Looking for help on how to respond in non-critical ways

[Franchesca_S.]

Choufleur,
It is difficult staying with other people and staying on plan. I personally would reference doctors orders, "We have an allergy to dairy and meat" will cover both you and daughter. People generally do not question doctors ( and they should) but it might help you.
Franchesca

[choufleur]

Thanks again dailycarbs, for the links. I'll read them tonight.

Lesliec1 - how frustrating about your friend's daughter! I have had similar experiences where I've tried to tell people maybe eating a different way would help some problem they have but all of them ultimately continued the way they were eating, which is why I stopped talking to people about it. I would love to have more conversations with other parents about how they handle tricky situations of grandparents and other people giving their kids things they don't approve of.

Franchesca - thanks for your advice. Unfortunately I kind of feel like it's lying to say we have allergies to meat and dairy since my daughter's father is around and it would be news to him. It is definitely a challenge to eat on plan staying with other people!

Thanks to everyone who responded. What a nice group of supportive people.

[patty]

Are you familiar with "The Work" by Byron Katie? Byron Katie woke up with a cockroach crawling over her foot in a half way house for overeaters. She takes you to that place where when you see a snake on the road, it turns out to be a stick. The Work, is four questions.. is it true and then a turn around. The child's father being a Scientist, The Work.. might help you escalate your communication. I just did a search and this link has some videos.. the first just 13 seconds where she says, "The receiving is the giving." https://www.youtube.com/user/TheWorkofBK

Knowing that you and your daughter are in a temporary situation, is probably the most important factor. But that is true in life being a apparent reality. It is just a good reminder. Being starched based, allows you to think through the situation (in-laws) where you are not overwhelmed where you can respond vs. react.. and that is what you want to witness/give to your child. Words like addiction, allergies are just blanket words for something much deeper. And of course that is the wall you are trying to penetrate. Addiction is a disease that tells the addict they aren't addicted. I practice HALT, don't get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired.. in essence it equates to the satiety of starch, a freedom from over stimulating foods which deny Being.

I am sure watching your child on sugar, is evident enough to know it equates to hyperactivity. With dairy it is a little tricker, but as a mother I know witnessing her toilet activities you will be able to catch it. Your husband or your in-laws might not be able to catch it, but I am sure you will be able too. And in doing so, and communicating about it, might help them to observe what happens to them when eating certain foods. We reside in the best labs there are, our bodies are our best labs, they don't lie.

I just love Dr. McDougall as he is such a advocate for women. In Hawaii we are blessed Dr. McDougall helped put in the law the doctor has to tell the woman prior to signing a consent form, she can have a lumpectomy vs. a mastectomy. His book "The McDougall's Program with Women" might be your best resource in communicating with your partner as you both share the most precious gift, a child.

If you haven't read Dr. McDougall's "The McDougall's Program with Women"? This is just one small part where he talks about bottle feeding. I am sure you are well past that, and even if you did bottle feed that is immaterial as the body is always trying to heal:

Giving Your Child a Healthful Head Start 65
The list of ailments commonly associated with bottle-feeding is long. Research has shown that bottle-feeding contributes to digestive disor- ders, including inflammatory bowel disease, celiac disease (associated with intestinal disorders, anemia, and malfunction of the pancreas), obstruction of the stomach outlet (or hypertrophic pyloric stenosis); acute appendicitis; tonsillitis; and tooth decay and crooked alignment of teeth (malocclusion). Unlike bottle-feeding, breast-feeding appears to enhance proper development of the jaws and teeth, causing teeth to come in straight and aligned.

Bottle-feeding is also associated with higher rates of obesity in both children and adults. More bottle-fed children also suffer from an in- ability to grow normally and, later in life, tend to have higher rates of coronary heart disease and multiple sclerosis.
In addition to being devoid of so many essential components, for- mulas have also been found to contain a high degree of aluminum, which research has shown may cause disorders of the bone, brain, and nervous systems of infants. The aluminum in formulas probably comes from several sources, including the soybeans used to make the formu- las, the formula's additives, the manufacturer's processing, and the storage containers that hold the liquid, often for extended periods of time. (It should be noted that soy products also contain an abundance of phytoestrogens, which are discussed in chapter 6.) The chart that follows shows the relative amounts of aluminum in various substances to which infants are exposed.

ALUMINUM CONCENTRATIONS IN MILKS
(measured in micrograms of aluminum found in a liter ofl quid)
Breast milk 9 Whey-based 165 Fortified 161
Preterm 300 Soy 534 Casein hydrolysate 773

Studies have shown that infants are at risk of experiencing alu- minum poisoning when they consume aluminum in amounts that are greater than 300 micrograms per liter of the "milk" substance. As the chart shows, the risk is especially frightening for infants fed soy- and casein-based formulas. According to a study by the formula manufac- turer, Mead Johnson Nutritionals, in the United States approximately 50 percent of all newborns and 87 percent of 3-month-old infants are fed a commercial formula either as their sole source of nutrition or as a supplement to breast milk.

Aloha, patty

[Dougalling]

Hello

Please send them to DrGreger.org If they go to the site and it opens their eye, then they can read How Not To Die by Dr Greger.

Also, when they say, such and such a food is healthy, you can reply that yes, that food does have nutrients but this (WFPB) food has more nutrients and is better for the child and I want her/him to have the best nutrients.

A simple statement is that the American way of eating which has so much dairy/eggs/meat/fish causes heart disease, diabetes, cancer, arthritis, etc. You want to teach your child a better way of eating so that she/he does not eat the American way and develop those diseases. Unfortunately, eating the French way will lead your child to eat the American way when she/he grows up.

[GeoffreyLevens]

+1 for Byron Katie's "The Work". Simple and elegant, easy to learn, not so easy to practice at first but well worth it! Indeed, as Patty mentioned above, it really is a scientific way of approaching what we believe vs what we know. Do it yourself first and it can dramatically change your world. Surprisingly enough, when you practice it yourself, secretly, others around you often change in response. And all info and instructions are available online free.

Tools to Do The Work

[bbq]

Behind the Scenes at NutritionFacts.org
http://youtu.be/nK_I7z7ZELk
How does Dr. Greger come up with his videos?
http://nutritionfacts.org/video/behind-the-scenes-at-nutritionfacts-org/

20 people should be reading 200 research papers on a daily basis, maybe it's way beyond "anyone can write a book."

[choufleur]

Thanks again, everyone, for your suggestions! I will check out Bryon Katie and attempt to send them to Dr. Greger's website.

Yesterday I chopped up some raw kale and made myself a kale salad with tomatoes, carrots, and cooked buckwheat. The mother just kept asking me, "But is it good [tasting]???" since she was in obvious disbelief kale could taste good at all. I will be glad when we're back in the U.S. in a few weeks and I can eat all the potatoes and kale and broccoli and cabbage and cauliflower I want without any comments!

[GeoffreyLevens]

Yesterday I chopped up some raw kale and made myself a kale salad with tomatoes, carrots, and cooked buckwheat. The mother just kept asking me, "But is it good [tasting]???" since she was in obvious disbelief kale could taste good at all.

Ooo-Ooo, inquiring minds want to know, did she then taste it? And if so, did she like it?

[patty]

Thanks again, everyone, for your suggestions! I will check out Bryon Katie and attempt to send them to Dr. Greger's website.

Yesterday I chopped up some raw kale and made myself a kale salad with tomatoes, carrots, and cooked buckwheat. The mother just kept asking me, "But is it good [tasting]???" since she was in obvious disbelief kale could taste good at all. I will be glad when we're back in the U.S. in a few weeks and I can eat all the potatoes and kale and broccoli and cabbage and cauliflower I want without any comments!

Be sure to check out Byron Katie.. because even though you will be home, you and your daughter have made a impact that in essence there is no distance when it comes to health/well being. You will want to be there for her, more than her for you:) It's not two. There is no greater love than parent and child and that is what you will be honoring with your partner and his mother.

Aloha, patty

[choufleur]

Yesterday I chopped up some raw kale and made myself a kale salad with tomatoes, carrots, and cooked buckwheat. The mother just kept asking me, "But is it good [tasting]???" since she was in obvious disbelief kale could taste good at all.

Ooo-Ooo, inquiring minds want to know, did she then taste it? And if so, did she like it?

Hah, Geoffrey, you can guess the answer: NO, she didn't taste it! She was willing to taste plain tofu though (she didn't like it), and smell the kale at least. She told me she's never been able to eat broccoli, or any of the brassicas, and that one time as an adult she tried again (since her husband likes cauliflower, but he's never allowed to buy it since she can't stand the smell of it cooked), but couldn't do it. She believes she physically cannot eat it, and that she is "just one of those people" who can't eat those types of foods.

[GeoffreyLevens]

To be fair to Mom, all the bitter greens used to make me physically gag unless I hid them under thick cheese sauce. Never ate them. When I started eating this way I discovered that I could hide them under mashed baked sweet potato so started doing that from time to time. Took quite a number of months but actually started to enjoy them, and then gradually, with less and less of the sweet potato. Now I love them plain, even raw, in salad, whatever. Tasted do change but I guess you have to be willing.

[GeoffreyLevens]

And I am pretty sure I never would have done it without a major health threat gun to my head to make me change my diet!

[choufleur]

To be fair to Mom, all the bitter greens used to make me physically gag unless I hid them under thick cheese sauce. Never ate them. When I started eating this way I discovered that I could hide them under mashed baked sweet potato so started doing that from time to time. Took quite a number of months but actually started to enjoy them, and then gradually, with less and less of the sweet potato. Now I love them plain, even raw, in salad, whatever. Tasted do change but I guess you have to be willing.

Yes, luckily tastes do change! But one has to be willing to go through the effort of getting there, and they are definitely not there at this time.

And that is usually how I get my toddler to eat the bitter greens: mix them with mashed sweet potatoes! Or mashed apple.

[choufleur]

Thanks again, everyone, for your suggestions! I will check out Bryon Katie and attempt to send them to Dr. Greger's website.

Yesterday I chopped up some raw kale and made myself a kale salad with tomatoes, carrots, and cooked buckwheat. The mother just kept asking me, "But is it good [tasting]???" since she was in obvious disbelief kale could taste good at all. I will be glad when we're back in the U.S. in a few weeks and I can eat all the potatoes and kale and broccoli and cabbage and cauliflower I want without any comments!

Be sure to check out Byron Katie.. because even though you will be home, you and your daughter have made a impact that in essence there is no distance when it comes to health/well being. You will want to be there for her, more than her for you:) It's not two. There is no greater love than parent and child and that is what you will be honoring with your partner and his mother.

Aloha, patty

Thank you patty, I will check her out.
Also, thanks for posting the bit above about the bottle-feeding. Breastfeeding was also a struggle for me to continue to do for so long, since it doesn't seem that it is as culturally accepted. I am actually still breastfeeding my (16 mo) toddler despite the family's disapproval about me being a "slave" to her.

[patty]

Thank you patty, I will check her out.
Also, thanks for posting the bit above about the bottle-feeding. Breastfeeding was also a struggle for me to continue to do for so long, since it doesn't seem that it is as culturally accepted. I am actually still breastfeeding my (16 mo) toddler despite the family's disapproval about me being a "slave" to her.

If it was up to man women would not have milk in her breast to feed her young. It goes back to I didn’t invent it.. as Dr. McDougall shares about his anger with his mentor, how people are not able to get how starch is the solution not only to personal health but for the health of the environment they live in.

Protein accelerates growth for good and bad. Meat and dairy products stimulate growth by various mechanisms, which include raising levels of insulin-like growth factor-1 (IGF-1). 42 Resembling insulin in its chemical structure, IGF-1 accelerates the rate of growth of normal and diseased tissues, bone, and cancer, respectively. Activities from this hormone also accelerate aging. Mice with lower levels of IGF-1, according to numerous experiments, live 40 percent longer than mice with normal levels of IGF-1.43 What’s more, as these mice get older, they not only look younger, but, more importantly, they resist diseases and chronic ailments of the aging process. They have good eyes, healthy joints, high-functioning brains, and sustained immunity. Presently, researchers believe our best hope for increasing longevity is by lowering IGF-1 activity.

All animal foods— cow’s milk, in particular— raise IGF-1 levels in humans. 44 The purpose of cow’s milk is to accelerate the growth of a cow from 60 to 600 pounds. Because protein promotes growth, a diet high in protein, regardless of the source, automatically raises IGF-1 levels. A good example of this effect by vegetable protein is seen with the isolated soy protein used in synthetic foods, from candy bars to burgers, which is an even more powerful promoter of IGF-1 than cow’s milk. 45  

Foods That Raise IGF-1        
Protein in general        
Isolated soy protein        
Milk        
Meat        
Poultry        
Fish              
Seafood46   T

he benefits of lowering your IGF-1 activity, through something as simple as making sensible food choices, can be documented in people. A study of 292 British women ages twenty to seventy years found that the serum IGF-1 activity was 13 percent lower in the 92 women who followed a vegan diet compared to the level in the 99 meat eaters and 101 lacto-ovo-vegetarians. 47 Similar effects have been found in men following vegan diets. 48

McDougall, John (2016-09-27). The Healthiest Diet on the Planet: Why the Foods You Love - Pizza, Pancakes, Potatoes, Pasta, and More - Are the Solution to Preventing Disease and Looking and Feeling Your Best (Kindle Locations 481-482). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.

In the movie Cowspricy.. the IGF factor jumped out at me.

“I tell people, look, most Americans eat a piece of animal flesh two or three times a day. Bacon and eggs for breakfast. Cheeseburgers for lunch. Chicken for dinner. Every four or six hours, a piece of animal flesh is going down American throats. Not even mountain lions eat flesh three times a day, and yet we homo sapien naked apes gorge on flesh nonstop, and it’s killing us.”

“Do you think anyone should be consuming dairy?” I ask. I still have trouble believing that cow’s milk, which I’ve been told all my life is a cornerstone of a healthy diet, could be bad for me.

“I really don’t. When you think about it”— Dr. Klaper sighs heavily—“ the purpose of cows’ milk— I did most of my growing up on a dairy farm in Wisconsin— is to turn a sixty-five-pound calf into a four-hundred-pound cow as rapidly as possible. Cows’ milk is baby calf growth fluid, is what the stuff is. Everything in that white liquid . . . the hormones, the lipids”— he counts them off on his fingers—“ the proteins, the sodium, the growth factor, the IGF [insulin-like growth factor-1] . . . Every one of those is meant to blow that calf up to a great big cow or it wouldn’t be there. And whether you pour it on your cereal as a liquid, whether you clot it into yogurt, whether you ferment it into cheese, whether you freeze it into ice cream— it’s baby calf growth fluid.” He sighs again. “And women eat it and it stimulates their tissues and it gives women breast lumps, 1 it makes the uterus get big and they get fibroids and they bleed, and they get hysterectomies and they need mammograms, and it gives guys man boobs. 2 Cows’ milk is the lactation secretions of a large bovine mammal who just had a baby. It’s for baby calves,” he says again with emphasis. He smiles and says, “I tell my patients to go look in the mirror. Do you have big ears? Do you have a tail? Are you a baby calf? If you’re not, don’t be eating baby calf growth fluid at any level. There’s nothing in it people need!”

Anderson, Kip; Kuhn , Keegan (2016-07-12). The Sustainability Secret (Kindle Locations 2660-2671). Earth Aware Editions. Kindle Edition.

I just thank our lucky stars for Dr. McDougall because I work at the end of life cycle and I see women’s bodies mutilated. Dr. McDougall helped legislate a law in Hawaii that women before signing a constant form having their breast removed, they have to be told they can have a lumpectomy. Be sure to have a copy of “The McDougall Program for Women”. And connect with Whole Woman Inc. and Nora Coffey the founder of H.E.R.S. for more information about the female body. They say Knowledge is power, but Self Knowledge is Self-Empowerment. This is something you can give away freely, to your daughter’s grandparents, just by knowing, as it will resonate subconsciously, to those before them. Wishing you and your family the best! Breast feed equates to a Love that asks for nothing:) It was put there for the young.

Aloha, patty