again.

Really it's about forming and quitting habits. I quit smoking in June of this year, right before the Costa Rica trip because I thought smoking would be inconvenient. I'm not really having any bad cravings, but I still want one once in a while. I don't think that's played a part in my recent chip bonanza, but yesterday I thought about having a cigarette, and then I thought about chips. I was able to resist going out and getting either one or the other or both without much trouble, but the desire is still there.

The other thing I want to mention is regarding goal #5. Last year my father died. He was found on Dec. 21st. I was not feeling well on Christmas. We packed the car and drove up to NY the 26th and 27th. The funeral was the 28th. We cleaned out my father's apartment on the 29th, then drove up to Albany to visit a cousin. I spent New Year's Eve in a hotel so my mother could make it to work on the 2nd. It was one of the worst holiday seasons I've ever had.

I got some mail from the funeral home advertising some sort of grief counseling, and it occurred to me that the holidays might be hard. I don't think they will be though. I talked to my Father every day, but we weren't what I would call close. I've had a year to get used to him not being there. He was in poor health, so his death wasn't a surprise. I was very worried about him for a few months prior to his death. At least this year I won't have to worry about him, or planning a funeral, or cleaning out his apartment. I'm not one to really get excited about death anniversaries, but I do want to be aware of it.

~Skye~
Last edited by ~Skye~ on Wed Oct 31, 2012 5:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: ~Skye~'s Journal

Postby mtns » Wed Oct 31, 2012 1:13 pm

I am sorry about your dad. I can't imagine what that is like. I had a baby that died and I know the holidays were tough, but I pray that for you you can find something to bring you joy during this holiday season.

Brown rice does take longer to cook. I usually use 2 c. of water to 1 c. of rice. I don't add the rice until the water is boiling and then add the rice and then cover with lid and turn down heat to low and cook for about 40-50 min. I have heard that they have frozen steamable brown rice in the stores, but for me it is cheaper to buy the dry brown rice.

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Re: ~Skye~'s Journal

Postby ~Skye~ » Wed Oct 31, 2012 5:34 pm

Kathy, thanks for your kind thoughts on my dad. I think for me, having a baby die would be worse, so my heart goes out to you.

Thanks for the hints on the brown rice! I really appreciate that. I guess I will try again. I don't really like rice, and this didn't do anything to help that. Still, I can't imagine my Spicy Citrus Black Beans with mashed potatoes...

~Skye~
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Re: ~Skye~'s Journal

Postby Salad-Dayz » Wed Oct 31, 2012 11:28 pm

Skye,
I, too am sorry about your dad. It must be hard to lose a parent. When we're young we think are parents are invincible, and that they'll always be there to help us when we need them. Sometimes we carry that thought into adulthood. So no matter how their health is, good or deteriorating it's still a shock when they pass away. A year is never long enough to get used to it, but I hope your recovery continues to get stronger every day.

Well done for not eating the commercial packets of crisps (chips are our word for french fries. It took me a while to remember that). And yes, baked tortillas is far better than the oil you would have consumed if you ate a bag o' chips.

Onwards and upwards, Skye, you're doing really well.
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