Tell them you used to be very fat. (Washington Post)

[StarchHEFP]

Here is a unique perspective. Brilliant! https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/11/30/my-best-trick-for-staying-thin-telling-everyone-i-used-to-be-fat/?utm_term=.52a6566dd5cc

Mike Riggs of Washington Post:

On my first day at my current job, one of my colleagues brought in a dozen doughnuts to welcome me to the team. I love doughnuts. And pie. And cake and ice cream and french fries and pancakes. But I almost never eat those things anymore.

Instead of simply saying no, I declined in the most awkward way possible: I told these friendly people, many of whom I had met only minutes earlier, that I used to be 90 pounds heavier, really didn’t like weighing that much, and now eat garbage only on very special occasions.

I’ve delivered that explanation dozens of times over the past two years. Most people react by hemming and hawing. A few folks get defensive. Both reactions are understandable. Not only are my responses incongruous, they are fundamentally impolite. But I do it anyway, because full disclosure is the best tool I have for putting people off. They feel awkward, they don’t want to feel that way again, so they don’t ask a second time, or push me to try something just this once.

And I’d rather be rude and healthy than compliant and obese...

[MINNIE]

LOL - that is so great!!

[dinska]

It is!

But of course it isn't simple because people don't like to be reminded that they are constantly feasting even if you are only talking about yourself (and not accusing others.) Still the best approach.

[roundcoconut]

It is really funny, I think you can also tell people that you eat this way because you like the way your body looks. I've started doing this, and it's really powerful to just say these kinds of things out loud.

I was telling a friend the other day that I just LIKE my body when it is very lean, and so I just stick to whole natural foods. Some people like a more fuller-figured aesthetic, which is totally a matter of personal preference. But I like a very lean aesthetic, and I just feel like I get to decide WHOSE aesthetic I want to bring to bear on my own body. And it makes total sense that I would choose to go with my OWN tastes and preferences, rather than someone else's.

Does anyone other than me find this concept really funny and empowering?

Like, other people are welcome to a different aesthetic, and they can practice that on their OWN body. Me, I know what looks prettiest to me, (and no one needs to agree with that,) and I practice that on MY body.

Anyone who doesn't like my idea of pretty, really isn't my problem. Some day, I will say to someone (who prefers the aesthetic qualities of bodies that are different from mine): "Well, then it's a good thing we're not married!"

I see a lot of humor in that!

Strangely, there's something very negative to me, in saying you eat a certain way because you didn't like being heavy. Much nicer to say what DOES feel good to you, than what sucked.

Endless possibilities in how we tell people about our food choices and health preferences!

[Kaye]

I like the tip someone posted on here (sorry can't remember who it was) of saying "I just feel so much better eating this way" Not many people are going to say "go on, eat this so you can feel worse".

One of my relatives makes a terrible pudding called Gypsy Tart. It is a pasty base filled with a mixture made from tinned condensed milk and muscavado sugar. She gives this "treat" to people who are not well to help them get better apparently It is no shock to me that most of her family are very sick. I have begged my Mum not to touch any when she visits but sadly she is more worried about not offending than she is about getting well.

[katgirl55]

What if the new employee was an alcoholic and was offered champagne or an invitation for after work drinks? People shouldn't assume that everyone wants junk food/alcohol/cigarettes/fill in the blank.....

That sounds harsh, but many people cannot fathom why a person would turn down a beer or a doughnut. We need to change their thinking about things. It used to be de rigueur for people to light up a cigarette anywhere they wanted, but attitudes (and laws) have changed. When I go to a concert, I am appalled at the number of people I see going back and forth to buy alcohol, which they will drink and then get behind the wheel of a car. This is considered normal. We need to normalize NOT drinking at every social event, and NOT pushing junk food onto coworkers.

[Ltldogg]

What if the new employee was an alcoholic and was offered champagne or an invitation for after work drinks? People shouldn't assume that everyone wants junk food/alcohol/cigarettes/fill in the blank.....

That sounds harsh, but many people cannot fathom why a person would turn down a beer or a doughnut. We need to change their thinking about things. It used to be de rigueur for people to light up a cigarette anywhere they wanted, but attitudes (and laws) have changed. When I go to a concert, I am appalled at the number of people I see going back and forth to buy alcohol, which they will drink and then get behind the wheel of a car. This is considered normal. We need to normalize NOT drinking at every social event, and NOT pushing junk food onto coworkers.

[healthyvegan]

been using that line for 17 years!

[patty]

One of my relatives makes a terrible pudding called Gypsy Tart. It is a pasty base filled with a mixture made from tinned condensed milk and muscavado sugar. She gives this "treat" to people who are not well to help them get better apparently It is no shock to me that most of her family are very sick. I have begged my Mum not to touch any when she visits but sadly she is more worried about not offending than she is about getting well.

That is where it is really difficult. Food is a comforter/a binder.. and addicts in relationships take hostages:) Addicts eat to live, not live to eat, because a addict's life is designed to disappoint. I love how Dr. McDougall is like Dr. Bob and Bill W. of AA, where the addiction dominos stop with food and money. Eating starch based food and money is no longer musical chairs, there is enough for everybody. What a gift to humanity. Everyone can relax and be here:) No one needs to be the Emperor without any clothes. We are all addicts. And food kicks butt, and Life vitalizes us.

Aloha, patty

[vgpedlr]

I like the alcohol analogy. In any social situation where I've seen an alcoholic share that, everyone goes out of their way to make them feel comfortable. Food is a little different, but I think people can respond in kind.

It seems to me (ha ha) a lot like Doug Lisle's "It seems..." strategy. When offered SAD food, one can say something like, "I'm sorry, it looks good, but I used to be overweight. I quit eating x,w, and z, and it seems to work really well for me."

[PurplePotato]

This discussion reminds me of something I read in one of Neal Barnard's books. It's been awhile now since I read it, so I'm badly paraphrasing; but it came down to the fact that in situations like this, many times the person you are talking to is jealous of your willpower (or impressed by your willpower, if you prefer). This is in spite of the fact that something else may seem to show on their face or come out of there mouths. I'm not actually certain where I was going with this, but I find having a bit of perspective can help you see a person's response a bit more compassionately.

My current method in these situations is to simply say "no thank you," with absolutely no explanation given, then go straight back to whatever else I was doing (or go back to the previous subject in the conversation, ect.). I find if I don't make a fuss about it, others tend not to either.

[frozenveg]

Most of the time, I do exactly what the Washington Post article said. I then usually decline any further discussion of my preferences, what foods are good or bad for you., etc. I think it is probably actually easier for a woman to do that than for a man, since women are expected to care more about weight in re appearance than men, in general.

And yes, roundcoconut, it would be lovely to emphasize the positive and say I like the way my body looks, but that is actually also pretty awkward! I usually say that I feel 30 years younger and put the emphasis on my well-being in a general way, draw the 90-pound backpack analogy, and most people just let it go.