by heavenstomurgie » Thu Jan 19, 2012 1:50 pm
**First Post-- Very Long-- much longer than planned**
I have come to the conclusion that I need something to hold myself accountable.. accountable to myself and to the process. I have lurked on the boards off and on, gathered the courage for a couple of tentative posts, and finally decided that starting a journal of my progress is an important step if I want to be successful.
To share a little about myself and my background, I am 42 years old, have been widowed for 10 years now, and after the death of my husband (In an accident, not health related issues) I gained 100 pounds. My highest weight was 305 pounds and I currently weigh 285. My weight has always yo-yo'd and with each successful attempt at weight loss I would go back to old habits and gain more than I had initially lost. I have tried it all.. yes, even McDougall in the late 1990's (Back when his discussion board was on Vegsource.. goes to show how long it has been, huh?) Last May, at my heaviest, I went to a bariatrician and started his weight loss program. His program felt much like a cattle moving process.. After the first visit when I had blood work taken and had a diet orientation class, the rest of the visits followed the same form: check-in, get weighed, check BP, the doctor would ask how things are going, be told to keep up the work and pick up my medications on the way out the door as I paid. Everyone who visited this doctor would be put on a combination of metformin, a thyroid medication (mine was on the low side of normal, so I got a small dose), hydrochlorothiazide, phentermine, potassium and chromium. The diet consisted of a carb restrictive way of eating (essentially we were given a formula to determine how a food would convert to sugar and needed to keep the amount of sugar entering into the blood stream at a minimum) so I ate a lot of low-fat animal products and veggies with a very small amount of whole grains. I went from 305 to 280 between May and November of 2011. However, I felt so sick all the time. I was constantly nauseus, my hair is falling out, my face kept breaking out, and I lacked energy. Feeling like this wasn't working, I decided to stop seeing this doctor in November. I felt like spending so much money each month to feel horrible was insane. So, I gave myself "permission" to enjoy myself over the holidays and get back on track in the New Year. I gained 10 pounds over the holidays and hit 290 again. Over the years, I have been receiving the McDougall newsletter in my email, and have glanced at this message board and the website a few times, but never really considered actively doing the McDougall program again. After the first of the year, I received the most recent newsletter and decided that I would give McDougall a try again and see how I did with it. However, I have to confess, I was giving it a half-a$$ed attempt. Afterall, I had all of that expensive, lean meat in my freezer and I hated the thought of wasting it. My DS#3 wasn't sure about the changes happening in the house after I cleaned out all the cake mixes, junk food, and holiday goodies from the fridge and pantry. So, I thought I would kind of "ease into McDougalling" and make it a gradual adjustment for us. However, last night when I got my mail, I was hit with a wake-up call and found my bottom line. Last week, out of curiousity I went to a private lab and requested a lipid panel. I got those results in the mail. My lipids are as follows:
HDL- 27
Triglycerides- 481
Cholesterol- 186
LDL- "Lab unable to quantify due to elevated triglycerides"
I am not sure if it was my indulgences over the holidays, or if it was the diet the bariatrician put me on (it was probably both!) but my numbers are worse than they were in May the last time they were checked. In May my Triglycerides were in the 300's, HDL was in the 30's, Cholesterol was 170's, and LDL was in the 140's. Now I wish I had paid the extra money for an A1C and C-reactive lab as well. It would have been a better baseline. Anyway.. as I sat there and contemplated my numbers, I looked over at the chicken that was waiting to be cooked for dinner. My first thought, was why not have "One Last Supper". Then I thought, but what if it was truly my last supper? So I picked up the chicken, dumped it in the trash, and baked a couple of potatoes and had salads for dinner. I told myself that I could justify poor eating until there was no tomorrow, or I could give things a 100% effort and see what happens. Bottom line is, obviously what I was doing before wasn't working.
Another reason why I need to gain control over myself, my habits, and my weight is because I am currently a Grad student enrolled in a dual major program. I am working on my Master's in Addictions and will then continue on to earn my Master's in Counseling. I know that unless I master myself, I cannot have the credibility I will need to counsel with my future clients. Knowing what I know from my education thus far, it is important to establish accountability for myself. So, here I am on my true "Day 1", and ready to tackle this head on.
Today's menu plan-
Breakfast- 7 grain cereal w/ sliced banana
Lunch- WW, oil-free pita w/hummus and veggies
Dinner- Baked potato w/beans, salsa and salad
I will check back in tomorrow.
~Murgie