Daffodil 2011(Aug-Dec)

[Daffodil]

This is my third journal try. The other two tries are out there somewhere and I don't need them anymore.
I thought I would try yet again, to be more accountable. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. I have a fear of total commitment, I know that now. A mind thing. I think if I take it one hour at a time, then one day at a time that I can make some good progress. I have to clarify when I say I don't do the plan totally perfect, and fall off plan, I mean to say that my off plan lasts maybe a day or two at the most, but I always shake off the crumbs and start again! I explained this on the thread that blondie started, wondering why some of us can't stay with it. My idea of staying with it is when you do it totally perfect. Not if you slip up and have a soy yogurt. OR a bite of cheese. OR some oil in the gravy even if it's just a spoon. Others on here will say that's not going off plan, going off plan is pigging out on SAD food. Or scarfing down a bag of chips. (i love those) We each have our own idea's about things for sure. I feel guilty if I mess up. But always crawl back on the potato wagon and try again.

I have been making slow and steady progress for awhile. The weight is not coming off like it used to, due to not being able to be outside and walking or biking yet. I don't know whether my left knee will ever heal up enough to do all that again so someday when I win the lottery, I will be able to have the knee surgery. Until then, I have to learn to live with it. Because not having any insurance at all, not being able to afford insurance kind of puts a damper on things.

When doing my video workouts inside, I go along pretty much ok for awhile, and then my left leg almost goes out from under me. It buckles without warning. So I make sure a chair is nearby on the left so I can try to make some progress. I don't need to be falling yet again! As I sure hate that! And more pain comes with that!
I know many on here say they can just eat MWL and the weight melts off without exercise, but for me, it works best with exercise. Ever since my 40's, it's been extra difficult for the weight to melt away, even if strictly doing MWL. I have not been following MWL strictly, I would say it's 60% that, and 40% regular program. So I need the exercise, and it gets things moving inside, which we all need to be healthy!

So for the good news, here is my food I ate today:
Breakfast: 2 peaches. Coffee with maple sugar.
Lunch: Brown rice with my homemade red lentil loaf.
Dinner: A big bowl of steamed brussel sprouts.
Snack: A yellow apple pear. (yellow ones are more apple-y, which is juicier. Brown ones are more peary-y.)

I have been forcing myself to go to sleep earlier and getting up much earlier. I read something somewhere that said the most optimal time for the body to heal is between 10p.m and 6a.m., so we should all try to sleep during that time. I don't know if that is true or not, but I will try anything almost once.
I am working towards earlier times but at least I now get up several hours earlier in the mornings now. I had to stay up for 2 whole days to get this far, and believe me, it's so much harder to try to reset when you are older. But once you do it, it feels better. It takes 100 days to form a habit, so I should be ok by Dec.1. Then when new years eve comes, it should wreck it for sure!

[janluvs2heel]

Hi Daffodil,

I remember reading a while ago about your knee injury. In 2007 I slipped in a restaurant & I injured my right knee, which at the time was my good knee. I could barely put any weight on it & it would do the same thing, all of a sudden buckle, with a lot of pain. It also really popped a lot & when it would buckle, I would get a lot of the painful popping. I started doing exercises that strengthened the muscles around the knee. I used to not be able to lay down & lift my right leg off the ground, it would hurt so bad. When I went to the Dr., I thought I had torn the meniscus or something else, but I hadn't. So I kept working at it, one day I noticed it was not collapsing as much & it kept slowly getting better. It took about 9 months but today it rarely bothers me. I also read where riding a stationary bike is really good for the muscles of the knees & also, you are sitting down, so I think that helps, too.

Fear of failure. Hmm, I had never thought about that. I always seem to get so close to my goal, but then start the quick march back up, it goes a lot faster that way, doesn't it? For some reason, I don't believe that I am worthy of a healthy body but I am working on that attitude. Right now I am doing really well. I am also adamant about being as close to it as I can, especially when it comes to eating fat. In the past that would mean totally going off plan when I made one mistake, but I am working on that.

Glad to see you here, writing about your Journey.

[Daffodil]

Thanks for the nice words janluvs2heel.
Something has changed within me. We had a crisis yesterday, and this is the first time I didn't head to the fridge and pig out.
One of our neighbors roommates "accidentally" left the water running in the sink on thursday night and she went to sleep. She said she woke up around 2-2:30am and the whole place was flooded on their side. Their bathroom is on the other side of the wall from my husbands office/mad scientist room.(junk)
While using the downstairs bathroom on thursday night I smelled a weird "musty earthy" type smell, and could not figure out what it was. My throat was irritated, almost like a sore throat and I could not figure that out either. I hardly ever get sick, so I thought I was coming down with a cold.
So I went and made a green smoothie just in case, although I had been foregoing them lately, I thought I really needed to get some extra nutrients in, because I wanted to chase the flu away.
I kept feeling "off" and more tired. So I scooped the litter boxes in the laundry room across from the bathroom, tidied up in the kitchen, and went upstairs to go online before going to bed.

Friday morning, I wake up and my throat is a little better. So I thought the smoothie worked. Feeling good. I go downstairs to feed the kitties, get some tea. Having my fruit at the table and my throat started feeling sore again. And now my breathing is affected. That weird musty/earthy smell is stronger. I go use the downstairs bathroom around 11am and the floor is all wet! I thought "Oh no, the toilet or sink is leaking." All the boxes we had stored in there were all soaked through. I removed the top boxes that were not wet. I then had my husband remove the rest. We mopped up the floor with a towel and then checked the toilet and sink. Nothing dripping. We are bewildered beyond belief. We looked around, up at the ceiling, in the hallway and up. Nothing. We go to the garage, and talking about it, and I look up and the ceiling looks like it's falling down! Wet spots all over the place. By this time it was 1p.m.

We go next door, and the owner comes down and he knew about the leak and he could have come over in the morning to say "Hey, we had a major leak, is your place ok?", but he did not. I guess he thought it wouldn't affect us??? I like the guy and his roommate, I don't want to be angry, but I am greatly irritated.
So they get a company to come out and test for water damage. They drill holes, take away the baseboards in the bathroom and hallway. Set up 7 huge fans in the garage, bathroom and hallway that are still running and will have to for a few more days! Plus a huge de-humidifier. All my energy conservation has just flown out the window. I think our bill will shoot way up, so who is going to pay for it? We are on a fixed income. It's just a big fat hairy inconvenience! I would usually run to the fridge, cupboards or go to the store and pig out when a crisis happens. But for some reason, food was the last thing i wanted.
All I want now is my quiet house back. I know it's just another learning experience in life, but as soon as I can, I am moving! No more shared walls for me!!

So far, I have not eaten today. Just had one cup of coffee with some maple sugar.(maple sugar is my creamer replacement.Lightly sweet and I just use a little to get small amount of sweetness)
It is 1p.m.. I will go down and probably eat a peach or two. Or have some oatmeal or puffed rice. I should eat before the fun begins again at 2p.m when the workers return.

[Daffodil]

Had goulash tonight. Whole wheat macaroni, with Lightlife smart ground(fake hamburger...don't care for the taste too much anymore), and tomato sauce plus one packet of Sloppy joe mix from an organic company.
It was ok...those fake meats just don't do much for me anymore. Even though they say they do not use GMO soybeans at all, they still use too many additives and hidden MSG.
My husband had bought 2 packages of it on sale at our local store, and wanted to see what to do with it. He of course loved the recipe, as he eats everything as long as it's in front of him.

It's nice to know I've about lost my taste for the fake meats. The fake cheeses I quit using long ago, the store bought ones. I did try Daiya cheese once, and it was SO salty! Oily salt is what it tasted like. Eww.
Anyway, I am drinking water now. And going to bed in a few hours.

[Marla]

I know many on here say they can just eat MWL and the weight melts off without exercise, but for me, it works best with exercise. Ever since my 40's, it's been extra difficult for the weight to melt away, even if strictly doing MWL.

Hi Amy,

I am another one who has never had the weight "melt away" with MWL. It does come off if I work at it, but I have to maximize my proportion of green and yellow veggies. I can understand your frustration with not being able to exercise the way you want to. I don't know what it is about exercise -- it seems to be about more than burning calories. It helps put me in the right mindset for on-plan eating. If I couldn't walk or run I'd do exactly what you are doing - stick with the program and do whatever modified exercise program I could do. Slow progress is still progress and it's all better than the alternative!

Glad you started journaling again.

[Daffodil]

Thanks for the nice words Ladies.

I wish I were in a better mood, but at least I am not eating. The house is drying up inside, the garage ceiling still has wet spots. If it's still wet tomorrow, there will be mold in there they said. They will go into the wall and do what they have to do. Meanwhile our electric bill will be record breaking and we cannot pay it. We have to pay it first before their insurance company reimburses us and how long will that take? A $400 electric bill will be no laughing matter. We could not afford for an insurance adjuster to come out and check this all out, because they wanted a $500 deductible first. We do not have any money saved, since there was no work for either of us the last few years, still isn't, and Dave is now on early retirement. You simply cannot live on social security alone, have a mortgage, bills, eat, drive the car, etc.
If it gets really bad, we will pack it all up and move to Michigan if we have to. I like it there, but Dave does not. He was born there. He hates the winters. The good times are over I guess.

Anyway...more bad news:
My younger sister Victoria called me tonight and she was crying on the phone. She told me what all happened with our Mom. She fell yesterday and fell fast first onto the floor after tripping over the open dishwasher door. She has a black eye, sprained wrist, her top dentures broke in half and got shoved into her lip so she had stitches. She was all bruised up. The nurse had the nerve to tell my sister Victoria that she had better not see our Mom like that again. Implying someone is doing this to her! No one is. My Mom doesn't use her walker like she should and then she loses her balance and falls.
Two of my sisters that live with my Mom are caretakers of her. One of them is always there, but like kids, it's hard to watch someone 24/7. My Mom has a walker that she hates, so she puts it aside and goes into the kitchen. She still likes to wash dishes by hand, and she was doing that at the time she fell.

And more bad news: My sister Victoria, also my favorite sister, has to go in for a breast biopsy next week. They think she might have breast cancer? She is only 44 I think. I have tried to tell her over and over to get on plan with this way of eating but she loves her burgers so damn much! And cheese, cottage cheese, sour cream, milk! It really bugs me! She eats a lot of processed foods! Is it too late for her to switch diet if I can just talk her into it? Will it save her? I would just die if she died.
I am just so angry lately, and frustrated by many things. But at least i am not eating! I don't want the food anymore. Which is good, since we can barely afford to buy it these days.
I am going to sleep. More later.

[toadfood]

Amy, I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time right now. It's great that you're taking care of yourself through it all.

Didn't Ruth Hedrich (not sure about spelling) change her diet after her cancer diagnosis? And she's still going strong, so I'd say there's plenty of hope for your sister.

[simoncat]

Amy, I am hoping things will get brighter for you soon. Sometime, bad things come in clumps, but then things get better. About your sister, at least you have the knowledge to help her and that is a GOOD THING!! Hoping for better things to come.

[StarchBeet]

Daffodil...I feel for you. I hope your mother heals soon and its no fun when family is blamed when accidents happen. Since my daughter has seizures I have gotten that more than once.

The finances are also something many relate to. I hope you have enough support to make it through. All I do is focus on eating well so that the other stresses won't have as much negative impact. Wishing you the best of luck!

[Marla]

Hi Amy,

I am so sorry to hear that all this stuff is coming down on you at once. At times like that it can look like there is no end in sight. A lot of times though, our worst fears never come to pass and we spend a lot of time worrying about things that never end up happening. I hope something happens to break the pattern of bad luck you are having.

I don't think it is too late for your sister. She might not have breast cancer, and if she does, it does not mean she will die from it. But I do hope she considers changing her diet with your encouragement. I have a younger sister whom I love dearly, who is morbidly obese (like our mom was) and has the beginnings of various chronic diseases. She is in her late 20s. I am so scared that if she doesn't change, she will have a life of illness and an early death to look forward to. All I can do is talk to her about the way I eat and hope that she makes a connection before it is too late.

Hang in there and take it one day at a time.....

[Daffodil]

Thank you Toadfood, Simoncat, Debbie, Starchbeet, and Marla.
Unfortunately, I have a family that would rather die than switch their diets. I keep working on them, and they get all quiet and disaproving when I try to help them. My sister Victoria also still smokes, so double trouble.
--
And changing the subject, tomorrow I start that challenge with Chile and others to stick to McDougalling perfectly for 30 days. My kitchen is all prepared for it, all bad foods are gone. Even the rice and oat milks, gone. I hope to be at least 10 lbs lighter by my birthday on Oct.2. It should be a good gift.
More later, time to go spend my $5 on some potatoes and rice. I hope to get some broccoli as well. And some brussel sprouts.

[Daffodil]

I'm just going to concentrate on this months 30 day challenge, so if you want to post in here, feel free. If I do not reply, please don't feel bad. I just want to get my food posted for the day and any exercise. I hope you understand, Thank you!
---
Day 1 over with. Thursday, 9-1-11.

Breakfast: Banana and strawberries with tea. I'm never too hungry in the mornings. Never have been.

Lunch: Leftover russet and red potatoes with no salt added fire roasted muir glen tomatoes. I love those! With smoked paprika and my garlic powder/salt mixture I make.

Snack: Small plate of brown rice with no salt added kidney beans with smoked paprika and garlic mix.

Dinner: Steamed broccoli florets with whole grain sphagetti pasta. With smoked paprika and garlic mix.

Snack: Pluot. (half plum, half apricot)

You may notice I have smoked paprika and my garlic mix a lot. Yes, I do. I like the combination. We buy a good sized container of the smoked paprika from Costco. Plus the garlic granules. So I take the garlic granules and mix with salt, so it's mostly garlic. I think I will just call it SPGM for short.

Exercise consisted of houseworkd and battling the stupid ants that took over my kitchen yet again!!! I hate them! Will putting up tiny signs for them that say "KEEP OUT" do me any good? lol
Now, onto day 2.

[Daffodil]

Day 2 and so far so good. Will post my food later.
This forum seems to be letting in more people that are shills for the meat and dairy industry, while pretending to be people interested in this way of eating. They are wasting valuable bandwidth and really getting nowhere except in trying to ticking us off. Chimichanga is one. There are a few others...I am sure you know who.
I also find it really irritating that a certain dst_____ goes around and picks apart my posts. I put that person on ignore. I am sure I have seen this person do this before to many others. They believe they are the only one's that know anything and the rest of us don't. At least I cannot see his/her posts anymore. So for that i am thankful.
Enough of the drama. On to doing this month successfully.

[Daffodil]

Day 2 of 30 day challenge.

Food:
Banana
Strawberries
big bowl of oatmeal with cinnamon
Homemade iced tea with stevia
Big bunch of spinach, lightly steamed
3 good sized baked potatoes with mustard/SPGM/nutritional yeast.
Banana rolled in pumpkin pie spice
10 oz bag of steamed peas with some salt
Lots of water throughout the day.

Now onto day 3.

Before I go,I will admit, being a human and all, I felt the twinges of "wanting something else" but did not give into it. I had to see what I had that was McD compliant and go from there. I may attempt one of Jeff Novicks snap soups tomorrow.

[Daffodil]

Day 3. Ate more today than usual. Was out and about most of the day and passed up a few temptations.

B-Oatmeal with cinnamon and tart cherries with a little pure maple syrup to chase away the tartness of the cherries.

S-Pluot, Marys Gone Crackers herb crackers.

L-Several small red steamed potatoes (about 9)I nuked before leaving and took with me today so I could stay on plan.

S-Honeydew melon slice.

D-Big plate of whole grain pasta, lots of steamed broccoli, and cannelini beans. With my famous SPMG. I wish I could get photos of some of my meals, but no camera handy lately.

I had a few people try to "secretly sabotage" me while being gone. We went to a casino for our monthly free slot play. A lady was coming by with salty gooey snacks they were handing out to the players. My husband refused for both of us.

The other casino we went to for free slot play, they tried to offer us 2 free buffets instead of the $10. We took the slot play.

Sure it was probably a coincidence that the food sabotage ploy came into play..because really, the first casino we always go to, they never tried to offer us food before. I wonder if they have radar or something. lol
The second place I flat out told her that I was in day 3 of a 30 day vegan challenge. She thought it was quite funny and I told her nothing will sway me from my course.

I weighed myself for the fun of it this morning and was really stoked that 3.5 lbs melted away already! Sure, it may be mostly water weight, but I will take it any way I can get it. Plus a blouse I had been wanting to wear had just the right amount of looseness I needed to wear it in public. Felt great. Finally I don't have to rely on the same 2 blouses all the time! I think people thought I didn't own any more clothes than that! If they only knew I have a closet full of stuff they'd be shocked. Once I got to my highest weight, I had flat out refused to buy bigger clothes. Now it will be nice to get rid of my bigger clothes so I will never get to that size ever again. One day at a time.
Now onto Day 4.