I’ve had some interesting insights recently about my McDougall journey. After 8 years of following the program imperfectly (with varying degrees of compliance), I decided three months ago to commit to mostly MWL. And I am still amazed that I am doing it with relatively little struggle. What changed?
Three things have changed: my thoughts, my habits, and my taste buds. I have also finally accepted the fact that I am one of those people who needs to follow MWL in order to lose weight and keep it off. I fought against that reality for a long time.
Before anyone thinks that I am going to come across as a MWL evangelist, don’t worry. I believe in the regular program and its benefits. Many people can maintain a healthy weight on it. My husband is one of those people. He is 5’4” and 126 pounds, has a sedentary job and does a little light exercise when he remembers. He eats bagels, toast, nuts & seeds, dried fruit, tofu, and cold cereals and does not gain weight. But not all of us are like that.
Back when I first joined the McDougall online community, in 2006, there were several McDougallers who were matter-of-fact about their need to stick to MWL in order to get to their goal weight and maintain it. One was the Star McDougaller “SB” (called “Little Stinker” in her Star McDougaller story). Another that I remember well was Malva, who had a note in her signature saying “I do a more restricted Program to maintain my weight & health. I have been ‘McDougalling’ for over 15 years, but switched to MWL to lose 40 pounds to reach goal weight.” I remember how I felt about their stories at the time. I admired them, but they also made me nervous. I was really afraid of the possibility that I might turn out to be one of those “unfortunate” people who MUST follow MWL. I could never do that, certainly not for life! Live without bread? Without pasta, pizza and tortillas? Without “legal” cookies and baked treats? Without tofu? No, no, no – that was too depressing to even think about.
I did initially lose nearly 70 pounds following the regular program in 2003-2004. At first the weight came off fairly easily, but ultimately I had to resort to eating less and less, and exercising more and more, in order to keep losing. It was just dieting by another name. Restricting portions was not something I could do forever, and before long I was eating my usual amount again and putting the pounds back on. Not only that, but eating those richer on-plan foods made it harder to say no to off-plan foods, and I fell into the habit of eating “just a little” of those too, and before I knew it I was not really McDougalling at all (except in my self-deluded mind, where I believed I was McDougalling “90%”).
I tried MWL and Mary’s Mini a couple of times, but I did so in a half-hearted way and usually gave up in less than a week. I am now convinced that I gave up because I didn’t really believe I could do it. I didn’t really commit.
What do I mean by commit? Well the best analogy I can think of comes from yoga. When I was attempting to learn how to do a handstand (against a wall), I went through a long period of trying and failing. I would position my hands by the wall, and I would “kick up” like they showed in the yoga videos – but nothing happened. I would kick a little higher and harder, but my feet would always land back on the floor. Then one day, after a few months of this, I kicked up and found myself standing on my hands! My arms were supporting me. They didn’t buckle. I didn’t fall over. My weight was supported. I could do this. Well once I discovered that I COULD do it, I never had a problem kicking up. The problem had not been technique, or strength, or anything else other than a lack of belief that I could stand on my hands. Without that belief, I was not “committing” to the action. I was holding back because I was afraid I would fail and get hurt. To get up on your hands, you have to REALLY kick like you mean it, and believe that your arms will support you when you get there! And to succeed on MWL, you have to approach it with total commitment, and believe that the foods on the program will satisfy and sustain you.
Once I made that commitment to MWL a few months ago, everything else fell into place. I began to trust that I really could eat all I wanted as long as I stuck to MWL foods with the correct ratio of starch to green & yellow vegetables (I aim for fifty-fifty). I do incorporate a few regular plan foods into my mostly MWL lifestyle, but only occasionally. Once a week I have either pizza or pasta (whole grain), and once in a while I use some lite silken tofu or some nuts in a condiment or dressing (but not a lot, and not every day). I recently calculated that about 5% of my weekly calories come from regular plan foods like flour products, nuts, and tofu. That’s why I label my eating style “mostly MWL.”
MWL may not be the right path for everyone, but it’s working for me, and not only that but it now feels “normal,” like something I can live with. The first few weeks were challenging, but it got easier. I wish I had known how easy it would become, but I never found out because I never gave it a fair chance. I let myself be controlled by my doubts and fears, and my beliefs about what I could and could not do. Most of us can do far more than we think we can. Have faith in yourself and in the program, commit to your path, and don't look back!
Since I achieved my goal weight four years ago, I have gradually regained 15 pounds. I guess that's not a lot, considering that in the past, I could have gained 15 pounds in 4 months, never mind 4 years. However, I feel very disappointed in myself because of it. I'm slowly coming around to accepting that MWL is going to have to be it for me, too, 98% of the time. (I enjoy pasta once a week, too)
