Journal of my journey

[Morris]

March 6, 2018

Thank you for your kind words Katie. This journal helps me not go totally off track.

Today, I read a testimony of a person who had a lupus diagnosis and has been on the whole food plant based journey for 5 years now and has just now realized how far she has come in her health. This is so encouraging to me. I am on this journey for health reasons. One thing she mentioned is that healing does not take place overnight and it takes time for the body to undo the damage done.

I don't want to get to the point where I have to undo damage done. My mindset is getting closer and closer to where I want it to be. This constant going off track is beginning to get annoying. This is good, this means I am getting tired of not doing the plan. Seriously, what is so hard about choosing an apple instead of a bag of chips? This is why I go back to the Beck Diet Solution, it helps me retrain my thinking. Soon I'll be coming to the page where it will say to take the time and energy to "diet". In the back of my mind, I constantly recall Doug Lisle saying that doing the whole food plant based lifestyle won't be easy and it will take a lot of time and effort because you will need to plan and prepare what you will eat instead of just grab-n-go.

However, the other day I prepped, prepared, ate, and cleaned up a meal in about 70 minutes. It was a 3 course meal: salad, soup and main dish. Since we live out of town, I realized that cooking the meal was actually quicker than going out to eat. Hmmmmm! Well, there goes the "it takes too much time" excuse.

[Morris]

March 9, 2018

I feel bloated today and I thought I was eating better but then I was not tracking my food so I really have no idea what I was eating. I am stressed out over a family situation that will not go away. Perhaps it is from the stress?

Yesterday, I created a dish for the Engine 2 Bowl challenge that was to include sweet potato, pineapple, smoked paprika. I made a dish that also had buckwheat and lentils. Too be honest, I think it tastes better the second day. It was fun coming up with a recipe; now I really out to work on my presentation skills - ha, I really don't have any. I am a just dump it on a plate and eat it kind of gal.

I am on day 9 of the Beck Diet Solution. Yesterday was a total failure: create time and energy for dieting. Who wants to diet anyway? I just want to stop eating junk. But, there were too many unscheduled things happening. I had to go to town to get the ingredients for my dish, but hubby came along. That frustrated me so much because he stops and talks to anyone that will listen to him and he has no regard for how busy I am. Plus he moves so darn slow. Then, my daughter got a phone call about the threat to the high school - the notification came after the fact, but paranoia set in and since I was in town, could I go pick up the grandkids from school? Needless to say my time shopping took way longer than I planned.

Sometimes, I wish I could go to town by myself and not have to drag hubby around. One time I had so many errands to run that I just left him at a store where he was holding someone captive and did a couple other errands and he did not even notice that I was gone. He needs to get out because he is more social than I am. I am content being by myself; I think that is why I took up running - he cannot drag along and I get some "me" time. Speaking of running, it is time for me to get on that treadmill - IFit 5-miler is on my schedule.

[Morris]

March 11, 2018

Well, my weight is bouncing up and down again, but staying in an acceptable range. I am not sure I'll get down to that "ideal" weight. No matter, I am not going to become obsessive about it. I have some extra fat on my thighs that I'd like to be without but I think I'd have to really tighten up my eating to see that gone.

My main goal is to really stop eating junk. I don't know why I am having such a struggle this time around. I am doing the Beck Diet solution, a bit casually this time around, and want to see how far I can get this time. The exercises seem to be a bite excessive, but when I read other books such as McDougall, Esselstyn, Lisle, etc. they all seem to be giving the same type of advice. It really all boils down to what choice am I going to make about what I eat.

It is too easy to blame my poor choice on someone else's behavior, but the reality is it is my own decision and my reaction to what someone is doing. Day 10 of the Beck Diet Solution was to set a realistic goal: complete 7 consecutive days of the Engine 2 7-Day Rescue.

Everytime I start something happens that frustrates me and I find myself standing in the kitchen stuffing myself with whatever I find handy: crackers, marshmallows, bread, etc. I am so thankful that I no longer have chocolate bars laying around the house. Although, I was going through the "snack" cupboard and found a Hershey's chocolate bar (by the way it is still there). Remember, when I was posting about the s'mores kick I was on. Imagine that! I did not pig out on that chocolate bar. The real reason is that I did at one point and came to the realization that eating that bar all by itself is a real nasty experience.

The other day I made some chocolate donuts made with pinto beans and wheat berries that I ground into flour. That is a keeper recipe as it is a bit heartier than the ones I usually make from Happy Herbivore.

My success for the past week: we went out to eat at a Mexican place, I ordered a bowl with rice and beans and vegetable toppings. I felt hungry afterwards and hubby and I were deciding what else to eat. We have a BOGO pie and coffee from Perkins, we thought about that. Hubby said he wanted a cookie. So, we decided on Tim Horton's. Fortunate for me, they were out of cookies, they said they just sold the last one shortly before we walked in. But, they had donuts, donuts and more donuts. They listed the calorie count
that was enough for me. I had no snack at all and I survived.

[Jobet]

They listed the calorie count that was enough for me. I had no snack at all and I survived.

Hi Morris, that took some strengh! Not sure I could have done that well. Just the smell alone there would have gotten to me.

I just posted my first journal entries yesterday, and just now discovered yours. I've enjoyed reading your journal and looking forward to future posts.

[Morris]

March 12, 2018

I am coming to the day of the Beck Diet Solution that I will start my "diet". I am trying to get my hubby to join in, but I don't think that will happen. I keep thinking of the past when we both did the diet and how much easier it was when we both were eating the same way. But now, every time I mention it, he goes out of his way to eat opposite. It is so frustrating.

He tells me that grains cause him to gain weight, but when I make extra for me for later meals I find that he already ate them. And he tells me he doesn't want to eat this way? What gives with that?

My weight is up this morning, but I am sure it is because I decided to watch a movie last night and made a batch of popcorn (oil and salt were added). It was an out of the norm activity for me and I actually enjoyed the movie.

I need to eat more fruit, if I can get to the point where grabbing an apple, orange or grapes becomes second nature, my snacking issue will be less of a problem. I try to eat fruit in the morning, but the engine 2 rescue has it to eat greens with every meal, so I find myself going for the greens instead of fruit. I just need to incorporate fruit in with the greens.

I made a batch of spaghetti sauce and served it over whole grain noodles. I made a onion and orange pepper sauce using my canned tomato sauce. Nothing weird this time. Last time I made spaghetti sauce I threw in so many veggies and even a potato or two.

Well, I gotta get movin', I need to take the dog to the vet for her dental visit. Afterward, I will be going to this spot where bald eagles are congregating to see if I can get some pictures. My last ones did not turn out to well because I really don't have the zoom lens. So, I want to try again in the morning light and hopefully the wind won't be blowing so hard.

[Jobet]

While reading your most recent entry, this jumped out at me:

I just need to incorporate fruit in with the greens.

I often put fresh mandarin slices, pineapple or mango chunks into my green salads then dress with lemon juice or balsamic vinegar. Not everyone would like that, but I love a sweet sour taste, so it works well for me.

[Morris]

March 13, 2108

I feel myself falling into that slump again. Spring is in the air and the roads are muddy, slushy, snow-covered, icy, etc. No idea what I will encounter, so the treadmill and I will have some time together. I enjoy running outside because it is just me and the road.

I am signed up for a 10k race the last weekend of April and a 5k in May; so I have to get my training organized. It seems like my training is about as nonexistent as my eating plan. I really need to get with a program. My first goal that I chose for the Beck Diet Solution is to make it 7 consecutive days with the Rescue Plan. I am letting my hubby's eating habit deter me from my goal and I really need to start doing things for me.

Hubby keeps telling me he wants to eat more salads, and our salads are B.I.G. The other day when we went to a Mexican restaurant, (Subway style, assembly your burrito or bowl as you move down the line), when I asked for spinach the guy put about 1/2 cup on and asked if that was enough. What!? You talking to someone who eating her salad out of a 2 quart mixing bowl. Yeah, we eat big salads.

So, the plus is hubby wants to eat more salads and since the rescue plan is to eat greens with every meal, it should be easy to do. Although, I make the main meal and then we eat leftovers for a few days. It is just easier for me that way. I tried to prep for the week, but did not include hubby's urge to eat out and wasted too much food. So, now I prefer to do just a meal or two at a time.

Yesterday, I made some mashed potatoes and gravy and some vegetable soup. I pigged out on the mashed potatoes and gravy and ate way too much. I went way past my feeling full. I think this is from the popcorn night. Whenever I eat something with oil I seem to binge for a few days afterward.

This morning I started my day with:
coffee
kiwi
banana
blueberries
spring mix

Hopefully, this will set me on the straight and narrow path to eating right again.

[Jobet]

Thanks for your visit, Nancy.

I asked for spinach the guy put about 1/2 cup on and asked if that was enough. What!? You talking to someone who eating her salad out of a 2 quart mixing bowl. Yeah, we eat big salads.

Funny. I eat very large salads too, making meals out of them. I add my grain/starch right into the mix. 1/2 cup of spinach, what is that?

This morning I started my day with:
coffee
kiwi
banana
blueberries
spring mix

Please excuse my newbie question, I'm just curious why your meal doesn't contain starch? When I tried a raw diet once, I would have a similar breakfast and in a half hour I would be so hungry I couldn't stand it. I've learned that i can't eat a lot of fruit, which was causing me to feel lethargic and with horrible cravings. Once I found the McDougall plan, and began adding starch to each meal, the cravings stopped and now my meals are totally satisfying.

I am in awe of your running. I doubt I could run to my mailbox, which is only a few hundred yards. I know what you mean about spring, same conditions here, and I'm itching to get out for spring photography. I hope your weather clears up soon and you can leave the slump behind.

[Morris]

My meal did not include starch because I was going to do a treadmill run and I did not want to have too much in my tummy. Afterwards, I had fatfreevegan's Louisiana Red Beans and Rice. (I just split up my meal)

[Morris]

March 15, 2018

Well, my weight seems to be holding steady. I wonder if I am plateauing again, but it is hard to tell because I have not given up the junk 100%. I am amazed at how many calories that junk foods adds. I am beginning to see that I cannot outrun a bad diet. Today is day 15 on the Beck Diet Solution -- start your diet day. I want to make it through 7 consecutive days of the 7-Day Rescue. I am getting tired of typing out this statement and am coming to the realization that I just need to "get 'er done".

I just wish hubby would get on board, last night he asked me if I wanted to go out for a hamburger. WHAT! A hamburger? I don't even remember the last time I ate a hamburger. What would possess him to even ask me that? Other than the fact I told him I was going to start the 7-Day ... It is wearing me down. I find that when I get frustrated, I grab whatever and shove it in my mouth. At least I know what my issue is. I did not stop for the hamburger and then he got snippy with me. Too bad. My quote for today just happened to be "The best gift you can give your family is a healthier you." Well, I may not be on the receiving end, but at least I can attempt to be the giver.

[Jobet]

My meal did not include starch because I was going to do a treadmill run and I did not want to have too much in my tummy. Afterwards, I had fatfreevegan's Louisiana Red Beans and Rice. (I just split up my meal)

Oh, I see, Nancy. Not only do I ask newbie questions, I'm pretty ignorant when it comes to running. Thanks for your reply!

I live alone, and have come to realize from many folks I've read, what a struggle it is with family members who aren't supportive. Keep up the good work.

I cannot outrun a bad diet.

Wow! Love that statement.

[Ruff]

As an ultra runner (well I’ve done one! ) I will totally back up the ‘can’t outrun a bad diet’ statement!

Hubby, this really is a problem, but one you have to work with, not against. The first thing is to try having a coffee, or a cup of tea while he eats the hamburger. I am doing this with my husband and his muffins, or pots of nuts and dates. We stop for morning or afternoon tea, and he always has a little something. I feel deprived and join in! So I am working on just having the cuppa. It’s hard until we are sitting down and then I realise I don’t actually care. But I have to get through 5 minutes of sulking (it’s not fair!) first

Also, apart from the eating out, you cook! So don’t debate or discuss, just dish up the McDougall meal. You can always pop a piece of meat on the side of his, or hand him the cheese to grate over. Eating out....eat before. Tell him you’re happy to go out but you’ll just have the starter or whatever. By the way, I can’t do this, so we don’t generally eat out, but I know other people manage to do this.

We all have obstacles, but yours is harder than most. Other people’s are cakes at work, or kids leftovers, or hunger after sports, or team sports when the rest of the team are scarfing down sports drinks and energy bars etc etc etc. Living with your obstacle is an extra layer of difficulty though. I really admire your courage.

[Ruff]

By the way, I run in a fasted state (just water or a cup of tea before). I read somewhere it encourages fat burning,rather than burning the banana you just ate! I’m not sure if this is true but I’m in the habit now. At first I got hungry but as there is nothing to eat on the beach I soon got used to it!

If I’m going in the hills (more than 2 hours on my feet) I have something that sticks, like my homemade granola (oil and sugar free) or porridge first.

And now I need to get off theses forums and actually GO for a run

[Morris]

Hi Katie,

The jury is still out for me as to eat before or after I run in regards to burning fat. I just know that it is harder on me to sustain energy in my runs if I don't eat a bit before. Plus if I don't eat beforehand, then it sets me up for overeating later on during the day. But, I guess it all boils down to how long of a run I am planning to do.

[Morris]

March 19, 2018

Well, here I go again: Day 1 of the 7-Day Rescue. They say, "It's just for 7 days, you can do it for 7 days." UGH! I am trying not to get frustrated with myself. I gave in to potato chips last night. The good thing is that I did not eat the whole bag. So, that is an improvement.

I am now on Day 19 of the Beck Diet Solution. I am not obsessing about doing each of the exercises this time around because I am so inconsistent in following through with being on a plan. But, instead, I am reading each chapter and making a mental note of what I really ought to be doing and then making a note to myself as to how to achieve that step.

Since I get frustrated with the other people in my life and I tend to shovel whatever is closest to me at the moment into my mouth; I have a feeling that I could do this 7-Day routine if I were alone, all by my lonesome. That is how I started this journey, hubby was away and I was not influenced by what, where, or when he wanted to eat. I just did my thing.

One of the Beck Diet Solution's exercises is to my advantage cards to read daily and I always choose a different one to focus on. Today the first thing I saw as I sat down at my computer was my card that read: I'd rather be healthy. I need to get my priorities in the right order and tell myself that being healthy is so much more important than that feeling/thought that I have to have a potato chip or whatever it is at the moment.