Jubilee's Journey

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Re: Jubilee's Journey

Postby TominTN » Fri Mar 18, 2011 8:32 pm

Hi, Jubilee.

Several times in recent posts, you said, "I don't know why I did it."

In my own case, I have noticed that when my life is full of stress ( like it sounds like yours has been recently), my behavior regresses. I do things that may have once been effective coping strategies but no longer are -- using food for comfort, overreacting, trying to control everyone and everything around me, procrastinating, ignoring issues that need dealing with, etc.

It may be because those ancient behaviors feel so familiar, it may be because of memories of them having "worked" (sort of) in the past, it may be for some other reason, but I don't think the why is really all that important.

What I find most helpful is simply awareness that that pattern is a common one for me. So when it starts happening (yet again), I can say, "hm... This looks familiar. Yes, I've seen this before. I know this dance." And if I pay attention and notice the signposts, eventually I can short circuit that old programming that keeps running me into the swamp and stay on solid ground. (Not that I'm always successful, but knowing that it's a deeply entrenched pattern helps me remember to be gentle with myself.)
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Re: Jubilee's Journey

Postby Jubilee » Fri Mar 18, 2011 10:26 pm

"awareness of the problem....notice the signposts...short circuit the programming...be gentle with myself"

Wow, Tom. That's so true. And the idea that it's ok to be gentle with myself is sort of a new one. I have enough critics in my life not to be my own worst one. Thank you for taking time to put down those thoughts. I'm going to re-read them from time to time.

RAS, thank you for asking about my dd. Yes, she's back at work. It really wasn't an option not to, although she can only do clinic appointments until her arm heals enough to safely deliver babies again. Actually, she had to go back last Mon. and the surgery was only Thur. before that, so not much time off. She's already exercising the arm a lot (hopefully not TOO MUCH).

And, I know exactly what you mean about not doing a taste. I'm the same way. I'm sort of an all or nothing person in those matters. So, I just have to put my "all" into McDougalling! :-)

Well, I'd better get to bed. I'm hoping to wake up without this cough any longer. I was coughing less today, and got my appetite back, so hopefully this'll end soon.

Oh, and today while I was sitting around feeling crummy, I watched some McDougall DVDs. Great encouragement there!

Blessings to each of you,
Jubilee
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Re: Jubilee's Journey

Postby Jubilee » Mon Mar 21, 2011 6:13 pm

I'm finally over this sickness. Finally!!

I lost a couple more pounds. Yay.

I walked around the block today, and boy am I weak! I was breathing heavy, had knee and toe pain, and that was only in one trip around the block! Goodness, this is pitiful! I have to get moving now, because I'm signed up for a 5k in a month! So, that's the motivation I need, hopefully. The 5k is one that I did before, and am hoping to beat my old time (which was embarassingly slow, so that shouldn't be hard). Having the weight coming off should be helping but I'm obviously long overdue for more exercise. I was a little shocked at how poorly I did on my walk. Ok, well, that means there's no where to go but UP! I'm climbing out of this hole even if it's only a cm at a time!!!

Since Christmas, I've lost 23 pounds! That means I've lost almost 1/3 of what I need to lose to be at a normal BMI. And since I haven't been at that weight in about 35 years, it's hard to imagine getting there, but I'm going to give it all I can.

Today's food:
Bk- green smoothie
Ln- veggie salad with beans and ff raspberry vinagrette dressing, plus fresh fruit, all from the salad bar at the grocery store. (I'm pleased that I had no trouble resisting the puddings, mayo drowned salads, ham and cheese, deserts, etc. Thanks be to God!)
Dn- Chickpea salad

Blessings,
Jubilee
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Re: Jubilee's Journey

Postby Jubilee » Thu Mar 24, 2011 8:42 pm

I'm headed out of town for a weekend Bible Quiz tournament that my dds and I will help with. I'm pretty nervous about my eating because trips are notoriously bad for me. We'll be staying in a motel, rather than with friends or relatives, so that should help. Of course my dds don't eat McDougall, so it'll be challenging that way.

I have breakfast packed, lunch planned (potatoes cooked in the microwave), and hopefully we can find somewhere to get salad for dinner. I also made the chewy granola bar recipe on the recipes forum, for car snacks. There is a Whole Foods near where we'll be, so that might be the best option for salad for dinner. It's kind of a treat to go there since we don't have a single WF in our state (that I know of). Still, even there, I can fall into the "treat myself" mindset, especially when tired.

I've been holding on weight this week- bouncing up and down a pound, and for some reason I'm craving bad foods though I haven't actually given in to them, other than to finish off the soyrizo that's been in the fridge for some time. Good riddance.

I'm trying to remember Tom's plan, to help me through these next few days- "awareness of the problem....notice the signposts...short circuit the programming...be gentle with myself"

To celebrate being at my lowest weight since 2006, and to treat myself in a non-food way, I ordered a couple pairs of hi-tech socks for running. I'm trying to get ready for a 5k next month. I'm pitifully out of shape, and this week's workout was embaresing to say the least, but it's a start...

Blessings to all,
Jubilee
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Re: Jubilee's Journey

Postby ron_dem » Fri Mar 25, 2011 5:03 am

"awareness of the problem......be gentle with myself"
These are two items that jumped out at me, especially the last one.
You will do well on the 5kM run I'm sure. You mentioned being out of shape, that's part of the journey, that's "awareness" You got uhealthy and out of shape over night and so don't expect to get back in shape over night but taking that first walk around the block is a huge step in the right direction and those walks will get easier. So keep training and even if you don't beat your old time, (I'm sure you will) the fact that you are doing the 5kM still makes you a winner. Go get 'em!
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Re: Jubilee's Journey

Postby TominTN » Fri Mar 25, 2011 5:33 am

I'm thinking of you and rooting for you, Jubilee.
Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're probably right.

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Re: Jubilee's Journey

Postby bunsofaluminum » Fri Mar 25, 2011 7:07 am

Hi Jubilee! woo hoo! You're back :D :D :D

do hit the journals often. It always helps me...(((HUG))) you can do it, sugah!

blessings, Heidi
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Re: Jubilee's Journey

Postby carollynne » Sun Mar 27, 2011 4:13 am

You can do this, and I loved Tom's advice about the signposts and so on. So true for me as well.
I have lost about 60 lbs and never thought I'd be in the 150s ever again. cured my NAFLD!! Feel great!! Wt loss is so good for the knees and back, ankle, that I know I will never start back to the SAD way of eating again.
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Re: Jubilee's Journey

Postby woods38 » Sun Mar 27, 2011 6:11 am

Since Christmas, I've lost 23 pounds! That means I've lost almost 1/3 of what I need to lose to be at a normal BMI. And since I haven't been at that weight in about 35 years, it's hard to imagine getting there, but I'm going to give it all I can.


Wow! That's amazing weight loss! Good for you!
Keep up with the exercise. You will be amazed at what consistency can do for your fitness level.You will get stronger and fitter faster than you think you can. I started exercising consistently at the beginning of March and I am doing so much more than I could have imagined myself doing at the beginning. Walking up the stairs was hard at first. I had to hold the handrail and I was out of breath at the top. Now, I feel strong walking up and it doesn't seem hard at all. You be walking blocks and blocks before you know it if you keep at it. It's a challenge but you can do it!
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Re: Jubilee's Journey

Postby Jubilee » Mon Mar 28, 2011 5:44 pm

I GOT MY FIRST COMPLIMENT!!!!! WOOO HOOOO!

So, I went to an annual Bible Quiz tournament this past weekend, where we see friends that we normally only see at these events- once or twice a year. I hadn't seen this friend since last June, or possibly, last March. And her first words were- "WOW! You look 10 years younger!" She didn't say, "I can tell you lost weight", or "I see you got a haircut (the first one in 15 years)", or anything like that. Just that I look younger.

We were in a crowded lobby, and I didn't go into details, but I have to say, it was the highlight of my day!!! Guess that shows how prideful I am, but it honestly made my day. I've told several friends that I've lost weight, and they are encouraging, but I'm surprised that no one seems to have really said anything unprompted. Oh well, it's good enough to know it myself. Still I was *so* happy for the recognition. It's finally showing.

And, when I got home, I found that my dh who hadn't gone with us, had stocked my favorite flavor of ice cream in the freezer, even though it's not his favorite. So, the struggle continues on the homefront.

Originally the weekend was to be a girls trip with my adult daughters. Besides the day of quizzing, we would have car time together, and 2 nights in a motel. The morning we were to leave, I got an email that one of the Bible Quiz teams from our area lost their ride due to another family having illness issues. So, we ended up taking 4 teens to the tournament and had none of our planned time together. The Lord's plans were different than ours, so I'm fine with that. The disappointment was that it's very hard for my daughters and I all to get time off on the same weekend, and this probably won't happen again.

And, with all the added stress of having another family along, I didn't eat as well as I'd hoped. There were 2 teen boys, both over 6 feet tall. When I asked what they wanted for dinner, they both said, "MEAT!" Of course, they know nothing about McD, so I did what I could for them. We ended up at a pizza place at 8 p.m. with 16 people, after a long day of competitions, and that's where my downfall came. I didn't order anything for myself because there were really no healthy options, but then I started nibbling on pizza. And, as always, it snowballed...

And, in keeping with being gentle to myself, I'm not looking back. Today is a new day (even if there is mint choc. ice cream screaming at me from the freezer). I'm back on track and staying there.

Glad to be home, and reading the encouraging posts on this discussion board. :-) Thank you Tom, Ron, Buns, Carollyne, and Woods. I so appreciate your cheering me on!

Jubilee
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Re: Jubilee's Journey

Postby TominTN » Mon Mar 28, 2011 6:58 pm

About twenty years ago, I worked for Weight Watchers for about a year. During that time, there was a story that circulated among the meeting leaders about an experience that one of them had.

It seems he really liked sweet potato pies. He knew this was a trigger food for him and did what he could to avoid them in the effort to stay on his diet. Every time he visited his mother, though, she would have two or three pies baked and ready for him when he arrived.

The first time it happened, he thanked her for her thoughtfulness and explained that baking pies for him wasn't really helpful and he'd appreciate if she didn't do that in the future. He didn't eat them and didn't take them with him when he left.

Well, the next time he arrived for a visit, she had a couple of sweet potato pies waiting for him. Again, he thanked her for her thoughtfulness and explained how important it was to him to stick with his diet and again, asked her to not bake him pies in the future. Again, he declined to eat any or take them with him on departing.

On the third visit, she had "his favorite" sweet potato pies baked and waiting for him. He didn't say a word, but picked them up and threw them, one by one, into the trash while she watched. She didn't bake him any more sweet potato pies.

Please don't take this as advice. It's a story that came to mind when I read about your freezer being stocked with your favorite ice cream by a family member. This is how one person responded to a family member trying to give him food he didn't want. Lots of different responses are possible. I'm not even sure I'm remembering and telling the story exactly the way I heard it. I trust that you'll find the response that feels appropriate and works for you.
Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're probably right.

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Re: Jubilee's Journey

Postby bunsofaluminum » Tue Mar 29, 2011 6:51 am

I wonder why our loved ones DO sometimes try to sabotage our efforts? I read in the Lounge about family issues and people's relationships being strained because of it, and count myself as blessed beyond measure that my family accepts what I'm doing, (they don't follow me there, but they do accept me where I am) and do everything they can to make it doable for me at get togethers. I also don't get too freaky,. For instance, when my mom put on a St Pat's day feast, I ate the veggies even though they'd cooked in the same pot as the meat.

and! I don't have a DH who stocks fat bombs for me to try and avoid. :\

Keep on going, sistah! You're doing great!
JUST DON'T EAT IT

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The rest is an industry looking to make a buck off my poor health
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Re: Jubilee's Journey

Postby Jubilee » Fri Apr 01, 2011 7:56 am

Well, I've got my eating back in hand since last weekend's trip. Thank you Buns, and TominTN for the sympathy and encouragement. :-) There's really nothing I can say about my dh stocking landmines in the kitchen. I just have to deal with it, but it helps to know that someone else gets it that it's not nice.

Yesterday I got a call that my Grandma is in the hospital with various issues, and I need to go spend the 4-5 helping her so her other caregiver has some time off. She lives about 7 hours away so it's going to be a long car trip today after I get off work. I'm glad to help, but there are really stressful extended family issues to deal with whenever I go there, so it's always hard.

Back on the road again...

I'm taking my own food, but I have yet to have a totally successful trip as far as sticking to my eating goals, so I'm nervous. I'm reading a book recommended in the Religious forum which is also encouraging me- Made to Crave. I'll try to keep my focus on that, and pick up the book to read, instead of reaching for treats when I have the urge. I've been at the same wt. for 2+ weeks now because of last weekend's trip already. It'd sure be nice to come home to a loss for a change.

I'll try to get online when possible, but of course, my 92yo Grandma has never even seen the internet, let alone have any kind of account in her home where I'll be staying. :-)

Hang in there everyone! This journey is so worth it- and most of the time, it's FUN!

Blessings,
Jubilee
Last edited by Jubilee on Tue Jul 05, 2011 8:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Jubilee's Journey

Postby TominTN » Sun Apr 03, 2011 4:21 pm

Thinking of you... Hope things are going well...
Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're probably right.

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Re: Jubilee's Journey

Postby Jubilee » Sat Apr 16, 2011 8:14 am

Well, I'm back. Again.

I ended up spending nearly a week at my Grandma's out of state. She has liver cancer and they're guessing she has 4-6 months left. She's been moved into a nursing home where she will eventually receive hospice services. It was an emotional visit, and stressful of course. I spent most of the day sitting with her in the hospital, then looking forward to going out for a meal break, where I had to get fast food or restaurant meals. And, in short, that combination of stress, and not eating at home, just doesn't work well for me.

Then when I got home we had houseguests for nearly a week as well.

Needless to say, my eating hasn't been good these 2 weeks. I even gained some back, and though it's frustrating that I keep taking two steps forward, and one step backward, I'm not giving up. The net is forward. So, here I am with my tail between my legs, trying to regain my momentum yet again.

Next weekend is the 5k that I've been looking forward to for months. I'm hoping that having lost some weight will make it more do-able. I walked/jogged that distance a couple of times this week around my neighborhood. Even though it was very slow, the main difference I noted from the last time I tried this (last fall), is that I wasn't in agony the next day! No knee, leg, feet pain beyond the actual time I was walking. So, I'm counting that as progress. I got an elastic knee brace thing that really helps during the walk too.

My brother is coming from Colorado to do the 5k with me, which is a blessing. He's the only one in my family who supports what I'm doing and has been very encouraging. He's actually a really top athlete, so he'll about have to crawl to keep up with my pace, but I feel so honored that he's willing to do this just for me.

Today we're having a spring snow, so I'm praying that next Sat. will be nice for the 5k.

Now, I'm off to make a pot of potato soup, and a pot of chili to get me through the next few days. Having something already made really, really helps.

Blessings to you all,
Jubilee
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