Getting Real & Getting It Done!!

[Pacificfords]

Thanks to all of you for the positive posts!

It was a fantastic day until my new scale arrived. Clearly my other scale was not accurate. But I am not getting discouraged. I just have to keep on track and keep moving forward. The holidays are the hardest. I know I didn't gain 20 pounds in two weeks... but I could see a few pounds coming on with the additions to my diet lately and it is likely that my scale was about 10 pounds off. No meat... no dairy... but a little bit of gluten free / vegan baking. I'm not jumping off the wagon and going insane like I used too when I felt like I was failing to comply 100% on MWL. I feel really good about that. I know once we get past the holidays I am going to tighten up the reins considerably, but for now I am just going to float between the MWL and the regular plan so I don't lose my mind or go totally off track in December.

[nomikins]

My new scale weighs me in higher than the old one. Just set a new start point and go from there; don't be a slave to the number. Keep on keeping on with healthy whole foods and the rest will take care of itself.

[kittyadventures]

PacificFords... This is all great news. I have been following yoru astory because it really encourages me to be as clost to on track as possible.. and to finally say no to gluten even when it is in a cookie or a piece of cake and I want to eat it.
you are doing great.


i suspect that the longer you are gluten free and stick to a starch based whole foods diet the better your body will respond.
I am hoping you see even better numbers next time you go in.

And Congrats on sticking to your guns even in the face of family and friends trying to sabotage your eating plan.

[Pacificfords]

I am moving toward the end of the year with the satisfaction of knowing that FINALLY some real and positive changes have happened in my life. The yo-yo dieting is gone. I will be starting a new journal in January for the new year... just to motivate me. I am not perfect yet, but I am no longer tempted with meat and dairy... or to go on and off a plant based diet. I still have to work through some compliance issues with myself, mostly having to do with small amounts of oil (never butter now). It feels empowering. I am not really tempted with sugar either. My temptations are definitely with fat and salt now and they are no longer daily temptations, just occasional and mostly because of the holiday season.

I am learning to look away and ignore other people's eating habits, including my own family. I am seeking out those that enjoy a lifestyle with a plant based diet at the forefront. It helps to surround yourself with like-minded people. You really do become like those you spend your time with.

[Pacificfords]

This journal was all about "getting real." That has certainly happened within me... I don't post it all on the board, for fear I would be venting my life away. I tend to try and remain positive in any situation, but these past few days have certainly been anything but positive for me.

I have come to realize so many things about myself and the people around me. It is difficult to admit... even more difficult to live though.

Food is obviously comfort to me, but I am realizing how much more it is than that... it is a connection between all those that are in my life. It connects right back to me. I have lived 44 years as an obese person. (okay... maybe I wasn't obese in childhood, but I am pretty sure I was on the high end of the scale) In those years, I have defined my life by the people I associate with... making sure they are people that "accept" me as I am. In doing that, I find that I have many obese friends. Actually, mostly obese friends. I fit right in. We all accept each other, empower each other to eat unhealthy and have fun making food a priority together. This is even true in my marriage. Our dating life was about food... going out to eat constantly, our favorite restaurant once a week, celebrations... our dating life was never about exercising together or hobbies or anything like that. Food connected us because my husband was in culinary school at the time studying to be a chef.

So... now I am trying to go against the grain of what everyone in my life expects of me. I have been a yo-yo dieter for years so they all think it is just a phase and they sometimes humor me when I talk of change, but mostly they just try to talk me out of it. I am seeing so many patterns, but what sticks out to me this time is that I have never noticed people trying to sabotage me before. I guess it was because I wanted to go back, so I took their gestures as a 'rescue' of sorts. I never wanted to eat healthy or diet or change my lifestyle. Until now. They are looking for ways to 'rescue' me... I am fighting against the grain. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. I want to give up. I want to say "screw it, so what if I die a few years early" and just make life happy again for me and those around me. That sounds horrible, but it is partially how I am feeling. Then there is this strength in me that is fighting to take over... to win... to succeed... to find thin... to be healthy... to get away from all of the negative addictions to food.

This reminds me of a Cherokee Parable that really sums it up. I had only thought of it as an emotional struggle, never literally!

An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life...

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.

"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?"

The old chief simply replied,
"The one you feed."