Holy cow, I actually did something social.
Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 1:38 pmHere's another little victory I wanted to share! I'm just 7 days out of the 5-day program (so 12 days eating this way) and Friday night, I actually had both energy and inclination to go out with friends after work.
Which I haven't felt like doing for YEARS. I've been depressed, feeling unattractive, anxious and full of self-recrimination for how I was eating. And that all added up to running home after Friday's work and just holing up and trying to distract myself from how I was feeling with TV or online brain-drain activity.
And mind you, I'm still wearing the exact same size pants as when I started the 5-day. But my face isn't so puffy and I don't feel like an achy old grandma. I feel (at age 49) more like a 30-year-old. My belly feels less bloated. My head feels more clear. I'm not hungry and obsessing on food all the time, then trying to hide it from everyone that I'm sneaking yet another bag of potato chips.
It was so amazing to me. Two friends and I went to a bustling tacqueria in Berkeley where I had really yummy beans and some sauteed veggies with tortillas and then saw another friend's first art gallery show.
It became clear to me that by taking some basic care of myself, I was able to do something nice for this friend by bringing people to appreciate her artwork. As an artist myself, I remember how nervous and vulnerable I felt at an opening - "Will anyone show up? Here are all my guts in the form of my art out here on display and will I be supported?" So I'm pretty sure my friend appreciated that we came to the show.
Good to remember when the (crazy) "internal critics" try to tell me I'm a self-obsessed brat to insist on spending so much time and energy on my way of eating.
Which I haven't felt like doing for YEARS. I've been depressed, feeling unattractive, anxious and full of self-recrimination for how I was eating. And that all added up to running home after Friday's work and just holing up and trying to distract myself from how I was feeling with TV or online brain-drain activity.
And mind you, I'm still wearing the exact same size pants as when I started the 5-day. But my face isn't so puffy and I don't feel like an achy old grandma. I feel (at age 49) more like a 30-year-old. My belly feels less bloated. My head feels more clear. I'm not hungry and obsessing on food all the time, then trying to hide it from everyone that I'm sneaking yet another bag of potato chips.
It was so amazing to me. Two friends and I went to a bustling tacqueria in Berkeley where I had really yummy beans and some sauteed veggies with tortillas and then saw another friend's first art gallery show.
It became clear to me that by taking some basic care of myself, I was able to do something nice for this friend by bringing people to appreciate her artwork. As an artist myself, I remember how nervous and vulnerable I felt at an opening - "Will anyone show up? Here are all my guts in the form of my art out here on display and will I be supported?" So I'm pretty sure my friend appreciated that we came to the show.
Good to remember when the (crazy) "internal critics" try to tell me I'm a self-obsessed brat to insist on spending so much time and energy on my way of eating.
