Slugmom's 2010 Journal

[slugmom]

Someone poke me with a stick, I'm laying curled up in a ball looking dead, here.

Ugh.

I want to come back, Debbie, but I feel like a fraud because ... I WANT to get back on plan, but also feel like I can't count on myself to DO it ... so posting there would be a bunch of hooey ... you know?

I don't know why it's clicked so well sometimes and othertimes not.

I can't seem to get over the hump for even a day.

Anyway, just wanted to say "hey, I'm not dead yet" ...

[willing2believe]

Kim-

Glad your not dead. I've been exactly where you are right now and I feel for you. It was a painful place to live. No real advice just wanted you to know your not alone.

Lisa

[slugmom]

Thank you, Lisa and Debbie, for sticking with me and posting to encourage me I appreciate that

I think I'm doing a little better. I still can't say I'm on plan, but I've been eating better and making plans to be more on plan. Today I've been *nearly* on plan, which is a great improvement.

I'm wrestling a little with trying to decide what I think "works for me" even if it seemed "shot down" when I posted about it once ... I found some granola that is no added fat, but does have almonds and several forms of added sugars. I like it and am willing to eat it with fruit, and it seems like it would fit Dr. McD's original guidelines for choosing a packaged, but I don't know. Maybe I need to find those guidelines again and see how it compares, I know I sometimes water down / over-focus on a certain part of the guidelines to justify something.

Ramble ramble.

Anyway my BIG problem isn't so much the meals, but the snacking at night. We keep claiming we'll eat up the junk and be *done* but then find some excuse to buy more. Tomorrow's excuse is a party for my 13yo son and 6 of his friends, I've let him pick the menu as this is a treat. Next week we go on a trip for a week, so eating well while traveling with a large family will be difficult. If I do a 14 day challenge it would be after we get back, I guess.

I'm exercising well this week, which helps. I don't want to undermine my hard work. I still want to get back to running, but my hip is still iffy

[slugmom]

that's true, granola and fruit at night would be a big step better than potato chips and Doritos and chocolate and a lot less likely to eat way too much, too.

I have done well with air popped popcorn in the past, but it's hard to get back to that with the processed addictive chemicals calling me

I am trying, again, to stay on track today, but with the boy's sleepover I'm not sure if I'll be strong enough ... a lot of party junk in the house right now.

BUT I started the day with exercise and a relatively healthy breakfast (if the granola counts )

[slugmom]

Well, as my absence might indicate, things were NOT going well.

But thanks to Lani's encouragement through the T'appy Holidays program on Lani's site, I'm actually much much closer to back on track. It hasn't been perfect, but I'm exercising a little and eating MUCH better. Haven't lost weight yet, I guess I'm still sabotaging/undermining myself with a little junk, but it IS a lot less junk and I know I can do this.

Soooo ... here I am!

[slugmom]

Oh, wow. It's been almost a year.
I've pretty much given up, although I've had a few short re-starts along the way.

This is really the only way of eating that has ever really helped me, so I don't know why it's so hard to get back on track when I've fallen so hard ....

my weight is higher than ever. My home is, sadly, filled with junk foods which I have bought "for my family"

I'm tired of starting over, but I don't really have any other choice, unless I want to keep gaining and feeling worse.

At this point I'm tired all the time, not exercising, and at the top end of clothes that fit. And those that DO fit I'm not happy with, because I don't like how I look in them.

But I'll be honest and say I don't really have a *plan* ... I know I need to get back to McDougalling, but I just feel blank and unable to think ahead and plan.