Square One

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Square One

Postby talkingmountain » Sat Jun 11, 2011 12:17 am

I'm back. No surprise that in my time hiding from the McD boards I've put on 25 of the 45 lbs I'd lost, and my cholesterol & sugar levels are back up into the worrisome stage. Between multiple bouts of steroids (to help me breathe) and sheer tiredness, I've lost the will to prepare food, and it shows. Somehow though I've got to get back on track. I hate the way I feel, and the more crap I eat the worse I'm gonna keep feeling.

Today I am starting small. I am making myself post here, and I'm going to list a few reasons why I want to get back to the healthier way of eating.

1. I hate taking so much medicine. It makes me feel old. It's expensive, too. Meds for GERD, meds for asthma, meds for allergies. All these would improve significantly if I ate better and let the weight fall off like I know it will.

2. I hate looking at "Walmart People" and realizing I look like them now.

3. I hate the belly that hangs over my thighs.

4. I feel constantly afraid that I am going to have a heart attack or something similar.

(Well I see that's all negative! LOL no surprise there I guess. Let's try to phrase things a little more positively)...

5. I want to feel good.

6. I want to live longer and enjoy it.

7. I want to have the energy to do more than sit and watch TV when I get home.

8. I want to be a good example for my daughter. She eats the way she sees me eating (not what I tell her to eat, of course!). She copies my sedentary ways.

9. I want to feel proud of my food choices, which means no dairy or eggs (I already avoid meat -- it's just disgusting to me now).

Not a very inspiring list but it's a start at least. Next I will try to make myself post what I eat, crap and all; not to humiliate myself but rather to help myself face where I'm at.

Now it's time for sleep.
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Re: Square One

Postby eaufraiche703 » Sat Jun 11, 2011 5:26 am

good, mountain!

square one is a great place to be - you have a record of success, and you know how it feels to be 100% compliant!

aren't you lucky - some people don't know how to go about achieving those things you've posted that you want...

just think how great you will feel after a few days of being back on track :nod:

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
what would Scooby do?
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Re: Square One

Postby TominTN » Sat Jun 11, 2011 10:09 am

Welcome back! It's nice to see your handle again.
Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're probably right.

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Re: Square One

Postby Rosey » Sat Jun 11, 2011 10:06 pm

talkingmountain wrote:I'm back. No surprise that in my time hiding from the McD boards I've put on 25 of the 45 lbs I'd lost, and my cholesterol & sugar levels are back up into the worrisome stage. Between multiple bouts of steroids (to help me breathe) and sheer tiredness, I've lost the will to prepare food, and it shows. Somehow though I've got to get back on track. I hate the way I feel, and the more crap I eat the worse I'm gonna keep feeling.

Today I am starting small. I am making myself post here, and I'm going to list a few reasons why I want to get back to the healthier way of eating.

1. I hate taking so much medicine. It makes me feel old. It's expensive, too. Meds for GERD, meds for asthma, meds for allergies. All these would improve significantly if I ate better and let the weight fall off like I know it will.

2. I hate looking at "Walmart People" and realizing I look like them now.

3. I hate the belly that hangs over my thighs.

4. I feel constantly afraid that I am going to have a heart attack or something similar.

(Well I see that's all negative! LOL no surprise there I guess. Let's try to phrase things a little more positively)...

5. I want to feel good.

6. I want to live longer and enjoy it.

7. I want to have the energy to do more than sit and watch TV when I get home.

8. I want to be a good example for my daughter. She eats the way she sees me eating (not what I tell her to eat, of course!). She copies my sedentary ways.

9. I want to feel proud of my food choices, which means no dairy or eggs (I already avoid meat -- it's just disgusting to me now).

Not a very inspiring list but it's a start at least. Next I will try to make myself post what I eat, crap and all; not to humiliate myself but rather to help myself face where I'm at.

Now it's time for sleep.


I so know the tiredness because you can't breath and the on again off again steroids I've been going through the same thing.
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Square One, Day 1 of Observation

Postby talkingmountain » Sat Jun 11, 2011 11:04 pm

I don't really want to post what I ate today but I made a promise so here goes. For now I'm trying for "observation without judgement." The objective right now is just to truly start "seeing" what I'm eating and to observe the patterns that tend to lead me into eating junk, which should in turn help me get back on the path to McDougalling. So here goes.

Breakfast
- Lg bowl blueberries w/whole grain wheat flakes, almond milk, & sliced almonds

Snack
- 1/2 lg cake-like cookie
- 1 lg blended iced coffee w/soy milk

Lunch
- Cup of gazpacho & packet of 2 crackers.
- Grilled sandwich of peach salsa, brie, smoked ham on sourdough bread (removed the ham).
- Magic bar (SAD)
- Iced tea (unsweetened).
I was actually full about 1/2 to 2/3 through the meal.

Supper - Nothing. Upset stomach (no shit Sherlock).

Late-night Snack - 10 small fudge mint cookies. They were around from a recent sweets binge.

Exercise
- None today - severe thunderstorms made walking unsafe.

Travelling for the next two days so it will be a bit of a challenge to improve much. But at least there's plenty of room for improvement :roll:
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Re: Square One

Postby Garden » Sun Jun 12, 2011 4:41 am

Good to see you here. I've gone off before and worked my way back as well and know how steep that journey can be.

If I had posted what I was eating for the last two years, it would have basically been puffed cheese snacks, chocolate, wine and fried chinese foods...a kidney stone brought me back to my senses as well as a 60 lb weight gain- I knew how to do it and how good I felt when I was eating this way, but tough to get going again.

It's so hard to start again, but I think those small steps of posting and reaching out for support are fantastic.

Lots of support and no judgements to be found here!

Take care,
Garden
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Re: Square One

Postby kittyadventures » Sun Jun 12, 2011 10:51 am

Oh Mountain (((HUGS))) and welcome back.

I did the same thing and am back now and working toward better health I just recently got back weight wise to where I was when I quit McDougalling. I hope you feel better soon.
And keepit up you will do better day by day.
Who knew an Apple a day, really would keep the Doctor away!
"Be the change you want to see in the world"--Gandhi.

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Re: Square One

Postby Anna Green » Sun Jun 12, 2011 4:28 pm

Hey!! Glad to see you. I haven't been doing my journal here much- I do it at McDougalltalk.com but I still check in some and will check on you. I miss you! And you know I don't judge so think of me and others like me when you hesitate to write, not judging but wanting the best for you.

One easy peasy dish I now love is fresh green beans cooked in pasta sauce over brown rice. Sometimes I add zucchini. Yummy. Would be good over a potato too. Also I cook frozen broc with frozen onions and galic in low salt veg broth to put over br rice. Sometimes I add nut yeast or garbanzos. Surpisingly good. I cook the broc till soft though I know that's not the healthiest way but I like it soupy and I eat the broth. Just some ideas for lazy cooking. I'm sure you and others who really know how to cook could do better but these are two of my favorites. Oh and Whole Foods has this salad dressing called Cindy's in the refrig sect that I love love to marinate raw sweet potato slices in. It's the spicy mango one. I've gotten others hooked as well. It is a treat big time and legal.

Anyway, glad you are back. I will probably head your way again in the Fall and would love to see you.
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Re: Square One

Postby Broadbean » Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:58 pm

I'm looking forward to following your journey to HEALTH!!

Keep it up!

:thumbsup:
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Today's Food

Postby talkingmountain » Sun Jun 19, 2011 9:06 pm

Thanks for the warm welcome (or is it a re-welcome?) and encouragement, everyone.

We've been travelling so I didn't keep up with writing down my food, but I did try to observe what I was eating. It wasn't pretty, but even observing with as little judgementalism as I can muster is a good practice for me.

Something clicked this weekend when we went to pick up dd at her dance camp. We walked around in the southern heat touring the facilities, and I was out of breath (even though I have been walking regularly for stress control). And a few days prior to that, I'd had to do an unexpected hike for work and found that I was as out of shape as the overweight, meat-eating, smoking folks I was walking with. This wasn't asthma out-of-breath; this was I'm too fat to walk out-of-breath.

Anyway, somehow I just feel like I'm ready. I don't want to continue being a blobby mom who'd rather eat cake than have the energy to play with her kid. I don't want to continue being a hypocrite -- telling my dd to eat healthy while I stuff my face with crap. And anyway, what am I proving at this point in my life by eating the foods that were forbidden to me as a kid?

I'm also tired of being in pain, especially when I know how good I can feel once I start eating right. I'm tired of taking umpteen medicines a day. I'm tired of worrying that the constant twinge n my chest means a heart attack is about to happen (the pain's been checked out thoroughly & it's not heart related, but I still worry).

So, although my eating today wasn't McDougall, it was reasonable. I finally was able to set aside the candy bars & cookies & cake that I've been living on for months. Even when I went grocery shopping!

TODAY'S FOOD
- My homemade "muesli" (thick rolled oats, 2 sm peaches, some raisins & walnuts, topped w/almond milk).
- Tea (Bigelow's Green Tea w/Pomegranate - my favorite!). No coffee today, yay!
- Toast w/PB & jelly (bread is always 100% whole grain unless otherwise noted)
- Almond-milk yogurt
- Peach & toast
- Amy's pita pocket (a vegan flavor)
- Grilled squash, peppers, & garlic over brown rice, topped w/Pineapple Ginger Teryiaki Sauce (bottled - 0 fat calories/serving)
- "Fruit, Fruit, & Ginger!" from Esselstyn book. ABSOLUTELY AWESOME RECIPE! Seemed to be crying out for some mint so I added some chopped fresh mint leaves too.
- 2 scoops sorbet w/2 Tbsp melted chocolate chips

TODAY'S EXERCISE
- 10-minute abs tape
- Walked the loop (takes about 30 mins & includes steep hills)

TOMORROW'S PLAN:
- Do abs tape in morning
- Walk at lunch
- LUNCH - leftover rice, veggies, & fruit salad
- SUPPER - Easy-Peasy veggie sauce over baked potatoes; Grilled pineapple
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Re: Square One

Postby talkingmountain » Sun Jun 19, 2011 9:21 pm

Garden, thanks for your encouragement. Your "diet" for the past 2 years sounds like you were at least having a lot of fun! Seriously though, it helps immeasurably to hear from others who've gotten off track but who've re-started despite the difficulty.

Garden wrote:Good to see you here. I've gone off before and worked my way back as well and know how steep that journey can be.

If I had posted what I was eating for the last two years, it would have basically been puffed cheese snacks, chocolate, wine and fried chinese foods...a kidney stone brought me back to my senses as well as a 60 lb weight gain- I knew how to do it and how good I felt when I was eating this way, but tough to get going again.

It's so hard to start again, but I think those small steps of posting and reaching out for support are fantastic.

Lots of support and no judgements to be found here!

Take care,
Garden
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Re: Square One

Postby talkingmountain » Mon Jun 20, 2011 7:10 pm

Today went really well, until the job I've been wanting was officially announced as being open. Even then, the unplanned/offplan food I ate was wayyyy less that I've been eating on a daily basis for months, and I got in some vigorous exercise, so overall I feel pretty positive.

TODAY'S FOOD
- My homemade "muesli" (thick rolled oats, 2 sm peaches, some raisins & walnuts, topped w/almond milk).
- Tea (black, not decaf). No coffee today, yay! But boy I felt it all day; sluggish.

- Leftover grilled veggies & brown rice, topped w/Pineapple Ginger Teryiaki Sauce (bottled - 0 fat calories/serving)
- Leftover "Fruit, Fruit, & Ginger!"
- About 4 oz Coca cola
- Tea (black, non-decaf)
- 1 normal-human-sized slice of single-layer chocolate cake

- Easy-Peasy veggie sauce over small baked potato
- 1/2 slice grilled pineapple
- 10 Newman-O's (not usually a problem food but it took me a while to realize I was eating to manage anxiety. Then I was able to put away the bag, though).

TODAY'S EXERCISE
- 40-minute Spin class! First one in 9 months or so.

TOMORROW'S PLAN:
- EXERCISE - Pilates at lunch.
- LUNCH - leftover veggie sauce over baked potato; leftover grilled pineapple.
- SUPPER - Board meeting @a seafood restaurant- planning on baked potato w/lots of cocktail sauce & salad or steamed veggies w/lemon juice.
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Re: Square One

Postby kittyadventures » Tue Jun 21, 2011 10:12 am

Hang in there and yay for you.

It is so hard to get back on track but so worth it and when you have been off the caffeine for a while you will wonder what you ever saw in it.

and now can we take a moment to extole the flavor of cocktail sauce.

Ohhh the delectable melding of tomato and horseradish. Sooo sooo wonderful.

:-D
Who knew an Apple a day, really would keep the Doctor away!
"Be the change you want to see in the world"--Gandhi.

http://www.kittyadventures.wordpress.com

Days in a row of exercise: 9
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Re: Square One

Postby talkingmountain » Tue Jun 21, 2011 1:59 pm

Thanks Kitty! I'm struggling with some cravings right now but am reminding myself that I am a bit hungry and also quite anxious (job stuff). A useful thing from Wt Watchers was HALT (are you Hungry Angry Lonely or Tired)
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Re: Square One

Postby Anna Green » Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:04 pm

40 min spin class. Wowee! Exercising always helps motivate me to eat right. I don't want to eat up all the calories I just burned!

If the job is open does that mean you have a chance at it too?
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