Ideas please

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Ideas please

Postby Louese » Wed Aug 27, 2014 8:45 pm

Hi there
I know that I will be having a few problems soon so am getting in early...planning ahead :)

My concern is how to meet the families needs while still meeting mine. Mine tend to be put on the back burner in the past - I want and need to change that idea though.

DH - likes different meals constantly. Not even a weekly rotation. Hence no "slop" two days running or similar foods. Tends to be mostly vegetarian.
D1 - mostly vegan. So this will be easy.
D2 - fructose intolerant and mostly vegetarian.

I have no desire to prepare different meals for everyone, or spend lots of time in the kitchen if I don't need to.

I want to make everyone happy and be a people pleaser but I know that I am going to struggle when they start complaining.
* Struggle = emotional eating, give up

Seeking ideas.
Thanks
Louese
 
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Re: Ideas please

Postby judynew » Thu Aug 28, 2014 1:49 am

Hi, Louese

When I saw the word "slop" in your message, I felt my BP rising. If people are complaining, perhaps they would like to draw up a roster and take turns with the meal preparation. Ask them all to sit down with you and draw up a menu plan. Get them invested in the food system in your home. I know it is easy to look at other people's situations from the outside and it isn't that simple to make changes from the inside but your health and happiness are at stake.

Sorry for the rant. I understand that this probably wasn't what you were looking for but you are not a servant or even an employee. Your needs and wishes are just as important as anyone else's in your family and you are entitled to their respect and support.

Stay strong
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Re: Ideas please

Postby grid » Sun Aug 31, 2014 1:52 am

Welcome aboard, Louese :)

Judynew is right, you have to work with them on changing the meal plan and not to seek how to serve their desire.

I have no child so I don't have any experience with feeding children, but me and my husband are foodies and even my DH likes to eat different foods at different meals (nowadays I tend to talk to myself and decide I'm too lazy to make other food than that is already there :mrgreen: ). But I would write you some tips which work for both of us (me and my DH):

- I always keep different starches ready to eat in the fridge. It means I have home made bread, cooked rice, baked potato at hand.
- I always keep different ready to eat veggies at hand. It means I always have canned or home cooked beans (beans are basically starch but we eat them like veggies beside the starches), canned or home cooked veggies (the cooked are drained and put in a plastic container, the liquid is reserved to make soups with it).
- I always keep different condiments in the fridge, like home made ketchup, mustard creme, sauces we like, etc.
- I always keep at least one sandwich spread ready at hand.
- I always have some fresh veggie in the fridge ready to eat or in the garden (not so ready to eat). These are mostly salad veggies, like prepped lettuce, cucumber, bell pepper, tomato, different types of onions and whatever you like and/or is in season.

It sounds like huge work, but it's not if you already started, because we usually don't run out two things at the same day, so I need to replace (cook) no more than one thing a day. What's more I have routines, like after baking the bread I automatically put a whole plate of washed, whole potato into the oven, or I bake regularly beans in the oven when I make bread in the morning. In this way I bake the bread, then the beans and I put the potato in at the end (in a day like this I make huge amount of food despite the fact that I spend less than an hour in the kitchen including cleaning). I always make a lot of food even if I have to put some in the freezer because we don't have room in the fridge.

When I'm at home and have time (and energy) I make some one dish meal in the morning. This can be a huge ball of pasta dish (like chili mac or fettucine or whatever your family like) or a rice dish (like mexican rice or fried rice or something from your own repertoire) or in wintertime a hearty soup or just a huge batch of side dish (we love Indian food, so I often make that).

In this way everyone can eat as many times a day as (s)he wants and whatever (s)he wants. Even if you have to make it for them (which is not a good idea in case of adults, IMHO) you already have huge amount of ingredients that are already cooked so you can create a dish in less then 10-15 mins. Frozen veggie mixes are also your good friends if it's about "fast food" :)

Look around in the recipe section of the forum, there are tons of other tips and tricks how to make cooking easy even for four ;-)

Hope it helps
grid
 
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Re: Ideas please

Postby Dougalling » Sun Aug 31, 2014 11:30 am

Hello

Just a thought.
Since they have given you all the responsibility of meal planning, food shopping, cooking, and cleaning then you can give them the responsibility of eating whatever is presented to them. Let them know that you will take their likes and dislikes into consideration but what is on the table is what it is. They can choose to eat it or leave it. If they leave it, they can state why but in no circumstance are they to complain excessively.
They can choose to do the cooking on a specific day each week.
They can choose to take over all your responsibilities.
They cannot choose to do the meal planning and leave you with all the work.
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Re: Ideas please

Postby Louese » Tue Sep 02, 2014 5:50 pm

Dougalling - had a giggle there. You are right. I seem to be a big softy and allow myself to be trodden on.

Grid - I like your ideas. They seem practical and easy to put into place. Thank you.

Don't know when I began thinking / treating myself as the doormat. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. Seems like I have some personal growth to attend to while on this journey. Any ideas on how to move out of this way of thinking?

So far so good. The family has been well behaved. :)
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Re: Ideas please

Postby JulieS » Tue Sep 02, 2014 8:48 pm

Louese wrote:Dougalling - had a giggle there. You are right. I seem to be a big softy and allow myself to be trodden on.
Grid - I like your ideas. They seem practical and easy to put into place. Thank you.
Don't know when I began thinking / treating myself as the doormat. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. Seems like I have some personal growth to attend to while on this journey. Any ideas on how to move out of this way of thinking?
So far so good. The family has been well behaved. :)

Good for you for being available to listen to constructive criticism. :nod: :nod: Good luck and I'm glad it's working out!
LOST 55 POUNDS! From pant size 14 to size 4, BMI:21
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Re: Ideas please

Postby grid » Wed Sep 03, 2014 2:34 am

If you feel the need or it's more comfortable for you, lay down all the rules that guide how your household works smoothly. Talk to them and clear every family member's responsibility from meal planning to chewing. You might be surprised how easy it is and what assumptions are hiding behind their behavior.

For example my DH kept on refusing making his own meals from the cooked, prepared ingredients or even heating up already prepared food.Three to five times a day he came to my working room with agonizing face and asked what he could eat. One day I had enough and I sat down talking to him about this. At the end of our chat I had to realize that the main problem was not that he was lazy, but he was afraid of eating anything from the fridge (or even from the garden) because he didn't want to eat something I would use or serve later... I had to find out that his mother's kitchen worked that way and since I had made and served all our meals before starting this plan, this hadn't risen to view. So we created the new rule: everything is free to eat he can find in the house or in the garden whenever he's hungry and it's my responsibility to keep the grocery list up-to-date and keep the fridge and the pantry full of edible stuff.

It also helps, if you share the new (simple) recipes you find. For example one day I made carrot sandwich the first time (one of my favorite since) and because I loved it, I shared the recipe with my DH, so his recipe-collection is also growing with mine. The best if it works vica versa but in some family the housewife comes out with the new ideas, which is OK, you can't force cooking creativity :-D

So don't worry, just be their peer not their servant. All of you are learning something totally different, so you all should support each other.
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Re: Ideas please

Postby azalealilac » Sun Sep 07, 2014 10:08 am

It is good to serve your family. You were created to serve and help your husband. Ask him what he wants to eat and make it for him!
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Re: Ideas please

Postby bcmike » Fri Sep 12, 2014 2:40 am

Grid,
A carrot sandwich ? That's a new one to me, could you please explain how you made this ?
Thanks
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Re: Ideas please

Postby grid » Fri Sep 12, 2014 2:45 am

bcmike wrote:Grid,
A carrot sandwich ? That's a new one to me, could you please explain how you made this ?
Thanks


I wrote about it here, hope you'll like it :)
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Re: Ideas please

Postby bcmike » Fri Sep 12, 2014 2:53 am

I gotta try it--thanks.
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