MMXI = 2011

[Veg]

Feb 1- reaffirming my commitment to myself this year.

I'm 41 lbs away from my goal.
Measurements 44, 38, 48

This month potatoes are my staple. I commit to myself to do an hour of exercise at least 4 times a week and at 3 times a week minimum.

[kirstykay]

MMXI- Sounds good! There is power in a promise! You'll do it!

[Veg]

The reason I haven't been journaling lately is because I'm experiencing a bout of depression. I'm distracted, sad, disappointed, frustrated, having a brain fog and generally moody. I can't seem to get organized or motivated. If I don't have to go to work I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling asking myself what do I really want out of life. I can't seem to figure it out or how to get there. I don't want to do anything and not much inspires me or phases me. I'm not sure what got me to this place. It could be chemical. Anyways it's hard to shake and I've been having sneezing allergies a lot. I thought I'd return here and write what's in my cart from my last shopping trip to still keep track. It didn't seem like much and I didn't have a list. I bought what I thought I might need and was bored with my choices. This depression feels like the life was sucked out of me recently.

What's In My Cart
4 oz can of green chili's: $ .78
3 quarts of V8 juice: $5.58
3 cans of Hunt's Spaghetti sauce: $2.98
Dressing bread we use as croutons: $1.98
Asparagus: $2.04
Green Bell Pepper: $ .86
Green Onion: $ .78
4pk Romaine Hearts: $1.98
10lb bag potatoes: $2.48
4.32 lb bag of Lentils: $3.72

I finally went to the bulk section and bought a bag of lentils I scooped from the bins. It seems every week I'm buying the prepackaged bag of lentils only to go back for another bag during the week. So I finally remembered to take advantage of the bulk section and stored them in mason jars in the pantry. It's seems nice as we eat a lot of lentils as well as potatoes.

[lydia]

Noticed your 4 lg bag of lentils and I wondered if you have a favorite recipe or thing to do with lentils. I have tried a few recipes but haven't really liked what I made. ...

[Veg]

It's a really simple one that my family and I love and eat lots of.

You put a layer of already cooked brown rice in the bottom of a bowl. Then on top of that a layer of already cooked lentils in the bowl. Then you add soy sauce to taste. On top of that you put a layer of fresh crisp lettuce and chopped green onions. Then you squeeze fresh lemon on top of that to taste.

The combination of the warm rice and lentils with soy sauce or shoyu mixed in with the cool crisp lettuce and chopped green onions and a zing of citrus in the lemon juice give this delicious wholesome flavor that you come to crave for a sense of balance and well being.

I think I've seen it on here before but I'll take pictures sometime when I make the recipe again.

[raimel80]

I've been following your journal. I'm sorry you are in a funk It happens though. Hopefully its passes soon for you. Life, emotions, food- they can be cyclic. I am rooting for you!!!

[Veg]

Thanks Melissa. I'm sitting here starving. In the blitz to work today I forgot to bring a lunch or a wallet and my electronic pass to unlock the doors to get into the building. I haven't done that in awhile. For a moment there at work I was staring at the calendars and realized it's February and nobody has changed them. That's about how I feel right now; still stuck back in January. Of course with February you blink and you'll miss it. There was this sense of liberation as I tore the little January calendar off of each calendar around me.

I'm catching up on journals during my lunch break. Something about coming back here and reading other peoples progress gives me a positive feeling to keep on. Last night I started doing chores for the first time in a few days. I've been frustrated because of my time management and menu planning and reaching my goals that I set for myself. It seems overwhelming at times. Plus my sleep schedule has been flipping a lot because others in the house are on weird schedules as well. Getting the place a little organized felt somewhat better.

My spouse made a big salad for us at 3 in the morning. Food always tastes better to me when someone else makes it. I really enjoy their salads too. Plus there is something about sitting down and eating with family and having that social time together even if it's in the wee hours and our schedules are all messed up.

[sksamboots]

Sounds like your doing really well. Keep on keepin on

[Veg]

Yesterday I had my first successful day completely McDougall since this year started. Today will be my second fully successful day. I realized my depression was caused by my feelings about my work situation. I went back and forth between anger and sadness and finally I hit determination. I have the power within myself to make the changes to have my happiness again. It will take strict adherence but in 7-8 months I will be a new person and they won't be looking at me the same way as they do now.

Yesterday's Food: Oatmeal, a V8, lots of Water, Baked Potatoes with BBQ sauce sparingly, Vegetarian chili.

Today's food is basically the same. I've also printed out a daily calendar for my schedule to have better time management and menu planning. I haven't micromanged myself like this since graduating college but it seems like a good plan to go back to in order to develop healthy habits again. Plus, I love reaching my goals.

That's another thing. I've broken my goals down into smaller goals. I'm going 10 lbs at a time of strict adherence to feel better about it rather than being overwhelemed with facing a larger goal of weight loss.

This is my year!

[frozenveg]

I realized my depression was caused by my feelings about my work situation. I went back and forth between anger and sadness and finally I hit determination. I have the power within myself to make the changes to have my happiness again.

MMXI, good for you! You have found the key. You have the power within yourself to be happy, to be strong, to be healthy, to be slim. No one else can make you unhappy, even if they mistreat you and insult you. You are happy no matter what! You make the choice, and the world has to live with the choices you make! In other words, don't let them get you down! You are your own!

Good luck and best wishes on this new day for you!

[ron_dem]

M I wouldn't worry people at work who are rude to you. You are doing this for yourself and your own self worth, if they can't or won't take the trouble to see the person that you are, then to heck with them, ( I'm being nice for the board). Keep doing the best you can and keep focussed on your goal(s). In few a years you probably won't remember some of them and by then you will have reached your goal and become the person you want to be. However, remember that there's anything wrong with the person that is you now, only that you are working for improvements. We all want improvements but we have to work hard for them and not let others sway you away from them. Just keep on what you are doing. Cheers

[Veg]

Thank you for the support and advice frozenveg and ron_dem.

Valentine's Day at work they brought loads of cupcakes and chocolates. I did break my streak and have some when I experienced hunger pains. After work we decided to go out to eat at the last minute. It was spontaneous. The first place we went had an hour wait. The second place we went had a 20 minute wait so we put ourselves on the waiting list and checked other places. The other places also had 50-60 minute waits.

So we settled on the lowest wait and were seated pretty quickly with all the other Valentine's. I haven't been on a Valentine's Day date with my spouse in a long time. It was nice to have a look around and see how other couples, whole families, and groups of friends celebrated the day together.

Both of us had a salad first. Then they had a sandwich and I had a spicy pasta dish. It was overly spicy. Way too hot. I didn't know if I had become sensitive to spice or the place made the dish purposefully spicy for SAD eaters because their sense of taste has become desensitized. I could barely taste anything but my mouth on fire. I couldn't eat it all.

On the drive home my guts complained and I didn't know if I was going to throw up or have a problem before I was able to get into the bathroom. I did try to have a soda to calm the spice down but since I haven't had one in awhile it complicated things in my guts as well. It became a dark comedy where I was rushing in the car to the house. I wondered if anyone was ever pulled over because of their urgency to use the bathroom. I was negotiating out-load with my guts for five more minutes to make it to the house. At the house my spouse leapt from the car to unlock the front door and I flew into the bathroom to make it on time. This Valentine's Day is one I won't forget. Next year I'm doing a McDougall dinner at home. I must remember spicy isn't for me anymore.

The day after Valentine's Day I was compliant again. Today I was mostly compliant making McDougall dishes which the family ate all up. I was making them to have leftovers but to my surprise they were all gone within an hour. They had complained about the food I made because of the garlic in it and then they went and ate it all up. I had a big laugh at that discovery for several long minutes. The family must have thought I 'd lost my mind in the kitchen. I guess it is time for another trip to the store. Tonight I had "the bad for me" microwave popcorn when we all sat down to watch a movie in the family room. Other than that it was a successful day.

I'm a bit frustrated with the scale not moving yet. I know I shouldn't weigh daily and it takes time. It seems to be stuck at this weight since January and between a four lbs range. I'm so close to the the next range of tens. Being strictly compliant is challenging when I get crazy cravings for things I shouldn't have and I also have been experiencing hunger. I need to bring proper snacks so I don't give in at work and eat from the vending machine. I've been really good about giving that up these last few weeks but I traded it for hunger pains which aren't good either. I don't see anyway to make any of these experiences much better except to push through it with determination and remember to bring something healthy to snack on for when I need it.

Lately I've been reminded that I'm also doing this for health reasons as I realize my age. I've seen the reports lately that strokes are up in the last few years. It bothers me. They also put in a bio-hazard needle dispenser in the bathroom at my work and I wondered if somebody was diabetic now. I worry about getting to that place in my life with a family history of it. Then I watched the video of the youthful blond female reporter at the grammys who seems in good health break down live on camera and start speaking gibberish. Again I was reminded of the stroke thing in the news. Health concerns are up for me and I better take this change seriously.

[Veg]

My spouse is making a large salad for us right now. We went to the store and bought the essentials. I told my spouse I'd prefer if they didn't buy soda and ice cream. They said they'd give me one of the two things and not buy the ice cream now but that it will take some time for them to stop the soda.

Prices are going up!

What's in My Cart

10 lbs bag of potatoes: $2.48
Soda: $ .78
Soda: $ .78
12 pk hogies: $2.98
4 pk Romaine Hearts: $1.98
2.33 lbs bananas: $1.03
1.33 lbs Roma Tomatoes: $2.63
.55 lbs Red Onions: $ .69

[afreespirit]

You described the Valentine's fiasco in a hilarious manner and made me laugh, although I am sure it was anything but funny while happening. Probably everyone here has experienced the gut-wrenching consequences of eating off-plan after being on McD for awhile--known as McDougall's Revenge! For McDougallers, alcohol isn't needed to feel "hung-over", just SAD or VAD.

You are so right to be concerned about your health. Don't take it for granted. You can do this and you know what to do.

[Veg]

Happy to help anyone laugh afreespirit. It was a comical situation even for myself. Thank you for the positive support and health validation for the future.