My Journal

[mrweetabix]

Hello,

I'm not sure how to start this, but many of you are probably rolling your eyes by now

Well, I'd like to post my progression and thoughts on this journal one day at a time, as perhaps this would be easier and more understandable for many, instead of me blurting things out spontaneously which seems to be m previous problem!

As many of you know, but for those who don't, I have had a diagnosis of Anorexia Nervosa since age 14, I am now 18 and wil be 19 in December. My life for the past few years have been very dormant and vulnerable which in the end as left me as a shell, empty and selfish.

However, for some time now I have been craving life and have been blessed to have come across Dr McDougall, a doctor who unlike many is so genuine and down to Earth, unlike other doctors in the medical profession of whom seem to be like text books.

Anyway, I will soon be posting my weight in a 'progress bar' once I find one, I will also post my daily intake and how I feel. I really want to get to a place where I can run, when I was in High School I loved running, and I came 2nd in the 800m!, but right now that isn't possible.

I believe I can stick and become a McDougall success, even if it takes a long time, I want to do it properly now, I am tired to being scared and it's time to change.

[dlb]

hey mrweetabix -

Just wanted to pop in and say hello. I have to say that even though I have a very good friend who also suffers from anorexia, I really don't understand it. And while I don't feel at all qualified to give you any kind of guidance in regards to your eating, I do want to offer you support and encouragement on your McDougall adventure.

Looking forward to reading more from you.

Donna

[mrweetabix]

Hello,

So today has gone extremely well, and I have been very strict with myself for once. I have a HUGE tendency to overestimate caloric values of foods ( I know calorie counting is not required ) but I have had a limit of 1,600kcals, which is alot of foods, but when I enter into a calculator/CRON it comes out sometimes below 1,000kcals...so today I have MADE myself be accurate.

B: 4 apples ( Not 2 which I normal feel safe with )

L: 4 Carrots and a big plate steamed spinach

Later on I plan to have a large sweet potato and butternut Squash.


This is alot of food, but when added up it really isn't that much calorically, which makes me feel content, but at the same time very anxious, cause I made need to have more in time to come, at the moment I cannot get my head around it yet, but my mind will become clear later on.

MY WEIGHT TODAY WAS 45.2KG, I hope I can get up to 51kg, which was the weight I maintained for a period of time and felt great, my height is 182cm...I am still growing taller! which is amazing.

P.S. I also have an appointment for a DEXA bone density scan coming up, I am wondering what the results will show, I've been waiting 1 year for it!

[somnolent]

mrweetabix, I think it's great that you are doing this in journal format! People can get the whole story and offer support and encouragement if they want, or ignore it if they want.

I also think it's great that you are still growing taller...I am no expert, but it seems like a healthy sign.

[Conan]

I will soon be posting my weight in a 'progress bar' once I find one

People here use 2 different types of graphs: one showing their progression of weight loss over time, and one showing their current and goal bmi (without an indication of time and a figurine galloping along).

I advise the "weight loss graph" as that more clearly shows your progression over time. (or maybe use both)


Anyway, good of you to post this journal. This is a good way for yourself and others to see your progress. And for you to get feedback.

[janluvs2heel]

So you weigh around 99 lbs & are about 5' 11". And want to be 110 lbs? And almost 19.

Yeah, I am rolling my eyes.

Dont worry, I wont be posting in here anymore.

[kittyadventures]

Hi Mr.W.. Eat my friend and you need to work toward a lot more than that 1600 you are aiming for... but keep up the push to get there. You will eventually if you keep on track.

I will peek in every once in a while... i think you may find this venue a better place to help you with some of your issues.

And a better way to see your progress or lack of progress.

Don't forget to see if you can get an eating disorder doctor or therapist.

[RRC]

Hi,

Try to add starch at every meal (not carrots). Even if it's just a bite at first. You will get anxious about it. When that happens, focus on your breathing and tell yourself supportive things about what you're doing. Let the negative thoughts come and then pass without engaging with them. I don't know about anorexia, but I have had experience with anxiety. I know how frightening it can be.

I admire your courage in returning here after the terrible reactions you've had to your other posts. That shows real commitment. Keep pushing to eat more food.

Good luck,

RRC

[f1jim]

I think you are off to a good start and wish you luck on pursuing your goals. I am sure your progress will be eyed by many. Be the best example of what this diet program can do.
f1jim

[afreespirit]

Rooting for you MrW!

[mrweetabix]

Hello,

Thank you very much for your comments, I am so grateful to be part of this board..All the stress of shopping for the groceries, anxiety and upcoming studying is immensley relieved by having people to talk to which although may not have the same problems as me, do however have/had problems with the huge tole life brings on us before we eventually break free.

I'm glad to have gotten today over. I ate everything as planned. I do have some difficulty though with buying exotics such as the Squash, so I think I'm going to have 2 potatoes instead, this is a matter of 'learning to walk before I run'.

I am so lonely, I missed my freinds..I used to be outgoing. I WAS THE ONE ASKING EVERYONE TO COME OUT...It's strange also that my family were really concerned for me at the beginning but now they just don't pay much notice, except ask me to leave the living room when they're eating fast foods, as I make them feel guilty ( I know I sound like I am feeling sorry for myself)

But I'm not letting anything get to me, I don't know if you can relate to getting so low that you feel so vulnerable and less valuable than others..but have this huge desire to overcome it so that you can be as eligdble as them...but sort of negatively? It's hard to explain.

On the bright side, I'm only 18, so there's much that I can thankfully reverse. I really want you to know I am not playing games, to be honest I'm not sure who I am anymore, I don't know how my views are interpreted, so sorry if I come across as rude/depressing! it will all change in time

[peasouper]

Dear Sam

I want you to understand that you are a precious person, you matter very much and you are certainly 'eligible'. I don't know much about anorexia so I can't give you any advice about beating your illness.

All I can do is remind you of what Dr McDougall says, which is, be mindful that Dr McDougall advises us to base each meal around a starch, then add veggies to it. This needs to become a habit, think of the starch first and the veg comes second.

Best wishes Sue

[mrweetabix]

Thank you PeaSouper, haven't seen you around lately!

Today I'm getting huge mental strain, I believe the raw thing as really played with my head. I know deep down it's not feasible, but still.

I've have down really well today though in terms of food.

B: 2 pink lady apples

l: Parnip and carrot with cauliflower garnished with mustard

( the mustard made me cry )

D: 2 Potatoes with Broccoli with soy sauce.


I am getting anxious about silly things again, about how would I cook if I didn't have an oven, I know it seems ridiculous but it really does torment me, but I'm still going on, I am such a control freak and it annoys me and my family.

When I return to college for my final year, I'm going to try and socialise with people. I am like a old man! I haven't gone out with freinds since I was 14-15, I don't know how I've stayed sane, or have I

Can anyone offer some advice or how I can overcome tthe worries about not being able to cook! it really bothers me.

P.S. I went out without my hat today. I haven't gone out without one for years! I get embarrassed normally without it cause my hair is long, I need to step out of my comfort zones.

[simoncat]

Dear Sam

I want you to understand that you are a precious person, you matter very much and you are certainly 'eligible'. I don't know much about anorexia so I can't give you any advice about beating your illness.

All I can do is remind you of what Dr McDougall says, which is, be mindful that Dr McDougall advises us to base each meal around a starch, then add veggies to it. This needs to become a habit, think of the starch first and the veg comes second.

Best wishes Sue

Yes, me too, Sam. We are rooting for you!!!

[sagegirl]

Dear Sam,
Just a note to say that I, also, am wishing you success in every way.

To answer your question concerning cooking without an oven --- you can bake in a small 8X8 electric non-stick skillet by Deni. I have one, and like it very much. It's not expensive. Has a glass lid, which enables the baking process. Also, one can cook almost any vegetable in it.

I wish you the best!