Dr. McD Meets Bill W: 12-steps to total health

[kkrichar]

I feel fantastic! 7 days of MWL adherence and the weight is falling off. Just like everyone who did this before me. I got on the scale this morning and I hit the 50 pound loss mark! I saw some people yesterday I hadn't seen in a few weeks. I got a lot of compliments. It felt good. I ran a route I hadn't run in 2 years. It's a tough route and I have had one injury after another until this January. Anyway the route was still tough but I ran faster than I have ever run it. I have wanted to get this weight off for so long but I just couldn't break my addiction to fat, sugar and salt. I still have at least 35 pounds more to lose but the great thing about this plan and losing weight is you don't have to wait to the end to collect your rewards. You get little rewards all along the way: a compliment from someone you haven't seen in awhile, an improvement in your fitness, a smaller size pants, a little more energy and best of all the freedom from self-loathing and addiction. What I'm happiest about today is the silence in my head. The absence of that whining child in the cookie isle begging for a treat is priceless. Like. My desire for alcohol, I believe this is a daily reprieve that requires action on my part to maintain. I want to hold onto this and I will do whatever it takes to do that. I'm so grateful to have this place to come for help and support.

[RAS]

Yea!!! on the 50 pound weight loss.You go girl.I am doing good too.So far no more cravings.RAS

[kkrichar]

That is fantastic, RAS! I swear no cravings is the greatest gift! I like a nice quiet head. We're really doing this!

[Chile]

Good going! I am eagerly looking forward to the first size drop in my pants. I'm getting there (and the pants are waiting for me in a box tucked on a closet shelf).

Happy to "hear" you are enjoying some silence at last.

[kkrichar]

I feel SO good!!! I really hope it lasts awhile. The weight is easily coming off just like all the people swore it would if I just followed the plan. My energy is good. I'm running a lot and so far I feel like I have the energy I need. I'm also eating until satisfied. I'm not obsessing about food during the day. Day 9 is going well. I had bean and rice tacos on corn tortillas, cherries, banana, and oatmeal. I plan to have a big salad with beans and oranges with 321 dressing in a bit. I'm not eating a lot of green and yellow vegetables right now. I'm trying to adjust to the plan before making tweaks.

I finally made it into the 160s today. I was so excited I wanted to tell every person I have ever known but decided to just tell my McD friends.

Anyhoo, gotta make dinner. Later folks!

[kkrichar]

Day 10.

I still feel good and committed. No cravings. Last night a ran on the treadmill. It was raining here so I decided to do an interval run. I ran faster than my normal pace but for less time (for short repeated intervals). The faster pace is feeling much easier. I can really tell I'm improving.

I had bean and rice tacos for breakfast on corn tortillas and some watermelon.
Lunch will be SNAP and brown rice.
Dinner: salad and potato something (haven't decided yet).

I've been eating only what I make and I'm trying to have a little less variety so I don't throw food away. It's easier to make big batches of things and just have that everyday for awhile and then switch to something else. The grocery bill is already smaller.

Mentally, I feel like I think more clearly. My focus is stronger and I remember small details longer. It seems like I make fewer mistakes at work and I'm working faster. I don't know how much is related to the food alone and how much is simply being happier and having a better attitude. Regardless, it feels good. I'm even coming to work on time!

Speaking of which, I should get back to it!

Have a great day.

[kirstykay]

KELLY!!!!!! I'm sooo excited for you!!!!!!!! I just had a minute to check in on you, and I was THRILLED to see your posts! It's amazing what just doing it will do, isn't it? I am just sooooo happy for your success! Keep it up, girl! We're getting there!

I'm doing well. My weight is sticking right under 200, which is great, but I'm ready to start losing again. I've increased the intensity and consistency of my workouts, and I'm starting to see my body respond. Now I'm getting back to really doing the food, and looking forward to my weight dropping again.

Congrats again, on all your progress!

[kkrichar]

Oh, Kirsty, I miss you so much!!! I was really excited to see a post from you this morning and that you are doing so well. I feel great. I'm on day 12 of MWL compliance. I feel great. Something really does feel different this time.

I attended a work luncheon yesterday. They provided pizza and ice cream. I brought my own lunch and ate it without comment. People are getting used to me, I think.

Today is the last day without rain for a long time so I need to get my long run in after work. I prefer to do my long run on the weekend but it's supposed to be raining and lightening all weekend. I mowed the lawn last night so I'm good to go!

I guess I'll spend the weekend working on indoor projects and reading a good book.

[kkrichar]

OK, so you know how I said I've given up artifical sweeteners this time around and it seems to make a big difference? Well, since giving them up, I have not eaten one of my previously favorite breakfasts (Bob's Red Mill Oat Bran) because I just can't eat it without adding sweetener. Even adding fruit was never sweet enough. Since it's been nearly 2 weeks without sweeteners I decided to give the old oat bran a try this morning. I added blueberries and banana. That's it. It was DELICIOUS!!! Suddenly the fruit provides enough sweetness to satisfy me!! I cannot believe it. I'm very excited about this. I'm happy to have my old friend oat bran back too!

Day 13 going great so far!

[sksamboots]

I've been watching you. You are doing awesome

[talkingmountain]

Kelly, I just finished reading the first few and last few pages of your journal. What an amazing transformation! It's really inspiring. Keep up the good work.

[kkrichar]

Thanks TM and welcome back!

I've been doing good. I was out of town attending my grandmother's funeral. It was in my home town where ne're a low fat morsel can be found. I stayed in the only hotel in town (which has 2 rooms). My cousin and her family stayed in the other room. I brought a ton of food for all of us and that is what we ate. My relatives are not McDougaller's but they are vegetarian and they had nothing else to eat so they willingly ate what I brought. It was well received! It felt so good eating my regular food.

My running is getting better but we are in a heat advisory right now so I'm taking tonight off. Last night I barely made it 3 miles. I was so hot I poured my water over my head instead of drinking it (I drank some). I don't know what I was thinking running in 101 degree temperature. I waited until dark but it was still too hot. I don't have air conditioning so I didn't sleep well either. I'm looking forward to a 3-day weekend to get some rest.

I mentioned before that all my cravings are gone now that I'm following MWL 100%. I wondered how long that would last and it turns out there are exceptions. My regular routine is fine but when I do something (especially the first time) that I associate with poor food choices it brings those thoughts back. This was my first road-trip since I've been on plan. Driving long-distances has always meant "free pass" for me. I can eat whatever I want and as much of it as I want. That includes (but not limited to) fast food drive-through (e.g., mozarella sticks, french fries, cheese burgers), gas station fare (e.g., Cheetos, candy bars, Luncheables) and travelling bring-along food (e.g., trail mix with M&Ms, cashews, chewy granola bars with chocolate chips) and lots and lots of diet soda. I have to say the entire drive to my home town was filled with thoughts of these foods. Fortunately, I drive a hybrid and I could actually make it from my house to the hotel without stopping the car. I REALLY had to use the restroom when I arrived but luckily I didn't not buy any crap. I had the same fight on the way home. I hope this struggle will get easier the more trips I take without giving in but it was an interesting lesson.

OK, back to work (or maybe I'll check-in with a few more journals).

[RAS]

Hi Kk Sorry about your grandmother,how old was she/not that it makes any difference.
Great about bringing food.Sometimes that is the only way.Had a slip up last night,but thats it done/finished.
Yes it is too hot here also to do anything outside.So after I sit here and post away,I'll get off my big but and go to the Y then to a farmers market...Talk to you later. RAS ps.Happy 4th of July.!

[kkrichar]

Thanks RAS, my grandma was almost 90. It was her time. I just hope the McDougall program will give me at least as many years but without all the pain.

I'm going to a BBQ today and I'm already nervous. The scale finally went down this morning after a couple weeks of little movement and I'm terrified the BBQ will take it back! I will bring my own food and try to stick with that. I hate that every social activity and holiday involves so much food. I know it's because I'm still so early in following the plan. I felt this way in early sobriety too. Now, I never feel angry if alcohol is around. I'm never scared before going somewhere alcohol will be and I never consider cancelling because I don't trust myself. I just have to walk through these situations with new behavior until the new behavior feels normal.

Having said that, I'm also very nervous about the upcoming weekend. A very unhealthy and overweight aunt and uncle are coming to visit Friday and Saturday. Food is always an issue with these people. They refuse to change anything about their diets and they complain about their aches and pains and costs of medication and how heavy their sleeping equipment is to carry around. I just need to stay strong and be a good example. If nothing else, they'll get used to the way I eat. Every time I give in to make the situation easier I'm reinforcing their belief that this WOE is not sustainable and that I am willing to compromise. I just don't know what to do when we're 100 miles from my house with no restaurants with McD friendly foods available. My sugar, salt and fat addiction can convince me of just about anything when I'm hungry. Sigh. I just need to think about it more and keep potatoes and bananas in my purse.

I can't wait for the day when I look back and all these fears and struggles are a distant memory. I need to remind myself daily that it will get easier if I stick it out. If I don't compromise, if I don't feed the addiction beast, if I replace old behaviors with new ones, it will get easier. It just takes time and every day I get through is one day closer to this being an easy, natural way to live.

Have a great 4th of July everyone and may McD foods be there to sustain you!

[kkrichar]

Update: the aunt and uncle who were scheduled to visit this weekend arrived last night. I took them to the Farmer's Market to get food for dinner. I said we could swing by the store to pick up a meat entre for them if they wanted but they said they didn't need it. So, I made a MWL dinner and they enjoyed the food. Then, today, a friend/coworker had a birthday lunch at a Mexican restaurant in town. I called ahead to see if they had any beans or rice that were not prepared in oil and they said no. So, I ran to the hospital cafeteria and got a serving of steamed rice and some garbonzo beans and diced tomatoes. Then, I took a couple corn tortillas and microwaved them into chips. I've heard a lot of people talk about that here and it really does work!! They turned out just as crunchy as regular tortilla chips. Anywho, so I put the homemade chips in a baggy in my purse along with a small to-go container with the rice and beans and tomatoes. At the restaurant I ordered corn tortillas, lettuce and salsa and made my own tacos plus I got to snack on chips and salsa before the meal. It was a few more corn tortillas than I would normally eat at one meal but it was super tasty and I really enjoyed the experience.

Not sure what will happen for dinner tonight. Tomorrow the plan is to take my relatives on a Riverboat ride and go to a restaurant that is purported to be "vegan" friendly. I may still bring some fruit and a potato or something in my purse just to be safe. Don't know what will happen for dinner tomorrow night and I think they are leaving bright and early Saturday morning (fingers crossed).

So, I've made it through 2 meals and I have 3 more to go. So far so good!

You know, before I decided to do this plan 100%, one of the exceptions I made was oil in food at restaurants. I felt like it was just too difficult to do and I don't eat out often enough for it to make a difference in my health. Well, the biggest problem for me, I think, is my compulsive overeating. I can't go to a restaurant and have a meal with oil in it without it triggering a weeks long bender. So, it's really not a valid argument for me to make that my health won't be impacted by one meal with a little oil in it. I need to stay away from these things period. It's not about what one TBS of oil will do but what does each exception do for my overall mental and physical well-being. After my lunch experience today I feel like it was worth calling ahead and finding out there were no MWL beans or rice. It wasn't that hard. My friends are getting used to my "weird" behaviors. They laughed when I pulled out the chips, the rice, the tomatoes and the beans from my giant handbag but it was kind of funny. It wasn't a malicious laugh. Even my aunt and uncle just sort of fell in line with me last night because they're getting used to the way I eat and their health has been suffering these past few years. They know the way I eat is healthy. They just don't think they could do it. So, if I make the food they're totally willing to try it. That wasn't always the case but I stuck with this WOE and they got used to it.

I feel really good today. I know I can do this. I know people will respect my choices if I do. If I can't stick to the plan and I'm on it one day and off it the next then other people don't take it seriously and assume I'll make an exception for their event. If I make no exceptions no one will expect one. If no one expects one it makes it harder for me to justify cheating. Cheating and not cheating both create domino effects. Every choice and action builds on the choices and actions before it and eventually you have a habit, good or bad, that's hard to break.

I can't wait until this is second nature for me but I have hope it will be!!!

Happy day everyone!