Other family members and their diets.

[eXtremE]

I am single. I have no children. I only have to worry about feeding myself. This question is for those of you who are married and/or have children. What if your spouse and children don't wish to eat the way you do? Is this a source of contention in the family? I suppose if you raise a small child to eat healthy and avoid the SAD, he or she may continue eating this way for the remainder of his or her life. I will say this. One you are addicted to the standard toxic American diet, it is very hard to switch to a healthy WFPB diet. You do have a certain amount of control over a small child in the home but once they start school, they are not with you 24/7 thus you can't monitor what they are eating all the time. I have tried to get my mother to make the switch to a WFPB diet like I have done but she refuses. I have told her all the positive health benefits I have received since I have been on the diet in an effort to motivate her but it falls on deaf ears. She has numerous health problems that could be helped by this diet. She is almost 70 years old.

Like that old saying, you can lead a horse to water but you can't force him to drink. I think if I could just get my mother to do it for a month or two, that might convince her. She would feel so much better I think that she would trade in her toxic, addictive, yet delicious foods for the improvements in her health and less reliance on all the Rx meds she takes.

I mean you are never going to get healthy PB foods to taste like cheesecake or steak and eggs or southern fried fried chicken or triple decker hamburgers loaded with melted cheese that titillate the taste buds and light up the pleasure centers in the brain but look how much pain and suffering you go thru just because you want to continue dong these harmful things to your body. It is no different than someone addicted to heroin.

I mean you can learn to enjoy the healthy foods and you avoid all the pain and suffering and save yourself a ton of money by not having to rely on doctors and Rx pills and medical procedures to keep you alive so you can keep doing the very things that are making you sick.

[vgpedlr]

I have tried to get my mother to make the switch to a WFPB diet like I have done but she refuses. I have told her all the positive health benefits I have received since I have been on the diet in an effort to motivate her but it falls on deaf ears. She has numerous health problems that could be helped by this diet. She is almost 70 years old.

I knoiw exactly what you mean. I watch my parents' health decline month by month. They're also about 70. They have heard the information, read some of the books, seen the benefits I've received, but to no avail. They continue to eat SAD and take drugs. Unfortunately in this environment, you feel like the Matrix movies, or that children's book about the emperor's new clothes. The truth seems obvious, except that it isn't.

[houtle85]

You raise a very important concern. I too struggle with the same concern for my husband and family.

I have been vegetarian since last March 2013. However, my primary reason for doing this was to lose weight. I have tried many other diets, including the "high protein/low carb" program at the Quick Weight Loss Center. I actually was very successful in losing the weight (38 lbs). Unfortunately, as often happens, I just went back to my old ways and gained every bit of it back. I just recently have made the full change to a vegan diet. The last items that I eliminated were olive oil and vegan butter after discovering Dr. McDougall's lectures on the internet.

My husband has been with me every step of the way. However, I can tell that he still wants to eat eggs, olive oil, and vegan butter. This is most concerning to me because although he is very active and in very good shape, his family has a history of heart attacks and strokes, and his cholesterol is high.

At the same time, I keep telling my husband that he has the freedom to choose what he eats. I want him to eat healthy, but I believe that if you berate others too much that they will get "turned off" to the message that you are trying to send.

I am also concerned for my family. My mother and father eat and are very unhealthy. Worst of all, my three brothers have been raised with these unhealthy habits, and everyone in my family is overweight. I feel that the best way to tackle difficult family members is to lead by example. Meaning, do the best that you can to adapt this new healthy lifestyle. When those around you see how healthy, trim, and happy you are, they will be much more likely to listen to what you have to say.

Best wishes!

[JulieS]

When I first began this WOE, my DH was full on board 3 meals a day. And after 3 weeks all his lipid panel results were within normal range. However, then poof, in the last month he bailed! He will still eat a WFPB dinner that I cook us, but whenever I am not around, he eats SAD. I told him that I would only say this once to him...that he is still damaging his body and putting himself at risk of getting chronic diseases if he eats SAD part-time. Cutting back on SAD will not help him unfortunately. He heard me loud and clear but continues to eat SAD lunches, etc. Forget it when we have to dine out. He is all over the SAD menu items! But, I can't push anymore, as I've already made him watch and read lots of videos and books, so it is his adult choice.

[nicoles]

When I started it was just me; although my husband was supportive, he was not on board for himself. He was skeptical that this diet was healthy, despite or perhaps because of all the purported benefits.

Watching me re-gain health and lose weight, in combination with watching a few videos, turned him around slowly, ad now he is finally fully on board, a zealot! He is far more inclined to preach the dietary gospel to people than I am.

My parents also changed their diet to this WOE, after my Dad was diagnosed with a heart condition and pre-diabetes and I sent him that really convincing video of the atherosclerosis reversal that Dr Esselstyn shows in one of his presentations. They had already seen my improvements over a period of about 6 months, and were much more open to the idea.

My father-in-law had a heart attack about a year ago, and then, after seeing me and my husband improve our health and lose weight, and sending him Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease to read, both he and my MIL switched their diet.

However, the shifts are not as total as mine: my parents, in-laws and husband all still eat meat and dairy occasionally, even still. I am the only one who has not since I began.

[eXtremE]

When I first began this WOE, my DH was full on board 3 meals a day. And after 3 weeks all his lipid panel results were within normal range. However, then poof, in the last month he bailed! He will still eat a WFPB dinner that I cook us, but whenever I am not around, he eats SAD. I told him that I would only say this once to him...that he is still damaging his body and putting himself at risk of getting chronic diseases if he eats SAD part-time. Cutting back on SAD will not help him unfortunately. He heard me loud and clear but continues to eat SAD lunches, etc. Forget it when we have to dine out. He is all over the SAD menu items! But, I can't push anymore, as I've already made him watch and read lots of videos and books, so it is his adult choice.

Yeah, I hear you loud and clear Julie. It is a personal choice. I am not in a relationship currently but if I was and my partner wanted to eat this way, so be it. I once dated a girl for several years who smoked. I mean I still loved her and smoking had nothing to do with the breakup of the relationship. Most people want those they love and care for to be as healthy as possible but once many ppl are addicted to the SAD, they find any other way of eating almost impossible to do. Sometimes, it takes a tragic even like a heart attack or a cancer DX to force (scare) some ppl to change.

[eXtremE]

Hi houtle85,
I think you are absolutely right. That is why I have never pressed the issue with my mother. Like you said, the longer I am on the diet and she sees the health benefits I am getting, maybe she will think to herself, hmmmm, maybe I should give this a try and see what happens. Congrats to you on making the switch. You have been on the diet for longer than me. Even tho I have only been of the diet for a month, I have already seen several positive health benefits. This change in how I feel motivates me to continue. The foods that I really still miss the most are the sweet things loaded with butter and sugar. I will probably always be addicted to sugar in many ways but I have made a promise to myself that I am not going to eat this stuff anymore. Having said that, I am not gonna beat myself up either if i slip and fall a little along the way.

Even Dr. Mc'D says he is not a vegan or vegetarian and he proves it each year by having a piece of turkey at Thanksgiving.

[eXtremE]

When I started it was just me; although my husband was supportive, he was not on board for himself. He was skeptical that this diet was healthy, despite or perhaps because of all the purported benefits.

Watching me re-gain health and lose weight, in combination with watching a few videos, turned him around slowly, ad now he is finally fully on board, a zealot! He is far more inclined to preach the dietary gospel to people than I am.

My parents also changed their diet to this WOE, after my Dad was diagnosed with a heart condition and pre-diabetes and I sent him that really convincing video of the atherosclerosis reversal that Dr Esselstyn shows in one of his presentations. They had already seen my improvements over a period of about 6 months, and were much more open to the idea.

My father-in-law had a heart attack about a year ago, and then, after seeing me and my husband improve our health and lose weight, and sending him Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease to read, both he and my MIL switched their diet.

However, the shifts are not as total as mine: my parents, in-laws and husband all still eat meat and dairy occasionally, even still. I am the only one who has not since I began.

Wow, this is really great nicoles that you have been able to make such a positive impact on the lives of the people you love who love you back. We all want the best not only for ourselves but the people we love too.

[ajhondrngal]

Diets have never been a source of contention...whether it was a cleaned up SAD or this way of eating. I have never forced any eating plan on the family. I realized that I didn't control every bite they ate. I encouraged and provided good, healthy foods...as far as I understood it to be at the time. Since our kids are teens and young adults I allow them to make choices about foods they want to eat, encourage the good stuff, try not to overdo on the not so good stuff they bring home. I've always been concerned about teaching them a better way of looking at food than I have had over the years.

Husband and kids have been pretty supportive with this change. We made the switch over very slowly so they wouldn't be too shocked. They are doing pretty good, but they still lack the commitment I am trying to develop for myself. It makes it hard when they bring something home, and I'm at a weak spot. Husband is getting more and more committed himself, though, so that helps some.

As for my parents and siblings. I can only hope that my example will rub off. It's hard seeing my parents' health worsen when I know that some of it could be improved by a change in diet. But they are in their 70's, and sometimes I think they are too close to the end of the race to care. Honestly, I sometimes feel the same way. One sister in particular would greatly benefit from this, but she deflects any attempt to teach her about this way of eating. So I'm hoping example will win. I just need to be committed enough to be that example.

[bluebell]

I was searching for a topic such as this one trying to find a good answer!

My sister is going through this ‘dilemma’, influenced by her husband that a ‘vegan diet’ is only for ‘weirdoes’ and that it won’t help at all because ‘we always have vegetables with our steak and/or fish, and eat more chicken than red meat, and very little pork’. She is on a cocktail of blood pressure medication, blood thinner, cholesterol lowering drug and some more, possibly some drugs to treat her arthritis.

I am fed up listening to all her complaints about her health problems every time I talk to her, but have not found a way to convince her to at least give a ‘vegan diet’ a try. We grew up on a farm, milk, cheese, eggs and meat belonged to just about every meal, and to change this in their sixties is probably just too much trouble for them. Both parents ended up very overweight and on blood pressure medication which, I believe, resulted in their becoming diabetic. Both also had very high cholesterol levels, although I was told after a test that my ‘genetic cholesterol’ was very low. I assume that my parents must have had low cholesterol levels as well at some stage or another. Both parents had severe osteoporosis which I also believe was due to consuming too much dairy products. My mother’s spine ‘collapsed’ which added to her pain, and my father had a hip fracture at age 89, passing away half a year later.

One would assume that after what our parents have gone through my sister, as well as my two other siblings, who are also on blood pressure medication, would learn a lesson and try a different direction. Alas, they still believe that it is genetics that makes them suffer so much and not the unhealthy diet. Although they can see that I am doing much better than them they refuse to acknowledge that this is most likely due to my vegan ‘diet’. I don’t consider this as a diet; it is just a healthy form of eating.

I am now sending her recipes including photos of our own meals to make her see that the dishes looks appetizing and nutritious. I hope for the best. It is beyond me why they at least do not want to give it a try. They have nothing to lose. Weirdoes. Very frustrating and sad to watch. I fear ‘eXtremE’, the original OP, is right: You can lead a horse to water but you can't force him to drink.

[mapat]

It is very frustrating to know this way of eating could help so many people, yet so many simply refuse to make any changes.
I live with my daughter and her three children and do most of the cooking for all of us. Thankfully, my 8 year old granddaughter loves her veggies, so she does very well. My daughter, I think is just too busy to make this a priority right now. She has however been paying more attention as I keep losing weight, and she keeps gaining. At least more willing now to try new things, even if she hasn't given up much of those unhealthy foods. The boys are 16 & 19--tough to make changes there, especially as they often cook their own junk foods, and pretty much refuse to eat anything green.

They do eat salads, so slowly increasing the greens (rather than just iceberg lettuce) and always have veggie trays available to add other things. I also tend to sneak well-chopped greens into things like their chili (often vegetarian chili, which they often don't even notice After refusing to buy chocolate mix for their milk, they drank a lot less. Then three months ago, I started watering it down--almost to half milk/half water now--so far, no one has complained. (My daughter noticed eventually, but doesn't complain) (I use almond milk in cooking)

While I still cook many of their 'regular' foods, I generally cook less of it, and offer alternatives. So if there are no more burgers and they're still hungry, well, try a bean burger. The 19yr old likes the beans; 15yr no. Everyone is different. Keep trying and hopefully find things they like. They also like things they can just 'grab & eat', so I try to find healthy snacks to tempt them with. They really don't notice if I use whole grain pasta instead of white; been gradually increasing the whole wheat in home baked goodies,and finally, after a whole year, we no longer even buy white bread. It takes persistence and commitment. And a lot of creativity.