MmmCarb's Journal

[Mrs. Doodlepunk]

I think that it takes a lot longer to really be rid of even the resentment about not being able to eat Cheetos any more. At least, that has been my experience. Same with Dove bars. I think Dr. Esselstyn said that it takes 12 weeks to lose your taste for fat. And then, it all comes back with one taste! At least that has been my experience.

It is the same way with something highly addictive, like cocaine. One hit and it's all over even for someone who has been all through a detox program and had tons of counseling.

There is a thing going on with brain chemicals that I never really understood, but it takes a long time for your brain to learn a behavior, and to get un-addicted. It is explained so well by Dr. Kessler in his book. I highly recommend reading it if you haven't, sorry I can't remember if you did and told me so.

[MmmCarbs]

... If I resolve that food is off limits for me from now on I never have to deal with that issue. It's just not food to me.

That's the 'switch flipped' thing I was talking about. It's a done deal to you. Decision made, over!

I find those kind of shifts fascinating. Why can some people do it and some can't? Why can one person maintain a shift for a long period, then lose it? Why can someone do such a shift in one area of life and not another? It seems like one of the mysteries of humans!

All I have for myself is the one data point, where a 'facing my own mortality' type of thing seemed to lead immediately to such a shift.

[MmmCarbs]

I think that it takes a lot longer to really be rid of even the resentment about not being able to eat Cheetos any more. At least, that has been my experience. Same with Dove bars. I think Dr. Esselstyn said that it takes 12 weeks to lose your taste for fat. And then, it all comes back with one taste! At least that has been my experience.

It is the same way with something highly addictive, like cocaine. One hit and it's all over even for someone who has been all through a detox program and had tons of counseling.

There is a thing going on with brain chemicals that I never really understood, but it takes a long time for your brain to learn a behavior, and to get un-addicted. It is explained so well by Dr. Kessler in his book. I highly recommend reading it if you haven't, sorry I can't remember if you did and told me so.

I have the End of Overeating, and I can't remember either if we already talked about it I don't remember it too well, except he convinced me that the trifecta of fatty/sugary/salty is totally engineered to create addictive overeating.

I'm sure a 12 week abstinence would go much further than my 2-3 week abstinence did.

It seems you and Jim are both saying, "go the full route, don't mess around with half-measures. The full route works. Half-measures don't." I think I hear you, and agree about the full route working. I still believe it will work and has worked for many.

So I had a good start, and got sidetracked when my work hours and demands increased. Unfortunately there is probably nothing anyone can say that will enable me to step up the commitment level right now. So I'm in the grey area, making up my own strategies to hang on until I can commit more fully.

[Mrs. Doodlepunk]

It seems you and Jim are both saying, "go the full route, don't mess around with half-measures. The full route works. Half-measures don't."

Yes! That's what I'm saying, anyway.

So I had a good start, and got sidetracked when my work hours and demands increased. Unfortunately there is probably nothing anyone can say that will enable me to step up the commitment level right now. So I'm in the grey area, making up my own strategies to hang on until I can commit more fully.

I know what it's like to be in the middle of a big stressful situation and not be able to do anything. Hang in there and when things slow down, you will be able do this.

Back two summers ago when my father died, I had the worst stress ever in my life. I was away from home (and my favorite husband) because my parents lived in a remote area 6 hours from me, gone for my wedding anniversary, taking care of my mother, all kinds of things going on. Wanting her to move and she refused. Long story. Anyway, before all that happened, I had got to the point with this WOE where I was on autopilot. I didn't have to ever THINK about what to eat, it just happened. I was amazed.

Got through all that, then the Christmas and holiday stuff happened, and I never did get back on track, after having tastes of SAD and cookies and chocolates, etc. It was months before I got close to back on autopilot, and then it didn't last. More recently, I was not fully on program when things got very stressful again - my mother is declining in health and it's just been super busy - and I just could NOT get back into the groove. I had to wait for a patch of still water, get the canoe upright and bail it out, climb in, paddle on. It took a couple weeks to get over the cravings but I was able to get off of coffee, even. Now things are good again, autopilot and all that.

Anyway, you'll get there. You can do this. You have really good insights and have already done way better than some people who have been posting here for years.... like me

[f1jim]

Everything you have posted here is correct about that "switch." It is a done deal and will remain a done deal until i decide to willingly go against my innate sense fo what is the right course of action. The minute I make the decision to abandon my course is the minute the house falls down around me. And not just for that nibble. Intellectually I have given in to what I know is the wrong course of action and I think intellectually it's not worth the struggle since I have already blown it. Even though, in my head, I should just pick myself up and start all over again, emotionally the game is over. I feel defeated and depressed to have failed. You have to go back to that moment of giving in and NOT DO IT FOR ANYTHING. If you stay strong it makes the next test that much easier to stand up to. You have a track record of success to back you up. The challenges lose their strength with each successive moment of decision you hurdle.
I know it all sounds so rah-rah and simple but it is. Not easy but simple. Follow simple not easy. Acknowledge the difficulty. I do that every time I drive by a KFC!!!! I tell my self it smells great. It does. Reality is reality. But I don't stop. The first time I do it's all over in my brain. If I depend on willpower I'm depending on a losing scenario.
f1jim

[MmmCarbs]

=== Monday (holiday) ===
Wt: ?
B: oatmeal, cherries
L: mashed potatoes, veggie/bean stew
D: rice, mashed potatoes, veggie/bean stew
Snacks: dates
Late-night: oatmeal, cherries
Off-plan: nothing

=== Tue ===
Wt: 120.2
B: usual
L: leftover mix (rice, mashed taters, veggie/bean stew)
Snacks: bananas, dates, fresh fruit cup, plain apple sauce cup
D: hash browns
Late night: oatmeal, cherries
Off-plan: nothing

=== Wed ===
Wt: 120.?
B: usual
L: Chipotle bean/rice/salsa/lettuce bol
Snacks: bananas, dates, plain apple sauce cup
D: nothing
Off-plan: vending machine Nacho Cheez Doritos

== Th ===
Wt: 119.?
B: usual
L: banana
D: veggies, apple sauce, boiled potatoes
Off-plan: 2 handi-snaks, bag of salted nuts, schnapps

Crazy day! A city-wide power outage hit in early afternoon. The off plan was food scrounged at the office before setting off into gridlocked traffic (took over 3 hours to get home).

== Fri ===
Wt: 118.?
B: usual
L: Subway veggie delite with avo
D: tater, banana, apple sauce (can you call that dinner?)
Off plan: saltines, 2 Amer. cheez slices, froot loops

Late night at the office Still hungry, gonna make oatmeal I think.

=== Sat ===
Wt: 119.4
B: usual
L: 3 potatoes (oven fries)
D: ww pasta, veggie mix
Snacks: rice cakes, raspberries

=== Sun ===
Wt: 119.0
B: usual
L: rice + veggies
D: rice cakes. does that even count as dinner?
Off plan: fried veggie spring rolls
Snack: hash browns, dates

[MmmCarbs]

Well I think I've reached a point where having a ticker and a daily food log here doesn't make sense. My initial "good enough" result was just to maintain at 130. I'm maintaining 10 pounds below that, and have been for several weeks. I'm at my lowest BMI in over ten years.

I'm also enjoying a couple hundred calories off plan per day (that's averaged out, it's actually more like 300-400 calories at a time, but not every day). The dam hasn't broken, I haven't gone back to SAD. But I'm not wanting to trade those last bits of ultra-tasty food for an even lower BMI either! Today I had a chocolate chunk cookie from Starbucks, and honestly didn't regret it. It was a moment of clarity for me.

So to end this journal, I've accomplished all this:
- Learned to shop & cook simply. I go straight for my regular staples at the store and no longer wander, wondering what to buy/cook
- Swapped frequent take-out & restaurant meals for home cooked
- Learned to use spices & make improvised veggie stews
- Learned to base meals on starch (rice, oatmeal, taters, ww pasta)
- Learned to cook entirely without oil. Loving the non-greasy cleanup! I've quit using the dishwasher and mostly just use water for cleanup.
- Greatly increased my veggie intake. I eat several pounds per week
- Reduced my fruit intake (replaced with veggies, beans, and starches)
- Lost about 11 pounds

I'm looking forward to continued lurking/participating in the forum in other ways.