Journal of my journey

[Morris]

June 21, 2018

Well, I did not even weigh myself this morning. I just feel bleh. Yesterday, I went to town to help my parents clean a few things and my mom wanted to go out to lunch. We went to Bonanza, a steakhouse with cold, hot and dessert bars. Usually I just order the salad bar, but hubby wanted me to order a sandwich so he can have the leftovers today. The lunch special added the sandwich for less than a dollar more than just the food bars. The best part: I got a baked potato, I topped it with salsa, cooked vegetables and black olives.

I had salad, veggies, fruit. But then I tried the bread pudding and a cookie. The reason I grabbed the dessert was because of that inner voice that told me to get it otherwise I would crave it all afternoon. I listened to that voice and gave in to it.

I really need to go back to the Beck Diet Solution exercises faithfully because those exercises have helped me so much in the past "strengthen my resistance muscles". I felt sick to my stomach after ward and I am connecting it in my head with the desserts so hopefully, I'll be able to say NO next time that voice in my head tries to tempt me.

I started the Engine 2 7-day rescue book, but have not read very much so far. When I took my granddaughter to the State Park to run the other day, we went to the campground and were picking out a site for us to camp. I am going to camp and choose a sight without electricity so I will have to take a break from my gadgets. That should give me a chance to catch up on my reading.

Hubby suggested I just set up the tent in the backyard. But, that is not the same. I want to get away from it all and just relax and listen to nature. I have some dehydrated food so I'll be good in that regard.

[Morris]

June 21, 2018

I am going camping this weekend. I need to get away. I'd say by myself, but my granddaughter wants to come with me. I am choosing a park that is close to home and only for one night. Thunderstorms are in the forecast and I don't want to be in at tent under trees. So, going with the forecast, one night it is. The park is only a 15 minute drive from home.

I thought about setting the tent up in the yard, but that is not going to relieve the stress that I am feeling at home. Plus, I'd be too tempted to go into the house. Camping in the backyard is not the same.

I weighed myself this morning and my little froggie on my ticker is moving to the right again. When I changed the weight, I saw that since starting this journal, I lost 20 pounds and I am still weighing less than I did in my teenage and early adult years. The other day I put on a pair of jeans that I bought about 7 pounds ago and they slid right down. Changes are happening, even if the scale ain't movin'.

I made a batch of split pea soup yesterday. But hubby wanted to dehydrate for future use. So I only got to eat about 1/2 cup of it. It was so good. I served it with a tomato lettuce sandwich.

Speaking of tomato sandwiches, did I mention in a previous post that I made Forks Over Knives' PLT (Peas Lettuce Tomato Sandwich). That was made with green peas. The jury is out on that one. I am thinking that one was too weird tasting even for me. But, you never know until you try it. Here is the link if anyone reading this wants to check it out:
https://www.forksoverknives.com/recipes/plt-green-pea-lettuce-tomato-sandwich/#gs.uY2n4us

I need to get back on track. Hubby looks like he is gaining weight and since I was struggling myself, I wonder if I am getting too far off plan. We had one of our grandsons here for almost a week and I always adjust what I am eating to make sure that he will eat while he is here.

[Morris]

June 26, 2018

I had a great time camping and had a great time with my granddaughter and just being away in the woods for a bit. I think I had the best night's sleep that I had in a long time. I must have released some stressed, my weight was dropped a bit this morning, back to where it was 10 days ago. Interesting how stress can have an impact on what we weigh.

Going to a different location to camp had an impact on how I felt. Somehow, I don't think camping in the backyard would have had the same effect. I am going to do a 2 nighter next time.

I brought some dehydrated food that I prepared for the meals along with some not so good for you snacks. I know I need to make better choices for the snacks I choose, but have not yet committed to it. I am not sure why I have such a mental block in doing so. Could it be that I am going solo in this way of eating and am not willing to do it totally by myself, giving in to peer pressure? Or, I am emotionally attached to the junk and do not want to let it completely? Or is it that I am not willing to give it up because it is too convenient to just grab something and rip open a package and be able to eat it quickly. -- I don't know, I need to really think about my motives for not wanting to give it up completely.

I made breakfast for dinner last night. Hubby had grandson #2 while I was gone and said that gs had not eaten much. So, I made something I thought he'd eat. Engine 2 7-Day Rescue's Oat Pancakes with apple blueberry topping. That was a hit, we all wanted that last one pancake.

I found the latest Forks Over Knives bookzine. I bought two copies, one for me and one for my youngest daughter. This issue has a lot of "I want to try" recipes in it. There is a taco section. My granddaughter loves tacos - I will make some of these for her and hopefully, she'll get interested in tacos being plant based.

[Morris]

June 27, 2018

Interesting, I am stressed again and my weight is up 2 pounds from yesterday. I think I need to learn to meditate to relieve stress, but in the meantime, I am off for a run.

[Morris]

June 29, 2018

Insomnia night. I am up and typing when I ought to be sleeping. I am having an anxiety episode. So frustrating

I made some split pea soup yesterday. I use one of Chef Aj's recipes as a guide. The spice mix she has is awesome. I made it in the Instant Pot and cooked the potatoes separate on the stove. I started adding a bay leaf when boiling potatoes because I discovered just one will add a lot of flavor. That was one of my best so far, or else it was because I was so hungry that it just seemed to taste better than the previous batches.

I used green split pea. I have some yellow split peas in the cupboard that are now screaming, "Us next!" What to make? Time to pull out Vegan Richa's cookbook.

I wish hubby would get on board with eating whole food plant based; it would make it so much easier for me and not give me an excuse to go off plan. We have some stressful things happening right now and when I get upset I find myself grabbing whatever is available (now it is hubby's stash) and I have to make a huge effort to stop shoveling it in my mouth. If he'd get on board, that stuff wouldn't be in the house. Now, I am blaming him. What a vicious cycle.

He always lectures about the evils of GMO's and he started up with the food demonstrator at Costco when the conversation turned to eating healthy. He seems to think that GMO are the only cause of the health issues. I tried to interrupt the conversation he was starting by saying, "No, it is the processed foods that we need to avoid."

https://www.drmcdougall.com/2013/08/31/gmo-foods-a-potentially-disastrous-distraction/

I always say, "Cast your vote at the checkout." If you want to avoid GMO's, then pay attention to what you are eating and stay away from the processed foods that you know may have them in the ingredient list. Then again, if the ingredient list is longer than your arm, then you are better off not buying it.

He is a bit passive aggressive and now, because I did that, we now have ice cream in our freezer. A couple months ago, I realized the ill effect ice cream had on me when I ran, so I asked him to remind me that I am no longer going to eat ice cream. That has been one of my foods I enjoyed when working out in the garden or yard on a hot day. Plus, in the past I have had a love affair with Dairy Queen's peanut buster parfaits. It was one that that I did not give up. Now, I have to keep my frustration in check so I keep my fingers out of that box. He bought a box from the Schwan driver (company that home delivers frozen foods) that was at the bank when we were there and it is a good thing he read the ingredient list to me- mostly sugar and oil in addition to the dairy. I kept my mouth shut on the fact that that product is most likely made with GMO ingredients.

I am going to be honest and admit that my eating has not been according to plan. But my weight seems to be holding within a couple of pounds. On the positive side of things, I am noticing that my jeans are looser and I even tightened my belt in one notch. So, even with the bloat, something is happening. Back in October, I wanted to see if I could get down to a particular weight by my 60th birthday. If I am going to do it, I'll have to release about 3 pounds in the next 32 days. Not sure if I can do it, because even when I am on plan I eat a lot of the foods that have more calories than say, greens.

Time for me to check out my cookbooks and see what I can make with those yellow split peas.

[Morris]

June 30, 2018

Some stress relieved and 3 pounds went with it. WOW! I think I have learned that stress can really affect one's weight big time. I also slept well, right through the storm we had last night. Branches are down and so I need to go out and clean up the yard. Worse than that is the winds blew over all our corn we had planted. I am hoping I can upright it and perhaps we won't lose the crop. We planted three varieties this year. And it was growing so well.

As i was preparing that yellow split pea dish, I gathered all the ingredients, only to discover it was chana dal (split chickpeas). So I had to adjust some of the ingredients, meaning I made it a curried dish. Yellow split pea vs split chickpea, they look similar, but they are not really the same - at least I don't think they are. So I made a curried split chickpea sweet potato dish.

Our youngest grandson is visiting us again. He is here so often that am beginning to think I am raising him. Grandpa has a strong bond with him and really enjoys the time they have together. They both have the same personality traits, hyperactive. (This is why I think our daughter leaves him with us so much as he can be a bit much to handle.) But we keep him busy and his behavior is the the typical boy behavior with the need to burn off excess energy. The good thing is that he eats better here.

Usually when the grandsons come to visit overnights one thing I notice is that those poor boys are usually constipated (both of our daughters eat processed foods). It is so sad seeing this because it is something that can be easily avoided. Everyone seems so concerned about getting enough protein, from this experience, the concern ought to be fiber. Are you getting enough fiber in the foods you eat?

Race Day tomorrow morning. I am not sure how my granddaughter will do. She is having issues with the heat. But it is an early start, so we should be finished before the heat gets too bad.

I am thinking that I am going to go camping again on Sunday. Unless my granddaughter comes along, I'll be camping solo. Translate that into peace and quiet and me not having to tend to anyone else's needs. Hubby wants me to choose the park that is close to home in case he has issues and I need to come home. He totally stressed last week when I was camping because he was alone with the GS#2. The stress caused him to have a bit more muscle spasms than normal. But as soon as he thought that if he couldn't handle a situation, he could call and I'd be home shortly he relaxed and things became manageable for him. Stress does some bad things to our bodies.

No idea what's on the menu for this weekend. I am out of celery, carrots and potatoes. These are what is the base of almost everything I make. Either I go shopping, or I'll need a bit of creativity.

[Morris]

July 1, 2018

I am one month shy of the big 60. It is weird thinking I am this old. My mom commented a while back on how strange it is to think of her children being seniors. These past couple of years age has hit my parents hard. It is like all of a sudden they are old. It reminds me of a play I saw once where it was about someone remembering their past life and a line stated how we always seem to remember some on at a particular age. That is how it was with my parents, I always thought of them as being young. But their bodies do not reflect that image any more.

And now this morning, as I am enjoying my coffee, I am passing time before my granddaughter comes down and we are off to a 5k. I have no idea what I am going to aim for my time across the line. I think I'll be realistic and go for a 34 minute.

It has been my plan to go camping again today. But hubby is having back issues. I am trying to not get frustrated because sometimes I think he exaggerates his pain level to get attention. However, when I gave him a massage yesterday, I could feel the heat; so I know that he has some inflammation going on. I know he is hurting because I can see it in his face. I'll see what happens after the race. It is suppose to rain today and I may wimp out, but the thought of getting away in the woods all by myself is just too appealing.

Due to hubby's back, we never did go shopping yesterday. So I had to make something without carrot and celery. I made thevegan8.com Alfredo Sauce.

http://thevegan8.com/2013/12/28/vegan-garlic-alfredo-sauce/

OMG! was that good. This recipe is a hit in this household. My grandson had seconds and then requested it again for dinner. It had quite a bit of cashews in it so I do not know if it is compliant with this plan. This is the best recipe that I made for Alfredo Sauce so far.

[Morris]

July 4, 2018

Whew! I thought my journal disappeared. I am glad to have found it and they are just reorganizing the board.

I went camping, all by myself. It was just me and the mosquitos. I tried out a new tent, which kept me dry during the thunderstorm. We bought a gas stove so I brought dehydrated food and some fruit. I'd say I was compliant, but you know me and junk food - Cracker Jacks, Snickers and Mounds. But, even with that, I managed to drop a bit of weight. Must be because of the 8 mile hike on the trails.

The good news is that even though I had bags of the snack sized bars, I did not eat them in one sitting. I had self-control in that regard at the campsite. I think it helped that I only ate them before my meal and I'd tell myself I had to eat something good for me. That really helped me limit the amount I ate in a sitting and after the meal, I did not even want another candy bar after my meal.

So, what I ate while camping:
Coffee
Oats with dried fruit and chia seed
banana
apple
orange
carrot
Dehydrated hash browns with dehydrated onion, garlic and kale, plus shredded carrot
Dehydrated veggie soup (onion, carrot, celery, potatoes, corn, and peas)
s'mores - had to have some while camping.
candy bars
Cracker Jacks

It was so relaxing. The first morning I woke up, boiled some water and made coffee in a coffee press. I sat there and drank my coffee listening to the birds and watching some red squirrels scampering around campsite. The second morning was not as relaxing because it stormed during the night and the rain continued and continued and continued. I had to pack up everything wet and dry it out at home. Even with the rain, I still stayed there and enjoyed nature. There was only about a half dozen other campers there, so it was like having the park all to myself.

Well, I am starting the Amerithon challenge today: 3,521 miles across America. I am going to count only intentional miles of running walking and biking. Since I am adding biking, I am hoping to finish in a year. Cheer me on...

[Morris]

July 5, 2018

We went for a drive last night just to get away. Hubby suggested an area which had two State Parks in it that I want to camp next. We only had time to visit one since we left rather late in the day. The one we visited was on a lake and I viewed the prettiest sunset. Lately the sunset have been bleh. I was so bummed I didn't grab my camera when we left. And then to listen to the waves hit the shore. Peaceful. I declared that I'd be spending three nights there. Not sure when, but I want it to happen before the month is over. I'll see what happens later on in the month.

We stopped at a gas station which had a Taco John's attached to it. He went to the taco shop and I went to the gas station looking for something, anything. I was thirsty and craving salt. Plus we had over an hour drive home. I ended up buy a chic-o-stick (peanuts and coconut with lots of saturated fat) and an orange juice. I was walking around the aisles of the store for what seemed like forever, having that dialogue in my head. I really need to learn to shut hose voices up that are telling me I just gotta have _____ (fill in the blank). I put my items on the checkout and commented on how hard it was to find something I liked because I really don't like a lot of things anymore. He brought up the obesity crisis and the lack of good food to buy and how it soda was way cheaper than the orange juice I just purchased.

Now, this was a small town and I as we were driving through the surrounding communities, I noticed there were no grocery stores. Food Desert -- it seems to be real.

Hubby showed me an article (ad) by that Dr. Gundry. He came across it and called me in to check it out. The ad stated to eliminate this one ingredient and you will lose weight and become healthy. The fact that he even called me to view it suggests to me that he really wants to lose weight.

I wish he'd just get on board and we could both be supportive of each other. I am having wishful thinking here because it'd be so much easier for me to have someone remind me that the candy bar or bag of chips I am putting on the checkout counter is not "on the plan". That is our problem, we are both junk food junkies. The other day, as he was throwing in the cookies and chips in the shopping cart, I reminded him of saying that one reason he cannot lose weight is because I buy too much junk food, but it is not me throwing those items in the cart. Hmmmmmm, imagine that.

I am starting my day with:
coffee
oatmeal with dried fruit and seeds
apple
Lettuce (fresh picked from the garden)

[keithswife]

Morris, I wish my hubby would get on board, too. He suffers so much from GERD and other health problems due to his weight and what he eats. I also joke, "when you're ready to come over to the Dark Side, let me know. I can fix you", but he quickly shuts down any thought of change. It's both sad and frustrating at the same time.

[bunsofaluminum]

Yeah, having a man in the house who buys junk food...Wylie brought home Cinnabon one day, and I didn't have any. When I first asked him to sort of be my "look out" as in "look out, that's fattening!" when I started in on something junky, he said it wasn't his responsibility, Just Don't Eat It, right? So he brings home these Cinnabons and I ignore them and THEN a day or so later he says "you know, you can have one of those"



and I didn't, but I also reminded him of HIS advice, and told him he was doing exactly the OPPOSITE of what I asked him to do. Well sure, you're not responsible for what I put in my mouth but REALLY? Bring it home and INVITE ME to have one? Twerp. meanwhile, he takes a handful of pills every day, some in the morning, some at night. And I take ibuprofen as needed for pain. now THAT'S the way to live!

[Morris]

I believe that having immediate support while having this lifestyle is a key to success because the constant resisting and having to be on guard all the time is mentally draining. But one reason I have not given up on this WOE is the food tastes so much better than the overly processed crap that they formulate to "taste good" - HA! did they ever miss the mark on that one. So, thanks for your comments, I really appreciate your support.

July 6, 2018

Insomnia night, my dog was attacked on our walk yesterday. That attacking dog is allowed to run free and I think it has become a bit too wild now. I was unable to defend my dog. I screamed and fortunately, my son-in-law happened to have been in the woods logging and he had three others with him. It took all 5 of us to get that dog off of my baby. And the blankety blank owner said he is NOT going to contain his dog.

Vet called and said she is doing okay this morning and recovering well, but it is still touch and go and we have to take it day by day. She'll be on an IV antibiotic all day and we should be able to bring her home today depending on how she does.

This just goes to show that we never know what will happen and should make the most of each and every day. My quote calendar has a saying for July 2:

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Need to stay positive and release the stress in a nonfood way.

Yesterday, when I looked up some information on that Dr Gundry, I found an article that led me to the Hallelujah Diet and I found this recipe for Booster soup:
http://www.myhdiet.com/Fall-In-Love-With-Food-Again/recipe_items/booster-soup/

it's a Keeper - I McDougallized it and added 2 large russet potatoes.

[bunsofaluminum]

I believe that having immediate support while having this lifestyle is a key to success because the constant resisting and having to be on guard all the time is mentally draining. But one reason I have not given up on this WOE is the food tastes so much better than the overly processed crap that they formulate to "taste good" - HA! did they ever miss the mark on that one. So, thanks for your comments, I really appreciate your support.

How right you are. Sometimes it's possible to SMELL the unhealthy fake ingredients when someone heats up a plate of SAD.

[VegSeekingFit]

Hi Morris, Sorry about your dog. That sounds like a harrowing experience... Hope that all turns out ok.

[Morris]

July 7, 2018

Our dog is home. Her surgery took about 2 hours, but since I brought her in so quick, the vet is hoping for minimal complications. We were told to expect 1 or 2 more surgeries to clean up dying tissue. Our baby is happy to be home. So much damage all because of an irresponsible dog owner.

But on to other things now. Before we picked up our baby we went for a drive and found an Audubon Center, (a facility that broke away from the Audubon Society) What a cool place. Unfortunately, we did not have time to look around. This is going to be a place where I am going to go back and have a look around. There are about 7 miles of trails plus raptors to view. The center serves mostly school groups, but as we were being given a quick tour of the facilities, I noticed Vegan Sloppy Jo's on the menu in the dining room.

Yesterday, I ate some of the leftover soup, it was just as good the second day as it was the first. Hubby did not eat before we left, so I knew he was planning on eating while we were out. However, if I try to ask him to join me on this way of eating, he'll tell me grains cause him to gain weight.

Ironically, at the gas station, he is standing holding an individual pepperoni pizza, lecturing someone on the benefits of a whole food diet. And, of course he had to mention the evils of GMO's. Seriously? I really think that the evil of the refined, overly processed, and additive ingredients present a more clear and present danger than GMO's.

But, I don't want to get into that, it is too frustrating. He knows but won't do. In the past he said it my fault he does not eat well because I don't prepare all of his meals. Excuses, excuses, just like me blaming him for my frustration and me shoving junk food in my mouth. I am responsible for my choices and accountable to me, myself and I. I really need to get serious and make the commitment to commit to get the junk out of my way of eating. Because, really, an apple tastes so much better than those greasy salty corn chips. A carrot can be more satisfying than a candy bar. Real food tastes so much better than fake food.

On the menu today, veggie spaghetti sauce