Hi again,
I wanted to post a little about me, and where I am at now. For 20 years I have struggled with trying to follow the McDougall and the MWL plans but I would only be on a few days or weeks before sliding off again. But I always tried, from a little to a lot, to do my best.
In my case I needed to get rid of 225 pounds. I still have a long way to go, but I have kept 60 lbs off over a year and am down 86 lbs so far. I still have at least 139 lbs to go, but I feel like I can get there.
I have another thread in the daily menu thread where I post about working to get rid of my CHF (and chronic asthma, hypertension, diabetes and morbid obesity). It's called Keeping it 500-1000mg sodium so I can breathe
xCHF
viewtopic.php?f=10&t=53686&p=547410#p547211 Spoiler- my asthma doesn't bother me now, the diabetes is gone, the hypertension is much better and almost gone, the obesity is getting better, and the CHF is not bothering me anymore but i will go for a new ECG in 6 months to measure the improvement.
The question that has bothered me personally for the whole time is-
"Why is it so hard for me to permanently change my food?” (especially when I know better, especially when it is life or death, especially when eating that old food is making me miserable)
The rest of this post is really long but I tried to cover some of the most important things I learned so far. I feel it was important to share this now because after struggling for 20 years, I feel like many pieces have finally come together in a way that is really reliably consistently working for me. I am no expert except on how I feel, but I have studied and worked on this for a very long time and wanted to share some of what has changed how I see this whole thing. The (Note #) are footnotes for sources and more information.
Some of these might help anyone, some are probably more for people like me that have struggled for a long time and “know better” but still eat (ate) crap. I feel like I am not struggling anymore, like I am finally moving in the right direction.
Number one is the obvious “keep going”. Keep learning, keep trying, keep eating good food, keep working on it. Even when you have trouble. For many people there is no single “golden moment of clarity” where they suddenly realize the true way to stay on it forever and all is solved and easy after that one moment. But keep woking on this and you will make progress,
the work is the progress.Unusual but really important things I learned so far-
1. You can’t only “just say no” to cravings for calorie dense hyper-stimulating “food” (high in sugar-fat-salt) because the most basic ancient part of your brain has stored these “foods” as literally “essential for survival” and will fight you for them with everything it has. Recognize how serious your brain thinks this is, and counter it with “that is old information, and now my survival depends on these healthy foods.” Every time it comes up. It will get easier, but only if you continue to refuse to eat them. Things that don’t fit in your guidelines are “not food“, and now are in the old world of “what you used to eat when you were sick and or fat”. They are not part of your world now.
2. The Habit Loop (Note 1) has three parts, cue, action, and reward. We can change some of the cues by not having crap in the house, and taking different roads home, but the cues to eat those old “foods” are everywhere all the time and your brain will remember the cues and the action and the reward, and your habits can take control of your actions unless you are aware of all 3 parts of the Habit Loop, and take actions to change them. You can change your action and your reward to support healthy results instead of bad ones. Just keep in mind how strong the cues are and why.
3. The social pressure to eat old “foods” is real and biological and can be worked around more easily when you know more about what it is, and why it is so strong. In short- for your survival in the long long ago you had to care what people thought of you because it meant the difference between surviving in the village or being cast out and dying. (Note 2)
4. Friends and loved ones who offer you things high in fat-sugar-salt are reacting to a real biological survival drive in their brains to share rich foods with loved ones. The survival of everyone’s loved ones in ancient days depended on sharing rich calorie dense foods with them. (Note 3) It still is deep in their brains and they probably don’t know it, but they have the urge to share brownies, Alfredo, and basically anything rich and calorie dense with those they care about. That is part of the basis for birthday cake and Thanksgiving, and all sorts of food sharing. Just being prepared for how strong that drive is in the people who are sharing, can help you say no with kindness.
Basic things that are important
1. Attitude for success- keep an escape route open to avoid panic. The fear of “never eating food X ever again” is real, especially to the ancient survival part of your brain that is still convinced that item is essential to survival. As Dr. Doug Lisle says, tell yourself (and others if you want to) that this is an “Experiment” and it “seems to be working for me for now”. Set a time limit for this experiment such as 30 days and give it enough attention to do it, but not so much pressure that you fear failure. Failure actually is always temporary and you can get right back on. The only real failure is to stop or to never try. You will probably find that after 30 days you feel so good and you are willing to renew the experiment for another 30 days.
2. Mistakes are not failure, they are “experience” and if you learn from them they become wisdom.
3. Build a supply of foods you enjoy, can cook or get easily, and can rely on. Start simple and get as creative as you like within your guidelines. It can be quick things out of cans and frozen, or more time consuming recipes if you like cooking. Most people end up with maybe 5 things they like to eat and rotate them. (Note 4)
4. Plan ahead of time for “inflection points” (also Note 1) These are things that stop us or delay us on the road to eating right. They are decision points throughout the day or week that are suddenly stressful or an unexpected delay or change of plans that can drive us to old “foods” for relief. If you notice when you go off track and why, then you can plan ahead of time what you will do when it happens again. Such as “If my train is late, I will eat the extra food I packed for this kind of delay” or “If I am upset about X, then I will have some of my favorite healthy comfort food ready, or go for a walk” or whatever works for you. Thinking about the situation in advance when there is no real stress can help you act the way you want to when it happens for real, instead of only re-acting. The more specific you are in your “what ifs”, the more they will work for you in real life because they will be more real to you.
-5. It is so important to keep reading, watching, and learning. You never know when you will come across something that will change how you see your world, and learn more about why you do what you do
6. When you leave the house bring your own food with you, enough so that if you are gone longer than you think you will still be fine. When you have your own food you are much safer from temptation and peer pressure. That way you are safe and in control of your own food, not at the mercy of restaurants, tiredness, or hunger.
This was one of the most important changes in how I see “food” and “not food”
-Make a clean break from old "foods" that set you off. They chemically alter your brain like heroin, or crack or something, just banish them (but keep in mind that your brain still has stored them as survival necessary so take them that seriously when you say no)
It's almost like fire. You can gradually put the fire out, but you can't keep adding lit matches, not even a few matches, if you want the fire to stay out.
This is why the myth of moderation is so dangerous. Your brain deeply remembers these foods and had pathways ingrained to ensure you will always get them to survive. The more of that old food you have, or the more often you have it, even a little, then the deeper the pathways are created and make it harder to ignore. Dr. Doug Lisle calls these "weeds" because they take root and spread and leave no room for the healthy foods. But I found they are far deeper and more dangerous than weeds. The only cure for many people is total abstinence. Just like you would not suggest that an alcoholic switch from wine to beer or cut down to just one beer a day.
Truly these are just a few things I had found helpful over the 20 years of working on this. I have a long way to go but I am very happy now and making progress. (Note 5)
Cheers
Notes
Note 1-a book called “The Habit Loop” by Charles Duhigg. It’s a great book, all 3 sections are useful.
Note 2- Dr. Doug Lisle has several great videos and YouTube lectures on these (and other) topics. Look for “Getting Along without Going Along”, and “Stepping Stones to Self Esteem”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1Nen_MH7lENote 3- From an article "The Exercise Paradox" in the Feb. 2017 issue of Scientific American by a Biological Anthropologist named Herman Pontzer. (This article is mainly about fascinating info that exercise does not burn as many calories as we thought, but is still vital for strength flexibility and health, just not for weight loss).The article also says that the sharing of food was vital for human survival back long long ago. So if you wanted your loved ones and even friends to survive, you shared the richest most calorie dense foods with them. If you look at the social pressure to share food in that light, you can see why it is important to them to share with you, and the "why" of it being so deep they don't even realize it. So even if they know you are trying to eat better, they will want to offer it, or be hurt if they don't. You can assure them it looks like great food, and you really appreciate the offer and how kind they were. But you can also say your doctor (Dr. McDougall if you want to be specific lol) has told you to avoid that food so you can't today, or something like that.
Note 4- I have just a few basic ingredients that I mix and match during the week. (for more on what I eat check my post on this board called Keeping it 500-1,000mg Sodium So I Can Breathe xCHF
viewtopic.php?f=10&t=53686Note 5- I am not a doctor, or a medical professional of any kind. I am a student and have done 20 years of research into the topics of nutrition, weight loss, behavior, psychology, anthropology, addiction and habits among other things. I love to learn, and hope someday to be helpful to other people who are having a hard time with eating right and feeling better.
