Dissolution's Solution

Share your daily McDougall menus and/or keep a journal describing your personal progress.

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Re: Dissolution's Solution

Postby Adrienne » Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:13 pm

Sorry to hear the situation with your wife is getting worse. I'm sure you realize her issues go beyond your food choices. There was nothing wrong with seeing FOK with your DIL and, as usual, the only person who was behaving inappropriately was her. Perhaps moving in with your son will give you and your wife some time to reflect.

Despite all the stress at home you seem determined to stick to your new diet and that is admirable.
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Re: Dissolution's Solution

Postby ♥ Amy ♥ » Wed Mar 14, 2012 1:30 pm

Hey Dis & Fan Club :)

Just wanted to say how much I love this journal & journey you are on. I don't love how things are going with your wife - but I'm an optimist at heart so I'm really hoping it will all work out for you in the end.

I couldn't agree more about so many things - not the least of which is that your success with the McD program seems like textbook success to me and who doesn't love reading/hearing about that!?

I haven't seen Forks over Knives yet, but I've seen some of the others like 'Fat Sick Nearly Dead' etc. I am hoping Netflix has that - my husband would maybe even watch some of it with me.

Reading about your wife makes me painfully think about my sister. My sister is 4 years younger than me, weighs more and lives on junk food. She feels she's meant to be this size and she just has to deal with it. She also doesn't have a gallbladder, so greasy food and her don't get along, but she often says its the only thing she likes on the menu.

Fave quote of your journal: "No, I won't stop feeding the dog cabbage"! LOVED IT!
*Restart 12.28.13*
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Re: Dissolution's Solution

Postby Vola » Wed Mar 14, 2012 2:45 pm

Yikes, the party just never stops at your house, does it? I agree with Toadfood (and love nicoles's abbreviation): BBC, at least where this way of eating is concerned.

While her behavior does sound like Borderline Personality Disorder, you two have been together for a long time, so you'd think you would have seen signs of these problems long before now. Have these kinds of control issues come up in the past? (Certainly not something that needs to be answered publicly, just something to think about.) If food has always been her domain, and she no longer has that control over you, I could see how it would open the door to a cascade of self-created gripes and problems. Unfortunately, it sounds like without professional help she will be unable to stop blaming you (or your diet) long enough to realize the problems stem from her own insecurities and control issues.

Good luck, Dis. It's pretty obvious that we're all here rooting for you and want you to be healthy AND happy.
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Re: Dissolution's Solution

Postby Dissolution » Wed Mar 14, 2012 7:11 pm

Debbie Thanks for the heads up, I'll keep an eye for that kind of strategy on her part. I think she is more likely to try and sink us into debt so that we can't afford to separate. I'll be splitting the finances soon, if she doesn't stabilize.

I've tried to tell her I don't care what she eats. She still perceives that I am constantly pressuring her. Sounds like a guilty conscience to me.

carollynne Thanks for the Star McDougaller encouragement. Most of the kids are trying to stay neutral ATM. #2 is doing E2, so he's already come to the Dark Side. I'll be using my Super Vegan Force Powers tomorrow night in an attempt to corrupt DIL. If I could just get one more child on board, the victory would be mine! :D

I'm not fond of the idea of going to counselling without her.

toadfood Some people seem to wake up everyday waiting for someone to offend them. I am definitely NOT one of those people.

She says she id proud of me, and doesn't want me to change my diet, but she hates my diet at the same time and thinks it's wrong. Beats the heck out of me....Bitch be crazy!

nicoles One of the things she said she is upset about, is I didn't change my diet after my first two heart attacks. When she wanted me to. Of course she refused to buy anything other than real butter, I would buy the "healthy" margarine and she would throw it away. Also we always used half'n'half and whole milk, and regular cheese. At the time it just seemed silly to me to NOT eat fast food, since it was about the same nutritionally as her healthy choices.

I dunno, that fact that I changed for me, and not for her?

BBC? haha, that's awesome!

VegSexy It's just food, I haven't even gone all ethical vegan on her yet..lol I'm dealing with her one day at a time.

Adrienne She told me Yesterday that at this point is was a matter of pride, and she would NEVER change her diet now.

I know we didn't have a prefect marriage before I started this way of eating. She also seems to be offended that I didn't come to her and discuss it with her. I told her I was desperate and felt this was my only hope, and that I knew she would oppose it, and I didn't want her to talk me out of it.

♥ Amy ♥ Welcome and thanks! I watched "Forks Over Knives" first, and it is available on Netflix. I started watching "Fat Sick and Nearly Dead" but never finished. "Food Inc." Is also pretty good, but not vegan.

The little dog likes mango too!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Went to the gym today, surprisingly I didn't feel as good as I thought I would. Matter of fact getting out of the showers I felt pretty bad. Got out to the car, and wasn't feeling any better. Decided to check my blood pressure, it was 84/53 with a pulse of 100. Grabbed some lunch and drank lots of fluids, started feeling better.

Checked again on the way home, 106/67 Pulse 83. Think maybe it's time to try going off the BP medicine again.
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Re: Dissolution's Solution

Postby sharonbikes » Wed Mar 14, 2012 7:24 pm

I think you should think about seeing a lawyer who does family law -- just so you know the law and what will and won't work to protect yourself regardless of what happens with the marriage. You mention that you may be separating your finances -- depending on the law in your state, that may or may not be a successful strategy. And, just doing an initial consult with a lawyer doesn't mean that you are declaring the marriage over, it is just adding knowledge so you have the information you need to help you make decisions. There is a book I used to refer my divorce clients to that most of them found helpful -- The Case Against Divorce by Dianne Medved.

Wishing you all the best...

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Re: Dissolution's Solution

Postby Debbie » Wed Mar 14, 2012 7:35 pm

Dissolution wrote:Debbie Thanks for the heads up, I'll keep an eye for that kind of strategy on her part. I think she is more likely to try and sink us into debt so that we can't afford to separate. I'll be splitting the finances soon, if she doesn't stabilize.


I think that was my ex's ex wifes strategy too. She paid monthly mortgage payments on various credit cards for a year or two along with other bills, forcing them to file bankruptcy. Lost everything but the house. She pocketed the money that was supposed to be used for the mortgage and stuff, put it in her own bank account. All this before I ever came on the scene however. This all rendered him with broke, so he was unable to leave her. She had the power because she had the money.

Scary on the BP. Do you check it often? What do your doctors say about your transformation? I'd be curious. LOL
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Re: Dissolution's Solution

Postby Adrienne » Wed Mar 14, 2012 8:47 pm

yeah the diastolic BP sounds too low. It is not supposed to go under 84 or 80 with meds otherwise your risk of stroke and heart attack begins to increase. You should read Dr McD's articles on BP if you have not done so already. You don't want to pass out either especially if you are gonna start mountain biking soon!!!
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Re: Dissolution's Solution

Postby carollynne » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:39 am

Dis, well, I must admit I just had to open up the computer this morning to see what had happened in your life next... I think we are all (here) pulling for you to save your health, your marriage, and want it all to be good for you. :-)
Now when I read what you said about her pride :evil: is not letting her ever join your diet, I must admit that I right away, whenever I hear that work, or phrase, my pride, I think of the line in the good book, that says pride comes before a fall. So look out! So sad, and I know that she must look so ridiculous to her friends and her own children, when they can compare the way you look now, and how she looks! But all narcissist will have their NS (narcissist supply peeps too)
So glad that you are going to that FOK viewing with a family member too. My sons and I used to sit on the sofa and watch every single doc. on netflix we could find on this subject. I have my own copy of FOK and have seen in at least 4 times. DH will not see it ever. But lately he is trying to eat more like our oldest son and I are doing. He had given up trying to convert me back with numerous gifts of candy, and invitations to go out to eat, when all I will order is a salad bar and baked potato. I have turned into a ethical vegan now, and so my mind turns to that phrase "golden retriever meat balls" that I heard on one of those youtube videos( oh it was the psych of carnism, from the last ASW and it just about turns my tummy, and here I have a yorkie in the house too.
Lastly, it is so cool 8) that your blood pressure is now down so far, that you have to get off your pills. wow! That is the last hurdle I am waiting for now. So wonderful, keep at this WOE, the rewards are so plentiful, and wifey is pride blind, but on well, she has made her choice. Even if you have to start over, so to speak, you will have your health and you are truly young enough to do that. Check on your finances, but depending on your state, you might owe her half anyway. just be sure she is not stealing you blind along with her blind pride.
Have a good day now if you can, and so glad you are getting to the gym regardless. I love my gym time. :-D :)
I have lost about 60 lbs and never thought I'd be in the 150s ever again. cured my NAFLD!! Feel great!! Wt loss is so good for the knees and back, ankle, that I know I will never start back to the SAD way of eating again.
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Re: Dissolution's Solution

Postby VegSexy » Thu Mar 15, 2012 6:42 am

Wow. I thought my BP was low (97 / 60)! I hope you'll talk to your doctor about it all of this before you take yourself off your meds. I guess that's good problem to have!

I'm going to second Sharonbikes advice. Do seek out some legal counciling. It's the best thing you can do to protect your home, savings and retirement. Each state is different. Careful if you do stay with your son. Be sure say your are "visiting" instead of "moving out".

Your dog likes mangos? When my BF and I travelled to St. Kitts and Nevis last year - we spotted a group of monkeys nomming mangos. They like to eat them unripe. I'll have to find that picture I took of them. (BTW - Nevis is beautiful)

Keep on keeping on Dis!
~VegSexy

A guy has celery sticking out of one ear, lettuce out of the other, and a zucchini up his nose.
He goes to the doctor and asks him what's wrong.
The doctor tells him, "Well, for one thing, you're not eating right."
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Re: Dissolution's Solution

Postby Dissolution » Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:12 am

sharonbikes Thanks, sound advice to go see a lawyer. Also, that book looks excellent, thanks for the recommendation.

Debbie I can see where all the money goes, so I'm not worried about her pulling your ex's ex's strategy.

Normally my BP is pretty stable. I tend to only check it when I go to the grocery store or Wal-Mart. Which is I guess still a couple of times a week. I had the BP/Heart rate problem early on, but pretty much figured out that was caused by dehydration, due to my thirst being so much lower once my blood sugar was under control.

Haven't been to the doctor since November, I've lost over 40 pounds since then.

Adrienne Guess I will be making another appointment, to talk to the doc about the BP meds.

carollynne My #2 son has not been strictly following his E2 diet, of course as a result, his weight-loss has stalled. He was very happy to re-watch FoK last night, said it made a good reminder for him to get back with the program. BTW he's been cheating with french fried and cookies. Still pretty much staying away from meat.

The wife and I argued some more last night. THIS time however, she tried to look some stuff up in the Internet to prove her points and disprove mine. She failed of course, but it's not something I've seen her do before.

VegSexy I need to do some research on BP and exercise, but just haven't had the time. Probably best just to go see the doctor.

The Yorkie-Poo is funny, she never really begged for food when I ate SAD, but she seems VERY curious about what I am eating now-a-days. She'll eat cabbage and broccoli, beans and rice of course, mangoes and apples, but she doesn't like bananas...go figure...

----------------------------------------------------------------------
#1Son had planned on attending the FoK movie with his wife (that would be DIL), but they got into a fight that morning so he didn't come. #2 son showed up.

We walked in, and they offered us BUTTERED POPCORN!! We found our seats on a couch up front and started watching the crowd as they filtered in. Most weren't too over-weight. Many were thin. But then my Super Vegan Powers™ started tingling. Two of the people looked vegan to me. By that I mean, thin, healthy looking and I guess radiant. Oh well, I had no way of knowing.

Some barefoot hippie doctor guy got up and introduced himself and the "health coach" that were sponsoring this screening. Said there would be a Q&A afterwards and chips and humus.

They showed the film and everybody seemed to enjoy it. The they started the Q&A....sigh...

First question asked by a fat nutripath: What can we do to make school lunches healthier.

The was much discussion and talk about local growers, and a local school principal was even there. Finally I chimed in with, "Make no mistake, the way of eating this film is promoting is a low fat vegan diet. You can't even get low fat vegan meals in restaurants around here without special ordering. If you take meat away from the kids, their parents are going to come bust down the doors of the school. So switching the food in the school lunch program is a noble goal, but a long distance one. For now, there just needs to be more people adopting this way of eating."

Then they just proceeded to talk about how to get people to eat MORE vegetables, not ONLY vegetables. Then social justice came up, and they want to give vegetables to the poor people.

One lady even asked how to transition to this diet and the presenter told her that the people in the movie were extreme cases and that most people didn't need to be that extreme.

I asked #2 son if it would embarrass him if I looked at the nutrition labels on the after film food they were serving. He didn't think that would be a good idea...lol

Anyways, the two people I mentioned that set off my Super Vegan Powers™, yup they were the only vegans in the crowd. Neither one of the presenters were even vegetarian. They liked to promote whole foods, not just whole plant foods. If I had been alone, I probably would have challenged them to a nutrition duel or something.

I have a personal trainer appointment this morning. They called the house yesterday to confirm, when the wife was home alone. Thank god the trainer's name is Anthony and not Amanda or something.

Oh yeah...221 this morning...
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Re: Dissolution's Solution

Postby toadfood » Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:24 am

Look at you go! What exciting news about the BP! My fasting blood sugar this morning was 80 and I was thinking maybe it's time to talk to the doctor about my diabetes meds.

Have you tried offering the Yorkie-Poo raw carrots? My dog used to love them. She liked cantaloupe, too. I have read that it's good to feed (cooked) green beans to dogs -- helps keep their weight down. Now I have a cat who loves lettuce, but he's weird.

How depressing about the FOK showing. Reminds me of an EarthSave event I once went to -- the speaker was talking about factory farming, specifically about efforts to get more space for the chickens on egg operations. Someone objected that this would raise the price of eggs! I said I thought that would be a good thing, since maybe people would eat fewer eggs if they cost more. Everyone jumped on me. And this was supposed to be a vegan event!
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Re: Dissolution's Solution

Postby scooterpie » Fri Mar 16, 2012 8:57 am

Crudely, exercise works as a vasodilator:-)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasodilation
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Re: Dissolution's Solution

Postby Yomom » Fri Mar 16, 2012 9:07 am

"The Yorkie-Poo is funny, she never really begged for food when I ate SAD, but she seems VERY curious about what I am eating now-a-days. She'll eat cabbage and broccoli, beans and rice of course, mangoes and apples, but she doesn't like bananas...go figure."


This morning our vet recommended that we feed sweet potato to our Cavalier King Charles Spaniels a few times per week, as an easy way to add fiber to their diet. Tried it - they jump really high in excitement, and love it!

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Re: Dissolution's Solution

Postby AlwaysAgnes » Fri Mar 16, 2012 11:10 am

Dissolution wrote:One lady even asked how to transition to this diet and the presenter told her that the people in the movie were extreme cases and that most people didn't need to be that extreme.



Speaking of transitioning, I came across this Dr. Greger "Transitioning Towards a Plant Based Diet" video yesterday. You might like to add it to your arsenal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYlTElxe ... re=related

It's 2 hours long. The section on processed vegan meat/dairy substitutes will probably bother some McDougallers and whole food activists, but that's okay. If ya ain't bothered by somethin', ya ain't livin'. :lol: :wink:

When you stop to think about it, SAD itself is pretty extreme. Extreme meat. Extreme dairy. Extreme fats. Extreme sugars. Extreme additives. Extreme farming methods. Extreme violence. Extreme ignorance. Extreme stupidity. SAD is an extreme foods nightmare, but when you're in the middle of living it, you don't even know you're asleep. It's such a part of you, it doesn't feel extreme. Things can only be called "extreme" if we have something "not extreme" to compare them to. Here we venture into the land of subjectivity. Is eating dung beetles and tarantulas extreme? Depends on where ya live. Is eating broccoli extreme? Let's ask your wife. :unibrow:

I made an extreme dinner last night: dal made with split pigeon peas, white basmati rice, roasted asparagus, and roasted cubes of banana squash. Twenty years ago, most of these foods weren't even on my radar. (Asparagus was on my radar, but the mode was "seek and destroy" because I didn't like asparagus.) So, how was my dinner received? Husband ate everything and had seconds. Neither of my girls would eat the dal. My oldest ate her rice and asparagus, then (under duress) she tasted a squash cube and made a face, saying it tasted weird. My youngest daughter only ate the basmati rice for dinner. She's not as malleable as the eldest. ::shrug:: I knew what would happen with this meal, but I figure one day the girls will surprise me.

Have a great day!
You don't have to wait to be happy.
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Re: Dissolution's Solution

Postby VegSexy » Fri Mar 16, 2012 11:17 am

Do you think Yorkie-Poo is really an oppressed McDougaller and finally has the chance to come out? Doggie digs veggies, love it!

I love the fact you were offered buttered popcorn at the FOK event. Was any of it organic?

Good luck with the PT. I joined a group about 4 years ago to participate in a "sprint" (a mini-triathlon). We had a couple of trainers work with us. It really made a difference having a coach.
~VegSexy

A guy has celery sticking out of one ear, lettuce out of the other, and a zucchini up his nose.
He goes to the doctor and asks him what's wrong.
The doctor tells him, "Well, for one thing, you're not eating right."
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