Journal to Health

[connieg]

Over a year ago I was on the McDougall plan for 7 months and was very pleased with it. I lost about 60 lbs during that time. I got off track for about 10 months. I gained almost all the weight back and couldn't seem to get motivated to start again. Somehow I managed to grit my teeth and do it on January 3rd of this year and I've been faithful with the exception of one meal. I have lost 23 lbs during that time, which is heartening. I have been doing the regular plan, although I did just finish reading the MWL book and am trying to do that one, but I still like a wheat tortilla for my sandwich spread for lunch.

I am having a few frustrations along the way and just want to write about them here and see if anyone can relate. For most of the time I've been doing the plan I've been losing about 1.5 lbs/week. I was frustrated b/c I felt like I was doing it almost perfectly and wanted to see a larger loss on the scale (the first time I did McDougall I feel like my weekly losses were more significant, but that may just be rosy hindsight). Then the week before last I lost a full 6 lbs! That was totally unexpected but greatly appreciated. I needed a boost for motivation. Then, just yesterday I weighed in and had gained half a lb. I did very little differently from the one week to the next, although I did have avocado in my sushi , but it probably amounted to a total of one avocado. Am I that sensitive?? Anyway, I wonder what others have experienced in regard to weekly weight loss and if I should ease up a bit on expecting so much every single week.

My second frustration is that I was exercising daily, but I pulled a groin muscle about a month ago. I have not been able to walk more than a small distance without it being uncomfortable and then, if I continue, painful. Walking/hiking are my main sources of exercise (although the injury occurred during a vigorous boot camp session during which I pushed myself beyond my fitness level). I am wary of chiropractors, but went to one. He ordered x-rays of my pelvis and hips, which showed a 6 mm difference from one side to the other. For various reasons I did not stay with this chiropractor for treatment (mostly felt pressure to pay $300 for some electrical diagnostic test that made me wary of the whole practice). I have a recommendation from someone I trust for a different chiropractor (he is Lance Armstrong's chiro, which may not mean anything good or bad). There is a part of me that just thinks I need to rest it and it will just take time. Anyone else ever had a groin pull-how long does it take to heal?

Finally, I have been gathering all the bolstering McDougall voices I can. I did the 10 day program in 2009 (or 08?), but since then have ordered a bunch of the books and DVDs. I have read the Pleasure Trap, Breaking the Food Seduction, China Study, several McDougall books, and more. I believe in the science of this whole heartedly and without any doubts. I recognize that I am probably making errors, mostly unintentional, that impact me in certain ways (fragrant flatulance anyone?). I also worry about getting too bogged down by the little things, but then I worry if I don't pay attention to the little things then I'll mess it all up. For example, I was watching a DVD from the Advanced Study Weekend. It was Dr. Geiger talking sh*t about white potatoes. Anyone hear this? What does it mean? I thought potatoes were okay, a whole food, full of goodness. I thought that, if all else failed, I could eat my weight in potatoes and still lose weight.

And that's when I start feeling overwhelmed.

If anyone is still reading, thanks so much for taking the time and for any thoughts, wisdom, etc. that you can offer. I really appreciate it!!

[ron_dem]

Welcome back to the plan, your doing wonderfully. You seem goal focussed, where I am life focussed. I have said in other threads this is a life's journey and there will be some setbacks just like any of life's situations. Its not all about weight loss its about what your are doing for your body and eventually your psyche. The weight will come off, just keep doing what you are doing, the whole journey won't be derailed because you had one mouthful of avacado ( so long as there are't too many mouthfuls ) All the positive things you did in your last two months are incredible and are an inspiration to readers. Keep up the good work and don't fret about the odd pot hole in the journey.

[connieg]

It's definitely true that I'm goal-focused at this stage. I recognize that being health-focused is important; I'm just not there right now. While my health is improved on McDougall it is not as obvious and rewarding as the weight loss. I'm motivated by the concrete and tangible, which, in the past, has included lots of chocolate and other immediately-satisfying, if not very healthy, items. I hope to get there, though. It's a process...

[connieg]

I'm still trying to figure out this journaling thing. So, in order to write in my journal and keep it to just one entry point then I should just keep "reply"ing to my own stuff as opposed to posting "new topic"-is that right?

I just spent about 4 hours cooking for the week. I made the savory veggie cassarole, easy potatoes, spinach soup, mac and "cheese", caesar dressing, baked yams, and steel cut oats. My fridge is totally full! And I had a few things leftover from last week so I am really set. I definitely prefer getting all my cooking done on Saturday so that Sunday can be a fully free day

Friday night I got home from work, tired and a bit stressed. I found a box of wheat thin crackers and made the mistake of sitting down in front of the t.v. with the whole box in my hand. I then proceeded to eat the entire box, which I later figured to be close to 1,000 calories. I am seeing it as just another lesson learned and can think of far more unhealthy ways I couldn't gone overboard (ordering a pizza and picking up a pint of ice cream).

Off to sleep-let's see how this week goes. Happy Spring!!

[connieg]

I'm finally getting the hang of the journaling thing-I thought I had to post a new topic for every entry, but it seems I just reply to my own journal to add an entry.

My McDougalling is going well. I find it works best if I cook all my food on the weekend and then stick to eating what I make and not trying to go out. I do go out to sushi once a week and usually get avocado in it, but that is my biggest stray from the plan. Today I went to a restaurant I enjoy called Casa de Luz. It is vegan, macrobiotic, and probably some other stuff. There is always soup, salad, and then a plate full of goodness. Sometimes I don't even know what the items are, but they all taste good. Today there was a garbanzo bean spread, beets, kale with a tasty sauce, and some whole grain item. You can get a second serving of everything (although I was satisfied with just one serving today) and it costs only 12 bucks.

I am fitting into some clothes that were pretty snug just 2 months ago, so that is a nice bonus.

I do wish I had a few friends who were following the McDougall plan. My friends and family are supportive of what I'm doing so I consider myself lucky in that regard. It is just difficult to see people I care about eating stuff that they think is healthy but that I know is not good for them. I do a little bit of education here and there, but I find that I'm not very good at explaining the science behind what I'm doing. I personally understand it and it makes sense to me, but I just can't communicate it effectively. I do have one friend who lives in another state who is very open to what I'm doing. She is coming to visit for a week and is excited to join me in healthy eating and cooking for the time she is here.

[connieg]

All continues to go well. I have recently discovered pea soup, which I can't seem to get enough of-it is insanely delicious.

I'm going out of town this weekend to Blanco, TX. It might as well be called BBQ, TX, so I anticipate some struggles with being able to eat well. I plan to take a cooler with my own food, but not sure if the hotel even has a microwave.

I've been experiencing restless and somewhat itchy skin at night when I'm trying to go to sleep. It doesn't rise to the level of actual bumps on the skin and I'm hesitant to label it an allergy since it hasn't been an issue in the past. I wonder if it could be the weight loss process itself. Another possibility is that I'm tapering off of antidepressants and am down to a very low does. That may be making me restless and a little itchy, too. I've searched for other topics on this but haven't found any so may post my own just to see if anyone else has experienced this.

[connieg]

I haven't been using the journal lately, but wanted to get in an update on my progress. 2 weeks ago I had a friend visiting from out of town. I stuck to the plan 75% of the time. It's not that I ate any meat or dairy, but I did eat more fat than the plan allows. The great news is that I didn't gain any weight. We ate out 3 times and I had a large bowl of popcorn one night.

Last week I was back on plan full force. It was a rough week emotionally. I was experiencing some anxiety, which is the one thing that makes me lose my appetite. Things got resolved and I lost five lbs. I am now in One-derland, which is so exciting to me. I'm not that far from where I was when I went off the program about a year ago and started gaining weight again. The biggest daily reward is how beautifully my clothes are fitting. I don't have to buy any new clothes yet, b/c I still have enough from when I was this weight before.

In two weeks I'm taking a weeklong trip to visit family and friends. Most of them are supportive to the point of joining me in my healthy eating during my visit. There will be a couple of difficult pieces to the trip. One is the travel itself. I booked a non-stop flight and I will bring some food with me on the plane. The other is that we are going to a really fancy buffet brunch one day. I can play this two ways. One is to just have it be a splurge meal and the other is to play it straight. On the one hand I'd like to get much closer to my goal weight before deviating from the plan. However (other hand), this is seriously a flippin' insane buffet and I would like to be able to go off plan once a quarter (or less) and not have it destroy me entirely.

[connieg]

It's been awhile since I've written, so here's an update. Overall I have been doing well on the plan, but I hit a big snag last week when I went to visit family and friends on East Coast. I could have been successful and stayed on track, but I didn't and I gained 9 pounds. The frustrating thing is that it takes me a month to lose 9 pounds and only 7 days to gain it. The other frustrating thing is that it feels like starting over just b/c of the adjustment my taste buds have to make. I started back on the plan on Sunday and have been perfect since then. I feel like an addict when it comes to food. I know what is good and healthy and I know that it tastes good to me when I am consistent, but I am so all-or-nothing. I knew I was going to go off plan for part of one meal. We went to this very nice restaurant for a buffet breakfast. I loaded up on salad and veggies and some other carbs first. It was not McDougall style, b/c there was a lot of oil, but at least it wasn't crazy. I did it this way b/c I didn't want to go in really hungry and then eat all the SAD foods that would hit me like a dose of heroin after being clean for awhile. Anyway, I then proceeded to eat other foods that are not healthy at all. Had I stopped with just the one meal slip I probably wouldn't have gained more than a pound that whole week, but instead I went into some place in my rationalizing brain that said, "This is a stressful trip; there are many temptations; you feel deprived; just clean up the mess when you get home." I can tell you that when I got home I felt like I had put on all 40+ lbs I had lost. In reality, I had gained 9 physical lbs and an additional 30 lbs of shame and self-disappointment. I want to be perfect at this-not only for myself, but also for the animals who I don't want to be a party to abusing, and also for all the naysayers who question and doubt the plan. I have many supportive people in my life, but there are a few who are not.

Another thing that was difficult about this trip was that my mom is elderly and is showing signs of increasing short term memory loss. It is so sad and I do not know how to handle the grief, helplessness I feel. One thing my mom and I (and whole family) have always shared is restaurant meals. Now it feels like that is one of her few pleasures and I find it difficult to share with her while staying on the path I want to be on. I did find vegan/veg restaurants in her area and we went to one of them twice. She enjoyed it and so did I.

The last time I strayed from the McDougall Plan (for 10 months AND gained back almost all the weight I'd lost) was a little over a year ago during a weeklong trip to visit my mom. I do NOT want that to happen this time, but I'm definitely feeling vulnerable. There are a few other things going on, which I'll elaborate on in a moment. I hate not feeling strong and in control.

Other factors affecting me right now: am temporarily assigned to a job at work that I don't enjoy. The good news is that it is temporary and I will be able to return to my old job, which I love. The bad news is that the hiring process (to fill the position I'm covering) is long and uncertain, so I don't have a target date for when I'll be back. The good news (last one, I promise) is that I've been in this position for about 8 months and have managed to be on plan the latter half of that, even though I'm not happy in this position.

Final factor: I have been on an antidepressant for many years (15+ years). I have wanted to get off of them, but was advised against it by doctors, psychiatrists, etc. I believed that they knew what they were talking about and didn't fight it. I also had some fear that discontinuing the medication would cause me to become depressed and anxious again. And, the major deciding factor was the withdrawal/discontinuation symptoms I experienced when I even missed one day of the med (Effexor XR). Those symptoms were awful. Over the past year I have done a lot of reading on how to safely discontinue antidepressants. I worked with my doctor (who was NOT supportive-he said, "Why don't you just stay on this low dose for the rest of your life? It doesn't hurt anything") who finally followed my wishes and called in a liquid suspension of the medication so that I could taper off it super-gradually. I did this and also read a great book (I think the title is The Antidepressant Solution by Dr. Glenmullen) that guided me through what to expect and so on. On 4/22 I took my last dose. As I tapered off the medication I experienced some of the discontinuation symptoms, but not the most debilitating ones. I experienced some anxiety, which would've freaked me out if I hadn't read that psychiatric symptoms can accompany the physical symptoms and do not necessarily indicate a return of the depression. With all that said, I am glad that I stopped taking the medication, but I am still experiencing some symptoms that are a little bit troubling and impact my quality of life. I would not describe these symptoms as debilitating and my hope is that they will eventually dissipate completely. However, they do make me feel somewhat vulnerable. The symptoms include insomnia (I can be super tired, but it will still take me at least 2 hours to fall asleep), restlessness, mild anxiety, tearfulness (these latter two are not constant, but lurking in the background at times), and I think that's it.

So that's the whole update. Here is a look at my strategy for getting back on track: power thru the first few weeks while the taste buds adjust to loving this plan again; for lunch and dinner start with a salad and a vegetable first before diving into the concentrated carb. Make an effort to get out and get some exercise, even if it is only a 30 minute walk-this may help with some of the anxiety. Finally, don't be too hard on myself for the week of reckless abandon-focus on the future.

[connieg]

5/29/11

It's a great day! I got on the scale for my weekly weigh in and lost 8 lbs!! I can hardly believe it. I do understand that a lot of that is water weight, b/c I had gotten off plan for a week and put on 9 lbs. However, it is just nice that maybe it won't take a full month to lose what I gained. I also did a really nice job this week of staying on plan and eating more servings of raw plant foods every day.

I went to see Forks Over Knives last night and it was fabulous. I was unable to resist getting popcorn, but I got a kid size and drank water with it.

Today I went for a 3 mile hike. Great start to the week.

[burgh_grl]

5/29/11

It's a great day! I got on the scale for my weekly weigh in and lost 8 lbs!!Ohhhh, happy day for sure!! Great going Connieg! I can hardly believe it.really!! thts HUGE! I do understand that a lot of that is water weight,Hey, i'd take it!! b/c I had gotten off plan for a week and put on 9 lbs.GULP. However, it is just nice that maybe it won't take a full month to lose what I gained. I also did a really nice job this week of staying on plan and eating more servings of raw plant foods every day.ahhh, tht's the way to do it. we're learning as we go arent we? YEP..i so agree. Hey, thanks much for the breakfast recipe you sent to Ben...i loved it too and have already forwarded it to my mcd. buddy. You just never know who's reading your stuff and who is really HAPPY to have found something so useful in it. MEEEE... I see you live in Austin! I've heard great things about it there. I used to live in colo. springs, but never got there. Now..in Orlando Fla. where it's BLOODY hot. is it humid in Austin? Sure tis here...big time.
Well, thanks again...i'm sure you made Ben's day with that idea and support!! Keep on girl...GREAT week!!

I went to see Forks Over Knives last night and it was fabulous. I was unable to resist getting popcorn, but I got a kid size and drank water with it.

Today I went for a 3 mile hike. Great start to the week.

[connieg]

Thanks for your comments, burgh_grl! I am definitely learning as I go. I wish I had time to read through every journal and all the other posts-there are some real gems of info throughout the site..I just read a thread on banana ice cream that I'm excited to try.

Austin is quite hot already (96 today, I think), but not so high on humidity. I love this city, my job, the cost of living, friends, but if I could import some rainfall, the east coast beaches, and some mountains within a couple of hours I'd be living the dream.

Thanks again for checking out my journal and taking the time to comment!!

[burgh_grl]

Thanks for your comments, burgh_grl! I am definitely learning as I go. the BEST journey...of all! I wish I had time to read through every journal and all the other posts-there are some real gems of info throughout the site..I just read a thread on banana ice cream that I'm excited to try.ohhh, i spend a crzy amt of time on this board...but it's well worth it. What a FREE education!! and..the banana "ice cream" is outrageous...keep it rare though

Austin is quite hot already (96 today, I think), but not so high on humidity.WOw..tht's awesome. I love this city, my job, the cost of living, friends, but if I could import some rainfall, the east coast beaches, and some mountains within a couple of hours I'd be living the dream. ohh boy...you sound like Me. there's no "perfect" is there? Always...something more we want!

Thanks again for checking out my journal and taking the time to comment!!you betcha...it's what it's all about. We're just adding on to a community of tremendous, invaluable support. BRAVO!!!

[connieg]

Been a very rough week with the reemergence of depression. I think (very cautious optimism here) that the fog may be lifting as of today. For all of last week and a few days prior I have felt profoundly sad and physically weak. Not sure if I wrote about this already, but I tapered off of my antidepressant medication, taking the last dose on 4/22/11. I was on the medication for about 15 years. I've been experiencing insomnia and anxiety, both of which were uncomfortable but tolerable. I cannot sustain feeling depressed for too long, though. It made me feel so frustrated, b/c I feel like I'm doing everything I can to be successful as far as diet is concerned so that I shouldn't be feeling depressed. I wanted to counteract it with exercise, but was just so physically weak-it was bizarre. It felt like I was dehydrated, except that I knew I wasn't. I did take daily walks, but they were not brisk b/c of the weakness. Anyway, I made an appointment with a doctor, who is vegan herself and recommends that patients follow the McDougall plan. I've never been to her before, but I figure that she won't be too quick to put me back on antidepressants. I realize that that may be the end result, but I want a fighting chance without them. I'm glad that today was better than yesterday, including less lethargy, so maybe the last week and a half was just a fluke.

I also wanted to eat all the time last week. I stayed on plan, but probably ate more than I normally would, resulting in only a 1 lb weight loss.

I made that awesome potato scramble from the most recent newsletter. It is seriously delicious and I highly recommend it. Also did a 3 mile walk today and yesterday. Yesterday's pace was very slow due to the lethargy, but today's was a bit smarter. Here's hoping Monday doesn't shut me down!

[burgh_grl]

Been a very rough week with the reemergence of depression. ahhhh geeze, we just don't need tht! I think (very cautious optimism here) that the fog may be lifting as of today.Reason to be hopeful...each day offers new hope! For all of last week and a few days prior I have felt profoundly sad and physically weak. Not sure if I wrote about this already, but I tapered off of my antidepressant medication, taking the last dose on 4/22/11. ok...i've had some exp. w/tht..took it for 7 yrs..coming off is a journey. for some time, a few months, it ws a lil up n down. I was on the medication for about 15 years.it's gonna take TIME but hallelujah...you're off now. I've been experiencing insomnia and anxiety, both of which were uncomfortable but tolerable.there ya go...exactly the point. I cannot sustain feeling depressed for too long, though.i undrstnd tht. It made me feel so frustrated, b/c I feel like I'm doing everything I can to be successful as far as diet is concerned so that I shouldn't be feeling depressed. it's just the chemicals... I wanted to counteract it with exercise, but was just so physically weak-it was bizarre.every day can't, wont be PERFECT. do wht you CAN, each day, tht's all. It felt like I was dehydrated, except that I knew I wasn't. I did take daily walks, but they were not brisk b/c of the weakness.but they were SOMEthing, eh? Anyway, I made an appointment with a doctor, who is vegan herself and recommends that patients follow the McDougall plan.sounds good! I've never been to her before, but I figure that she won't be too quick to put me back on antidepressants.nor should you accept that option. my gosh, it's TOO difficult to come OFF them, unless you ABSOLUTELY MUST. I realize that that may be the end result, but I want a fighting chance without them.well of course you do...sure. I'm glad that today was better than yesterday, including less lethargy, so maybe the last week and a half was just a fluke."today was better than yesterday" and so it is in real, non medicated life, as I've learned. It's an adjustment, for a good while, i'm finally there, and yes, one day is better than another. they arent all good, but...tht's just life. ]

I also wanted to eat all the time last week. I stayed on plan, but probably ate more than I normally would, resulting in only a 1 lb weight loss.[b]i've had times like that, but still, one pound, is one pound!

I made that awesome potato scramble from the most recent newsletter. It is seriously delicious and I highly recommend it.for some reason, i'm not getting the newsletters. i'll look for it though. Also did a 3 mile walk today and yesterday. Yesterday's pace was very slow due to the lethargy, but today's was a bit smarter.one at a time... Here's hoping Monday doesn't shut me down!find the good in it...there's bound to be some!!

[StarchBeet]

HI Connie. Did you go to Costa Rica last year in July?

Julie