Mary's weight loss ramblings

[MaryW]

I'm so proud of myself. There was a lot of Easter candy laying around at work today. All kinds of chocolate eggs with cream and peanut butter fillings. I didn't eat any of them, and I wasn't even tempted! I know I won't always be able to avoid feeling tempted, but it felt good today! I also went to a meeting this evening where cookies were served. I snacked on grapes that were sweet and delicious. Today definitely felt like a victory!

[MaryW]

I thought I would try eating out today. I got steamed broccoli and steamed white rice at a Chinese place. No sauce. I had half for lunch and the other half for dinner. I wish Chinese restaurants had brown rice. All restaurants for that matter! I went to a Chinese place once and saw brown rice on the menu. I was so happy! When my order came, I looked in the box. It was white rice covered in brown gravy! It was brown, all right. But who knows what was in that gravy!!

[MaryW]

One of my coworkers was telling me about her husband today. He's diabetic and about to start dialysis. He's lost a toe. His eyesight is going. And he's only in his 40s! About a year ago, I told her about lowfat vegetarian eating and how it could help his diabetes. I even checked out Neal Barnard's book on diabetes from the library for her. But she just said he would never consider eating that way. But he would rather have amputations and dialysis?!!?!? It's so distressing for me to watch them suffer.

Another coworker told me that if a person worked hard enough, she could lose all the weight she needed to in 2 weeks. I just gaped at her. Does she really believe that?? She's overweight herself. Does she think she could lose 50 pounds or more in 2 weeks? If you ate nothing and ran a marathon every day for 2 weeks, I don't think you could lose 50 pounds. And since most of what you DID lose would be water weight, you would gain some of it back in week 3.

Where do people get some of their ideas?? And people think *I'M* weird.

[MaryW]

A woman brought lunch for everyone at work the other day. She made turkey wraps, and brought macaroni salad and potato chips. I was just going to thank her for her thoughtfulness. I had no plans to eat any of the food, but I wasn't going to tell her that. Not when she went to all of that trouble.

But someone had to speak up and say "Mary can't eat that, she's a vegetarian." So then everyone had to discuss what I could eat and what I couldn't eat. I HATE when people talk about my eating habits. They said things like "She can pull the turkey off the wrap, then eat it. Was there meat in the macaroni salad? She could eat that. I didn't tell them that I wasn't wasn't going to eat any of it. So then the volunteer cook kept asking me what she could make for me. She suggested a grilled cheese with tomato. I tried avoid a direct answer until I realized she was going to show up with a grilled cheese and expect me to eat it! Cheese is definitely a binge food for me. If I ate a grilled cheese out of politeness, it would totally set me off. Her response was "If you don't eat cheese, what do you put on your sandwich?" Well, the answer is, I don't eat sandwiches these days. But if I made a sandwich, hummus and sprouts is my favorite. So that's what I told her. She didn't seem to know what hummus was, so maybe that will keep her busy for a while!

I know people mean well, but their being "nice" is so unhelpful. A woman today brought in a whole bag of candy, cookies, chocolate, soda, etc. "Treating" myself and eating things because they taste good is exactly what got me to 300 pounds!

[janluvs2heel]

Boy, I know just how you feel, Mary. Every time my friends & I are going to get together for a pot luck type lunch, the whole thing is about me & oh, Jan can't eat this & Jan can't eat that. I am like dont worry about me, I usually eat before I go. Sometimes it is embarrassing. I remember at our Christmas party, we had a beautiful homemade veggie soup & salad, homemade bread. All McDougall legal as the lady that made it had talked to me about it before. Then came dessert, another lady brings out some kind of chocolate cheesecake, she had made. I was not going to eat any, but she put a plate in front of me but before I had a chance to say no thank you, grabbed up the plate & started making a big deal, oh, there are eggs, you can't have eggs & on & on. It was so embarrassing. I wanted to smack her!!!
But good for you that you stuck to your guns. Glad to see you doing so well!!

Jan

[woods38]

I know how you feel too. Between trying to change my diet to starch based and my food allergies I hate going to family functions where my MIL tries so hard to give me food that I'm not allergic to but then I don't want to eat it because it's not on the McDougall plan. My family is generally baffled by what I eat and I hate people making a fuss! I hate to hurt anyones feelings especially my MIL!Bringing my own food helps. We can't worry about what other people think though. It's our health and our bodies and our food issues.

[MaryW]

I could have sworn I posted a reply the other day! Oh well. Thanks for stopping by folks.

Speaking of potlucks, we're having one at work this week. I'm planning to make the Mexican lasagna from the fat free vegan web site. Hopefully it will go over well. I hope people don't spend a lot of time examining what I am eating. It's really not that interesting!

Every summer we have a battle at work. A couple of coworkers are boiling hot and I'm freezing to death. Today was the beginning of battle season. Someone kept edging the thermostat below 70 degrees and I kept pushing it back to 70. Even at 70 degrees though, I was so cold! I put on a sweater and drank hot tea. One guy said that he couldn't believe I was cold. How rude! Like fat people can't get cold??

[MaryW]

Two months back on the wagon, and I've hit 30 pounds lost! Woo hoo!

Uh oh! It looks like my journal has hit unlucky page 13. I guess I better post a lot to roll it over to page 14!

[Brad]

Two months back on the wagon, and I've hit 30 pounds lost! Woo hoo!

Uh oh! It looks like my journal has hit unlucky page 13. I guess I better post a lot to roll it over to page 14!

Welcome back. Hope you can stay
brad

[janluvs2heel]

Two months back on the wagon, and I've hit 30 pounds lost! Woo hoo!

Uh oh! It looks like my journal has hit unlucky page 13. I guess I better post a lot to roll it over to page 14!

Hi MaryW:

You Go Girl!!!!!!!!!

You are doing great, dont worry about the page #, just tell yourself it is lucky #13!!

[MaryW]

There is a billboard that I pass on the way to work. It's a picture of a cigarette on an ashtray. It reads "Never quit trying to quit." I think this phrase can apply to many addictions that we face. My addiction is food. I've been trying to quit for years. I'm currently failing miserably. But I'm trying! I joined a TOPS group in January. I lost 9.25 pounds in February! Yippee! March hasn't been so good. I lose and gain, lose and gain. To make things worse, the man I'm seeing has been eating my low fat vegetarian cooking, and he's losing weight! I'm a good influence on him. But he's not a good influence on me. He eats a lot of junk food in front of me. Which just makes ME want to eat junk food! And even though he eats junk, he's still losing weight! SOO frustrating. Not to mention my ongoing issues at work. It is a junk food lover's paradise. Or a dieter's nightmare. The new snack of choice is Dunkin Donuts munchkins. There is almost always a box on the counter in the office. Last week was especially bad. I stood by that box and shoveled them into my mouth! I've asked people at work not to bring in those things, or at least put them in the cabinets instead of sitting them on the counter. But they all complain. I'm SOOO frustrated! I had some weight loss success in 2009 with weight loss, but I was working in a different place where there wasn't junk food all over the place and people had a more healthy attitude.

Anyway, I've been avoiding the boards because I've been doing so poorly. Isn't that ironic? When I need the support the most, I avoid it! Posting always helps though. Helps me stay on track. Helps me feel connected to like-minded people. Posting is good. McDougalling is good. Trying again and again is good. I'm not giving up!

[f1jim]

Mon Feb 09, 2009 11:52 am
I see that date when you post and it tells me you have the good sense to know there is something in this plan that rings true. Something that innately tells you there is health and possibly happiness somewhere in here. Something that keeps you coming back to us.
Yet the fight is terribly difficult like anything worth fighting for. I'll put my two cents in along with others and you can choose to use the info or discard as you see fit.
There is no shame in eating out of the company candy jar or donut stash as it brings you what you are looking for. A rush of incredibly good feeling to you and the taste buds. Usually followed by a period of disappointment for making such a decision. Many times wishing you had made a different choice. When you made the choice it was the right choice for that moment in time. For some it will always be the right choice and they go to their reward happy with a life of momentary rushes of joy.
But many people get to a point where that isn't satisfying enough. The idea of a healthy trim body outweighs those momentary flashes of satisfying the taste buds. The thought of a completely different thought process or lifestyle looks more attractive.
When that happens the walk past the donuts or candy jar will take on a different meaning. At first it will be the same tugging of the taste buds but in your mind you will start asking yourself what the right decision for someone with your new lifestyle is. Making the right choice often enough makes it easier and more rewarding as seeing the results isn't an overnight process. But it does allow the changes to both your taste buds and your attitude to change. And that change is the one that will deliver you from the cycle of up and down results. You have to start thinking and acting like the person with the new and different lifestyle. Like acting out a role you are trying out for. You have to master it before you get it! And get it you will.
But make sure you want the changes that come with the lifestyle change more than the momentary rush of satisfying the craving. Maybe you do....maybe you don't.
Let's see how things look:
Mon Feb 09, 2013 11:52 am

Good luck on your journey. Feel free to let us know what your decisions are day to day till then.
f1jim

[MaryW]

I had a good weigh in at my TOPS meeting last night. Nothing is more motivating for weight loss than weight loss itself! Many of the women in the group have been going for years and still haven't reached their goal. I don't plan to fall into that category. But there is one young lady who is on the ball with her weight loss. She is my competition!

I'm proud of myself. A box of munchkins came into the office on Tuesday and I resisted the rest of the week! Now if only I could keep the munchkins OUT of the office.

[Debbie]

Welcome back Mary. Keep digging. Congrats on ignoring the munchkins, whatever those are. Nice to see you around here again.

[kirstykay]

Mary, I so totally relate to the food addiction aspect of this process. f1jim's advice is right on the money! For me, I have to recognize that my addiction to food is exactly the same as an alcoholic's or drug user's addiction, and the only way for me to break my addiction is abstinence! I HAVE to resist the urge to indulge until the urge subsides, and just to take it day by day. I have to also recognize that not everyone responds this way to food, just like I don't respond that way to alcohol...I can take it or leave it. So, if people thoughtlessly bring junk food into my life, it's still my responsibility to make the decision of whether or not that is worth what it will do to me. The further I get away from it, the easier it is to say to myself, "that is simply not a choice for me."

Congrats on resisting the Munchkins! That is a tremendous victory, and you should celebrate it!!! You will reach your goals, you obviously have the determination and ability to succeed! Keep posting, and keep going! You can do this!!!